Newsletter Thursday, May 18, 2017

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Thursday, May 18, 2017 [Intro for May 18, 2017]( [Will Smith attends the 'Ismael's Ghosts (Les Fantomes d'Ismael)' screening and Opening Gala during the 70th annual Cannes Film Festival at Palais des Festivals on May 17, 2017 in Cannes, France]( Dear Gossips, When it was first announced that Will Smith would be a member of the Cannes jury, [most people reacted]( by pointing out that Will’s never had a film at Cannes. He’s stunted a movie in Cannes (Shark Tale) but his films have never been part of the festival. He is, however, one of the most popular movie stars in the world. And yesterday, on the first day of the 70th Cannes Film Festival, Will Smith was the major highlight. And the headlines are almost all the same. According to The Hollywood Reporter, [Will Smith Is Having More Fun Than Anyone In Cannes](. Blavity said that [Will Smith Is Living His Best Life At Cannes 2017](. And Vulture, obviously my favourite, declared that [Will Smith Is Already Having The Time Of His Life At Cannes](. That article was written by Jada Yuan who also recently wrote the two excellent Vulture profiles on Elisabeth Moss and Aziz Ansari. Jada noted that Will made this jury presser the most entertaining she’s attended in a long time. Read Jada Yuan’s report about Will at the jury press conference yesterday and you’ll feel like you were there in that you won’t be able to not smile. You can’t not smile. Because of how familiar we are with Will and his charisma. You can totally picture him joking around with the media, with the festival staff, even with the security guards. When he’s asked about his festival wardrobe, you can hear him telling reporters that he originally wanted to go full “South of France, Cannes sexy”, blow past Kirsten Dunst’s 28 outfits and bring his number to 32… until the heat came on. And then there’s this, Will subtly addressing those who might doubt his qualifications as a juror. This is excellent: “I grew up in West Philadelphia — yes, born and raised, yes, thank you. West Philadelphia is a long way from the Cannes Film Festival, and the Cannes Film Festival is the ultimate prestige in cinema. So I’m excited to be here, and, more than anything, learn. When this level of artist comes together you actually never know what will happen and what will be created just in the conversations and the interactions. I’m actually here very selfishly.” That’s not to say Will can’t be assertive though. As you may have heard, one of the most contentious issues coming out of Cannes is the [Netflix situation](. Jury president Pedro Almodovar read a prepared statement during the presser yesterday that seemed to support the festival’s decision going forward to not include films in competition if they don’t have a proper theatrical release. Will, however, perhaps given that he has a Netflix film coming out in December (Bright), [spoke up to defend Netflix](, its contribution to the artistic community and its impact on a new generation of cinephiles: "I have a 16-year- old and an 18-year-old and a 24-year-old at home. They go to the movies twice a week, and they watch Netflix. There’s very little cross between going to the cinema and watching what they watch on Netflix." He added: "In my home, Netflix has had absolutely no effect on what they go to the movie theater to watch, go to the cinema to be humbled by certain images and stay home for others — no cross. In my home Netflix has been nothing but an absolute benefit — [they] watch films they otherwise wouldn’t have seen. It has broadened my children’s global cinematic comprehension." That is excellent too. It’s not open warfare, he’s not saying the decision is stupid, he’s certainly not directly challenging his jury president, but he also can’t sell out his own partnership and manages to defend it without creating any additional tension. Later on, at the gala, Pedro fondly introduced Will as the last jury member, where he apparently received the loudest applause. This, of course, was after Will delighted photographers, fans, and other celebrities outside the Palais when he arrived. They’re in love with him over there. But it’s only day one. And Cannes will burn you out more than any other festival. Unless, of course, you’re the Fresh Prince… of Cannes (sorry! I had to!). If anyone can keep this up over 10 days, it’s him. Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 12:59 PM [Single for Cannes?]( [Leonardo DiCaprio/Nina Agdal]( [Leonardo DiCaprio]( and [Nina Agdal]( have been together since last year, around this time. Nina just turned 25 years old in March. Guess what? They broke just broke up. [PEOPLE reports]( that it was a few days ago. So the streak is alive: No Leo bonafide has made it past 25 as his girlfriend. Same thing happened to Kelly Rohrbach. She and Leo ended also soon after she turned 25 and definitely well before she turned because otherwise that would be disgusting. In Leo’s world of love, a woman beyond 25 seems to be untouchable? Like that’s how exclusive it is, the opportunity to be with Leo: not only do you have to be a model, which makes you a rarity already, but you have to be a model between 18 (to make it legal) and 25. Oh and white. As for the timing, well, if Leo and Nina just broke up a few days ago, and Cannes just kicked off yesterday, that totally makes sense too. Leo hardly ever skips Cannes. And it’s always best to be single in Cannes, to check out the fresh model selections flown in by all the billionaires and the agencies, and rub up against three or four, at least, every night at the parties, on the yachts. He’ll pick through a few for a few months, maybe a year, before Victoria’s Secret sends him the next bonafide, aged appropriately. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 7:58 PM [I don’t think I can watch this movie]( [Jake Gyllenhaal arrives at Nice airport during the 70th annual Cannes Film Festival at on May 18, 2017 in Cannes, France]( Netflix has two films at Cannes and Netflix has been the source of all the bitching at the festival because they’re insisting on theatrical release for eligibility; the new rules take effect next year. If they were in place this year, Okja, Bong Joon-ho’s highly anticipated new film, would not be included. A new trailer for Okja was just released today. It’s about a young girl, Mija, and her best friend, Okja, an animal that looks like a cross between a hippo and a pig. Okja gets stolen by [Tilda Swinton]( who basically wants to eat her. I watched this without a warning so now I’m making you watch it but at least you’re getting a warning. Are you a mess? I am STILL a mess and I watched it over an hour ago! How will I make it through two hours? I don’t know if I can see this movie. Not because it’s bad, but because I will be a disruption to the other people in the theatre with my sobbing! This is what’s going to have to happen: Sarah will have to see it and then she will have to tell me if it’s safe for me. And what parts to avoid and go pee. Thank you for your sacrifice, Sarah! Attached – [Jake Gyllenhaal]( arriving in Nice today ahead of Okja’s premiere. Looks like Jake is the ringmaster in the film. Like a Caeser Flickerman type from The Hunger Games? This is how I’m reading it. And I feel like I would need that if I were to see this movie, a break from the sobbing. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 6:58 PM [The dead speak in Twin Peaks, but evil is excused]( [Twin Peaks]( SPOILERS FOR ORIGINAL TWIN PEAKS The new Twin Peaks begins this weekend. Before it begins, let’s revisit the original. The original was a show that charmed you with its weirdness. The town of Twin Peaks seems populated almost entirely by oddballs, and the oppressive presence of the primordial Pacific Northwest forest looms over everything, lending the town and the show about the town an atmosphere of remote mystery. From the moment he arrives, Special Agent Dale Cooper—himself a strange blend of sharp investigator and dreamy romantic—seems absorbed into the quirky fabric of the town. Cooper is a Sherlockian figure, a detective who uses dreams and visions as part of his method of inquiry, and who makes fantastic leaps of logic that still bring him to vital clues and understanding. But a television investigator is only as good as the crime he investigates, and Cooper is matched by Laura Palmer, arguably the most famous corpse in television history. Laura is beautiful even in death, wrapped in her plastic shroud, her blue-grey visage artfully sprinkled with sand and framed by her blonde hair, an image calling upon centuries of paintings of [the Madonna](. She’s the homecoming queen who volunteers for Meals On Wheels and tutors a developmentally challenged boy; everyone loves Laura, she’s such a nice girl. She also has a cocaine habit, cheats on her boyfriend, and poses for porno magazines. Laura has a double-life, a second skin in which she is a wild child, a party girl, a seductress. She is Trouble and Troubled, her two sides seemingly irreconcilable. She is the definition of the Madonna/whore dichotomy, and she’s also ground zero for the “dead girl” trope, in which a dead woman is the entry point into a narrative. The dead girl trope is rampant in television, particularly procedurals, and it’s especially damaging because it renders murdered and violated female bodies nothing more than a spectacle. Laura Palmer is a Dead Girl, but she differs in one major way from the trope: She has a voice. Through her tapes, her diary, and the recollections of those who knew her, Laura remains present in Twin Peaks. Cooper’s investigation reveals so much information about Laura, her character is built not through performance but through story, as each different piece of her divided life comes into view. Twin Peaks gives Laura her due, never treating her as a mere spectacle, and neither Cooper nor the show itself ever judges her. There is no implication that she “earns” her death because she didn’t conform to the nuclear family ideal she presented as a façade. Twin Peaks is empathetic to Laura, and so by extension is its audience, but ultimately it betrays her by laying the evil done to her at supernatural feet. One of the most fun aspects of Twin Peaks is the latent paranormal vibe that permeates the show, from Dale Cooper’s dreams and visions to Log Lady’s arboreal messages, to Nadine’s super-strength, to the owls. But what starts out as a bonus mystery—just what the hell is going on with this town?