Newsletter Tuesday, December 13, 2016

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Tuesday, December 13, 2016 [Intro for December 13, 2016] [Mel Gibson attends The 22nd Annual Critics' Choice Awards at Barker Hangar on December 11, 2016 in Santa Monica, California] Dear Gossips, “I am one tough mother-¬f---er and you can’t bother me anymore. You ask anybody what their number one fear is and it’s public humiliation. Multiply that on a global scale and that’s what I’ve been through. It changes you and makes you one tough motherf---er. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It’s really that simple.” – [Mel Gibson] in [The Telegraph in 2010]. Yesterday Mel Gibson was nominated for 3 Golden Globe Awards for Hacksaw Ridge. So. I guess he was right. In a new piece for The Daily Beast, Amy Zimmerman tracks [the Mel Gibson comeback] and, most importantly, gives us a thorough reminder of what Mel Gibson is ostensibly coming back from. She brilliantly draws a comparison between Mel Gibson and Donald Trump in the way that Mel has been “cast as…a lone wolf, condemned by the politically correct media, voicing the (bad) opinions that people are generally reticent to share on the record”. He’s the “tough motherf-cker”, though. Everyone’s trying to bring him down for that one small time he was drunk and said stupid sh-t, but you can’t hold him down. Amy Zimmerman, by the way, is also the author of the recent article on [Casey Affleck’s dark secret] that I keep linking to, whenever I can, even though no one wants to pay attention or care. [Casey Affleck] will win the Best Actor Oscar in February. And Mel Gibson is working on a follow-up to The Passion Of The Christ called The Resurrection and given his popularity this award season, it’ll probably be easier now for him to find financing. Please be reassured then that problematic white men are going to be OK. Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:34 PM [Joshua Jackson’s single life] [Joshua Jackson on Ellen] [Joshua Jackson] is on Ellen today to promote The Affair. Duana wrote about the new season a couple of weeks ago. And she [wrote yesterday] about how the Golden Globes didn’t give any love to The Affair yesterday even though they have in the past. And maybe for them, now, it’s about giving the spotlight to the newer shows. Still, few shows can equal the quality of The Affair, especially after the most recent episode. As for Joshua, well, as we know, he got single this year, ending a 10 year relationship with Diane Kruger. Ellen asks him about what it’s like for him now and you’ll be pleased to know, I think, that Joshua Jackson’s a little old school about dating. That the whole apps and swipes thing intimidates him. He wants to get to know you. He wants to talk to you, not text you. He wants to have a real connection, and not a digital one. OK, those are totally my exaggerations but it’s also the logical assumption you make when you’re hearing him express his discomfort and hesitation with the technology behind modern romance. Then Ellen gives him a tricked out dick sling and he puts it on over his pants. So basically if you’ve ever wanted to be Pacey’s girlfriend, watch this video. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 8:37 PM [Bryan Cranston and James Franco in Why Him?] [Zoey Deutch, Bryan Cranston and Megan Mullally attend a special screening of 'Why Him?' at iPic Theater on December 11, 2016 in New York City] Why Him? is more than just a Christmas comedy, and more than a fish-out-of-water, meet-the-family tale. It’s a deep philosophical exploration of the inescapable loneliness that haunts us all, which is inevitably exacerbated by the tide of false cheer and forced goodwill that is the holiday season. Why Him? presents itself as harmless, mediocre entertainment, appropriate for the “edgy” family on the block, with its R rating and crude use of moose testicles. But really, it is a mirror turned on ourselves, held up to the pasty, diffident masses consuming their comforting holiday pap without question, and written in the life-steam on that soul-mirror by the very finger of the universe is: Because. [James Franco] stars as Laird, an internet millionaire and California flake, whose monstrous lack of boundaries and appalling taste is balanced out by his sunshine-y happiness and underlying sweetness—basically, he’s exactly who you expect a “Laird” to be. Franco excels at this type of character (see also: Saul Silver), and he’s at his best when Laird’s free-range, free-love attitude brushes up against the stodgy Midwestern morals of his girlfriend’s parents, Ned and Barb, played by [Bryan Cranston] and Megan Mullally, respectively. Cranston does uptight and irate very well, which is good as Ned spends most of the movie uptight and irate. But Mullally is only here to do a watered-down version of Tammy 2, which is a waste of Megan Mullally. Laird, hopelessly weird and socially feral, clings to the notion of family as told to him by his younger girlfriend, Stephanie ([Zoey Deutch], AGAIN giving way more than barely-written roles ask of her, someone PLEASE find her a worthy role), who represents everything normal and wholesome that Laird was deprived of by an ambitious mother. He longs to deliver a perfect family Christmas with Griswoldian