Newsletter Monday, January 16, 2017

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Monday, January 16, 2017 [Intro for January 16, 2017] [Halle Berry] Dear Gossips, I went down a Marilyn Monroe internet black hole yesterday. She’s still making headlines, this time because new footage of one of her most memorable moments has surfaced. We allllll know the image: Marilyn in a white dress, the skirt blowing up around her, exposing her. It happening during filming of The Seven Year Itch. And [The New York Times] this weekend published a piece about the man, an ordinary citizen, who went out that night with his camera to see what he could get. Hundreds of men were gathered on the streets of New York to perv at the sexiest woman alive. As A.V. Club notes, the footage “[reminds us (that) dudes have always been kind of gross]”. The NYT also reminds us what that shot cost her. Marilyn was married to Joe DiMaggio at the time. And along with all those dudes, he also showed up to set that day. Joe was obsessive and possessive. And he was so angry at seeing his wife being leered at by so many men that they ended up having a huge fight that resulted in bruises all over her face. Marilyn Monroe was born under the sign of the Tiger. She is suuuuuch a Tiger. The Tiger experiences luck in the extremes. When luck is high, it is the highest. When luck is low, it is the lowest. The Tiger’s luck analysis for the upcoming Year of the Rooster will be posted on Friday. Today we focus on the Horse. Blessed by two love stars, romance possibilities could be abundant for Horses during the Year of the Rooster. It is a good year for a wedding. There are also two food stars shining on Horses. There may be a lot to eat. In Chinese culture, food luck is sometimes even more desirable than love luck. If you have lots of food, it means you’re comfortable, you’re secure. To offset those four lucky stars though, Horses might be affected by two sh-tty ones. So while your love life and your food life may be smooth, it’s best not to begin big projects during this Year of the Rooster. Take this time to enjoy the love and all the eating. It’s a year of appreciation rather than a year of aggression. The exception to this is the 1966 Horse. The 1966 Horse could benefit from a benefactor this year. Halle Berry is a 1966 Horse. She’s been pretty quiet the last couple of years. Am curious to see if we’ll be hearing more from her. And if she’ll fall in love again. 1930 Horses must be very careful about health during the Year of the Rooster. 1942 Horses might enjoy some money luck. A sum of money could be on the way. 1954 Horses will do a lot this year. But the yield might not match the effort. So keep your body strong and the late nights to a minimum. You’re too busy to miss out on sleep and rest. 1978 Horses are surrounded by love this year. Accept it, enjoy it, and be grateful for it. Have a good time. 1990 Horses are advised to avoid high risk activities. And celebrate your birthday. Don’t hide away on your birthday. Be with friends and family. This is not the year for a low key birthday. Overall for Horses, there could be a lot of love on the way during the Year of the Rooster. Love everywhere, wherever you go. Not just romantic love but all kinds of love. Be smart about your friends though. They can be allies in the future. But if you’re not responsible with their affection, you will lose opportunities. In August and September, try not to take on too much. Relax and reset. In November and December, watch your spending and be careful of investments. In December through to January 2018, be vigilant about your health. And get a full checkup during this time. Tomorrow: the Snake. That’s Taylor Swift. Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 12:39 PM [Becoming obsessed with Zoe & Karl] [Zoe Kravitz and Karl Glusman attend ELLE's Annual Women In Television Celebration 2017 at Chateau Marmont on January 14, 2017 in Los Angeles, California] The cast of the upcoming Big Little Lies attended the ELLE Annual Women in Television event together on Saturday. Have you read the book? [Zoe Kravitz] plays Bonnie, who is married to Reese Witherspoon’s character’s ex-husband. Zoe was at the party with her boyfriend, [Karl Glusman]. Back in October, when Zoe and Karl [first stepped out together], several of you emailed to ask whether or not I’d seen him in Gaspar Noe’s Love. No. Not at the time. But, um, the way you described his… performance… in the film (and how you basically see his dick before you see his face), well, I had to know. So I ordered it up on the Netflix. It’s not a great movie. But I appreciated the f-ck out of it. So much that I actually made Kathleen watch it. And 10 minutes into the movie she too was appreciating the f-ck out of it. I don’t want to spoil it for you but, like, if you ever wanted to