Newsletter Friday, October 14, 2016

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Friday, October 14, 2016 [Intro for October 14, 2016] [Billy Bush] Dear Gossips, Billy Bush, not surprisingly, has hired a high-powered LA attorney to help negotiate his departure from NBC after “Grab ‘em by the pussy” became the catchphrase of the year. Marshall Grossman is now representing Billy. And while he has not yet filed a lawsuit on behalf of his client, his comments about the situation suggest that he and Billy believe they have a case. Yesterday, Marshall Grossman told [The Hollywood Reporter that]: "If Billy had been passive or responded 'Shut the f-ck up' to Trump, Billy would have been out of a job the next day.” OK. But even if that were true, it doesn’t explain what happened when they got off the bus. If you haven’t already, watch the video: So they’d already been talking about Arianne Zucker with their dicks in their hands when the bus pulls up. When they get off the bus, after greeting one another, she asks if they’re ready to head to set. They could have just made their way over to the set. Instead, Billy decides to jump in with, “How about a little hug for the Donald? He just got off the bus”. Right. When did it become a job requirement for Billy to become Donald Trump’s hug pimp? Thirty seconds ago they were leering at her legs, basically picturing her naked. The minute they’re in her presence, Billy’s setting up body contact. That’s not part of the goddamn job. Nobody’s getting fired if he doesn’t grossly facilitate an opportunity for Donald’s chest to make contact with her breasts, slimy f-ck. Can’t wait to hear the rationale for that. Have a great weekend! Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 1:00 PM [Zoe Kravitz and Karl Glusman] [Zoe Kravitz and Karl Glusman out in New York with Taylor Swift and friends, October 13, 2016] I [posted photos yesterday] of [Zoe Kravitz] holding hands with presumably her new boyfriend who has since been identified. They stepped again together last night, again with Taylor Swift’s crew, again holding hands. His name is [Karl Glusman]. He’s an actor. He’s in the upcoming Nocturnal Animals, directed by Tom Ford, starring Amy Adams, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson. And he’s currently working on Sam Taylor-Johnson’s Gypsy for Netflix. Not sure how long he and Zoe have been together but this showed up on his Instagram last week: [It is written] A photo posted by karl glusman (@karlglusman) on Oct 6, 2016 at 2:20pm PDT OK kids, so how does this work? Because I hear stories about this all the time from the millennials around me. Dating in the era of social media: if she’s on his Insta but he’s not on hers, does it mean anything? An unofficial poll of the non-famous people in my life says that drama can sometimes ensue when one makes it social media official and the other doesn’t. But it also could be different with famous people when one is more famous than the other. That said, when Zoe was with Twin Shadow, they were both Instagramming each other. Before you go around huffing that this is a stupid conversation, let me assure you that this is a real thing. I’ve just been told that fights happen all the time when two people are dating and the social media statuses don’t match up. Final observation – he is wayyyyyyyy cuter when he’s wearing better clothes. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:54 PM [Serena & Taylor] [Taylor Swift, Serena Williams, Dakota Johnson, Karlie Kloss, Cara Delevingne out in New York, October 13, 2016] Earlier this week [Taylor Swift] stepped out with Lorde, [Cara Delevingne], and [Dakota Johnson] to see Kings Of Leon. And, [as I wrote yesterday], as Lorde, Cara, and Dakota aren’t known for fake branding, I wonder if it kinda asks you to consider if that might validate Taylor in some way. Last night, it was another show (Eliot Sumner), and a new addition – [Serena Williams], the Greatest Of All Time. Holding hands with Taylor. They’ve hung out before; Taylor brought Serena out on stage in London when she was on tour last year: Serena doesn’t need to be squad-ing around with Taylor Swift for whatever personal or professional gain. I feel like we can all agree on this. So… if she’s hanging out with Taylor Swift, is she enjoying hanging out with Taylor Swift? [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 6:11 PM [The Other Jonas’s Virginity] [Joe Jonas out in LA, October 12, 2016] The Jonas brother who isn’t Nick (or the third who doesn’t count) talked about his penis size in a [Reddit AMA] and no one cared. What people do seem to care about is what Joe said about losing his virginity to [Ashley Greene]. Remember when they were a thing? Joe was 20, still part of the Jonas Brothers and Ashley was still recognizable as that girl from Twilight who wasn’t Kristen Stewart… or Nikki Reed… or Anna Kendrick. So, That Jonas