zeal, but of course is foiled at every attempt because the universe is indifferent and we are all alone. Why Him? is at its best when Laird and Ned are facing off and trying to one-up each other, as their contest reveals the two sides of human nature: Horny and Wet Blanket. That the entire movie is based on two males posturing and competing to determine which will be the custodian of a female is naught but a reminder that we haven’t made all that much progress and people will still make entire movies of nearly two whole hours in length in which two men fight over the control of a woman who is a human being with thoughts and feelings of her own, which the movie will only acknowledge right at the end in the most cursory of ways. Why Him? is either passable holiday entertainment or an examination of our primordial selves. Why him? Why you? Why me? Why any of us? But there are certainly [worse] Christmas comedies in theaters this year. And there are always the comedies that air on television each year, without fail, like Home Alone: Portrait of a Serial Killer and A Christmas Story Is That Your Dad Doesn’t Love You, not to mention holiday classics like It’s A Wonderful Life So Stay In Your Sh*tty Town. When it comes to holiday movies, there are plenty of options for which brand of play-acted merriment to watch while you wait for the barbiturates you downed with your cocoa to take effect and whisk you away from the nightmarish reality of family in the season of you-can’t-escape-Aunt-Janet’s-opinions-on-the-election. So much of movie-going at Christmas is about escape, and if escape is your desire and comedy your want, then yes, you could do worse than Why Him? [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 8:06 PM [Smutty Tingles] I’ve never [heard of these people]! What am I missing? (Dlisted) Jake Gyllenhaal [will be on Broadway] (Just Jared) What would Anna Wintour choose, of all things, to [apologise for THIS]??? (Cele|bitchy) Bruno Mars is on [Carpool Karaoke tonight] (TooFab) Not sure I believe this because I [don’t feel like this would be an issue for SJP] (Celeb Dirty Laundry) Jennifer Lawrence [defaces Chris Pratt] (Pop Sugar) [Worst Dressed] at the Critics’ Choice (Popoholic) David Blaine, a member of the Wolf Pack, [f-cks up a trick] (Hollywood Tuna) My God [Judith Light looked amazing] at Critics’ Choice (Go Fug Yourself) [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:06 PM [When Edward saved Leo] [Edward Norton and Leonardo DiCaprio in New York City on October 22, 2013] [Edward Norton] is currently promoting Collateral Beauty. Last week he was on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. I missed it. But a reader called Sarah sent me the video yesterday - thank you Sarah! - because during the interview Edward is asked about [Leonardo DiCaprio]. And delivers some good insight on Leonardo DiCaprio. Edward and Leo have been friends for years. As Edward explains, even though he and Leo haven't done a movie together, they are close because of their environmental advocacy. And they went on a trip together to the Galápagos Islands. This is when Edward describes Leo's commitment to his devices. There's no way I can tell the story better than he does so watch: Leo is that guy. Not that we didn’t know he was that guy. But to hear it like this from his friend, that he’s that guy, that asshole who’s constantly on his phone, looking for the party, where’s the f-cking party, bruh, the party is gonna be so lit tonight, bruh, all the girls are at the party…and they just turned 18! EVEN HIS FRIENDS JOKE ABOUT THIS! But if they’re joking about it, doesn’t that kind of mean they’re condoning it? Oh that’s just our boy, our Alpha Wolf, that’s how he rolls, right up on the models as soon as they go legal. Here’s Edward at the premiere of Collateral Beauty last night. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:50 PM [Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston in Office Christmas Party] [Jennifer Aniston at the 'Office Christmas Party' LA Premiere on December 8, 2016] On the heels of [Bad Santa 2] comes Office Christmas Party, another sub-par Christmas “comedy” in which actors play characters that are more like guesses about what real people are like than representations of actual human people. But besides being a Christmas movie this is also an office comedy that seems to have been entirely by people who have never set foot in a real office. Some of the funniest people working in film today, including [Kate McKinnon], Vanessa Bayer, TJ Miller, Rob Corddry, Jillian Bell, Matt Walsh, Randall Park, and Jason Bateman are in Office Christmas Party, as well as [Olivia Munn] who is a better actress than she is given credit for but isn’t nearly as funny as she thinks she is, and [Jennifer Aniston] who gets upstaged at her own schtick by Actual Funny Person Jillian Bell. It’s Christmas and everyone is about to lose their jobs! This is the premise of Office Christmas Party. TJ Miller is the boss of a fake tech company called Zenotek and he’s run his branch into the ground so his big sister Jennifer Aniston is there to shut him down, even though it’s Christmas and everyone is depending on their holiday bonuses. This movie is equal parts It’s A Wonderful Life, Christmas Vacation, and the depressing