imagine what it’s like between Zoe and Karl, Love will help. Since then, because I now think I have some idea about Karl’s … moves… I’ve been getting more and more into Zoe and Karl. It might be a problem. Instagram posts like this don’t help my problem: [📸: @karlglusman • 🎞• #tublyfe] A photo posted by Zoë Kravitz (@zoeisabellakravitz) on Jan 10, 2017 at 11:50am PST Although I do wish he’d stop calling her “wifey”: [🌴Wifey🦅] A photo posted by karl glusman (@karlglusman) on Jan 10, 2017 at 11:01am PST [Wifey pt. II] A photo posted by karl glusman (@karlglusman) on Jan 10, 2017 at 12:35pm PST That said, this totally feeds into my assumption that they are super intense about each other. Like explosive chemistry. And I feel like he, in particular, can’t get enough of her. At least according to his Instagram. Which only adds to my growing obsession. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 8:41 PM [Ben Affleck in Live By Night] [Ben Affleck attends the premiere of 'Live by Night' at the Cinema UGC Normandie in Paris on January 16, 2017] Unlike [The Accountant], which is dumb in a coked-up Eighties action movie way, Live By Night is dumb in a self-important Oscar bait kind of way. [Ben Affleck] tries to make a movie that both pays homage to classic gangster films—The Godfather but for the Irish mob except that movie already exists and it’s called The Departed—and allows him to play the most Noble And Suffering Anti-Hero in gangster cinema history. Adapted by Affleck from a novel by Dennis Lehane, it’s possible some of this is Lehane’s fault, since he wrote the story. Or it’s possible that every choice Affleck made as a writer, director, and actor is calculated for maximum ego boost. You can tell this a novel adaptation because there is near-constant voice-over throughout the movie. It’s a common problem with adaptations, especially of novels as writers struggle to synthesize the internal monologue aspect of novel writing with the visual medium of film. But there is so much voice-over in Live By Night Affleck might as well have made an audiobook. And it’s so f*cking boring I can’t even describe it, but I’ll try: It’s somewhere between listening to someone tell you about their dream last night and watching golf on TV. (Lainey: I watch golf on TV.) When we meet Joe Coughlin he’s a disillusioned World War I veteran who becomes a bank robber because he doesn’t want to take orders anymore because he’s been to war and he’s seen that it’s just a bunch of poor saps dying so the rich can get richer. Joe Coughlin is like, so woke, bro. He’s also carrying on an affair with Emma ([Sienna Miller]), the girlfriend of Irish Mob boss Albert White (Robert Glenister, MI-5). After a bank robbery goes bad and Emma turns on Joe, he ends up in jail, albeit with a shortened sentence courtesy his police superintendent father (Brendan Gleeson, and the best thing Live By Night has going for it is a tremendous cast where even small roles are played by top-shelf actors). And that’s just the prologue, as Joe gets out of jail and moves to Tampa to bootleg rum for the Italian mob as part of a plot to get back at Albert White. Live By Night manages to be both boring and over-complicated, as we’re walked through years of Joe being The Best Gangster and moving in with his Cuban bootlegging partner’s sister, Graciela ([Zoe Saldana]). Joe is in business with the Cubans, and living with a Cuban woman, and he hangs out in the black part of town and goes to Afro-Cuban clubs, which of course brings him into conflict with the KKK. Woke Gangster Bae Joe takes down the KKK, though, in about fifteen minutes of screen time. And then he’s on to beefing with a tent revival preacher ([Elle Fanning]) over a casino he wants to put in the new Ritz hotel, except the preacher is the daughter of the local sheriff Joe helped get clean after her Hollywood dream went the way those things usually do. There is so much happening in this movie, but this feels like the part that should have been the focus of the whole thing, as it has the most interesting character development and also provides the backbone for the act-three conflict. A huge problem with Live By Night is that we never see Joe do the work. The Godfather is all about the work of organized crime—the strategy, the making of alliances and deals, the planning of hits and busts, and then the execution of those plans. There’s only one sequence in Live By Night that really pops, a hotel shoot-out in act three, because we get to see the work of it, as Joe reveals strategy that relies on information learned earlier in the film, and then the plan unfolds and we see Joe and his men actively fight their way through the hotel. Work is a popular topic around here, and it should be a more popular topic in film. John Wick is f*cking amazing and that movie is almost entirely John Wick At Work. Live By Night, though, doesn’t want to be about Joe Coughlin at work. Affleck has no interest in actually showing us Joe doing his job, unless his job entails shooting up the KKK or racist mob bosses. Affleck’s investment in the story is to create and portray an anti-hero redeemed by his progressivism and while that’s not inherently bad, the execution is severely lacking. So, as is usually my recommendation, skip Live By Night and watch John Wick instead. Attached - Ben Affleck at the Paris premiere of Live By Night with Chris Messina today. