Newsletter Friday, May 19, 2017

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Friday, May 19, 2017 [Intro for May 19, 2017]( [Katy Perry's Witness album cover]( Dear Gossips, Earlier this week I posted about Katy Perry being a judge on the [American Idol reboot]( and whether or not it’s a good move. It’s becoming more clear now why she and her team think it’s a good move. Unlike previous hits from previous albums, Katy’s songs Chained To The Rhythm and Bon Appetit have not been chart-toppers. Witness, the new album, comes out June 9th. And the third single from Witness was just released last night – Swish Swish ft Nicki Minaj. Everyone’s wondering whether or not the track is a clapback at Taylor Swift. We don’t need to spend any time doing gossip forensics on this issue, of course it’s a clapback. But…is it a GOOD clapback? First of all, I’m not sure Nicki Minaj is the one you want to be clapbacking with. Nicki’s part in Swish Swish is stronger than Katy’s, and the best part of the song, but Nicki’s own clapback game isn’t exactly strong right now. Remember, it took Nicki practically a lifetime to [clap back at Remy Ma]( when she finally did, she couldn’t do it alone, she had help from Drake and Lil Wayne. Second, like Nicki’s No Frauds, Swish Swish…? Is not a good song. The lyrics are corny as f-ck. Your game is tired You should retire You're 'bout cute as An old coupon expired And karma's not a liar She keeps receipts It’s been two years. And this is the best you could do? Here’s the thing though – Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood isn’t a good song either. The advantage that Taylor had with Bad Blood however was that it was the fourth single off of 1989 and the three singles that came before it were major bangers: Shake It Off, then Blank Space, then Style, and only then did Bad Blood follow. By that time, 1989, the album, was already a certified smash. So Katy’s already playing from behind. Chained To The Rhythm and Bon Appetit haven’t matched any of the hits from 1989 so far. Which puts added pressure on Swish Swish to close the gap. Which means Swish Swish had to be a really good song. And… well... I guess we need to wait for the video. It needs to be saved by a buzzy, probably controversial video, like Cry Me A River styles, with a lookalike. American Idol then is making more and more sense. And that’s kind of a surprise to me. Because a month ago, on Show Your Work, Duana and I led with Katy Perry after she covered VOGUE. As Duana pointed out [on that episode]( it was the first time I thought maybe I could get more into Katy Perry. But Swish Swish isn’t doing it for me at all. I was hoping that Katy Perry could out-work or at least work-match Taylor Swift. Now I’m not so sure. Have a great weekend! Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:34 PM [Twihard Zealots Strike Again]( [Jaime King at Lucky Brand Presents Lucky Lives On FW 2017 Preview on May 12, 2017 in Los Angeles, California]( As I was putting together Smutty Social Media yesterday, I noticed that [Jaime King]( wrote a #WCW (Women Crush Wednesday) for [FKA twigs](. I included it because I thought it was cute that twigs was holding the most basic grocery store cake for [Robert Pattinson]( (it was his birthday on May 13), and not even she could make it look cool. (Click on images below to see them in full size.) I quickly scrolled through the comments and they were of course a mess because where FKA goes, Twihards follow with dozens of fake accounts saying the most vile, racist disgusting sh-t. I debated about including some screencaps but I don’t want to give space to that. A few hours after I filed though, Jaime deleted the post. I don’t blame her – Jaime’s feed is about positivity and kindness. And even if it wasn’t, who would want to expose their friend to vitriol from a bunch of f-cking anonymous losers?! I, like many of you, used to laugh at Twihards. Sad (mostly) women hiding behind keyboards, clinging to two people who want nothing to do with them. