Newsletter Thursday, December 15, 2016

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Thursday, December 15, 2016 [Intro for December 15, 2016] ['All The Hits' Poster] Dear Gossips, I got home a bit late last night after work. I had dinner. I asked Jacek not to speak to me. I took a shower. I put on a mask. Two shots of Baileys over ice. All of those conditions needed to be in place so that I could properly enjoy… a new think-piece on… [Mariah Carey]. Mimi. [Our butterfly voluptuary]. Mimi gets a lot of media coverage, but she doesn’t typically get a lot of long article coverage because, well, on the surface, it’s not that complicated. She likes champagne, diamonds, baths – preferably all three in combination – and if the titties are up and you give her a mirror, mirror to tell her she’s the skinniest butterfly in all the land, she’s happy. Or… maybe… that’s just how she’s always intended it to be perceived? As Pier Dominguez writes in Buzzfeed, [Mimi exists in an “in-between” space], vacillating between being regarded (quite rightly) as a once-in-a-lifetime talent and, well, a silly caricature. But both of those sides, and Mimi’s other multitudes, are critical to her success – and her failures. Pier Dominguez argues that Mimi matters. OF COURSE SHE MATTERS! And she matters not just because of her musical gifts but also because of how she presents herself to us – in all manner of fancy underwear and, always, under a thick layer of glitter. [This is the study] of the possibly elusive without sarcasm Mariah Mimi Bianca Carey. Also, can we talk about Mimi in the promotional poster for her upcoming All The Hits tour with Lionel Richie? You ever been to Vegas and get those stripper peep-show cards shoved in your hand on the Strip? If you had no idea that Mariah Carey was a singer, would you think, from the image they chose of her – let’s be honest, that she chose of herself – that she’s a singing-songwriting legend? It is absurd. And it is perfect. Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:33 PM [Smutty Social Media, December 15, 2016] [Paulina Gretzky's Instagram] Family bonding, sponsored by Adidas. [Family..where life begins and love never ends. @djohnsonpga @janetgretzky] A photo posted by Paulina Gretzky (@paulinagretzky) on Dec 14, 2016 at 9:04pm PST Katie Holmes is still promoting this movie so the least one of us can do is watch it. Not me, but one of us. Anyone? Let’s nominate Sarah. [Thank you @thetalkcbs for having me on your show:) please check out @allwehadmovie in theaters in select cities or order on iTunes or Amazon! Thank you for supporting #indiefilm 😘] A photo posted by Katie Holmes (@katieholmes212) on Dec 14, 2016 at 9:12pm PST Oh I love this, both as a gift idea and an antidote to all of those ridiculous sponsored tea posts. [Fuck your Fit Tea, This is not an Ad, AJIRI Tea is the coolest company. The Tea amazing but they employ women in Kenya who make each and every label by hand. The boxes are works of art and each one unique. Then they send 100% of the profits back the Kenya to pay the school fees of orphans who otherwise would never get an education. I know a lot of you are looking for nice holiday gifts this season and I encourage you to get one that makes a difference. ❤️ @ajiritea] A photo posted by anselelgort (@anselelgort) on Dec 14, 2016 at 8:08pm PST I enjoy seeing how famous people celebrate one other. Here Sarah Hyland congratulates her castmates with a photo of herself and her boyfriend, who has been in one episode of Modern Family (according to IMDb – before you start yelling at me, I fully admit I’m not exactly caught up on it). She chose this instead of, you know, a photo of her colleagues. [How I feel about my amazing cast of #modernfamily being nominated for an 8th time! #sagawards #luckylady] A photo posted by Sarah Hyland (@therealsarahhyland) on Dec 14, 2016 at 10:54am PST [Amy’s Lemonade f-ckery] has tainted this movie for me and the trailer hasn’t even dropped yet. [Tomorrow the trailers for @snatchedmovie come out!!] A photo posted by @amyschumer on Dec 15, 2016 at 6:37am PST Rebel in Vogue Australia wearing a red sequin dress that says, “I’m making out with someone at midnight on New Year’s Eve.” I’m not mad at it. That’s exactly what a holiday dress should say. [Loving this photo of myself and @paulfeig from VOGUE Australia's January issue out Dec 19! @vogueaustralia @australiansinfilm #AiFAwards photography: @julieadamsphotographer] A photo posted by Rebel Wilson (@rebelwilson) on Dec 14, 2016 at 10:33pm PST Coldplay was in Sydney a couple of days ago, and Annabelle Wallis was in Buenos Aires. She last posted about Chris (with a shot from a Coldplay show) on November 12. Will she be having a very Goop Christmas? [One last adventure before getting cozy for Xmas. My agents getting married!!! Here we go from Buenos Aires to Uruguay!! #southamericanadventure Thank you Argentina for the hangover, dancing and comfortable airport floor! 