reality of corporate America. Also at Zenotek is Jason Bateman and Olivia Munn, as the super attractive IT people engaged in mutual crushes. Both of them look equally ridiculous spouting tech babble at each other. Also, I can’t remember any of these people’s names. Here’s how unfunny Office Christmas Party is: Not even the bloopers shown during the credits are funny. I honestly don’t know how you take this many funny people and put them in a movie together and come out with something this unfunny but Office Christmas Party manages to render even Kate McKinnon and Jillian Bell only kind of funny. Do you know how hard you have to work to make either one of them not completely hilarious? You have to be the Michael Jordan of f*cking up to make both of them not completely hilarious. Also, this is the ninety-second comedy to include Matt Walsh (Veep), in a one-off scene that isn’t funny. GIVE MATT WALSH A REAL PART. He’s a [comedy machine]—cast him as the failing boss. TJ Miller is best as comedy cool whip on your hilarity pie, but Matt Walsh can be the filling and the crust. (What kind of pie is this, I don’t even know.) But I think my biggest problem with Office Christmas Party, though, is that it expects me to believe that Jennifer Aniston knows what Cinnabon is. Jennifer Aniston doesn’t know what Cinnabon is and if you tried to explain it to her she would stop you before you could finish and walk away. She has no need of Cinnabon. Cinnabon is for when your plane is delayed for five hours and you need to disconnect but you can’t take drugs because you threw them all away before security so you eat a Cinnabon instead and fall into a sugar coma that will last approximately one hundred minutes. Cinnabon is for exhausted parents who want to get back at their screaming children so they eat something sugary in front of them while making Dane and Drusilla eat the sliced apple cup from McDonald’s. Cinnabon is like the Room of Requirement at the airport—it only appears when you’re at the end of your rope and looking to roll the dice with whether or not you’re going to have a heart attack mid-flight after playing a round of cinnamon roulette. Cinnabon is a cry for help. Yet I’m expected to believe that Jennifer Aniston knows what a Cinnabon is, let alone would ever willingly eat a Cinnabon. This movie is bullsh*t. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:31 PM [Harry & Meghan’s Christmas tree] [Prince Harry and Meghan Markle ] Last week after his Caribbean tour, [Prince Harry] flew straight to Toronto without going home to London to see [Meghan Markle] because it had been 3 weeks since they spent time together. He stayed for a day or two then went back to London for an official commitment. Harry has the love sicks. Meghan is now in London. [According to US Weekly], she flew there on Sunday, is staying with him at Kensington Palace, and yesterday went Christmas tree shopping. Instead of having it delivered, they took it home themselves. According to one of the shoppe employees, they held hands walking back to the car. So imagine the two of them spending Monday night deciding which ornaments go where. At my house, I don’t get to decide which ornaments go where. Jacek is the tree designer. Every year he picks a different colour theme. Last year it was all gold. This year it’s silver and red. After he meticulously places the streamers – vertical, never horizontal – my job is to put the hooks on the ornaments and hand them over to the creative. And I’m not mad at that. It means I don’t have to move from the couch and my Baileys on ice. Also it means I get to control the playlist. I feel like Meghan’s the creative in this relationship and Harry’s the me. As for why she’s there, apparently the trip wasn’t planned. They were supposed to go on holiday later this month but US sources say they didn’t want to wait until then and so she flew out to see him before the Christmas break. Intense. Harry and Meghan are still super intense, maybe even more intense now than they were when the story first broke about their relationship. What’s going to happen on this holiday, do you think? [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:40 PM [My Obsession at the Golden Globes] [Aaron Taylor-Johnson shops at the Grove in Los Angeles, California on December 12, 2016] One of Sarah’s beefs with this award season has been that Nocturnal Animals is not contending. She screened it at TIFF. [She called it “flawless”]. But no Oscar predictor has the [film on the list] for Best Picture even though many believe Sully could come in with a few nominations because of the Eastwood-Hanks Academy connection. Duana and I talk about Sully on this week’s episode of our [Work podcast] and how it was over-positively reviewed. But it’s almost blasphemy at this point not to say nice things whenever Clint Eastwood makes a movie. Same goes for Tom Hanks. Anyway, Nocturnal Animals was actually nominated for 3 Golden Globe Awards yesterday by the Hollywood Foreign Press: Screenplay and Director nods for Tom Ford, and a supporting actor nod for [Aaron Taylor-Johnson]. Not sure, really, what impact, if any, that will have on the Academy and the Oscars but just a few days ago, Nocturnal Animals was called out for gifting the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. According