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are clearly living separate lives after breaking up years ago. But some fundamentalists believe that Rob and Kristen are living in the US with their 2 (or is it 3 now?) children, and FKA twigs is… some kind of elaborate distraction. Making Kristen Stewart’s partners (like Alicia Cargile and Stella Maxwell) just “close friends.” Let’s tumble down the alternative facts rabbit hole for a minute. Imagine twigs and Rob are a PR scam: wouldn’t Rob and Kristen be equally to blame for lying to their fans? Why is it OK to say the most horrible things about FKA twigs but give “married” Rob a pass for pretending to have a girlfriend? How is FKA “using Rob” (which is their main argument) if they are in an equally beneficial fake relationship? And the most important question: Why would they do any of this?! It makes no sense, but sense is not required for this subset of Twihards. And when they say something racist or threatening, they pass it off as passion. (Is this the same thing as “economic anxiety”?) Because they are fans who only want the best for their beloved Robsten, it’s fair to call twigs a whore. I’ve always thought these people were pathetic but harmless…and yet… what if they aren’t? Look at what is happening in the world -- the comments section has sprung to life and we are watching it unfold with every new headline. We are inundated with assholes like this at every turn, people who think their desperation and their fears about anyone who doesn’t look like them justifies harassment. They use their rabidness as protection against logic and civility. But despite their absolute belief in their Robsten theory, these special Twihards hide behind fake profiles because even they know, in the pit of their stomach, that they are losers. There is no space to be kind or empathetic with these women. You create a fake account to call someone the N-word on Instagram, you are a piece of sh-t, full stop. I don’t care how much you liked a movie about vampires or how empty your life is. Kristen is in a romantic relationship with a woman. Rob is engaged to FKA twigs. There is no pedophilia sex ring [in the basement of a pizza parlour](. Deal with it. Here's Jaime King at a Lucky Brand event last week in LA. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 7:01 PM [Smutty Tingles]( A work of art, [probably the greatest headpiece or hood]( I’ll ever see in my life. (Dlisted) [Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban’s joint interview]( (Just Jared) The rest of Michelle Williams’ dress is boring. [But the shoulders are amazing](. (Go Fug Yourself) How Pippa Middleton [will arrive at her wedding]( (Cele|bitchy) [Solange at the Museum](2.114448257.783553391.1495210392-1210396767.1493826732) (Jezebel) [Comparing Zayn, Niall, Liam, and Harry]( – and I still vote for Pillowtalk (TooFab) Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes with their daughters – [look now](! (TMZ) [This guy is a f-cking asshole](. But he’s also been emboldened to behave this way. Imagine how many others there are. (Pajiba) When we went to New York a few weeks ago, [Duana and I had a 2am conversation about the Duggars](. She was able to recite all the names in order. And I admired this. Then I went down the social media black hole. The girls don’t wear pants?!? (Celebrity Dirty Laundry) [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 5:24 PM [The Rock’s “fourth level”]( [Dwayne Johnson during an appearance on NBC's The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, May 18, 2017]( As noted in the [previous post]( about Johnny Depp, [Dwayne The Rock Johnson](’s Baywatch opens next week alongside Johnny Depp’s Pirates 5. So it’ll be Lifeguards vs Pirates at the box office, sort of. Again because Baywatch is R-rated and Johnny Pirates is PG. And the budgets aren’t the same. Baywatch cost a lot less than Pirates to make. So they’re hoping for Pirates to come in at around $100 million over Memorial Day weekend and a good result for Baywatch would be closer to $50 million. So this isn’t exactly an even to even comparison. But the reason I’m making the comparison is because of these two movie stars. If Baywatch is a success, it would mean that The Rock would be part of yet another franchise in addition to Fast Furious and San Andreas and of course he has Jumanji coming out at the end of the year. There’s also a rumour that The Rock might cameo in Justice League. Scott Mendelson noted at Forbes yesterday that all of those properties are from four different studios – Universal, Paramount, Sony, and Warner Bros – which means that “[(The Rock) is spreading his star power all around Hollywood](”, a pretty f-cking rare position. He is, according to Scott Mendelson, “franchise Viagra” and also now “studio Viagra”. Basically The Rock doesn’t set production back by sleeping in every day. And a production assistant doesn’t have to be parked outside his house waiting for the light to come on before alerting the crew that work will be starting soon. In a [new interview with ELLE](, The Rock calls this the “fourth level” of life, where he’s at now. He’s now 45 years old. He’s divorced. His ex-wife runs his company. After he got over his ego: “There was a time in my twenties