😎💃💃💃 @atsampietro @nataniamichelle @bryants_cuba @nigelmeiojas @lindseyannjacobs and many more...❤️❤️❤️😍] A photo posted by @annabellewallis on Dec 15, 2016 at 6:05am PST Denzel Washington does not have time for foolishness. ["If you tell the truth....you don't have to remember anything" #Twain.] A video posted by Questlove Gomez (@questlove) on Dec 14, 2016 at 9:49pm PST [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 8:26 PM [Bradley & Irina engaged?] [Irina Shayk and her huge ring visit the spa in LA on December 14, 2016] [Bradley Cooper] and [Irina Shayk] are expecting a child together. Now there’s speculation that they’re engaged. Here are new shots of Irina wearing a new ring, a huge emerald. People are already [comparing it to the ring] Prince William gave Kate Middleton. Could just be a ring…? Ring watch is not all that reliable for gossip. In their case though, now that they’re having a baby, I’m not sure we can write the ring off entirely. And you don’t wear a ring like that, of that size, just to go shopping unless it’s THE ring and you never want to take it off. Celebrities, Just Like Us! Coop and Irina have yet to officially confirm or deny the pregnancy. So if they’re really engaged I don’t think they would confirm it either. Since he doesn’t have a movie to promote, there aren’t any interview opportunities for him coming up – until Guardians Of The Galaxy 2. But I’m not sure how much they need Coop for that press tour either when you’ve got Chris Pratt and an already engaged super-nerd fanbase. He’ll go to a premiere. But if he asks to be left off the junket – and celebrities never want to junket – I don’t see how that would be a problem. They could have this baby and get married and we wouldn’t know. Unless she wants us to know. Irina is better at this game than I thought she would be. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:47 PM [Harry Styles’s acting debut] [Dunkirk trailer] Dunkirk, Christopher Nolan’s inevitable World War II movie – it’s practically a rite of passage for male filmmakers of a certain age to make a WWII movie—released its first trailer yesterday, marking the official acting debut of [Harry Styles]. There’s more Harry Styles than [Tom Hardy] in this trailer, and I don’t like what this says about the movie’s priorities. I know Styles has his fans—including Lainey, who has the taste of a fourteen year old (Lainey: keep up, Sarah! I’m all about Zayn now!)—but c’mon Styles super-fans. Tom Hardy > Harry Styles. There’s no other equation that works. The movie is about the evacuation of Dunkirk, France, where hundreds of thousands of troops were stranded during the Battle of France. I assume that people in Europe are more familiar with this story, but the Battle of France was in 1940, before the US got involved, so I think this will be a largely unknown WWII story to American audiences. Which is good, because pretty much every other WWII movie has been made. If people are going to keep making WWII movies—which they will, until WWIII breaks out over something the president-elect says at 3AM on Twitter—then they’ve got to start mining the lesser known stories. (A point I also made in my [Allied review].) Going by this trailer, Dunkirk looks pretty good. I’m definitely more into it than Hacksaw Ridge, even though there’s a lot in here that looks familiar from other movies. It is interesting that something that looks like it ought to be Oscar bait is being positioned as a summer blockbuster. That’s either going to be a savvy piece of scheduling or it’s going to knee-cap what could have been a strong fall release. It’ll be interesting to see how that plays out. It will also be interesting to see how Harry Styles’s acting debut goes. What if Styles is a good actor, and he goes on to have a successful and accomplished acting career? What if he does what Justin Timberlake has been unable to do? I would love Harry Styles forever, even though Tom Hardy is still better. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 6:10 PM [Jennifer Lawrence’s premiere wedding] [Jennifer Lawrence at the Premiere Of Columbia Pictures' 'Passengers' held at Regency Village Theatre on December 14, 2016 in Westwood, California ] [Jennifer Lawrence] and [Chris Pratt] last night at the Passengers premiere. You know Sarah and I have been writing about our gut feelings about this movie? Well the reviews, so far they haven’t been great. Just [22% on Rotten Tomatoes] so far but also, so far, as of this post, I’m not seeing any reviews from women. And I feel like this is the kind of movie that will get its support from women. Jennifer’s parents were with her last night at the premiere. She also took her parents to James Corden with her, where she showed a photo of herself peeing on the lawn behind her mother, without her mother knowing. I appreciate that Jennifer is peeing in bitch position. Like actual bitch, female dog, position. Or lazy male dog position – front paws forward, leaning ahead. Is that a better technique for humans than a straight squat? So often, especially on the golf course, I’m jealous of the male anatomy. Because it’s a simple standing situation and you can use your hand to aim. My piss aim is for sh-t. Sometimes, I don’t know, I wonder if it’s because my folds aren’t lined up probably, but it ends up in a side dribble, even when I’m sitting down on the toilet. Squatting low to the ground on a golf course, however, is a problem too because you have to go deeper into the trees, and I hate getting down so close to the shrubbery and the twigs where I feel like I’m getting poked. But Jennifer wasn’t on a golf course. She’s clearly in the yard, what looks like a very nice yard, and could have used the bathroom proper. Which brings up my next question: no performance anxiety? I’m such an uptight person, clenched so hard, I can’t pee without practically meditating. Clearly Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t have that issue. I have an issue with her dress though. The tulle is a different shade of white. That makes me crazy. I like the back, for sure, and even the heart detail over her heart, but at the end of the day, it looks like a cheap wedding dress, the kind of wedding dress that shows up in a school play in a scene about a wedding. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:17 PM [Donald Glover deserves all the things] [Childish Gambino performs 'Redbone' while shirtless on Fallon ] Lainey told you on Monday to [binge Atlanta] if you haven’t already. I finished the last episode of season 1 yesterday. I was so excited after mainlining those 10 episodes that I starting texting all my friends one thing: “ATLANTA!!!!” All caps. Lots of exclamation points. Over and over. Atlanta is unique, hilarious, raw, real and weird AF. I’m obsessed with every character. I want to marry Earn and make Van my best friend. Believe the hype. It deserves all the things. [Donald Glover] deserves all the things. Fresh off a Critics Choice Award win and a Golden Globe nomination, Donald Glover (as his music alter ego Childish Gambino) performed shirtless on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon last night. I’ll come back to the shirtlessness. First, can I just point out that not only did Donald Glover create one of the best TV shows of the year, he also just delivered one of the best albums of 2016. No big deal. If you’ve followed Childish Gambino’s career, you know that Awaken, My Love! is a revelation. It’s unlike anything he’s ever done. Childish showed up in the game in the post-Kanye hip-hop era when it was becoming more acceptable to be black, nerdy AND a rapper but it still wasn’t accepted as that cool. He was best known for being a writer on 30 Rock, a stand-up comedian and for playing loveable goof Troy on Community. He was subject to, sometimes justified, contempt from music critics for being a pretentious hipster with a chip on his shoulder. His 2011 album Camp was pretty much maligned across the board. While I understood the bad reviews, I kinda liked it. He rapped about his nerdiness and being told he wasn’t