Brother and That Girl From Twilight dated for a while and he lost his virginity to her. He told the story on Reddit like this: “It's quite the great story because I didn't have any condoms, so I went to our drummer, Jack's room, who was my roommate at the time and I demolished his room looking for them… Found them underneath his underwear drawer. When he came home, he thought somebody broke into his room because his whole room was demolished because I was in dire need. Needed to happen then and now. Safety first, kids.” That is not a great story. It’s a terrible story. It’s not funny or interesting. Every 20 year old has searched their roommate’s room for condoms. This is a basic human rite of passage. I’m assuming [Joe Jonas] was asked directly about said virginity because if not, this whack ass story is an insult to Reddit and the Internet as a whole. Joe was in a boy band for his horniest years. You’d think he’d have a better sex story than this. Anyway, Ashley Greene has maybe responded to Joe’s dumb story. She Instagrammed a cryptic message as one does when they are passive aggressively trying to reach an ex in 2016. [A photo posted by Ashley Greene (@ashleygreene)] on Oct 12, 2016 at 8:18am PDT Good one, Ash. I took some time to try to put myself in Ashley’s position. Is Joe’s story just dumb or is it gross and “low classy” as Ashley is maybe suggesting in her super subtle post? I immediately thought of Wilmer Valderrama’s [infamous interview with Howard Stern] where he bragged about taking Mandy Moore’s virginity – or implied it at least. That was gross, hands down. Is this scenario less gross because Joe is talking about losing HIS virginity instead of taking Ashley Greene’s? It might be good for gossip but it’s still a bit tasteless to talk about sex with an ex so publicly no matter what the circumstance, right? So far, the headlines I’ve seen have called Joe’s Reddit AMA “candid” and “hilarious.” What if this was a female celeb boasting about rummaging around desperately for condoms and revealing the famous dude she lost her V-card to? I don’t know if the response would be laughter. Sadly, if this was Miley Cyrus’s AMA, I think the headlines would look a lot different. Now, it’s time to judge me for being gross because I spent way too many minutes of my life watching the new DNCE video Body Moves and feeling unexpectedly inappropriate things about The Other Jonas. Judge me or be gross with me. Your call. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:23 PM [Smutty Social Media, October 14, 2016] Sometimes I love throwback Thursday/flashback Friday. This is one of those times (and I don’t even like these movies): Orlando and a very youthful Elijah Wood getting tattoos with the rest of The Lord of the Rings cast. Viggo Mortensen and Sir Ian McKellan! [tbt to when we all got tats cos we loved so much] A photo posted by orlandobloom (@orlandobloom) on Oct 13, 2016 at 1:32pm PDT Hmmm, you think Sasha Baron Cohen would want to forget about Bruno. And what’s with using a stock photo with a stamp, is that part of the joke? [Happy Birthday to my husband. #oneandonly ❤️] A photo posted by Isla Fisher (@islafisher) on Oct 13, 2016 at 3:06pm PDT Yes Kate Hudson is at a party, what’s new. But do I spy Jennifer Garner? Do you think Reese could talk her into Instagram? Show me your fresh baked bread every Sunday, Jennifer Garner! [Loved this night out 😜A little after @tiffanyandco party💍 #GreatNight ✨✨✨✨#WorkingWithTiffany] A photo posted by Kate Hudson (@katehudson) on Oct 14, 2016 at 1:09am PDT Ellen Page is still waiting on Kate Mara. [Ummm where dat post? @katemara] A photo posted by @ellenpage on Oct 13, 2016 at 6:37pm PDT There’s monogrammed, then there’s Jenny Slate’s t-shirt. [I just bought this for myself. Thank you @femininitees for making this t-shirt! Thank you to every single person who took a long look at what's going on and said that party affiliation doesn't have to mean that you chose between decency and degradation. As Michelle Obama said this morning "This is NOT normal." I believe that humans are good. I believe that we should go out and vote as a joyous expression of our power to promote our human kindness. Also, this shirt rules. Im gonna keep it forever as a gentle reminder of how far things went.] A photo posted by Jenny Slate (@jennyslate) on Oct 13, 2016 at 3:30pm PDT Carrie Fisher has a similar tweeting style to Cher. Okay. More than enuf w/ the trumster (🌱♓️✌🏼️♏️📧💲 〰ℹ✝️♓️..)