and thirties when I had an ego—a very healthy ego, as we all do—but I didn't do a very good job of managing it. It was very damaging to my marriage. I didn't even recognize the arrogance was there. I was extremely judgmental. Then all of a sudden, the divorce happens. We're very good friends today. It's ultramodern. It's hard for people to understand. But when they see it, it's inspiring. The arrogance and the ego is one of the key success inhibitors. Once I recognized it—Oh, wow, you've been a real asshole all these years—then I was able to start from zero again and build back into the man I am today.” Who takes his work very seriously – which goes without saying because work SHOULD be taken seriously – but who also doesn’t take himself too seriously. And that’s the difference. Like, in the same interview, The Rock talks about shaving his entire body. This requires a can and a half of shaving cream and 35 minutes in total. Also he lost his virginity in the back of a car and the cops busted him. But… he still might run for President. “It's something that I gave my word that I would consider. We've had a lot of internal conversations, and I have a great team around me that continues to grow. I have a lot of friends in politics on both sides. And as the people continue to respectfully inquire about it, I'll respectfully consider it.” One day, a guy who’s told us about shaving his body and losing his virginity in the backseat might run for President. And all of that would have been part of the plan. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 5:14 PM [Johnny Depp on the hustle]( [Johnny Depp at the LA premiere of Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, May 18, 2017]( You know what just occurred to me because I’m slow? Pirates 5 opens next weekend. You know what else opens next weekend? Baywatch. It’s [Johnny Depp]( vs [Dwayne The Rock Johnson](. Sort of? Sort of, because Baywatch is R-rated. So it’s not exactly an even game. Pirates is also an established movie franchise with banked audience familiarity from four previous installments. Baywatch, of course, has the familiarity – but on television; it has to prove that it can make the jump from small to big screen. Still. Still. Johnny Depp was the biggest movie star in the world a decade ago. And The Rock is the biggest movie star in the world now. And they’re going head to head. Don’t you love that storyline? We’ll get to The Rock in the next post. Let’s focus right now, though it won’t be as fun, on Johnny. Last week, The Hollywood Reporter called Johnny a “[star in crisis](. This week he’s been smiling on red carpets and on talk shows and having his team leak stories to PEOPLE about how he’s “[taking work seriously](. Last night was the Hollywood premiere. Yesterday he was on Ellen and Jimmy Kimmel Live. So he’s out there hustling, for himself, for that Disney money. How’s that working out for him? Well, I suppose the MiniVan Majority is enjoying it? I imagine they watched his interview on Ellen and found it titillating when Ellen asked him about his body parts and his ass? And that they probably wouldn’t hold it against him that Ellen eventually had to throw out all the questions because he sucks at the game? Because he’s either trying too hard to look like he’s not trying because that’s what Johnny Depp still thinks constitutes “cool”. Which is how you know that he’s out of touch. You know what’s cool now? Nerds are cool. Trying and caring at the same time is cool. See Hamilton, by Lin-Manuel Miranda. There’s nothing wrong with appealing to the MiniVan Majority. The MiniVan Majority has given Johnny Depp a career – and a lot of money that he’s pissed away. The problem with Johnny Depp, the disconnect with Johnny Depp, is that he plays like he’s esoteric – the tiresome eccentricity, the tiresome “outsider” attitude, the tiresome “rebel” dressing and posing – when what sustains him is actually the mainstream. You can’t get any more mainstream than BECOMING A RIDE AT DISNEYLAND. So when he shows up on Kimmel like he’s the ultimate rogue, it actually just reads, to everyone outside the MiniVan Majority, like he’s the ultimate cliché. Now that we know that you spend $30K a month flying your private bottles of wine around the world and have over 40 cars and your own island in the Caribbean, who else is going to believe your nostalgia about playing dive bars when you first moved to Hollywood and selling ballpoint pens in a f-cking parking lot no matter how many hats with holes you wear. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 4:30 PM [Everything, Everything is everything]( [Amandla Stenberg and Nick Robinson at the 2017 MTV Movie And TV Awards at The Shrine Auditorium on May 7, 2017 in Los Angeles, California]( If you’ve read anything I’ve written about [Riverdale](, you know that I’m basically still a teenage girl. Everything, Everything is the movie I wish I had when I was actually going through those awkward, hormonal and formative years. It’s a clever teen romance that captures those years with so much authenticity and originality, I had a silly grin on my face for the whole movie – well, when I wasn’t tearing up. [Amandla Stenberg]( plays Maddie, an 18-year-old who has never left her house due to a medical condition called Severe Combined Immune Deficiency aka SCID. When the film starts, Maddie only has her overprotective mother, played by [Anika Noni Rose](, her caregiver Carla (Ana De La Reguera) and her books to keep her company. Maddie’s race has nothing to do with this plot. Maddie is smart, introverted, delicate and desired – things black girls aren’t usually allowed to be on screen. Everything, Everything, based on the massively successful YA novel written by Nicola Yoon, is a story about falling in love, grief, family and forgiveness. Those themes are universal and yet we rarely get to see actresses who look like Amandla play the girl who falls in love. The only two other characters I’ve mentioned are also women of colour. One day, hopefully, we will get to a point where I don’t have to mention when a film is led by people of colour. Since we aren’t there yet, it is imperative to note that one of the reasons this movie is so special is because Maddie, the character, was written by a black woman and another black woman, Stella Meghie, directed this film. When I wrote about [the movie’s first trailer]( in February, I noted that the film’s premise may not have been the most groundbreaking or that it might seem puerile to pin hopes of social importance on a sappy teen drama but that this story, with this specific cast, is important. To see a black girl be romantically pursued and loved is radical and a reinvention of a genre we know so well. Think about what seeing Amandla Stenberg, nailing this part and rocking her natural hair, means to the insecure black girls growing up around girls who look like the Pretty Little Liars cast. It would have meant the world to me. Now, onto a serious and crucial topic: how goddamn dreamy [Nick Robinson]( is. Listen, I was ready to fall in love with Olly right alongside Maddie. I was prepared to swoon. Teen romances are my whole sh-t. I live for this stuff. A black girl as the beguiling girl next door meets an emo, skateboarding, HOT outsider who falls for her instantly and they pretty much spend the rest of the movie engaged in awkward flirting? SIGN ME UP. I know that it might seem impossible for me to be objective about Everything, Everything since it seems tailor-made for me (and, you know, teen girls everywhere) so I won’t pretend to be impartial. I loved everything about Amandla and Nick’s chemistry. Together, they nailed the apprehension and adoration that happens when teenagers fall for each other through bedroom windows and instant messaging. When they finally meet? It’s magic. OK, that was incredibly cheesy and I apologize but I can’t f-cking help it. The way Nick Robinson looks at Amandla Stenberg is the way every girl dreams of being looked at. The kid is a star. Everything, Everything opens today but I was fortunate enough to go see a screening of the film a couple weeks ago and right after the credits rolled, I jotted down some notes. The three words I wrote down after the screening were whimsical, magical and joyful. Yesterday, Amandla Stenberg posted this on Instagram: [Everything Everything starts playing in theaters tomorrow. Go see it for black girl whimsy and joy 🌀 Go see it for the magical realism 🔮 Go see it for the dreamy pastel colors and outfits 👟👟🎒 Go see it for the lyrical cinematography 🎥 Go see it for natural hair and black beauty 👑 Go see it for elevated smarter teen romance 💏 Go see it for the plot twist ;) Go see it for nuanced black mother daughter relationships👩 👧 Go see it for the sick soundtrack including @theinternet ❤️ @macdemarco ❤️ @alabama_shakes ❤️ @kehlani ❤️ and me! Go see it because it was created by black women. @stellameghie 🌹@nicolayoon Go see it for the normalization of blackness. Go see it because we demand to be represented. Go see it because we #INFILTRATE Go see it to have fun! These are the reasons why Everything Everything is so important to me. I hope you love it as much as I do.]