Newsletter Monday, October 31, 2016

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Monday, October 31, 2016 [Intro for October 31, 2016] [Zadie Smith] Dear Gossips, Zadie Smith’s new book, Swing Time, comes out on November 15th. It’s about two friends who meet at a community dance class in the early 80s but only one of them has the gift for dance while the other has the gift of observation. I’m about 75 pages in and already I’m obsessed. But this weekend I had to take a break from Zadie’s Swing Time to read [Zadie’s article in The Guardian] comparing dance to writing. If you haven’t already, make sure you have 10 minutes to yourself, where you won’t be interrupted, so that you can enjoy this sublime piece of work by, well, like I don’t even know how to describe Zadie Smith because I feel so f-cking hard for her in a way that might be unhealthy. But, without ruining it, she manages to work Lord Byron and Keats into a conversation about Michael Jackson and Prince. And draws similarities in absolute artistic control between Joan Didion and Jane Austen and Janet Jackson, Madonna, and Beyoncé. This is the validation of both high culture and low culture, and a declaration, by a literary force, that both are essential. Zadie Smith reads Nabokov. And she also knows the moves to Single Ladies. While we’re talking about Beyoncé though, originally, when it was first posted, the title of this piece was What Beyoncé Taught Me. That has since been changed and I wonder whether or not it was Zadie herself who demanded it. I want to believe that she wouldn’t have cared, that it wouldn’t bother her, given the point she’s arguing here, to have her article presented initially as click bait. [Click here] to read Zadie Smith: dance lessons for writers. Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 12:35 PM [Taylor’s quiet Halloween?] [Taylor Swift performs her only full concert of 2016 during the Formula 1 United States Grand Prix at Circuit of The Americas on October 22, 2016 in Austin, Texas. ] Busy weekend in Hollywood. Halloween parties all over the place. Katy Perry went to several of them. Maybe that’s why [Taylor Swift] went to none of them? Taylor’s been pretty quiet since going to Drake’s birthday party last week. And Halloween can be a good diversion. So here’s the speculation: [Tom Hiddleston] apparently wrapped on Thor 3 in Australia a few days ago. He was not at the wrap party, but neither were Chris Hemsworth or other major members of the cast. But you know how Taylor’s fans track her plane? Well according to them (thanks for all your emails!) Taylor flew from LA to NYC on Friday night/Saturday and then the plane went to London, landing at Stansted airport. Which is also where her plane landed when she and Tom Hiddleston went to visit his family back in the summer. Typically when Taylor goes to London she uses Luton airport. Coincidence or conspiracy? She hasn’t been seen. There have been no sightings on social media. If she was there, whatever she was doing, she was able to lock it down. IF. It’s all an IF. But a couple of weeks ago [in a post about Tom] I wondered if a rebirth was possible, after he was finished working overseas. So if you’re one of those who’s not quite convinced that it was over, I imagine you might be interested. The plane left England today back to the US. So, regardless of whether or not she was actually in London and why, by tonight, we may get an idea of how Taylor does Halloween. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:40 PM [Smutty Social Media, Spooktober 31, 2016] [Armie Hammer, Amy Adams, Tom Ford, Isla Fisher, Jake Gyllenhaal and Aaron Taylor-Johnson attend the photo call for Focus Features' 'Nocturnal Animals' at Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills on October 28, 2016 in Los Angeles, California] It’s Halloween. Why fight it? Instead, I choose to lean in. First, with a baby dressed like Eric Stonestreet’s Modern Family character. [Okay this lil baby takes the cake. #funnymomanddad] A photo posted by Eric Stonestreet (@ericstonestreet) on Oct 30, 2016 at 8:28pm PDT How do you feel about small children dressed as adults? Because Rihanna loves it and so do I. [Halloween goals!] A photo posted by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on Oct 29, 2016 at 1:04pm PDT Taylor Lautner makes a great Ryan Lochte and actually gives impressive side-eye. I wonder if he’s super bitchy in real life. [How many Lochte's is too many Lochte's? We're capping it at 3. #GreatMindsThinkAlike #GoUSA🇺🇸🏅@taylorlautner] A photo posted by Nina Dobrev (@ninadobrev) on Oct 30, 2016 at 5:52pm PDT The Rock’s fanny pack photo. Iconic. [Luv everything about this Halloween post from @amelabee. Especially the part about her being confident enough to wear a crop top being 6 months postpartum. Thank you for the luv you fanny pack wearin' sexy mama. 