🕒📧🅰️♈️ℹ♑️⛽️ 4️⃣ ℹ✝️🅰️🕒✌🏼️ 2️⃣ 🅿️🕒🅰️✌🏼️ 🅰️ 〰ℹ✝️©â™“️ ℹ♑️ 🅰️ ♏️🅾️♈️ℹ📧❕〰ℹ✝️©â™“️ ♓️🅰️💤📧🕒 — Carrie Fisher (@carrieffisher) [October 11, 2016] How Retta spent Treat Yo Self! day. [It's the best day of the year. You already KNOW what I'M doin. #TreatYoSelf #ErrrDay] A video posted by Retta (@unforettable) on Oct 13, 2016 at 4:21pm PDT Look I’m as sick of this election as everybody else. I want to get back to talking about Brangelina. But how did Megyn Kelly keep a straight face? And they wonder why Hollywood hates them [pic.twitter.com/7YJxixbzVf] — JORDAN OKUN (@Jzokun) [October 11, 2016] [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:49 PM [RDJ’s marvelous opportunism] [Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey attend the MPTF 95th anniversary celebration with 'Hollywood's Night Under The Stars' at MPTF Wasserman Campus on October 1, 2016 in Los Angeles, California] See the corny sh-t I did there? Mark Zuckerberg has been building an AI for his home. Kinda like Tony Stark has a Jarvis. Or had a Jarvis. I have very mixed feelings about AI. I mean, sure, what happens when they get real and turn on you one day? Or, worse yet, break up with you for your best friend? But, sh-t, think of the convenience. Like when you’re working and you don’t want to get up from your thoughts but you’re hungry, the AI can put your leftovers in the microwave and lunch happens without you having to get up. Do you know much time is wasted in the everyday getting and warming of lunch? Anyway, Mark posted on Facebook yesterday asking his followers who should voice his AI. And look who responded: [Robert Downey Jr] offered. Kind of. But what he was really doing was promoting both Paul Bettany, as the voice of Tony Stark’s Jarvis, and, mostly, Benedict Cumberbatch whose Doctor Strange is coming out in a couple of weeks. Doctor Strange is Marvel’s current major focus. To my knowledge, RDJ and Iron Man are not in Doctor Strange, although I don’t have nerd beat programmed on my Google alerts so don’t quote me on that but the point is, RDJ is on it. For a decade now RDJ has been Marvel’s best spokesperson. And best paid (on camera) person. Is he getting a cut of Strange too? [Source] Attached - RDJ with wife Susan at Hollywood's Night Under The Stars earlier this month. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:57 PM [Kevin Hart's ambition] [Kevin Hart attends 'Kevin Hart: What Now?' Philadelphia Screening at UA Riverview 17 on October 12, 2016 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania] It's rare to find a celebrity who isn't polarizing. The most famous—especially in the social media era –are simultaneously adored and detested. Gwyneth, Kanye, Taylor, Kanye's wife, Angelina. These are some of the most famous people in the world and yet for every person who loves them, I could find you one (or two) who HATES them. [Kevin Hart] is not polarizing. I don't know anyone who doesn't like Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart sells out arenas. He opens big at the box office. He is beloved. He's basically America's sweetheart. You don't get to that level of likability without being savvy. In a new feature with Esquire, Kevin Hart talks about his third stand up film Kevin Hart: What Now? which is in theatres today. The magazine calls him "[the most ambitious man on the planet.]" Ambition is not a dirty word for men like it can be for women but for black men, sometimes ambition has limits. [Forbes] just named Kevin Hart their highest paid comedian. What Now? follows his show at Lincoln Field in Philadelphia in front of 53,000 people. He’s the first comic ever to sell out an NFL stadium. That’s a big f-cking deal. To Esquire, he credits his success to “hard work and dedication.” Well, yeah. It’s obvious Kevin Hart works hard. The man is never NOT touring. If he’s not shooting a movie with The Rock, he’s shooting Ride Along 15 or whatever with Ice Cube. He is always working. “It's always more. It always can be more. I'm never content.” The Esquire interview is basically just more of the same clichés about work ethic. Kevin Hart works HARD. We get it. I want to talk more about his ambition and his strategy. Hart is very strategic. Sometimes his jokes are raunchy but rarely offensive. The critiques that he doesn’t speak up enough about important issues may be accurate but not everyone needs to be a Woke Bae. This is part of Hart’s mass appeal. Everything he puts out on social media or shares in interviews feel very authentic and yet, he never shares too much. He’s been on a media blitz hustling on every show and I have yet to see anything proclaiming Hart said something dumb. Instead, he’s sticking to what he does best: making people laugh. Even when he’s commenting on Britney at her lowest to make a point about fame, he’s still funny without being a d-ck. "Fame is false. This sh-t ain't real. It can be snatched from you. Look at how many stars they build up to beat down… Look at Britney Spears when she was the hottest thing ever. Then Britney went through a meltdown and everybody is like 'Well we don't know about this f-cking chick here.' Then she got back again and everybody was like, 'We love you Britney!' It was like 'What?!' You're f-cking all over the place people." If you read anything in Kevin Hart’s voice, it’s hilarious. Seriously, try to watch any of the following videos without at least breaking a smile. I dare you. My only beef with Kevin is the lack of Halle Berry on this press tour. She’s in all of the trailers. Where’s Halle? Kevin plays “Would you Rather” with Fallon: Kevin tries to do an interview while eating spicy wings - this one brings the LOLs at around the 9:15 mark: Attached - Kevin at the premiere of Kevin Hart: What Now? in Philadelphia the other night. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:26 PM [Emma Stone corrects herself] [Emma Stone] covers the November issue of VOGUE. She is, currently, the frontrunner for Best Actress Oscar for her performance in La La Land. La La Land opens in December but has already been screened in Venice, Telluride, and at TIFF and was overwhelmingly well-received. Sarah, who is generally anti-musical, couldn’t even resist it. Read her review [here]. I love the photo they chose for the cover. It reminds me of how magazine covers used to be in the 80s. Is it twee? Maybe a little. But, to me, not pukey twee. Or maybe that’s because I like her so much. I like that the photo is focusing on her eyes, how expressive they are, and I like her with a pixie cut like this. She looks great in a pixie cut. As for the article – this is all about the undeniable talent and versatility of Emma Stone, who sings and dances and is serious and funny and, in a relatively short time, has become one of the most respected actors of her generation. Oh, and she once played backup tambourine for Prince at the Saturday Night Live 40th anniversary party. While her foot was bleeding. It’s a fairy tale. Which is supposed to mirror the fairy tale told in La La Land, where dreamers come to chase their dreams. And Emma’s the one whose dream came true. Super meta. Emma gives just enough here to make it interesting, just enough to spin off quotes that can be covered on the blogs – the way I’m covering it here – without risking one major headline that would obscure the point, the point being that there’s a trophy at the end of this ride. She tells a story about being at a party at Paris Hilton’s house and walking in on someone vomiting into a closet. She acknowledges that she is indeed single now after ending her four year relationship with Andrew Garfield, “Someone I still love very much”. My favourite part, however, is when she talks about gender pay equality and catches herself using the kind of language that betrays the way we’ve been conditioned to think: “We should all be treated fairly and paid fairly. I’ve been lucky enough to have equal pay to my male costars.” She stops herself. “Not ‘lucky.’ I’ve had pay equal to my male costars in the past few films. But our industry ebbs and flows in a way that’s like, ‘How much are you bringing into the box office?’ ‘How much are you the draw or is the other person the draw?’ I felt uncomfortable talking to my agent or lawyer about it because I was like, ‘Do people want to see me as much as they want to see Steve Carell?’ It’s a weird conversation to have because it’s trying to see oneself from the outside. It’s automatic, isn’t it? To describe equality as a fortunate circumstance as opposed to a standard? And then to question the expectation of equality based on comparison? Oh wait. If I ask for what I think I deserve, will people think that I think that I’m as good as X, or Y? And if they do, will they then think I’m full of myself? That is the ongoing indignity of existing for so long in second class. Not only do you have to fight to get a seat in first class, you spend the entire time there doubting whether or not you belong. [Click here] to read the full VOGUE piece on Emma Stone and to see more photos. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:46 PM [Blame black women for Nate Parker’s mediocrity] [Nate Parker attends 'The Birth Of A Nation' International Premiere screening during the 60th BFI London Film Festival at Odeon Leicester Square on October 11, 2016 in London, England] The Birth of a Nation opened last weekend to OK numbers and less than favourable reviews. If you haven’t heard, black women are to blame for the mediocre opening of a mediocre movie. To recap, this is the film written by, directed by and starring alleged rapist Nate Parker. Some self-identified black feminists (including me) wrote about their [conflicted feelings about the film] and their individual decisions about supporting The Birth of a Nation. Over the past few days, these women with opinions (how dare we) have been accused of singlehandedly taking down the movie. This piece posted on Medium was the catalyst for the onslaught of blame. It’s called [Birth of a Nation’s Box Office Flop and The Unrepentant Pettiness of Black Feminists.] It’s even written by a black woman. I can’t with this entire BS rant. I had to stop halfway through before I broke actual things on my desk I can’t afford to