( A post shared by amandla (@amandlastenberg) on May 18, 2017 at 1:36pm PDT She did my job for me. What else can I say? You should go see Everything, Everything for all the reasons Amandla lists but if you need a little more convincing, what Amandla does so well in this post is articulate the charm of Stella Meghie’s directing. If you have a second, [this profile on Meghie in the LA Times]( about she’s “scamming” her way through Hollywood is worth a read. The way Meghie lets this story play out on screen is so jubilant and bright— I’m talking literal bright colours—it’s like she’s slapping you in the face with Maddie’s quirky personality, in the best way. Instead of the classic on-screen text bubbles to depict online conversations, Meghie creates the world in Maddie’s head where she and Olly are conversing in person, instead of through their phones. It unfolds brilliantly. We feel Maddie’s confinement but it never feels depressing – until the story breaks your heart all on its own. While at the same time heartbreaking (as a verb) for the teenager who’s never been to prom or sat in the cafeteria with her friends, there’s also a complete understanding of how Maddie coped for so long and still turned out so delightful. To callback Amandla Stenberg’s post, the cinematography IS lyrical. There are so many dreamy pastel colours and great outfits. The plot twist is great (even if you see it coming). Also the mother/daughter relationship is nuanced and expertly played by Stenberg and Noni-Rose. Everything, Everything is everything I wanted it to be. Black women DID THAT. Please, go see it. I’m going again this weekend. The teenager in me wants to see it about five more times. Attached - Amandla and Nick at the 2017 MTV Movie And TV Awards earlier this month. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 3:46 PM [Michael Fassbender in Alien: Covenant]( [Michael Fassbender attends the Sir Ridley Scott Hand and Footprint Ceremony at TCL Chinese Theatre IMAX on May 17, 2017 in Hollywood, California]( If you have ever wanted to see [Michael Fassbender]( kiss himself, then Alien: Covenant is the movie for you. If, however, you don’t like bodily fluids spraying everywhere, then Alien: Covenant is probably not the movie for you. [Ridley Scott]( returns to his Alien universe to redo Prometheus in a movie that is, on the whole, more cohesive and tolerable than Prometheus—a supremely frustrating movie that is half great, half sci-fi bullsh*t—but that still shows some problems Scott hasn’t yet solved in the franchise. When it’s working, though, Covenant is Ridley Scott at his best: nervy, tense, claustrophobic, and scary as hell. Covenant picks up ten years after Prometheus, and if you haven’t seen Prometheus it’s still going to work, but Covenant is definitely better for knowing what all went on in the previous movie. Scott is not ignoring Prometheus or completely remaking it, he’s building on the good stuff and pretty much dropping the rest (the continuity is a little wonky: don’t dwell). The eponymous Covenant is a colony ship carrying thousands of passengers and embryos to a new planet—it is impossible to ignore that this is the same setup as Passengers. In fact, Covenant has a similar space catastrophe that results in an early awakening, though this time it’s the crew (James Franco has a hilarious cameo). The crew awakes to find that their ship has taken a hit and needs repairs, and while space-walking to fix some sh*t no one really cares about, a rogue transmission is picked up by the Covenant. It is immediately obvious that Scott doesn’t give a single f*ck about his human characters in Covenant—he cares so little he apparently did nothing to stop Katherine Waterston from getting [this haircut](. What Scott is most interested in is David (Fassbender), the android from Prometheus. Covenant begins with a prologue about his “birth”, and in the main action, we have two Fassbender robots: David and Walter, a next-gen model meant to “improve” on David’s too-realistic behaviors and thoughts. Between David and Walter and the evolving Xenomorphs, Scott is prodding at something about creators and their creations and the uncontrollable impulse we have to destroy our gods. That’s good stuff, but Scott can’t quite balance his interest in David’s experiments with creation and the must-have action beats to satisfy a general audience. It’s not as uneven as Prometheus—and it generally makes WAY more sense—but Covenant still has a momentum problem. The beginning is slow—there’s just not enough investment in the crew as individuals to make it interesting—but then the first-wave attack starts up and it’s BRUTAL. Like if you’re squeamish, it’ll be a problem. But then there’s the middle part where David