😉👊🏾💯 "You are my Rock, my Dwayne, my Johnson" @therock #sexydwaynecostume Some girls dress as sexy cats, but not me. I've waited forever to be able to dress up as you! Best costume of all time to be dressed as such a motivational person and someone I look up to so much! I'm #fangirling all day! Mom note: Finally had enough time to get my costume together while my 6 month old baby girl was playing with her toys. Ps: also felt confident enough 6 months postpartum to wear this crop top! #halloweencostume #happyhalloween #longhairdontcare #therock #dwaynejohnson #therocksays #worldchampion #ifyousmellwhattherockiscookin #wwe #fannypack #throwback #flashback #twinsies #candyass #smackdown #turtleneck #halloweenweekend #bling #instalike #instagood #instafollow #momlife #dwaynetherockjohnson #fangirl #halloween2016 #bootstoasses] A photo posted by therock (@therock) on Oct 30, 2016 at 11:07pm PDT Katy Perry was everywhere this weekend – if Taylor has claimed July 4 and Mariah Christmas, Katy is doing the same with Halloween. She hosted a sock hop-themed birthday party and the usual suspects were there: Kate Hudson, Jennifer Meyer, Derek Blasberg – you get the idea. The only person I was surprised to see is Jessica Chastain. Doesn’t really seem like her scene. [This school day was the cat's pajamas] A photo posted by Jessica Chastain (@jessicachastain) on Oct 30, 2016 at 9:58am PDT I don’t understand Salma Hayek’s style at all. She has so many choices –endless amounts of choices. Her husband is CEO of Kering, which owns all or part of St. Laurent, Balenciaga, McQueen. And of course Gucci. So why, at the LACMA art and film gala, did she choose to wear a reiteration of a gown [Gwyneth wore last week]? She has the entire Gucci line and archives to choose from. I don’t get it. [The wonderful colorful 🌎 of @gucci] A photo posted by Salma Hayek Pinault (@salmahayek) on Oct 30, 2016 at 12:18pm PDT Isla Fisher and Amy Adams in the same photo together, proving once and for all that they are not the same person. Unless one is a body double [hired by the Illuminati]. [Dispelling the rumor that Amy Adams and I are the same person #pressjunket #nocturnalanimals #tomford] A photo posted by Isla Fisher (@islafisher) on Oct 28, 2016 at 4:37pm PDT [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 6:42 PM [Get up on this!] [Beyoncé with Blue Ivy and mother Tina on Instagram] Last year [Beyoncé] and [Jay Z]’s Halloween costumes were inspired by Coming To America. This year? They were going to her cousin’s 80s and 90s themed party. So… Salt’n’Pepa. Get up on this! [A video posted by Beyoncé (@beyonce)] on Oct 30, 2016 at 8:30pm PDT It’s three generations of Beyincé women, faithfully paying tribute to a girl group that pre-destined Destiny. RIGHT? By the way, this interpretation [is Salt’n’Pepa approved]. And Jay? Jay is Dwayne Wayne! A Different World! Now, in another place, in another time, what if Beyoncé was Whitley? I almost wish he’d saved this for next year. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:53 PM [Leo as himself] [Leonardo DiCaprio leaves a Halloween party in LA, October 28, 2016] [Leonardo DiCaprio] was at the annual Casamigos Halloween party on Saturday this weekend. His costume? A mask. A wolf mask. The leader of the Wolf Pack wore a wolf mask. So, basically, he went as himself. And they all howled around him, circling their alpha, celebrating his reign. Well, not quite. But almost. Here’s how [Entertainment Tonight] described Leo’s night: DiCaprio seemed to be in great spirits, the eyewitness noted. He was bouncing back and forth from the dance floor to the bar and mingling with everyone in sight. At one point, the 41-year-old actor and Robin Thicke couldn't contain their laughter as they busted out their best dance moves. Leo and [Robin Thicke] on the dance floor busting their moves. Leo in a wolf mask busting his moves. Leonardo DiCaprio, trailed by a pack of little wolves, hootin’ and hollerin’ every time he talks, only instead of “yes, boss” they say “yes, dawg”. I guess in some circles this is real cool. Also attached – yesterday Leo was at the LACMA Art + Film Gala honouring Robert Irwin and Kathryn Bigelow. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:03 PM [Hot Harry & Meghan Markle] [The Express] in the UK broke the news this weekend that [Prince Harry] is dating Suits actress [Meghan Markle]. It’s been 6 months. They supposedly met through charity contacts in Toronto when Harry was here in May. And Meghan spent part of the summer in London which is when they started getting to know each other. According to British gossips, apparently she’s already been to Kensington Palace and has met Princess Kate. Also they wore [matching bracelets]. Meghan is American but she spends a lot of time in Toronto because Suits is filmed here. And now today, [the Evening Standard] is reporting that Harry was actually scheduled to fly to Toronto from London yesterday to see Meghan but cancelled the trip now that she’s a heatscore. There hasn’t been this much heat on Harry’s romantic