replace. Here’s a gem: Birth of A Nation has flopped in the box office and we have black feminism, which is just fancy cyber vernacular for “I hate black men because I always choose the wrong types of black men to entertain” and their male minions to thank. Oh, the old ‘feminists hate men because they were rejected by them’ trope. How refreshing. Is your left eye twitching with rage, yet? Just mine? Maybe this tweet by well-known black journalist Roland Martin will put you over the edge: I'm sick & tired of reading sisters on my social media accounts say that they won't see [@NatTurnerFilm] because [@NateParker]'s wife is white. — rolandsmartin (@rolandsmartin) [October 12, 2016] This is where I, like I do often when the words in my brain have been replaced with expletives and angry face emojis, quote Roxane Gay: “[This] is so absurd and facile it would be laughable if it wasn’t so f-cking pathetic. Who even knew about Nate Parker’s wife? Who the hell cares? No one with any goddamned sense.” I didn’t know Nate Parker’s wife was white until the 60 Minutes interview a couple weeks ago. This hasn’t come up in a single conversation I’ve had with black women about the issue in the months I’ve been writing about this movie. This is a bullsh-t and offensive reason to justify why *some* women pulled their support of the film. Focusing on Nate Parker’s white wife instead of his rape case and the arrogant and unrepentant behaviour he’s displayed over this entire press tour is ridiculous. The Nate Parker BOAN press tour should be preserved forever and catalogued under ‘this is how NOT to promote a movie.’ But no, it couldn’t have been the alleged rapist with no redeeming qualities’ fault his movie underperformed a bit at the box office. Of course, it’s not his fault for creating a movie Sarah called, “an average actor/director vanity project” [in her review]. Nope. It was the black women. Bridget Todd wrote a [hilariously sarcastic piece], which also ran on Medium, in which she points out that it’s absurd that black feminists plotted to take down this film and succeeded. “When I heard the news that Nate Parker’s Birth of a Nation was a giant flop with both critics and the box office, I laughed heartily to myself while I lovingly stroked my copy of This Bridge Called My Back that I keep next to my jar of male tears… we Black women are drunk off of the power that comes with controlling every aspect of society.” Think of how ludicrous it sounds to accuse black women of having enough influence and power to conspire to bring down a film with Oscar buzz and big studio backing when we aren’t even seen as influential enough to be represented proportionately on screen? If black feminists wielding keyboards had that much power I can assure you that orange piece of sh-t predator would have already been banished to Palm Springs or wherever it is rich f-cks go to retire from life, the Obamas would be serving 10 more terms, and Iggy Azaelea wouldn’t be a thing. Actually, we might have taken care of that last one. I do think the conversation about Nate Parker’s rape case was a factor in the film’s faltering support but why aren’t we blaming the mainstream media outlets or reviews written by white writers which mentioned Parker’s past or gave the film a poor review? Why are we blaming anyone other than the filmmaker? In Roxane Gay’s essay about this topic called [The Burden of Black Art] which I quoted earlier, she talks about the pressure that is placed on black audiences if black films don’t succeed. She mentions how f-cked up it is that black women are being chastised for not blindly supporting this film out of some sort of unspoken duty to our race. “Other movies about black lives, past and present, WILL be made. And this brings us to the burden of black art, which is expected to be consumed mindlessly and uncritically so that it might succeed so that more black art can be made… We need the chance to be flawed and to create flawed black art without the fate of all black art and black artists hanging in the balance.” Usually, I do feel the burden of supporting a film solely because it is created by black artists out of fear its failure will mean more black art won’t be made. It’s one of the reasons I was so conflicted about The Birth of a Nation months ago. But shouldn’t I be able to decide if a film isn’t worthy of my time and attention without being called a traitor to my race? If staying home or going to see Queen of Katwe instead of Nate Parker’s mediocre mess of a movie makes me a petty black feminist, I’m OK with that. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 1:59 PM [October 14, 2016 – Smutty Shout-Outs] [Happy Birthday, Salima! ] Salima! Happy Birthday from your husband John! He wants bonus points for sending this in. Make him work for it tonight! [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 1:13 PM [Privacy Policy] - [Unsubscribe]