teaches Walter to play the recorder, which is a lovely scene in and of itself, but a jarring tonal contrast to the people running around screaming and being eaten. David’s Dr. Moreau Space-Island doesn’t really jive with the Covenant crew succumbing to their own stupidity and getting devoured, and the only way to make it fit is to make the crew REALLY dumb. They’re not quite Prometheus dumb, but it’s close. There’s also a problem with Scott and repetition. He goes back to his chest-bursting roots, which is slightly at issue—you’re never going to top the [original chest-burster]( but he actually tries it here, and there’s something a little sad about watching a filmmaker of Scott’s caliber repeat himself in this way. (Maybe it is time to pass the torch to [someone else](.) But few filmmakers can do tension and body horror the way Scott can, so even though it feels familiar, the horror aspects of Covenant are top-notch. You certainly won’t be bored, between the action and bonkers side-trip into David’s nightmare zoo. At this point, Scott has done everything he can with the idea of aliens attacking people in space, and he’s clearly over the rape metaphor—though the imagery lingers—and would rather make existentialist space movies about creation and the inevitability of destruction. But when you have “Ridley Scott” and “aliens” in a movie, people have certain expectations. Scott can still deliver, though there’s a whiff of the perfunctory about Covenant, especially the ending (which is clearly telegraphed). But when he’s focusing on David and Walter and the creator-destructor bond, Covenant sings. It’s weird and won’t be for everyone, but Alien: Covenant is fun, strange, gross, kinda boring a little bit, and also SCARY. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 3:11 PM [The Taylor & Joe timeline]( [Taylor Swift/Joe Alwyn]( It’s almost as though [Taylor Swift]( knew that Katy Perry would be releasing her answer to Bad Blood this week. And decided to take over the conversation. With a new boyfriend. I wonder if it feels even more satisfying to know that Swish Swish is not a great song. So. About Taylor and [Joe Alwyn]( – [E! News]( has been trying to put together the timeline of when they may have started dating. Previously [I mentioned]( that Taylor went to a screening of Joe’s movie, Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk, back in November. A month prior to that though, she and Joe were actually hanging out in New York at the private Kings Of Leon show. Here’s video from that night. You can see Joe walking behind Martha Hunt: Here is the video. Joe behind Martha (min 0:40). The day Taylor attended the private KOL concert in NYC, oct 2016 [pic.twitter.com/nmwsZUMwU8]( — Alice (@nicolekidsman) [May 19, 2017]( That was October 12, just a month after it was revealed that Taylor and Tom Hiddleston had broken up. And…she probably broke up with him? Because it’s not like she was sitting around being sad and missing him. She was, clearly, already on her way to being into someone else. Which doesn’t line up with the standard storyline where Taylor’s relationships are concerned. She’s always positioned as the one who’s wronged, or left behind. And to be fair, she herself contributes to that narrative – see all her songs. But it was Taylor who got over Calvin Harris real quick with Tom Hiddleston. And now we know she moved on from Tom to Joe pretty quick too. Taylor Swift, maneater heartbreaker? I’m not mad at that. I would not be mad at it if that’s what she’ll be singing about on the new album. Like instead of “I know what you did” songs, I’d love to hear some “I know what I did” songs. Instead of “this is how you hurt me” lyrics, maybe some “I know I hurt you…but you were so thirsty” tracks? Every Taylor Swift album comes with a certain Taylor Swift personality. With 1989 she was all about the squad and her friends. With the next one, what would happen if she re-introduced herself to us as a love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of player? [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 2:35 PM [Solange’s letter to her teenage self]( [Solange covers Teen Vogue music issue]( Teen Vogue is doing the most. [We’ve been telling you this](. You know. Led by editor-in-chief Elaine Welteroth, the youngest editor in Conde Nast history, Teen Vogue has been at the forefront of political commentary in the sh-tstorm that is Trump’s America. Teen Vogue has been consistently showcasing #blackgirlmagic and representing young people from marginalized communities. Teen Vogue is proving that girls can be smart, capable, informed AND dress well. What a concept. Their covers showcase the diversity we’re constantly calling for. Teen Vogue is doing THE MOST. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. This week, it gave us a piece of art by [Solange Knowles]( that is so powerful, relatable and affirming, I want to get every word tattooed on my body. Solange is on the cover of the magazine’s [music issue]( (Chance the Rapper and Paris Jackson also have their own covers of this issue) and her cover story is not a traditional feature. Instead, Teen Vogue commissioned Solange to write a letter to her teenage self. Celebrity ‘letters to self’ are not uncommon. They pop up periodically on PEOPLE or in O Magazine. Solange’s letter is not full of generic advice or cutesy cautionary tales like “don’t date that boy on a bike!” Solange’s letter is a poetic, poignant display of self-awareness and self-assurance. I like to joke that I’m still a teenage girl at heart but this letter is not just a guide for teenagers, it’s a letter for anyone trying to figure out her sh-t. She had me at the first four words: there will be fear. From there, Solange makes you laugh, cry and nod your head vigorously in appreciation. Remember when Solange [told us that we belonged](? This is for anyone who needed the reminder. I could unpack every sentence of her letter but let’s start with this one: “the long way will become a theme in your life, but a journey you learn to love” Solange’s first universally acclaimed, hit album came just last year with [A Seat at the Table](. She was 30. She put out two studio albums and an EP before that, starting in 2002. You could call that the long way. Sure, she had access to producers because of her sister, the almighty Queen Bey, long may she reign, but Solange’s success did not come through nepotism, it came through hard work and the long way. You don’t have to be a teenager to learn from that lesson. Solange grew up a lot faster than most. Not only was she was raised fame-adjacent pretty much her whole life, at 17, Solange had her son. “seventeen will be the hardest year of your life. it will grow you up almost immediately. you will lose your best friend whom you love so much to gun violence in a single moment, and give birth to a new one within a year. you will be terrified, and it’s ok that you don’t know what the future holds. some people will count you out because of the decision you’ve made to bring another life into the world so young, but you made the decision out of love and will live with the decision in love.” This is the section that most outlets are picking up. “Solange talks being a teen mom!” These words are so beautiful—she says so much with so little—I’m just going to let them speak for themselves. My favourite part of Solange’s letter is her tribute to the Queen mother, Miss Tina, long may she reign. Solange and Beyoncé always speak about Miss Tina in reverent terms but this is another stunning tribute to the woman who gave us two of the great artists of a generation. “you realize watching a woman balance being a supportive mother, building a successful business from the ground up that was started in her garage, and giving back to the community will make you feel invincible and like the word “no” is just an echo in the universe that you'll never know. you often take her for granted, but you know with every joint in your bones that she is a phenomenon and you strive to make her proud. you should thank her out loud more, too; tell her you value her. roll your eyes and your neck less. it’s not as cute as you think. tell her you appreciate all that she does, for she makes the impossible look effortless.” “It’s not as cute as you think.” I need to go back in time and tattoo this on my teenage self’s forehead. One of the things I love about Solange’s letter is the subtle moments like this one where she shows off her humour. I laughed out loud at the entire stages section. Who didn’t go through a Brandon Boyd phase? I’ll leave you with Solange’s perfect closing words. How is she good at all the things? “there will be pain, there will be doubt there will be beauty, there will be the unknown. there will be so many moments of joy and delight that the whole universe will feel painted in hues of amber and wonder. there will be times you are so sad you can’t lift your head. and there will be times you are so happy that the sensation of life knocks you down. but most importantly, there will be you. a whole, whole lot of it. and you will feel good about who she is and who she is still becoming. Read Solange’s full letter [here](. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 2:12 PM [Privacy Policy]( - [Unsubscribe](