to THR, [Focus Features sent two bottles of Tom Ford fragrances] to Golden Globe voters and the HFPA restricts gifts at $95. Tom Ford fragrances aren’t cheap. So the members were told they could keep one bottle but not both. That said, Nocturnal Animals is not the only film hustling up to the HFPA. Other gifts that rival companies have distributed this year haven’t set off similar alarm bells. Lionsgate sent out copies of a Taschen-published coffee-table book, Los Angeles: Portrait of a City, which retails for $69.99 and was wrapped in a semi-transparent cover featuring La La Land’s Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone dancing. Fox Searchlight distributed posters for Jackie inspired by Andy Warhol’s portraits of the late Jacqueline Kennedy, with Natalie Portman in Kennedy’s place. And Roadside/Amazon opted for a poster of Manchester by the Sea signed by writer-director Kenneth Lonergan. The difference here, obviously, is retail value and, well, usefulness/covetousness. Tom Ford fragrances are sold at a certain price point in stores. Tom Ford fragrances, however, pulled out of the warehouse, without going through the retail process first are probably cheaper or, at least, closer in line with the specialised gifts the other films were distributing. But who wouldn’t want a Tom Ford fragrance over a poster of Casey Affleck’s face? Please. This, of course, isn’t news when it comes to the Golden Globes and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. We’ve talked about their shadiness for as long as I’ve been writing on this blog. Last year, I heard that the Outlander team got aggressively friendly with the HPFA and as you’ve seen, Outlander has always done well with Globe nominations, this year too. Anyway, here’s Aaron Taylor-Johnson out shopping yesterday. My Obsession will be at the Globes. Why him and not Michael Shannon? Well, obviously, the HFPA is like me. For camera time, for red carpet interest level, obviously My Obsession, non? [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:25 PM [Gosling covers GQ] [Ryan Gosling covers GQ January 2017] [Ryan Gosling] is on the cover of GQ's January 2017 issue. They call him Hollywood's "Handsomest, Wittiest, Leadingest Leading man." Some would say that Gosling is the answer to the question, “Where have all the Movie Stars gone?” This GQ title would suggest that. But I would assign “wittiest” and “leadingest” to Chris Pratt or the other [Ryan from Canada] over Gosling any day. It’s not that he’s not handsome or witty or a Bonafide Movie Star but if Pratt is the Class Clown and Reynolds is Prom King, Gosling is the cool kid cutting class and smoking cigarettes behind the football field. He’s not the letterman-jacket-wearing popular kid. He’s the guy who would reject the “leadingest” tag. Or at least, that’s what he wants us to think. Gosling chose to meet the GQ writer at Dracula’s underground tomb in Budapest for no other reason than to remind us that he’s dark and weird and so interesting. The feature switches from slightly pretentious anecdotes from Gosling’s childhood of feeling like an outsider to present day talk of La La Land, the Blade Runner sequel, his family with Eva Mendes. Of course, the Eva stuff is what other outlets are jumping all over so let’s get the “aawwwww” quote out of the way. “Eva's the dream mother, and they're dream babies, and it's like a dream that I'm having right now. I'm dreaming it all. So I feel so lucky.” Whatever. He loves his family. Should we give him a gold star and a pat on the back? It’s a cute quote, sure, but I find it more adorable when he tells this story about his eldest daughter’s visit to the Blade Runner set with Harrison Ford. “She was on set the other day and I was doing a fight scene with Harrison and she just yelled out in the middle of the take, ‘You're winning!’ Well, first she said, ‘You're doing great,’ and then Harrison stopped in the middle of the take and said, ‘What about me?’” I really appreciate the lack of diapers in that anecdote. Hollywood dads, take note. There’s also a story about Harrison Ford punching Ryan in the face during a scene and apologizing with a bottle of Scotch and a few other quotes about their playful dynamic that make me excited for a Gosling/Ford press tour. They’re both known to be crotchety when they want to be and charming when they decide to be. Which ones will show up? In this GQ interview, Gosling decided to be charming, especially when he talks about the Hey Girl memes. This is the thing about Gosling. He's managed to be a Movie Star while keeping an air of mystery about him in the post social media/reality star era. And yet, he’s still an internet phenomenon. Hilariously, he credits his ‘Canadianness” for why people are obsessed with him and name-checks Justin Trudeau as the Canadian heartthrob who deserves to be the Canadian Internet Bae of the moment. Then Gosling owns up to watching his own memes/Vines/whatever the kids are calling them and explains why they make him uncomfortable. “I do care about what I say, and how I say it. Even if they're positive things, it's an odd thing to be quoted, to be credited for something that you don't deserve and haven't earned.” This is interesting because another star might lean into this persona