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 8:02 PM [Smutty Tingles] Conscious uncoupling [has been replaced by ugly custody battle]. It’s contagious. (Dlisted) [Tom Hardy doesn’t want to jinx his chance at Bond], unlike, ahem, some other Tom (Just Jared) [Ed Sheeran quit beer] (Cele|bitchy) Most of you [would not have reacted this way after climbing Ryan Gosling]. Emma Stone is not most. (TooFab) [Margot Robbie with Tonya Harding hair] (TMZ) That’s exactly how I expected [Rick Rubin’s studio to be like] (The Superficial) Pretty Big, [the new dance crew] (Pajiba) [Gabrielle Union’s dress looks like crochet]. I don’t like. (Go Fug Yourself) [I am obsessed with this girl] (Jezebel) [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 6:04 PM [Diego & Suki] [Diego Luna/Suki Waterhouse] Since the release of Rogue One, not a day goes by without an email, or a few, from someone asking for more gossip about [Diego Luna]. God.DAMN. yes he was hot in Rogue One. And, as Sarah [mentioned last week], if you haven’t seen Y Tu Mama Tambien yet, get on that as soon as possible. Jacek and I watched it together when it first came out. And it’s one of the few films that we rewatch together whenever we can. It’s hilarious. And moving. And it has something for everyone. Anyway, for those of you Gossip Genie-ing for more Diego gossip in 2017, your wish has come true. He and [Suki Waterhouse] are together. The photos aren’t available for wide release yet as TMZ evidently has the exclusive of them together in Mexico so [click here] to see them. Previously Suki dated Bradley Cooper. Previously Diego was married to Mexican actress Camila Sodi, with whom he has two children. They divorced in 2013 but remain on good terms as evidenced by the fact that they were all together at the Rogue One premiere in December: Diego and Suki, however, are not new. They were first seen together back in 2015 after working together on a film called The Bad Batch. Here’s video of them making out in LA: And again, three months later, in August 2015: [#SukiWaterhouse, ex de #BradleyCooper, também fez a fila andar! A top que foi fotografada aos beijos com um moreno desconhecido nas ruas de Londres, ficou com Cooper por quase dois anos, mas a relação chegou ao fim em março. O galã, entretanto, foi rápido no gatilho e, dois meses depois, assumiu seu namoro com a top #IrinaShayk, ex de #CristianoRonaldo que, a quem interessar possa, continua solteiro.] A photo posted by Revista QUEM (@quemacontece) on Aug 17, 2015 at 11:29pm PDT So they’ve either been together for almost 2 years and super undercover about it. Or they’ve been on-off for almost 2 years and super undercover about it. Maybe less undercover now? [Source] [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:12 PM [JB: no comment] [Justin Bieber at Catch LA where he had dinner with Patrick Schwarezengger and Abby Champion, January 14, 2017] [Justin Bieber] stepped out on Saturday night for dinner at Catch. Every few months or so there’s a place they all go. I guess The Nice Guy is so 2015/16? So now, every night, the paps will post up at Catch for their shots. So JB was surrounded as he was coming and going and, of course, asked about [Selena Gomez] and [The Weeknd]. He kept his chill. Well done. So does he just not care? Or was he prepared? Oh come on. Caring comes in degrees. And while JB might not care, that much, these are sensitive, self-involved people. Everything comes back to them. There’s no such thing as not caring at all. It’s about care management. Which is why I prefer to think that JB knew what he’d be encountering and was ready for it. And that might also explain why he’s, so far, resisted the temptation to comment on Twitter. Self control, as practised by Justin Bieber. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:10 PM [Body-off is the new dance-off] [Bella Hadid steps out in New York with sister Gigi and their mother Yolanda, January 15, 2017] For the last year or so, [Gigi Hadid] has been the most high profile Hadid. Her sister, [Bella], who models too, has never had the same level of hype. At least not until [Selena Gomez] started dealing with her ex, [The Weeknd]. So you know that last week, Selena and Abel were [papped after dinner], with their arms all over each other and kissing. Selena and Gigi are friends through Taylor Swift. [Gigi and Bella tried to tell TMZ] the other day that Gigi and Selena were actually “best” friends. Amateur move. Even the most casual gossip knows that while Selena and Gigi have connections, they’ve never been known to hang on their own. Selena’s sources quickly made the correction, [clarifying that Taylor is the link] and that, really, Selena and Gigi aren’t close at all, simply acquaintances. Which means that Selena, in their minds, in dating Gigi’s little sister’s ex-boyfriend, isn’t committing an egregious friend violation. Bella was in New York all weekend with Gigi and their mother. And the paps were all over them. Here’s what Bella posted on Instagram a couple of days ago: [A photo posted by Bella Hadid (@bellahadid)] on Jan 13, 2017 at 10:49pm PST Meant for the photographers? Or for Selena? I’m not sure she’s complaining about the photographers. Bella Hadid has never been more famous. You know what I love about this situation though? Back in the day, after Britney and Justin broke up, they ran into each other at a club and got into a fight. That fight escalated… into a dance-off. A dance-off! That dance-off is probably one of the greatest moments of all time in gossip history. It was even parodied on Saturday Night Live with Matt Damon playing the part of Justin Timberlake and Amy Poehler as Britney Spears. How long has it been since you’ve seen these photos? How happy are you right now? This moment in Gossip Nostalgia was brought to you by those jeans. LOOK AT HIS JEANS! Anyway, August will mark the 15th anniversary of that infamous dance-off. Dance-offs don’t happen anymore. But, as The Awl noted in 2009, that dance-off [defined the gossip of that generation]. Reality television was on the rise. Competition shows were on the rise. This was competition among the biggest of celebration. In this generation though, when reality television is now a grandfather and social media is the cool kid, and life is lived through filtered images, has the dance-off been replaced by the … body-off? This is what Bella Instagrammed when news broke that Selena and Abel are a thing: [goodnight🌙 love and light to you all..happy to be home💛] A video posted by Bella Hadid (@bellahadid) on Jan 12, 2017 at 4:32pm PST This is a photo of Selena that photographer Mert Alas posted when news broke that Selena and Abel are a thing: [The thong pic that's sending the internet crazy @selenagomez #selenagomez #beautifulwoman #sexyashell #hothothot #bootyfordays #selenagomezthong #sexiestwomanalive #model #sexy #thong #selena #curves #dreamgirl] A photo posted by MAYHEM (@mayhem_tv) on Jan 15, 2017 at 10:00pm PST Mert has since removed the image but before he deleted it, he tagged The Weeknd. The internet is forever so it doesn’t matter that Mert tried to wipe it, this shot is basically immortal. And everyone was talking about it. So. Bella and Gigi hit the gym yesterday. They boxed. Bella dropped into some squats to work on her glutes. Bella’s ass is just as firm and round as Selena’s, OK? At post time, Selena has yet to respond. Is the body-off over? Or will there be another move? [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:28 PM [The Famewhore Defense] [Robin Thicke and Paula Patton attends the 56th GRAMMY Awards at Staples Center on January 26, 2014 in Los Angeles, California] We can jump right in, because there’s no cutesy way to talk about the problems between [Paula Patton] and [Robin Thicke] right now. To recap: the Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS) is investigating Robin after their son Julian made statements to his school principal and mediator. (Details and timeline [here].) DCSF is investigating Robin and Paula filed an emergency order to ask that his access to Julian be restricted to daytime, supervised visits (her request was denied). On Friday, Robin went to Paula’s with the sheriff’s department to pick up Julian – TMZ has the video [here]. It’s not dramatic and doesn’t show Robin at all – it’s simply Paula (and possibly an assistant or nanny?) speaking calmly to the police. Robin has defended himself, stating that he uses light spanking (which is legally allowed) as a last resort, as he and Paula agreed upon when they were married. He also said that Paula is actually just upset that she wasn’t allowed to attend the funeral of his father, Alan Thicke. [Specifically]: “It is my belief that Paula holds residual anger towards me because I and my family would not permit her or her family to attend the funeral of my father on December 20, 2016. Paula did not have a positive relationship with my father … As such, she was not welcome at his funeral. It is my belief that Paula only wanted to attend because it would have resulted in additional public exposure for her. Ah, the Famewhore