—turns into the show’s greatest weakness. Laura’s truth is that she was being sexually abused by her father, Leland, who ultimately murdered her. This is a stunning, horrifying revelation, and had show creators David Lynch and Mark Frost left it at this devastating but all too believable explanation, the mystery of Laura Palmer’s death would be one of television’s great tragedies, instead of a sour disappointment. But Leland is pardoned in the end, because he was possessed by the evil spirit BOB, and BOB made him do it. Dale Cooper absolves Leland of his guilt because he couldn’t control what was happening. This is the ultimate betrayal of Laura, rendering her abuse and murder as mere consequences to demonic possession. Leland becomes the real victim, Laura, merely the accident. Twin Peaks goes to huge lengths to personify and make known Laura, to not treat her as a prop, but then sweeps her aside to focus on Leland and pardoning his actions because of BOB. The evil turned out to be supernatural all along, and a human abuser is forgiven. This conclusion betrays a show built on metaphor and hidden meanings by turning what seems to be a metaphor into a literal being. At first, BOB seems to represent the hidden discord of the Palmer family—Laura’s mother, Sarah, has tortuous visions of BOB, as does her cousin, Maddy. The Palmer home seems infected by some evil, which suggests a connection between Laura’s home and secret lives. Now imagine if BOB really was just a metaphor, if the big reveal was that Leland was the evil all along, full stop, that it was just him, an abusive and twisted man who terrorized his seemingly perfect family behind closed doors. That is a real evil, one that exists in our real world, and then Laura Palmer is not a victim of supernatural circumstance but a reminder that evil can happen in full view of the community. Twin Peaks gives voice to its victim, only to take away her message. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 5:10 PM [Smutty Tingles]( [I NEED THIS](!!! (Dlisted) I’m a dirty perv so, for me, “[magical blanket](” means something other than how Ian Somerhalder intended (Cele|bitchy) [Katy Perry’s head on a platter]( (Just Jared) [Is this the downside of having too many jobs](? (TooFab) I didn’t love [the feathers on Julianne Moore’s dress](. But she did bring the drama last night (Go Fug Yourself) Remember what I said yesterday about Brad Pitt’s [lying down angle]( (Hollywood Tuna) I don’t care about the breasts. [I’m too offended by the hair](. (Popoholic) Celebrity Real Estate: [Chris Rock’s house is Brooklyn]( (Evil Beet) [Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel hold hands in New York]( (Pop Sugar) [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 4:46 PM [JLO in the bathroom]( [Jennifer Lopez on the set of Shades of Blue in New York, May 17, 2017]( [Jennifer Lopez]( was at the Robin Hood Foundation gala the other night in New York. [Page Six reports]( that when she went to use the washroom, four security guards blocked other patrons from coming in so that she could be in there alone. So people had to queue for a while, waiting until she was done. And your immediate reaction is… What a goddamn selfish asshole, who does she think she is. And I understand, I really do. But I also have seen this happen, as Page Six explains: A spy said that hot new couple J-Rod needed the security in the crowd of 3,700: “So many people were coming over to them, they had to have it.” A pal further explained, “It’s really awkward when someone asks for a selfie when you walk out of a toilet stall.” I’ve been at a premiere, or a party, or a restaurant, where fans will spot a celebrity, wait for them to go to the washroom, and follow them in…to get a selfie or start a conversation. It really is awkward. Awkwardness, you might argue, won’t kill you. And maybe awkward is better than the rudeness of having your bodyguards prevent people from coming in to pee with you. But how many people peeing with you and then getting a selfie is an acceptable number? Let’s say JLO goes to pee like a normal person and doesn’t have the bodyguards outside holding off the riffraff. And there are three or four people in the washroom. And two of them ask for selfies. The other two see it go down that way and they too want a selfie. Then more people walk in the bathroom to pee…but they put off their peeing when they see that JLO’s set up a selfie booth in the ladies and they want in on that too. A dozen selfies later and… is it still rude to have the bodyguards outside? What’s your call? Here’s JLO on the set of Shades Of Blue yesterday. At one point she was Facetiming ARod. Did you hear he’s [joining Shark Tank as a guest judge](? What are the chances that happens for him if he’s not dating her? This f-cking guy. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 3:26 PM [The Cannes princess dress]( [Elle Fanning attends the 'Ismael's Ghosts (Les Fantomes d'Ismael)' screening and Opening Gala during the 70th annual Cannes Film Festival at Palais des Festivals on May 17, 2017 in Cannes, France]( You know what makes me crazy? When people make fashion calls without considering what the event is. An outfit for the Oscars is not an outfit for the VMAs. The Emmys and the MET Gala are not the same. You can wear the most beautiful classic ball gown but if you see one at the MET Gala when the theme is in honour of Rei Kawakubo and you tell me it’s your Best Dressed, I will not want to talk fashion with you ever again. That said, Cannes is the perfect place for a classic ball gown. And also tacky excess. Cannes is one of those weird hybrid carpets where elegance is encouraged but also? Cheesy glamour is also accepted. That’s what makes Cannes so hilarious. They’re all about the prestige of cinema. But it’s also happening among all kinds of euro trash. Which is why Cannes always feels like the Oscars and the Vienna Opera Ball had a baby. Anyway, here’s [Elle Fanning]( at the opening night gala in Cannes and it’s perfect for Cannes. I am here for this princess dress. It’s custom Vivienne Westwood, made specifically for her, with a unicorn hand-painted on the back. [VOGUE]( has more details about the design. I don’t want to see this at the MET Gala. But in Cannes? This is exactly what you do in Cannes. The dress I’d wear, however, is the one she was in today. Even though it’s in baby blue, not my favourite. But how could you deny this? The sleeves to the elbows, the red lips dotted all over, the selectively placed doily-ing all the edges, and even the ridiculous shoes – really really great styling here. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 2:42 PM [How Taylor hid Joe]( [Taylor Swift/Joe Alwyn]( Now that we know that [Taylor Swift]( [has been dating Joe Alwyn]( undercover for the last few months, we’re getting more details about how they’ve been hiding. Because all these Taylor sources managed to keep her sh-t tight all this time…and suddenly they’re willing to go into detail? [E! News]( reports exclusively that: "Taylor went to great lengths to keep their relationship private and out of the spotlight while [she and Alwyn] have been getting to know one another," our insider explained. "She has made several trips to see him, but always flies in and out on a private jet with lots of security and has been flying into very small and remote airports.” The source added, "If she was seen in England, she made sure everyone thought it was a work trip. Taylor and Joe have really tried to be on lockdown and have spent most of their time together in private locations where they could get to know each other without the pressure of a public relationship and people making judgement calls." The source also mentioned that Taylor is “bummed” now that she and [Joe]( have been busted. Well that’s interesting because Harry Styles is promoting his album and Katy Perry was also just confirmed as the new judge on American Idol, which was already a shrug and has now dropped even lower on nobody cares list. But, yeah, sure, we’ll go with “bummed”, perhaps as a new euphemism for “smug”. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:59 PM [Wonderstruck in Cannes]( [Michelle Williams, director Todd Haynes, Julianne Moore, Jaden Michael and Millicent Simmonds attends Wonderstruck' Photocall during the 70th annual Cannes Film Festival at Palais des Festivals on May 18, 2017 in Cannes, France]( Have you seen Far From Heaven? I just checked – Far From Heaven is 15 year old this year. I loved Far From Heaven. Like many others, it’s my favourite Todd Hayne’s film. Todd Haynes’s last film was Carol which was not nominated for Best Picture and was considered one of the major snubs of the Oscars in 2016. Carol screened in Cannes. And today, Todd Haynes’s latest film, Wonderstruck, is on the festival schedule. Reviews so far have been mixed. Most critics seem to agree that, as usual, Todd has made a movie that is gorgeous to look at. Some feel, however, that the story might not be quite there. Vanity Fair called it “beautiful” but also “twee”, which is exactly how I would describe the first clip that was released last week: The best part of that preview is that little girl’s expressive face. Her name is Millicent Simmonds. She’s deaf. As are an “unprecedented number” of other actors cast in various roles in the film. Millicent was at the photocall today with the Wonderstruck cast and signed a message of gratitude to Todd and the rest of the team that included [Julianne Moore]( and [Michelle Williams](. Deaf actors are also an underrepresented group in Hollywood. And Millicent’s involvement in the film is a great move towards, hopefully, increased inclusion. Obviously I love Michelle Williams’ outfit here at the photocall, the strong shoulders, the collar, the structure of the dress. And I don’t hate Julianne’s loose and baggy green dress either. She is always a knockout in green. As usual though, when it comes to Julianne, there’s always that shoe problem. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:36 PM [Privacy Policy]( - [Unsubscribe](