Newsletter Tuesday, October 25, 2016

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Tuesday, October 25, 2016 [Intro for October 25, 2016] [Elvis Presley] Dear Gossips, Bedtime reading last night was Vulture’s piece on the [70 Greatest Conspiracy Theories in Pop Culture History]. Some of the conspiracy theories are almost more famous than their subjects. Like Elvis still being alive. I mean, God, I wish. Because I was practically an Elvis scholar in early adolescence and one of the things I wish I could un-know and un-picture about Elvis is how he died – on the floor of the bathroom, having been on the toilet before falling over and trying to get help. The people who never believed that Elvis really passed are called “Alivers”. And while the Aliver version of what happened to Elvis is well-known, there are several “truths” that I’d never heard of until I read this story. Like… JK Rowling didn’t write Harry Potter. She’s an actress hired to play the part of the author. WHAT?! Also, we’ve been looking at a clone of Avril Lavigne since 2003. Some conspiracy theories are hilarious. Like Stevie Wonder truthers who insist that Stevie can see. And that there’s no such thing as the Beatles. Some conspiracy theories, however, are super confusing to me. Like how much effort has gone into trying to prove that certain artists aren’t responsible for their own work. This is a stupidly simple thing to say but I just don’t understand why you’d bother claiming work that wasn’t your own. What is the satisfaction in that? If the basis of a conspiracy theory is that you have something to gain, what could possibly be gained by letting someone else do it all? What would it feel like to be acknowledged as having directed a film while you’re in the same room with the person who actually directed the film? Wouldn’t that feel like total sh-t? If you haven’t already, [click here] for the Vulture roundup of conspiracy theories. Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 1:59 PM [Smutty Tingles] On this episode of the [Sasha Answers podcast]: have you ever been addicted to a person? Also, what happens when your boyfriend signs up for a dating site, and should you honour a partner with a tattoo? We came up with an alternative and, if I do say so myself, I think it’s pretty good. “The Catherine Zeta-Jones of dogs” HAHAHAHAHA ([Dlisted]) Ryan Gosling didn’t impress the Gilmore Girls ([Just Jared]) Love this dress on Sophie Hunter and would wear it forever ([Cele|bitchy]) Mel Gibson’s son is the same age as his girlfriend who is carrying a possible new son ([TooFab]) Supposedly Princess Catherine is jealous of Britney Spears and whYYYYYY can’t this be true? ([Celeb Dirty Laundry]) I never saw Hocus Pocus - is something wrong with me? ([Pop Sugar]) This is a great black dress on Kate Beckinsale ([Popoholic]) I would have passed out from anxiety ([Hollywood Tuna]) Lupita and the ELLE cover women ([Go Fug Yourself]) [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:11 PM [Road to Gilmore Girls: Trailer of Melancholy] [Gilmore Girls trailer stills] I love the way the fans are being treated with the Gilmore Girls revival. There is a treat every other week. It’s kind of ironic, because wild horses couldn’t drag these fans away. And this trailer delivers all the goods. Every face you wanted to see, right? There’s Logan! There’s Taylor! There’s OMGJess! There’s Lane, there’s Paris, there’s Kirk(!?), there’s Gypsy, even… …and now I say ‘enough already’. I’ve been struggling a lot with watching broadcast network shows this fall. Even though shows like This Is Us and Pitch are aimed squarely at me, we have evolved as viewers in the past decade (I’ll elaborate more on these soon). Shows are different. They’re much more sophisticated, of course, and give audiences much more credit – but they go at a different pace. Gilmore Girls is of a different time. I’m enjoying my rewatch and also enjoying watching Lainey watch for the first time – but the sophisticated parts of the show, the ones that were ahead of its time—they come piecemeal, because they can afford to. Because 22-episode seasons were the way they were. So, just as I wrote in February, back [when Melissa McCarthy said no one asked her back to Stars Hollow], I want the revival to spend time on what matters. That moment when Lorelai and Rory are crying at the funeral, and you marvel that, years later, their eyes are still the same shade of blue… I will take that over Sookie splooging all over the kitchen—even though I know how much more effort went into the latter. Ultimately, I don’t care about Taylor. Like Lorelai, I want to skip the town tour. Call it blasphemy if you must. None of this feels happy. All of this, even Michel’s gold MacBook, feels melancholy. And that’s exactly what I do care about. I care about Rory always trying to be a little less rigid and Lorelai always realizing, in retrospect, that maybe she should have been. I care about Emily, and what doesn’t spark joy, and that she doesn’t know how