black enough, a critique I know all too well. I was a producer for a music show back then and I worked with Childish Gambino when he was promoting the album. When I told him I had also grown up in the suburbs, he looked at me and said, completely deadpan, “Oh, so my music speaks to you.” It did, in theory. The problem was that the music wasn’t always great. It was almost there but at times, it felt forced. Since then, Childish Gambino hasn’t been taken seriously. When Roots drummer Questlove heard the album he [wrote on Instagram] that he woke up D’Angelo at 4am to say, “I thought I was getting some fresh millennial hip hop sh-t and I got sucker punched… I was NOT expecting a trip to Detroit circa 1972.” Awaken, My Love! does have a throwback 70s vibe and it is definitely more R&B than it is hip hop. So much so that it debuted at #1 on the R&B charts. It’s so goddamn good I’ve had it on repeat all morning. Above everything else, it’s SEXY. That brings me back to the shirtless performance on Fallon. If another artist, aside from maybe Lenny Kravitz, decided to go bare-chested in silver pants for a performance on a late night talk show, I would probably make fun of them. Maybe it’s my Atlanta obsession clouding my judgment or it’s the fact that Awaken, My Love! is an album that makes you want to take off your shirt immediately but I am feeling this performance so hard. I’ll stop rambling now so you can watch Childish Gambino turn you on with his performance of Redbone on Fallon. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:47 PM [La La Land loses the lead?] [Damien Chazelle and Emma Stone attend a reception in honour of 'La La Land' at The Arts Club on December 14, 2016 in London, England] We’ve been talking about how this is the most competitive Best Actress Oscar race in years. It’s also looking like a pretty tight race for Best Picture. La La Land took early momentum. Moonlight is surging right now. (If you haven’t seen Moonlight, see Moonlight.) And Manchester By The Sea is right there too, as the film’s lead actor, [alleged sexual harasser] Casey Affleck, is pretty much a lock for Best Actor. The Screen Actors Guild announced their nominations yesterday. Moonlight and Manchester were both nominated for Best Ensemble, the SAG equivalent of Best Picture. La La Land, however, was nominated for Best Actor and Actress (Ryan Gosling and [Emma Stone]) individually, but not in the ensemble category. That may be because the film relies mostly on their chemistry, just two people, known as a “two-hander” but as [The Hollywood Reporter pointed out yesterday], it’s not like other two-handers in the past haven’t been nominated for SAGs. Like The Theory Of Everything and Dallas Buyers Club. So… does that mean La La Land has lost the lead? [Per THR], “only one film in the 21 years in which the best ensemble prize previously was presented was not nominated for it but still won the best picture Oscar”. That said, many films have won the SAG ensemble only to lose at the Oscars. Maybe the lesson here is… no one f-cking knows anything. Here’s Emma Stone promoting La La Land in London yesterday. Damian Chazelle was there too. But no Ryan Gosling. How does he get out of everything? [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:19 PM [Men Discussing Women] [THR's Animators Roundtable] The Hollywood Reporter released their animation roundtable yesterday, which sounds thrilling, I know. The panel includes directors Byron Howard (Zootopia), Travis Knight (Kubo and the Two Strings), Garth Jennings (Sing), John Musker (Moana), Mark Osborne (The Little Prince), Mike Mitchell (Trolls), and [Seth Rogen], because they have to get you to care about this somehow. (Rogen was there repping Sausage Party.) Maybe the problem has already become apparent to you, reading that list of names, but just in case it hasn’t, they’re all men. White men, to be exact. And they spent a lot of time talking about cartoon princess culture and representing minorities. Few things rile up the internet like mansplaining, so of course everyone is type-yelling about this roundtable and the irony of a group of white men talking about feminism and representation. Seth Rogen gets it, and is [cracking jokes about it], but that doesn’t change the fact that THR couldn’t scrounge up even one woman or person of color to join their