Newsletter Thursday, December 22, 2016

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Thursday, December 22, 2016 [Intro for December 22, 2016] ['Casey Affleck' Episode 1714 -- Pictured: Casey Affleck as Donny during the 'Dunkin' Donuts' sketch on December 17, 2016] Dear Gossips, At this point, it’s looking like Casey Affleck, [alleged sexual harasser], will win the Oscar for Best Actor for his terrific performance in Manchester By The Sea. It’s not necessarily that he shouldn’t. But, as Duana and I discussed on the [Show Your Work podcast a few weeks ago], can we at least talk about it? I’ve repeatedly linked to the [Mashable article from September about Casey’s sexual harassment lawsuit]. It didn’t make much of an impact. In November, just before US Thanksgiving, Amy Zimmerman wrote about the case and the [disturbing accusations against Casey for The Daily Beast]. Barely anyone noticed. Early this week, Anne Helen Petersen wrote a piece called [Here’s What Separates Casey Affleck From Nate Parker]. Answer: privilege. AHP, as usual, delivers great work. After her article was posted, Nico Lang wrote at Salon about how [Saturday Night Live normalised] Casey Affleck, a year after giving Donald Trump the stage. And then Matthew Belloni wrote about Casey and Mel Gibson and [Hollywood’s Sliding Scale of Moral Punishment] for The Hollywood Reporter. And yesterday The New Yorker posted a piece about [The Thorny Ethics of the Oscars] by Michael Schulman. Also yesterday, a piece in The Huffington Post about the media wanting to “[quash Casey Affleck’s Oscar chances]” and that it’s too late. It is too late but I’m not sure “quashing” is the point. The point is to have the conversation. All the conversations. The conversations about how women are treated in the workplace but also the conversations about why some conversations happen ([Nate Parker]) and some don’t ([Casey Affleck]) and how this deliberate selectiveness helps few but has the potential to hurt so many. Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:49 PM [Smutty Tingles] [Brad Pitt’s lump of coal] for Angelina Jolie (Dlisted) Michael Fassbender [could have been in Star Wars] (Just Jared) [Tobey Maguire’s Wolf Pack holiday season] (Cele|bitchy) [The SVU reunion] – and they haven’t changed (TooFab) [Is this going to stop in 2017]? (Hollywood Tuna) [Demi Lovato sings Silent Night] (Pop Sugar) Mimi’s iconic Christmas song [has a rival] (The Superficial) How to make your [neck look small] (Popoholic) [The Top 10 shows of 2016] (Evil Beet) [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 8:11 PM [My Obsession visits my Obsession?] [Sam and Aaron Taylor Johnson attend GQ Men of The Year Party at Chateau Marmont on December 8, 2016 in Los Angeles, California] [Sam] and [Aaron Taylor-Johnson] have been travelling the last few days. At least that’s what she seems to be telling us on Instagram. The travel is Elvis-themed. If you’ve been reading this blog a while, you know that Elvis is also one of my obsessions. We named our youngest dog Elvis. Elvis, a hound dog blue beagle, with the blue nose. Few things made me happier in 2016 than finding Elvis and finding out that he is naturally suited to his name. And now I’m happy because two of My Obsessions are occupying the same space. Here’s the first shot Sam posted: [Elvis's bathroom @aarontaylorjohnson] A photo posted by Artist & Director (@samtaylorjohnson) on Dec 21, 2016 at 1:58pm PST That made me uncomfortable, initially. Because if you know Elvis, the combination of Elvis + Bathroom, well… Not that they’d let you go into there at Graceland (I don’t think so at least but I’ve never been to Graceland and YES, this is a problem and I intend to fix it in 2017) but still, I can’t be the only one who pictures certain things, certain images, when Elvis and bathroom are mentioned together in the same sentence. But then she posted another shot: [Leaving the Elvis building @aarontaylorjohnson] A photo posted by Artist & Director (@samtaylorjohnson) on Dec 21, 2016 at 2:00pm PST So it’s not Graceland. It’s Elvis Palm Springs. Where Elvis and Priscilla honeymooned. I haven’t been there either. Seriously, what kind of a goddamn Elvis fan am I? [#elvis] A photo posted by Artist & Director (@samtaylorjohnson) on Dec 21, 2016 at 4:43pm PST Here are some photos we never got around to posting of My Obsession at the GQ party a couple of weeks ago. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:51 PM [Irina’s pregnancy bag] [Irina Shayk in Beverly Hills on December 21, 2016] [Irina Shayk] and [Bradley Cooper] are pregnant and engaged. There’s been no confirmation. But I’m not sure we need one? Check out Irina out for lunch in LA yesterday wearing the emerald ring that’s reportedly [her engagement ring]. And carrying around a large bag of gifts that’s conveniently covering her body so that … I don’t know… we won’t see that she’s carrying Coop’s baby even though she knows that’s what everybody’s been talking about, with respect to her, since the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. And, well, some would say she was responsible for that too, because it probably didn’t come from Coop’s people. Yesterday E! News reported that [Irina and Coop already know they sex of their child] and have already narrowed down their list of baby names. I’m going to take a guess. Charles, for his dad. Middle name Valyrian both for her father (his name is Valery) and Valyrian steel, because [Coop loves Game Of Thrones]. Charles Valyrian Cooper. Come on! I think I nailed it. And even if I didn’t nail it I totally think they should take my suggestion. Even the initials look good in a logo: CVC CvC cVc [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:16 PM [The Royal Christmas Card: Monaco edition] [2016 Royal Christmas Card: Monaco Edition] [Prince Albert] and Serene [Charlene] of Monaco have released their annual Christmas card with new photos of their twins, Jacques and Gabriella. The pictures were posted early today on the [Royal Monaco official Facebook page] and they’re [definitely an improvement on last year]. Do you remember last year? And that surprisingly not very tasteful Christmas tree? Not that this year’s Christmas tree is all that tasteful. But the setting is slightly improved. The family is posed in front of a portrait of Princess Grace. And they’re trying to add some “luxury” to the tableau with those fluffy blankets on the ground. But, to be honest, for royalty, if we’re getting super judgy here, it’s lacking elegance, non? I hate to keep going back to the tree but, seriously, what’s up with this Frosted Wheats tree? My peasant-ass tree looks better than this, I swear. Where is the styling??? Could you imagine this in a magazine? The answer is no. And your answer might be, oh, well that just shows how down to earth they are and that they don’t care about aesthetics. Um…they’re a royal family. Aesthetics is basically ALL they care about. They wouldn’t exist otherwise. Princess Gabrielle is doing all the work in this family portrait. And she did all the work last year too with the apple in her mouth. Also, her brother’s outfit for this official holiday card is killing me. It’s a black sweater over black pants that pretty much amounts to a track suit. Jacques, the Hereditary Prince of Monaco, is wearing a black track suit for their family holiday card. I can’t imagine this would have been his parents’ preferred outfit. So I’m going to assume that he, like so many toddlers, straight up refused to put on what they wanted him to put on and insisted on his black track suit. Sly little guy. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:50 PM [Men lost in the forest again] [The Lost City of Z] The trailer for The Lost City of Z, aka, the movie where [Charlie Hunnam] [ghosted his girlfriend for five months], has been released and it’s two minutes of white dudes wandering around in the woods. Again. The book it’s based on is a great read, but the trailer is communicating self-importance and pretension, and it looks like The Revenant: Amazon Edition. It’s directed by James Gray, whose work I generally like, and it certainly looks lovely, with the mellow gold lighting and deep blacks pulled out of the greens. Very saturated and contrasty without burning out your retinas, Michael Bay could take notes. And Robert Pattinson’s sadness beard is truly impressive. But what is the angle here? This dude (Percy Fawcett, for the record) gets lost in the Amazon, and then what? Who is Tom Holland supposed to be? (His son, Jack Fawcett.) And what is RPattz doing there? (Playing the surveyor, Henry Costin.) I only know this because I read David Grann’s book of the same name back when it came out in 2009. It’s a great book, by the way, equal parts mystery and travelogue, combining modern archaeology with the history of Fawcett’s disastrous expedition in 1925. Great beach read for the non-romance novel types out there. None of that is translating in this trailer. If you haven’t read the book, are you picking up on how any of these people relate or what the f*ck they’re doing in the jungle? 90% of cinema audiences rely solely on trailers to convince them to see a movie, and I don’t think this is getting the job done. James Gray isn’t a commercial director—except for when he is literally directing [commercials]—so it’s not like he has to appeal to the blockbuster set with this. But the arthouse is just as competitive as the cineplex—maybe more so, because there’s less money to go around—so you have to deliver a good trailer for this audience, too. And I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty tired of “white people lost in the woods” movies. I listed Martin Scorsese’s Silence as a movie I don’t care for on my [2016 Top 10], and boy did a lot of people who haven’t seen the movie yet share their opinions on that. Simplified, Silence is about Jesuit priests lost in the woods in feudal Japan. It’s a Struggle Movie, too, but I found the plight of the Japanese so much more compelling than the priests. If Silence simply switched it around so that the protagonists are the Japanese converts hiding the priests, who take a backseat to Japanese concerns and storytelling, then Silence is immediately more interesting because it’s not like every other Struggle Movie about white people lost in the woods. The book Lost City of Z is great because of the details about the Amazon and what modern archaeology has uncovered about pre-Colombian life there, but that’s the sort of thing that doesn’t translate in film. So we’re left with yet another white people lost in the woods Struggle Movie. Super exciting. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:36 PM [Smutty Social Media, December 22, 2016] [Britney's Instagram] Why did Camila really leave Fifth Harmony? A girl can only take so many unreciprocated high fives. No wonder Camila decided to leave. Heartbreaking. [pic.twitter.com/oTj6wBF1k4] — Music News & Facts (@musicnews_facts) [December 19, 2016] I’m inclined to believe the rumours about [Britney’s new relationship] because she is feeling herself. And she is never feeling herself more than when someone catches her eye. [Stretching in the morning keeps me motivated 💜💜💜💜] A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on Dec 21, 2016 at 4:39pm PST Anna Sui and Marc Jacobs have dinner – what do you think fashion designer gossip sounds like? I bet it’s so c-nty and amazing. [A delicious dinner with good friends... @officialannasui #lagrenouille] A photo posted by Marc Jacobs (@themarcjacobs) on Dec 21, 2016 at 8:40pm PST This is a fantastic gift! Custom, useable and can be a show-off centerpiece for guests. [For years @soniakharkar has been taking photos of me when I'm eating and I would always ask her why the hell she was doing that. Yesterday she gave me these six dessert plates printed with photos of me shoving food in my face. It's the funniest gift I've ever gotten. Thank you @soniakharkar. ❤️🎄👸🏽] A photo posted by Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) on Dec 21, 2016 at 5:02pm PST I was going to say something bitchy about Lauren Conrad’s blog but my goodness it’s flimsy and unenergetic. It’s lifestyle on quaaludes. I can’t think of a better time to shine: [ [pic.twitter.com/kDEG41cpVB] — Lauren Conrad (@LaurenConrad) [December 22, 2016] Some Zayn/Gigi shippers did a pillow comparison to prove that this was taken at Gigi’s mom’s house. [A photo posted by Zayn Malik (@zayn)] on Dec 17, 2016 at 2:34pm PST [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:23 PM [Helen Mirren wants a “hey hey”] [Helen Mirren attends the European Premiere of 'Collateral Beauty' at Vue Leicester Square on December 15, 2016 in London, England] A reader called Sharon set [this Daily Beast link] over to me this morning about [Helen Mirren]’s Christmas message on the Graham Norton Show while she was on with Will Smith and [Naomie Harris] to promote Collateral Beauty – [Sarah just reviewed the movie] and said it was bananas. Anyway, the big headline is that Helen’s Christmas message has the swears and basically she’s reminding us that 2016 was a dick but… that’s not actually the best Helen Mirren part of this clip. And I don’t understand why the best part is being ignored! Watch. And you tell me if I’m right: Who gives a sh-t about the Christmas message when the real moment came before she delivered it? First [Will Smith] gives Graham Norton some ass tickling. And then Helen sashays over and asks for some ass play of her own. “I want a hey hey!” God that’s good. Like Mrs Roper + Blanche Devereaux good. I’ve just wasted 20 minutes watching Golden Girls highlights. Blanche could wear the hell of a jumpsuit. Attached: Helen at the the European Premiere of Collateral Beauty at Vue Leicester Square on December 15, 2016 in London. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:09 PM [Will Smith in Collateral Beauty] [Collateral Beauty] SPOILERS because this movie is INSANE Based on the trailers, you probably think Collateral Beauty, aka [Will Smith]’s holiday movie, is some kind of twenty-first century It’s A Wonderful Life, where the universe conspires to convince a sad schmuck that he’s better off being a sad schmuck, and he should learn to appreciate the little things that go with being a sad schmuck, like pleasant memories and warm air sometimes. At best, it might be a mildly satisfactory weepy, the kind of unapologetic adult-oriented schmaltz that doesn’t really get made anymore. At worst, how bad could it really be? It has Will Smith! Everyone likes Will Smith! Plus it has [Helen Mirren], [Keira Knightley], [Edward Norton], [Kate Winslet], [Michael Pena], [Naomie Harris]—it can’t be THAT bad, right? Well buckle up, because this is most straight up INSANE movie I’ve seen all year. And I sat through [NINE LIVES]. Howard (Will Smith) is deeply depressed after the death of his daughter, and as a result he spends all his time building elaborate domino structures. This is really good for the domino industry, but bad for business because you see, Howard runs an ad agency that’s on the brink of ruin because of Howard’s inattention. Howard used to be the guy saying, “We’re not here to sell sh*t, we’re here to CONNECT!” and he really meant it back then but now he’s like, “This is all bullsh*t leave me to my domino empire,” which really just means he’s a human being