to ‘do’ this (I had a fleeting moment of vomit-glee when I hoped 'this' was therapy). It’s more important that these women reconcile their still-evolving feelings with money and men and the loss of Richard Gilmore (and, if I’m not wrong, no eyes on Christopher?) and what it means to be rootless or unsettled, a decade or more after you ‘follow your dream’. The whimsy and the escaped pigs and even, one could wager, [First Ladies], are just the decorations – the juice of this show has always been in how the hard stuff doesn’t ebb away even if you have endless food and coffee, the roles we write for women and what we’re supposed to do when they’re not enough, and how the people who love you also want more from you than you think you can give, sometimes. Maybe the show does fit into our modern era, after all. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:34 PM [Leo & Trump] [Leonardo DiCaprio at LA screening of Before The Flood, October 24, 2016] [Leonardo DiCaprio] at the LA premiere of Before The Flood last night. National Geographic [will air the documentary] commercial-free and un-geogated on October 30th. In other Leo news, there was an article posted at the Daily Beast yesterday called [Inside Donald Trump’s One-Stop Parties: Attendees Recall Cocaine and Very Young Models] and the reason this is relevant here is because Leo shows up. Author Michael Gross shares his experience encountering [Donald Trump] at all his various New York parties etc and then this paragraph: I also wrote a book about the modeling industry and heard stories about Trump but didn’t write them because he wasn’t important in it, just another rich guy buying a date farm, perhaps for his friends, perhaps for himself. This wasn’t pejorative, just how things were. (Leonardo DiCaprio, at the height of his “Pussy Posse” fame, [thanked Trump for offering “one-stop date-shopping.”]) One-stop date-shopping! I mean… it’s not like you didn’t know this about Leo. It’s not like you’re unfamiliar with his girlfriend requirements. But do you ever really stop to picture how that happens? What does the “one-stop date-shopping” actually look like? What happens when two men both have their dicks set on “May” or “August”? Or “Blonde #17”? Is it like an auction? Do they pass out paddles at the door? [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:59 PM [Drake & Taylor: the Apple couple] [Taylor Swift and Drake ] [Drake]’s 30th birthday was yesterday. There was a party on Sunday in LA to celebrate. [Rihanna] was not there which is a sure as sh-t sign that they’re off right now. She, by the way, is in New York, and was seen today on the set of Oceans Eight. But Katy Perry showed up. And John Mayer. And apparently they spoke and there was no drama between them. Also there? [Taylor Swift]. No interaction reported between Taylor and Katy or Taylor and John. However, HOW.EV.ER. According to [Page Six], Taylor did spend a lot of time with Drake. We’re told Drake joined Swift in her booth after the dinner where they “were intimately flirting, talking closely and laughing. The only person he spent more time with other than his mom was Taylor,” the source said. Taylor being Taylor, she would have known about the guest list. So, given that she’s showing up to a party and expecting to see two of her nemeses, there’s gonna have to be some incentive. And, the way I see it, that incentive would likely have had to come from Drake himself. They’ve been friends for a while. They’ve been friendly for a while. You remember what song she was running to when she fell off the treadmill in her Apple Music ad? Taylor and Apple are tight. Drake and Apple are also tight. It is his “[preferred platform]”. Taylor and Drake are undeniably Apple’s most treasured artists. So these two are business allies for sure. But… could it be anything more? Well, sh-t. The gossip potential here would be f-cked up to another level. And, certainly, beyond professional partnerships, beneficial to both for gossip reasons. For Taylor, a romantic association with Drake is all kinds of street cred, in her mind. For Drake, to be in Taylor’s life, when she previously flexed her allegiance to Kendrick Lamar, I suppose that might matter too. This is basically Bad Blood on maximum potency. And we haven’t even talked about Rihanna yet. Because if Drake and Taylor are really a thing, like a THING thing, I’m not sure there’s any going back with Rihanna, [tattoos or not]. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:21 PM [Drake, Kid Cudi and #YouGoodMan?] [Drake/Kid Cudi] Yesterday, [Drake] turned 30. Lainey wrote about how he released three new songs over the weekend [to celebrate his birthday]. One of those songs is called Two Birds, One Stone and it features direct jabs at Kid Cudi. If you need a reminder, [Kid Cudi] (Scott Mescudi) is the rapper/actor from Ohio responsible for songs like Day and Night, Pursuit of Happiness and Man on the Moon. A few weeks after [going on a bizarre rant] where he called out former friends Kanye West and Drake on Twitter, Cudi posted an emotional letter to Facebook informing fans that he is battling [depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts]. He announced he would be entering a rehab facility to seek treatment. Kid Cudi’s announcement was met with overwhelming support and sparked a conversation about masculinity, hip-hop and mental health. It inspired the hashtag [#YouGoodMan?] where Twitter users shared their favourite hip-hop songs related to mental illness and created a forum for black men to tell their stories. I’ve written about [black masculinity in the past] and the expectations put on black men to be tough, impassive, and hyper-masculine. When it comes to mental health, those expectations translate to stigma and silence. The #YouGoodMan hashtag moved me because it was a beautiful reminder that social media can be a place of acceptance and positivity. It also stirred something in me because I have watched men I love suffer in silence, crippled by the fear stigma creates and worried that admitting they weren’t “good man” would mean that they also weren’t strong enough or man enough. Now, keeping all of that in mind, please take a look at what Drake raps about Kid Cudi on Two Birds, One Stone. “You were the man on the moon, now you go through your phases/ Life of the angry and famous/ Rap like I know I’m the greatest and give you the tropical flavors/ Still never been on hiatus/ You stay xan and perked up so when reality set in you don’t gotta face it.” It doesn’t matter that Cudi called out Drake first or that diss tracks are ingrained in hip-hop culture. There is no excuse for suggesting depression is a phase or going after a guy when he’s at his lowest. I don’t care if Drake recorded this song before Cudi’s announcement. He could have easily dropped the line. Some online commenters have pointed out that Drake has never dared to diss Kendrick Lamar, who has called him out a few times, but he’s gone after marginally talented Meek Mill and now Kid Cudi, when he clearly is in no position to respond. Drake’s Kid Cudi diss is especially frustrating considering Drake is usually the one applauded for his sensitivity and fearlessness when it comes to sharing emotions in his music. This is why I’m a fan. Drake, with his sad love songs and soft cadence, is supposed to be the rapper who challenges antiquated notions of masculinity instead of reinforces them. With this diss, Drake is proving why Kid Cudi’s mental health admission was so brave at the outset. In the midst of yesterday’s backlash, VerySmartBrothas.com asked, “[Is 2016 The Beginning of the End for Drake?]” On one hand, Drake has had one of the best years of his career. Views was a massive commercial success. On the other, there have been a few times this year where Drake has proven he’s one of the least woke artists in the year of Wokeness. He doesn’t seem to be aware of anything going on around him. His music is restricted to complaints about #girlproblems and why these girls won’t text him back when his peers are either releasing music that reflects the f-cked up times we’re living in (Beyoncé, Solange, Kendrick) or pushing themselves to produce their greatest works (Frank, Rihanna, Chance). Oh, while the pieces were rolling in about how tone deaf Drake’s Kid Cudi disses were yesterday, Drake was posting pictures of all the [luxurious gifts] he [got for his birthday on Instagram]. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:50 PM [Serenity in New York] [His Serene Highness Prince Albert II of Monaco and Her Serene Highness Princess Charlene of Monaco attend the 2016 Princess Grace awards gala at Cipriani 25 Broadway on October 24, 2016 in New York City] It’s been a while since we caught up with [Princess Charlene] of Serene of Monaco. She and [Prince Albert] were in New York last night for the Princess Grace Awards Gala. This is such a lovely dress on her. Those green flowers are so pretty against the white fabric. And I like her hair a little spikey like that. The Cambridges try to keep their children out of the public eye as much as possible. The Grimaldi twins step out a little more often than their British counterparts but it’s not like we see them every week. It’s more like every few months in between sightings. Mostly recently, in the summer, Gabrielle and Jacques were photographed, exclusively, at a garden party so low key I totally missed it and am only seeing these for the first now – [click here] - and then Jacques joined his parents in September for an official event without his sister. Looks like he’s going for the same hairstyle as Sacha Casiraghi: The British royal babies probably wouldn’t be allowed to grow their hair this long, would they? Big G has to keep his all neat and short and English proper. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:06 PM [#AmySchumerGottaGoParty] People were joining in on that hashtag before they knew what [Amy Schumer] did – or if she even did anything except, you know, be Amy Schumer. When I looked up the hashtag on Sunday night, I had to scroll for a while before I realized that a) yes, Amy Schumer did something and b) for the love of sweet baby Blue Ivy, I wish I could un-see that something. Amy Schumer thought it would be a good idea to “parody” [Beyoncé]’s Formation video. It is worse than it sounds. So much worse. I’m using “parody” loosely here because watching Amy Schumer, [Goldie Hawn] and the rest of the female cast of whatever movie they are shooting in Hawaii gyrate around and attempt to twerk to Queen Bey’s lyrics was not funny. It was dumbfounding. I’m not sure I have never been more confused. I said, “What is happening?” out loud to myself approximately every 7 seconds of that video. Formation is an anthem for black women that addresses police brutality and unapologetically celebrates black culture. In this clip, Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn are purposefully butchering choreography for the apparent punchline: “Look! We’re white women lip syncing to Beyoncé! It’s funny ‘cause we’re white!” They are also both wearing t-shirts that say “Texas Bama.” This is the line in Formation the shirts are referencing: My daddy Alabama / Mama Louisiana / You mix that negro with that Creole / Make a Texas Bama That term has serious racial connotations. Jesmyn Ward [wrote beautifully about its history for NPR] when Formation first dropped. In the song, Beyoncé proudly claimed her background as a badge of honour, instead of something to be ashamed of. Amy Schumer put it on a t-shirt and expected us to giggle. In a climate where so few pieces of pop culture are made for and by black women, Lemonade feels uniquely our own. Personally, Lemonade means so much to me it’s hard to articulate. Lainey and I both [wrote about its feminist] and [cultural importance] when Beyoncé first gifted us with her masterpiece. All of this is why Amy Schumer’s dumb rip-off is so confounding. It’s unnecessary, unfunny and unoriginal. I don’t give a sh-t if Wanda Sykes and another black woman are in the video. I have no idea what Wanda is doing there. I want to call up Wanda and ask her what in the hell she was thinking. I may be projecting here but I’d like to think that maybe Wanda felt like she couldn’t say no to this since she had to go to work with these people the next day. Whatever the reason, Amy Schumer does not get a pass because Wanda Sykes decided to play along with her bullsh-t “spoof” video. Since Twitter came hard for her, Amy had no choice but to respond. You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation. Thanks for the exclusive release Tidal! We had so much fun making this tribute. All love and women inspiring each other.#strongertogether [You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation. Thanks for the exclusive release Tidal! We had so much fun making this tribute. All love and women inspiring each other. #strongertogether] A photo posted by @amyschumer on Oct 24, 2016 at 1:10pm PDT Oh yeah, this steaming pile of crap they are calling a “tribute” was EXCLUSIVELY RELEASED ON TIDAL. I’m going to come back to Amy’s response but can we talk about this Tidal release for a second? Jay Z is a part owner and the face of the streaming service. Lemonade was exclusively released on Tidal. If this was a Tidal exclusive, the assumption is that Mr. or Mrs. Carter, or both, approved the video. If Beyoncé saw even one frame of Amy Schumer’s Formation and thought it was suitable for public consumption, it will be the first time I have seriously questioned our Queen’s judgment. If Beyoncé approved this crap, I don’t understand life. If someone else at Tidal approved it without consulting her, they are already fired. So, Amy Schumer decided to address the firestorm of criticism she is receiving for the video by posting a partially nude shot of herself, quoting Beyoncé AGAIN, and saying, “All love and women inspiring each other. #strongertogether” Here’s the problem with Amy’s flippant response and her attempt to fall back on feminism and togetherness in defense of her video. She [doesn’t have a great track record for standing up for women]. She’s been dragged [for racially insensitive jokes]. She’s also a white woman who enjoys the privileges that come with that title every day of her life. She can’t pick and choose when being “together” suits her. Amy Schumer doesn’t get to use black women for her jokes without any awareness of appropriation or without taking ownership of her thoughtless, problematic actions. Listen, I’m not saying Lemonade’s significance means it’s untouchable. SNL did a hilarious sketch called Melanianade parodying Sorry that I loved. The difference is that skit was actually a thoughtful political satire making a feminist statement. And it was done well. As Lainey wrote, you can’t, “[borrow from Beysus and make it weak.]” My point: I’m rolling up to the #AmySchumerGottaGoParty like this: [via GIPHY] [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:21 PM [Privacy Policy] - [Unsubscribe]