life since he and Cressida Bonas broke up. Like a rumour here and there – Ellie Goulding was one of them, I think, and maybe some major stretching on Athina Onassis – but nothing with as much coverage as this story, because the others were bullsh-t. Which means that this is definitely not bullsh-t. But how serious? Since The Express had the first exclusive, we’ll go with their source on this: “(Harry’s) in a very relaxed period of his life and Meghan has come along at the right time. They are taking each week as it comes and just enjoying each other’s company but it’s fair to say that they love seeing each other and there’s a definite chemistry between them. Harry has been desperate to keep the relationship quiet because he doesn’t want to scare Meghan off. He knows things will change when their romance is public knowledge but he also knows he can’t keep it a secret for long. It’s too early to say if the relationship will lead to anything long-term but who knows? At the moment they are just taking it a step at a time and seeing how things develop.” So… somewhere in between casual and pre-engaged? More than bootycalling but not quite “I love you”? But what’s the potential? Already the British tabloids are digging into Meghan’s history. She’s been married and divorced and some think that might be an issue for Harry’s family. But, I mean, if ANYONE were to understand that, it would be his dad, non? And also, given that Will and Kate have had their babies, Harry is less and less obligated to adhere to whatever requirements he may have had to follow in his personal life as the once-third-now-fifth in line to the throne. Since his f-ckup in Vegas, Harry has been the most popular royal by far. He’s travelled extensively to represent his grandmother. His work on behalf of veterans has been unimpeachable. Harry’s been banking his bonus points. His personal life would be how he’d cash that in, non? So I guess my persistent Gossip Genie-ing over Harry and Taylor Swift isn’t being answered, at least not right now. Taylor might have her own thing going on though. More on that later. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:42 PM [Madonna & Idris Elba?] [Idris Elba and Madonna arrive at a Halloween party together in London, October 28, 2016] [Idris Elba] is shooting a docuseries for Discovery called Idris Elba: Fighter that follows his progress as he trains to be a pro kickboxer. His training has been a gift to all of us. Example: [Two weeks left. For my Chuuus.] A video posted by 7dub (@7dub) on Aug 9, 2016 at 1:11am PDT Anyway, Idris’s first fight happened this weekend and he won, a knockout [in a minute 55 seconds]. And part of it was documented by none other than Madonna: [Idris Elba Smashes it at York Hall! 👊🏾😂🇬🇧] A video posted by Madonna (@madonna) on Oct 28, 2016 at 5:58pm PDT Afterwards they hit up the same party. According to the UK Sun they were openly kissing, making out. A [source says], “There was nothing subtle about it, no attempt to hide. It was very blatant. They were at the party for about an hour, they would dance, go off to smooch, then mingle a bit more. They only had eyes for each other. That seemed very clear”. So now everyone’s all like, [Madonna] and Idris Elba, they’re a thing. And yeah, totally, it’s a good gossip story. A great gossip story. Madonna and Idris have known each other a while. He DJed an opening set for her while she was on tour last year. What makes this complicated though is that Idris was supposed to be back together with his girlfriend, and mother of his son, Naiyana Garth. They stepped out together in May at the [British Academy Television Awards] after he talked about his distractions, and how they can mess up his life, [specifically his phone]. Presumably he turned off his phone and things improved between him and Naiyana. Just a few weeks ago, Idris wished Naiyana Happy Birthday on Instagram: [@naiyanagarth Happy Birthday Mummy;) ENJOY this day Nai....] A photo posted by 7dub (@7dub) on Sep 14, 2016 at 5:14am PDT So…if Madonna and Idris are really happening, maybe it’s actually not that great after all? But also, here’s what Idris tweeted about an hour ago: I believe him. Do you believe him? [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 1:48 PM [Chris Hemsworth acknowledges his ignorance] [Chris Hemsworth and Taika Waititi] Last year during a “Lone Ranger” themed costume party [Chris Hemsworth]—and his wife, Elsa Pataky—[dressed up as Native Americans]. As you can imagine, that didn’t over very well, but at the time, Hemsworth didn’t really say anything about it. But then, on Friday, he posted a photo to support the Standing Rock Sioux [protesting] the [Dakota Access pipeline] along with Thor: Ragnarok director [Taika Waititi]. In the comment on his photo, Hemsworth posted an apology for last year’s moment of appropriation. [Standing with those who are fighting to protect their sacred land and water. #nodapl #waterislife #mniwiconi @taikawaititi I would also like to take this opportunity to raise something that has been bothering me for sometime. Last New Year's Eve I was at a "Lone Ranger" themed party where some of us, myself included, wore the traditional dress of First Nations people. I was stupidly unaware of the offence this may have caused and the sensitivity around this issue. I sincerely and unreservedly apologise to all First Nations people for this thoughtless action. I now appreciate that there is a great need for a deeper understanding of the complex and extensive issues facing indigenous communities. I hope that in highlighting my own ignorance I can help in some small way.] A photo posted by Chris Hemsworth (@chrishemsworth) on Oct 27, 2016 at 6:49pm PDT “I sincerely and unreservedly apologise to all First Nations people for this thoughtless action. I now appreciate that there is a great need for a deeper understanding of the complex and extensive issues facing indigenous communities. I hope that in highlighting my own ignorance I can help in some small way.” The part that strikes me most? My own ignorance. Chris Hemsworth is doing something almost unprecedented in public discourse, let alone in a celebrity apology: Admitting ignorance. And it’s because of that that I believe Hemsworth is truly sincere, and really apologetic, and that he is and will be better in future for having been checked for an action resulting from privilege and ignorance (a dangerous combination). Compare Hemsworth’s apology to [Hilary Duff] and her boyfriend, Jason Walsh, who stepped in it by dressing up as a “sexy Pilgrim” and Native American chief, respectively. They [both] [offered] standard mea culpas on social media, apologizing only to those they “may have offended”, which is only one step up from “I’m sorry you’re offended”. (And everyone knows a “sexy Pilgrim” costume is a fully-dressed Puritan wrapped up in a sheet with a hole cut out where his/her sex parts are, anyway.) I am SO sorry to people I offended with my costume.It was not properly thought through and I am truly, from the bottom of my ❤️sorry. — Hilary Duff (@HilaryDuff) [October 30, 2016] [I meant no disrespect. I only have admiration for the indigenous people of America. In hindsight I would not have made that decision. I apologize to anyone I may have offended.] A photo posted by JASON WALSH (@risemovement) on Oct 30, 2016 at 12:43pm PDT Walsh says, “I only have admiration for the indigenous people of America.” He doesn’t direct the fault inward, at himself, he blames his bad decision on misguided respect, which is the same thinking that leads people to defend the [Washington GoF*ckYourselves] and [Chief Wahoo] as “honoring” Native Americans. (That sh*t isn’t honoring anyone except a billionaire team owner’s wallet.) This kind of language is more about maintaining privilege than anything else. It says, “I don’t want to be wrong, therefore, I am not wrong.” It’s entitlement in action, and it closes the door on any real exchange that can be had. A reader named Peter emailed me recently about the value of conversation versus shaming when it comes to dealing with cultural offenses. Of course conversation will do more to bring about real change than any amount of social media shaming, but conversation requires LISTENING, which a lot of people simply don’t want to do. For an example of this, look no further than Amy Schumer. Kathleen has written brilliantly about Schumer’s [issues] with [appropriation], but Schumer keeps reacting to her self-made controversies by not listening to f*cking anyone. She makes the [same mistakes] over and over and instead of eventually arriving at the conclusion that maybe she is the one in the wrong, she just heaps on the justifications defending her right to do whatever she wants regardless of how it impacts anyone else. She has, like Tina Fey—and now Hilary Duff and her boyfriend—chosen not to engage. But Chris Hemsworth engaged. And I suspect Taika Waititi’s influence had a lot to do with it. He just spent several months with Waititi, who is Maori. All indigenous issues are not the same, but Waititi makes [indigenous support a priority on his sets]. Undoubtedly, these subjects have been more prevalent in Hemsworth’s life over the last few months than they have at any other time, and he has as his tutor Taika, a very smart man who is also kind enough to take the time to TALK. And Hemsworth listened, and now he sounds truly humbled by this experience. Never thought I’d say this, but if only there were more people willing to admit their wrongs and listen, like Chris Hemsworth. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 1:13 PM [October 31, 2016 – Smutty Shout-Outs] For Nancy from Natasha who is sending you a “broken heart shout-out” because you forgot! And she named a child after you! How can we rebuild this bridge? See below, my excuse to post some classic Madonna. Posted at 12:47 PM [Privacy Policy] - [Unsubscribe]