Defense. Where have we seen this recently? Well, with Johnny and Amber, certainly. Amber is so pleased with the attention she receives from divorcing Johnny Depp that [she simply can’t let go]. And of course Brad said Angie can’t control her good publicity bloodlust, which is a pretty [easy sell to people who want to buy it]. In all three of these cases the men face/d allegations of physical abuse, and all three defended themselves with, in short, “She’s lying for attention.” Because how else would a famous woman, or ANY woman, get attention, right? In Paula and Robin’s particular case, it was the school who contacted Paula and DCFS (principals, counsellors and teachers are mandatory reporters in California). According to reports, Paula told the school that she had heard the same allegations from Julian and didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to do. That detail seems entirely plausible as this is a terrible situation. That is the reaction of a person who is distressed, not someone plotting a grand take-down. But but but… she just wants to get back at him for missing out on a publicity opportunity! Ummm, couldn’t she have easily capitalized on her ex father-in-law’s death without going to the funeral? Any magazine or entertainment show would have taken her call. It would be incredibly easy for someone like Paula to procure a quick hit of publicity for any reason – every day we are inundated to breathless stories about haircuts and remodeled bathrooms and favourite smoothie recipes from A to Z listers. Paula Patton didn’t need to wait for someone to die to get a story in PEOPLE, OK? Beyond procuring invites to star-studded funerals, is she hitting up every red carpet, going to all the parties, store openings and events in LA, sitting front row at fashion shows or using social media on the regular? Not really. It’s a weak defense. His allegation doesn’t fit her public profile at all. But even if we believe, for argument’s sake, that she loves good publicity and wants more of it, does that invalidate her claim? And the school’s claim? Paula also alleges that drugs and alcohol play a part in the issues and cited an incident when Robin showed up to kindergarten graduation intoxicated at 8:30 in the morning. Robin has [admitted to issues with drugs and alcohol in the past]. So on the one hand you have a man who has substance abuse issues and supporting declarations from the school principal and mediator and on the other hand you have a woman. Tough call on who has more credibility, apparently. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:31 PM [Gossip Nostalgia: Brad Pitt, Sting…and Charlie Hunnam] [Alex & Ani host ROCK4EB! with Brad Pitt, Chris Cornell, and Sting at EBMRF Benefit on January 14, 2017 in Malibu, California] Last week, [Brad Pitt] was the [surprise presenter at the Golden Globes] to introduce Moonlight, which he co-produced. This weekend he stepped out at a charity event, the EBMRF Benefit in Malibu, his second public appearance in as many weeks, now that he and Angelina Jolie have agreed to wage World War Brange in private. So far they’ve managed to go 7 days without sh-tting on each other through media outlets. And now Brad can focus on enjoying – and adding to – his popularity. As for his connection to this particular event, beyond wanting to help, I’m thinking maybe it’s [Sting]. Pop Gossip History Quiz: When you think of Brad Pitt + Sting, what comes to mind? Is it this? That was 1999, November. Brad Pitt proudly showing off the engagement ring he gave [Jennifer Aniston] on stage at a Sting show. Do you remember how extra they used to be? Theirs was the kind of Malibu cliff-side wedding, with helicopters swirling above, that just doesn’t happen anymore in Hollywood. Madonna and Sean Penn had one of those too. Last Saturday, January 7, was the 12 year anniversary of the day Brad and Jen announced their separation. They were on holiday together in Anguilla, seemingly as close as ever, when the statement was released. There followed a decade of Brange. And now. Brange is broken and Brad Pitt is hanging out with Sting again. How long before we see a shot of him having lunch with Jen and Justin Theroux? Also at the event on Saturday, [Charlie Hunnam]. Charlie and Brad have known each other a while. Charlie sold a screenplay to Brad’s Plan B many years ago. And Plan B produced The Lost City Of Z. Also there have been rumours for a while that if a Sons Of Anarchy prequel were to ever happen, they’re hoping that Brad, given the resemblance between the two, would play the legendary John Teller, father of Jax. Unfortunately Brad and Charlie did not pose together at this fundraiser. Unfortunately Charlie only posed for one photo. And it’s not his best. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:12 PM [Sherlock: In the end, none of it matters] [Sherlock Season 4, Episode 3 ] Sherlock Season 4, Episode 3 recap SPOILERS After a [middle episode] that introduced a completely unjustified third Holmes sibling, Sherlock series four concludes with whack-a-mole plot and a wholly unnecessary retconning of the entire Moriarty arc of the first two—and still best—seasons. “The Final Problem” is also hopefully the final Sherlock episode for a while—for once, I won’t mind a years-long wait until the series returns. Series four has been hyper and over-stuffed even by Sherlock standards, but all that gyrating didn’t amount to much as we end up where we always were, with Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson solving crimes with no lingering emotional distress or growth from their experiences. The most frustrating thing about the way Mary Morstan Watson was handled by Sherlock is that, ultimately, she didn’t matter. In the books her death is merely a passing mention, because Arthur Conan Doyle understood she was irrelevant to Holmes and Watson solving cases. The TV series attempted to make a bigger deal of her—so have the RDJ movies but that trilogy remains incomplete so we don’t know how they fare—only to use her, in the end, to give Sherlock and John permission to go on as they always were: Sherlock, an addict using crime to get high, and John emotionally crippled by PTSD and reliving the war through Sherlock’s antics. (Don’t even get me started on how useless baby Rosie is—John might as well not have kids for all the difference she makes.) But no woman was treated worse by this series than Molly Hooper (Louise Brealey). In many ways, Molly embodies everything that has gone wrong with Sherlock, as she is dragged back into this episode for no real reason except to be humiliated as a plot point on Sherlock’s emotional arc that doesn’t even have a payoff. This episode revolves around Sherlock’s long-lost sister, Eurus (Sian Brooke), the cleverest Holmes but also an outright psychopath who was locked up as a child after doing something terrible involving Sherlock’s dog, Redbeard, and arson. Eurus is the kind of character that NEEDS multiple-episode setup but she doesn’t get it so there is absolutely nothing to ground anything that’s happening in this episode. Except for Sherlock’s phone call to Molly. In staging the “final problem” for Sherlock, Eurus traps him, John, and Mycroft in the prison where she is incarcerated—this is every bit as dumb as it sounds—and forces Sherlock to navigate a series of challenges, including getting Molly to say “I love you”, which actually has some emotional resonance because we first meet Molly as a woman with a hopeless crush on Sherlock, who blatantly uses her when convenient and is unspeakably cruel to her on more than one occasion. But following his death and subsequent return, Molly seemed to have grown and left Sherlock—at least the romantic ideal of him—behind. In series three we see Sherlock and Molly come to terms as friends. Sherlock values her, and can express that to her, and Molly, while always there for Sherlock when needed, is no longer as emotionally vulnerable to him. That position is even reiterated earlier in this series, when Molly takes Sherlock to task for using (again). Only in this episode, she says she can’t say “I love you” because it would be true, and the scene is acted as if Molly is flayed open by submitting to Sherlock’s request. In the moment, Sherlock is angry at being forced to humiliate a friend, but in the closing montage, there is no discernible emotional fallout between them. Presumably they just got over it, but because we don’t see their reckoning, it reduces Molly to once again being nothing more than a prop whose love for Sherlock is used to illustrate his cleverness. The Molly/Sherlock phone call is, in and of itself, a terrific, painful scene featuring two accomplished actors. But within the context of the episode, and the show at large, it’s totally meaningless. Any drama introduced is erased by the ending, and tonally, it doesn’t even make sense for where those characters are emotionally. And this has become the central problem with Sherlock—the show will do whatever it wants in the moment, but it isn’t interested in long-term growth and evolution. This has been the case with Sherlock’s murder of Charles Magnussesn, John’s marriage, Sherlock’s death and resurrection—in the end, none of it MATTERS. Sherlock and John end up right where they started, seemingly unchanged by the things they’ve been through over the last several years. Even Molly, the one person who seemed to escape Sherlock’s orbit, is dragged back to be the lovesick fool, his emotional patsy. “The Final Problem” is full of ludicrous twists and unearned revelations, and despite that fan service-y closing montage, Sherlock ends, for the foreseeable future, with a messy, unsatisfying finale. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 1:43 PM [Meghan meets Kate] [Meghan Markle/Princess Catherine] [Prince Harry] and [Meghan Markle] have been together since at least last June. She met Prince Charles back in September around Harry’s birthday. And she met Prince William later on in the fall. But she’d yet to meet [Princess Catherine], until last week. According to [US Weekly], Kate and Meghan met on Tuesday, January 10th at Kensington Palace. Princess Charlotte was there too. But not Big G. Supposedly because he was back in Norfolk for school but probably because Big G is a status queen and won’t be gracing Meghan with his acknowledgement until she’s actually been confirmed as The One. It’s looking good though, non? Harry and Meghan spent the New Year in Norway, [chasing the Northern Lights]. They were initially planning on an African holiday destination but changed their minds at the last minute. This too was first reported by US Weekly. So, it’s 2017 and the American royal gossips are continuing to scoop the UK royal gossips and publications on Prince Harry exclusives. What will the rest of the year look like? From the moment their relationship became public, it’s been obvious that Harry and Meghan are serious. Which is why we’ve been waiting for the next step in serious. I guess what I’m trying to say here is… WE NEED THIS, HARRY. WE NEED THIS! [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 1:23 PM [Jaden Smith and the DMV] [Jaden Smith on vacation in Hawaii with his family, January 14, 2017] Jaden Smith went through a major life trauma on Friday and, like a good millennial, documented his subsequent melodramatic breakdown on Instagram. That “major life trauma” was maybe, probably, [failing his driver’s test]. While sitting in a car at the DMV, Jaden livestreamed himself slowly unravelling, presumably after getting the news that he failed his test. “It’s going to be so funny to tell my dad that I’ve failed straight up,” says a defeated Jaden. When we talk about the Smith kids, we usually talk about how weird and/or fashionable they are. We don’t usually talk about their parents Will and Jada as disciplinarians. The way Jaden says this makes me think he’s actually worried Will Smith will be disappointed in him and that is probably the most relatable teenage thing Jaden has ever said publicly. But then, he takes his post-fail analysis a little too far (even after someone off camera mumbles something about not failing.) Aside from threatening to move out of LA, the traffic capital of America, Jaden says this: “It just shows you how sad society and life is sometimes… Create the life you want for yourself. Everybody follow your heart… It’s hard these days to really create the life you want for yourself because there’s nobody really here that’s like supporting the youth or the youth’s creativity.” This rant is amazing on so many levels. It’s all very uplifting but what, you may ask, the f-ck does this all have to do with the DMV? When Lainey sent me this story, she was laughing at Jaden because a failed driver’s test clearly shook him to his core. Sure, Jaden is overreacting but as someone who failed her driver’s test not one but THREE times, I can’t help but empathise with him. Yes, I failed three times. FINE, here’s the breakdown: the first time, I had just turned 16, hadn’t practiced and didn’t exactly know what to do at a yield sign. The second time, I didn’t even make it out of the parking space. Let’s just say it involved reversing out of said space and being really stubborn. And finally, I was so nervous the third time I completely blanked and turned right at a red light without stopping. Each time, I did feel like I had failed at life a little more than the last. I think I was about Jaden’s age the third time I failed and it seemed like the worst thing in the world. I was a few months away from moving to Toronto for university so I gave up and now, I’m a grown ass woman who is days away from turning 30 and I STILL DO NOT HAVE MY DRIVER’S LICENSE. I live in a big city. Stop judging me. Jaden Smith is 18 so age-wise he and I may be on opposite ends of the millennial spectrum but we seem to have at least one thing in common: we both do not react well to failure. If I had Instagram Live when I was failing each of my driver’s tests, I may have also had an overemotional outburst on camera for all of my friends to watch because being a teenager is all about narcissism and theatrics. Jaden’s full DMV livestream is below. Click play for the above hysterics, stay for the closing thoughts on, “why aren’t scientists Instagram Live-ing to cure cancer right now?” Here's Jaden on vacation in Hawaii with Willow and Jada on the weekend. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 12:57 PM [Privacy Policy] - [Unsubscribe]