the Internet created because it is so positive, even if they didn’t “earn” it. My favourite part of the profile is the Mickey Mouse Club reference. They only touch on it briefly, in reference to Gosling’s dance training for La La Land. He says he was excited to dance in a style where he wouldn’t have to “shake it like a showgirl,” like he did when he was singing and dancing next to Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez. Speaking of singing and dancing next to JT and JC, please revisit the greatest video of Ryan Gosling’s career. Last thing: what’s wrong with this cover? Duana and I have fought over the hotness of a [GQ cover before]. I might be in a fight with all of you because this cover is doing nothing for me but I can’t figure out why. The inside spread is much better. You can judge those photos and read Gosling’s [full GQ profile here]. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:13 PM [Teen Chef] [Gordon and Tilly Ramsay] What’s the first thing you think of when Gordon Ramsay comes to mind? For me, it’s [this]. And I’m not mad at it. I think Gordon has perfected his celebrity chef persona – in the current crop, everyone has a very specific domain. Mario is modern Italian, Nigella is sultry, Ina is Hamptons cozy, Rachel is relatable, Jamie is energetic, Bobby Flay is a griller, Anthony Bourdain is broody, and Gordon Ramsay is hot tempered. One-name celebrity chefs like this live in a rarified world: they can do as many reality shows as they like without debasing their brand. Now, we may see the rise of the first next-gen celebrity chef – Gordon Ramsay’s 15-year-old daughter, Tilly, will be [publishing her first cookbook]. She already has a blog and a show on [BBC Kids]. Tilly is perfectly situated to be the first of her generation to break out as a celebrity chef; she has the pedigree, the hands-on training at home and access to all the equipment, ingredients and kitchen support she would need. Her father is also increasingly successful – you can’t turn on the TV without seeing Gordon Ramsay threatening to rip someone’s balls off, which has netted him a [Beyonce-level payday]. Her father also does a great job of managing his celebrity while being friends with two very big celebrities, the Beckhams, and Gordon Ramsay conquered American around the same time – they are part of the same era, and now [their kids will be too]. The children – 8 between the two families – spend time together and Brooklyn and Jack seem to be particularly close. David, Victoria, Gordon and his wife Tana double-date and I’ve always wondered what that looks like. I imagine Victoria and Gordon are the more boisterous ones, but do you think he gives her sh-t for always ordering salmon and steamed greens? When they travel by private plane, who’s acting as the disciplinarian? Do the kids talk business, comparing Instagram likes and chatting about brand building? [Sea plane ✈️💦] A photo posted by Matilda Ramsay (@tillyramsay01) on Jan 5, 2016 at 7:37am PST In the mix of all next-genners (including the Beckhams, Smiths, Gerbers), a teenage celebrity chef completely makes sense to me. When I was coming of age, cooking was not considered aspirational. Making dinner was very unhip – remember how on Sex and the City, Carrie was the ultimate city girl because she kept shoes in her oven and a trait of Charlotte’s lame-ness was her muffin-making? This is how cooking was treated in pop culture for a very long time. But with the rise of the 24/7 Food Network, primetime cooking shows, urban farmers’ markets, widely available organic product lines, artisanal trends and celebrity cookbooks, the consummation of food is now a marker of status. You can show off where you eat and, more important, what you eat, on Instagram. Spending $16 on a stovetop espresso and gourmet donut says the same thing as a new pair of shoes, just in a different tone. Status is a language teens speak fluently, and we’ve seen the result of that in a growing number of “kid” version cooking shows and even a few bonafide chefs (this 2014 Teen Vogue article kills me – of course [Flynn started a supperclub at age 12)]. There is a space and interest for Tilly to be a trailblazer and introduce a new genre: Teen Celebrity Chef. And in 10 years, Apple may be calling herself a lucky motherf-cker for [having dinner with Tilly]. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:58 PM [December 13, 2016 – Smutty Shout-Outs] [Covenant House Vancouver] Andrew is 14 years old. He spent half of his life in and out of foster care until what he calls his “forever family” found him when he was 6 and a half. For the last 3 years, Andrew has been fundraising for Covenant House Vancouver, collecting twoonies for homeless and at-risk youth. As he says, “I can relate to the struggles that a lot of homeless youth have faced. Every day is challenging and there is no one that really cares. Like me all of the youth have hard stories. I found my forever family but many of the kids out there age out of foster care and have nowhere to go. Please watch my video and I hope you will help me, help them.” Please [click here] to learn more about Andrew’s story and [here] to visit his fundraising page. Below is the video that Andrew put together. 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