who has been alive for more than thirty years. But the business must be saved! (Does it, though?) So in step Howard’s partners, Claire (Kate Winslet), Simon (Michael Pena), and Whit (Edward Norton). Whit is The Worst and the ringleader of the deeply sociopathic plot the partners hatch to save the company from the encroaching dominoes: They’re going to trick Howard, make it seem like he’s losing his mind, and wrest control of the company away from him so they can sell it. To accomplish this, Whit has a private investigator (Ann Dowd) follow Howard around and in this way discovers that Howard has been venting to the universe by writing letters to Love, Death, and Time. Whit then decides to hire three actors—Knightley, Mirren, and Jacob Latimore—to pretend to be Love, Death, and Time and film Howard talking to them, only to erase the actors in post to make it look like Howard is arguing with the air. All of this is to make it seem like Howard is the one with the problem and not Whit, who is CLEARLY a psychopath. So Helen Mirren is like, “You mean, gaslight him?” and at this point the room would have turned on this movie, had anyone else been present while I was watching it. The supposed Christmas weepy about a sad domino man learning to love again is in actual fact a movie about a bunch of monsters trying to ruin their boss’s life because he’s too sad at work. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. Howard is also engaged in stalking the leader of a grief support group (Naomie Harris) who encourages him to see the “collateral beauty” all around him, which unless “Collateral Beauty” is the name of a racehorse, is a nonsense phrase. That’s just random words smashed together because apparently someone trademarked “silver linings”. But this subplot has more batsh*t insane things up its sleeve because it turns out Naomie Harris is Will Smith’s wife! TWIST! They’re just pretending to be strangers because Howard is the f*cking whimsicalest person who has ever f*cking been conceived by a human mind. People go through all kinds of sh*t when they lose a kid, it would be perfectly fine to just say that in their grief, Howard and Naomie Harris have become estranged. We don’t need Howard turning their lives into the first act of a dinner theater murder mystery. BUT WAIT. THERE’S STILL MORE. Just when you think Collateral Beauty has reached maximum insanity, it finds a whole new level of batsh*t to chew on because there’s another twist. That’s right, this is a TWO TWIST MOVIE. A DOUBLE TWISTER, if you will. Because it also turns out that the “actors” weren’t acting, they really are the personifications of Love, Death, and Time all along! And they gaslighted the gaslighters! They’re there to help Howard, sure, but they also want to help his deranged co-workers and that psychopath Whit, too! You see, Claire (Winslet) thinks she’s missed her chance for a family so Time is there to reassure her that she can still have kids—she can have it all! And Whit is a monster incapable of feeling love, so Love (Knightley) tries to help him reconnect with his estranged daughter (which he accomplishes through stalking because Whit is THE WORST). And Simon (Pena) is dying but hasn’t told his family yet, so Death is on hand to help him with that. This is by far the most reasonable plotline in this entire movie. You might be thinking that Collateral Beauty sounds just nuts enough to be an entertaining hate-watch. Grab a couple friends, a glass of wine, and sit back and let the crazy wash over you. But it’s not. Despite the sheer lunacy of its plot, Collateral Beauty is BORING. It’s so boring. If you’re looking for a totally insane movie to hate-watch that stars Will Smith, rent Winter’s Tale. That movie is also batsh*t insane, but it’s bad in the good way. Collateral Beauty is just bad in the bad way. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:44 PM [Flirt Alert: Hilary Duff and Scott Eastwood] [Scott Eastwood and Hilary Duff ] [Hilary Duff] won the Annual Halloween Stupid Award this year when she and her then-boyfriend and personal trainer Jason Walsh dressed up as [a sexy pilgrim and a Native American chief]. They were immediately dragged up and down social media. She apologised on Twitter and he posted a message on Instagram that’s since been taken down. Way to stand by your contrition. About a month later, Hilary and Jason broke up. Being assholes at Halloween totally broke them up. If that is a consequence of ignorance, so be it. Next? [E! News reports] that Hilary was out on Saturday and seen flirting with [Scott Eastwood]. They were at Catch LA first and then went to 1Oak together. But even though they spoke for some time, it didn’t progress past talking – at least not at the club. She has a type though, right? She married an athlete. After that she dated an athlete. And if there’s something going on with Scott Eastwood, she’s moved on to an actor who thinks he’s an also an athlete. [You don't always need a gym. Sometimes all you need is a backyard and some motivation from my boys @tommycaudill @patmillin and @elevated___performance Thanks for the support guys! Happy hump day people. Make sure you go out and do something amazing for YOURSELF. #ItStartsWithOne Training is in full effect for #PacificRim #AustraliaHereICome] A video posted by Scott Eastwood (@scotteastwood) on Oct 5, 2016 at 6:38pm PDT Also, all of them have that douche vibe in common too, non? Sometimes I wish we could help someone reset our attraction meters. I wish someone had reset my attraction meter when I was younger because I managed to only hook up with the grossest. Hilary Duff might need a reset. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:21 PM [Emma Stone Rolling Stone] [Emma Stone in Rolling Stone] There’s a lot I like about [Emma Stone]’s interview with Rolling Stone. She’s on the cover of the new issue, just in time for the wide release of La La Land at Christmas and, of course, just as she and the film are in tight races for Oscar. This is a pretty standard magazine profile in tone. You can tell the writer is a little in love with his subject and that doesn’t have to be a problem – [Taffy Brodesser-Akner was a little in love with Christian Slater] – as long as it doesn’t become [Vanity Fair on Margot Robbie], which I don’t think it does. But some of that credit has to go to Emma too. Emma has spoken more and more about her struggles with anxiety and, specifically in this interview, how she went to therapy to learn how to manage it. "(Therapy) helped so much," she says. "I wrote this book called I Am Bigger Than My Anxiety that I still have: I drew a little green monster on my shoulder that speaks to me in my ear and tells me all these things that aren't true. And every time I listen to it, it grows bigger. If I listen to it enough, it crushes me. But if I turn my head and keep doing what I'm doing – let it speak to me, but don't give it the credit it needs – then it shrinks down and fades away." This is mental health awareness. And conversations like this about mental health concerns can help to attack the stigma faced by those who share these experiences. I’ve been working on this myself over the last few years, trying to deprogram my own embedded biases about mental health. The more people, like Emma, can be open about their mental health issues, the hope is that more people will not only recognise it in themselves, and be encouraged to address it, but also everyone else around them becomes more sensitive to it – a positive kind of normalisation. During the conversation, Emma also, subtly, speaks about sexism in the industry. Sometimes it’s not just about pay equality but also artistic equality. "There are times in the past, making a movie, when I've been told that I'm hindering the process by bringing up an opinion or an idea," Stone says. "I hesitate to make it about being a woman, but there have been times when I've improvised, they've laughed at my joke and then given it to my male co-star. Given my joke away. Or it's been me saying, 'I really don't think this line is gonna work,' and being told, 'Just say it, just say it, if it doesn't work we'll cut it out' – and they didn't cut it out, and it really didn't work!'" (Stone goes off-the-record before elaborating further.) Have you ever been in a meeting and suggested one thing and it’s ignored but a male colleague will come up with the same idea five minutes later, perhaps delivered differently, and all of a sudden it’s brilliant? It doesn’t even have to happen at work. It happens sometimes so casually it becomes part of your day-to-day life. A couple of months ago, I was in a grocery store parking lot getting a shopping cart and there was a bit of a lineup because the carts were jammed together. I told the guy at the top of the line to try dislodging the wheel instead of pulling the carts apart by the handle. He keep trying to pull at the handle. Then some other dude spoke up and was like, “Hey man, just rock the wheels back and forth,” and the guy immediately started doing it…and it worked. I looked at the lady beside me and muttered, “Didn’t I just say that?” We exchanged a knowing look. The other two highlights for me from Emma in Rolling Stone: she went over to Jennifer Lawrence’s recently to watch Hocus Pocus. What is it with this movie? I mentioned at Halloween that I’ve never seen it and got so many “WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE” emails and tweets you would think I’d said I’ve never eaten french fries. I’ve also, by the way, never seen that Rocky Horror Picture Show movie but I did fake it all through high school that I had. All you have to do is know the words, “Let’s do the time warp”. Also, Emma Stone can’t eat spicy food and I feel bad for her. I consider being able to handle high spice one of my best qualities. [Click here] to read the full article on Emma Stone in Rolling Stone. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:16 PM [December 22, 2016 – Smutty Shout-Outs] [Taylor Kitsch for Amanda] Amanda! Happy 30th Birthday – and your first since the twins! By request from Brittany – here are Taylor Kitsch, Brange, and Idris Elba. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:01 PM [Privacy Policy] - [Unsubscribe]