roundtable. For the record, there is only one female and/or minority animation director of a mainstream animated film this year: Jennifer Yuh Nelson, co-director of Kung Fu Panda 3. That’s not a strong Oscar contender, but why not have her voice in the room? What’s most infuriating, though, is that during the roundtable, no one points out the disparity. They talk about doing more research to better represent the cultures they’re animating, and of the brave decision to not make Moana wear shoes, but no one ever says, “Look around, there’s OBVIOUSLY a representation problem.” As a reader named Kim pointed out, there is an enormous lack of diversity behind the scenes in the animation world, and this roundtable that spends a fair chunk of its time discussing representation totally fails to acknowledge the elephant in the room. On the other hand, Buzzfeed published an [excellent and in-depth look] at how women have influenced the evolution of the Disney princess from the obedient naïf of the [Nine Old Men] to rebellious, headstrong princesses like Belle, Mulan, and Moana. Obviously, there’s still work to be done in the animation sphere. Even Moana, widely hailed as a progressive cartoon heroine, has an exchange with Maui confirming her place as a “princess”. (When Moana insists she isn’t a princess, Maui says, “If you wear a dress and have an animal sidekick, you’re a princess.” I think that’s meant to strip the “Disney princess” label down to its core meaning of “female protagonist”, but in context of the scene it just reinforces Moana’s place as a “princess”.) But there has been progress, and Ariane Lange’s piece connects the opportunities of women to create animated films with the improved representation of women on screen. But none of the male directors on the roundtable even mention the women they work with, even when they have done so in the past. John Musker, in an [interview] with Buzzfeed about Moana, cited the influence of women working with him on the film in designing Moana’s more athletic body type: “And certainly some of the women involved in the film […] were very supportive and more involved in that as well — pushing, ‘Let’s not have her be a wasp-thin woman. Let’s have her be a more realistic body shape…’” Last year THR got raked over the coals for the [actresses’ roundtable] that was also a solidly white group. They actually had to publish an [explanation], blaming it on the lack of quality roles for minority women overall. Undoubtedly this is their reasoning for the makeup of this year’s animators’ roundtable, too. Jennifer Yuh Nelson is the only female director eligible, but Kung Fu Panda 3 isn’t really a contender, so sorry, but it’s not really our fault. Well, I can tell you, Trolls isn’t really a contender, either. So sorry, but if you’re going to deem Trolls worthy of inclusion here, you could just as easily justify Kung Fu Panda 3, and Yuh Nelson by extension. THR wanted to talk representation during a roundtable with animators, and didn’t think it was important to actually seek out a non-white/male opinion on the topic. And they blame the state of the industry for the oversight, when there are people they could talk to. Yes, the studios—and animation houses—need to do a better job of providing opportunities for a more inclusive workforce, but THR and publications like it—Variety is [guilty of this], too—can do a better job of highlighting the ones that are already there, clearing the way for the next generation of women and minorities to help shape contemporary animation, or any area of film, really. We’ve had enough of men discussing women. It’s time to invite some women to speak for themselves. [Source] [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:21 PM Wednesday, December 14, 2016 [Smutty Tingles] [Tom Hiddleston was blanked]! (Dlisted) Michelle Williams [congratulates Michelle Williams] (Just Jared) Katherine Heigl’s [baby shower] (Cele|bitchy) [Ben Affleck talks about JLO] and finds a way to mention Angelina Jolie (TooFab) The never-ending [Love Advent]. How many more days!?! (The Superficial) [Ryan Lochte is going to raise a child] (TMZ) [Zendaya covers Allure] (Go Fug Yourself) [Lady Gaga is sad] in her new video (Jezebel) Who wants to [be an ambassador]! (Pajiba) [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 11:38 PM [Privacy Policy] - [Unsubscribe]