Newsletter Wednesday, September 28, 2016

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Wednesday, September 28, 2016 [Intro for September 28, 2016] Dear Gossips, Have you seen Ali Wong’s breakout comedy special Baby Cobra on Netflix yet? Ali is also a writer on Fresh Off The Boat. She is funny, she is smart – SO smart – and she is a hustler. [Much has been made] of Ali’s decision to perform onstage pregnant, not hiding her pregnancy, or avoiding it, but mining her pregnancy for humour while being as irreverently sexual and provocatively gross as possible. You remember at the Emmys when Alan Yang, during his acceptance speech for Master Of None, talked about the lack of Asian representation in entertainment? He referenced Long Duk Dong. Long Duk Dong was the “standard” for far too long. But it’s changing, slowly. Margaret Cho was alone for a long time without a peer. Now there’s not only Alan but Constance Wu and Randall Park and Ali Wong and a growing community of Asian artists with growing profiles, demanding a place in spaces where they were not just previously unwelcome but where people previously couldn’t even imagine them. Ali Wong is making it increasingly impossible to not know her and she’s just been featured in [The New Yorker]. What I love about this piece is that the writer not only highlights Ali’s undeniable talent but also her work ethic. She has a 9 month old baby at home. She still goes out every night, from bar to club to pub, to try out new material. Sometimes it’s two stops, sometimes it’s five stops. It was her habit before the baby and it continues to be her habit now that she’s a mother. And as for her own mother, Tammy? Her response when asked if she always knew Ali’s humour was special: “I don’t know. I had four kids. So I was busy.” [Click here] to read the full article. I promise it’s worth your time. Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:08 PM [Smutty Tingles] Justin Bieber’s fans understand him the most, obviously. The rest of us take him at face value ([Dlisted]) I can’t wait to see Lupita on Billy On The Street ([Just Jared]) Kiefer Sutherland understands why Julia Roberts Runaway Brided him ([Cele|bitchy]) James Corden joins the Backstreet Boys ([TooFab]) Lindsay Lohan tries to help ([The Superficial]) There’s a mystery girl in Nick Jonas’s life and …is it a mystery if no one is asking who it is? ([TMZ]) Oh I totally love this outfit on Jennifer Connelly ([Go Fug Yourself]) Owen Wilson on holiday in France ([Evil Beet]) One of these guys looks like Zac Efron, another looks like Joaquin Phoenix from Gladiator, and there’s a hint of Justin Timberlake in the third ([Pajiba]) [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:36 PM [SJP: Divorce & LBDs] [Sarah Jessica Parker at LAX, September 27, 2016] [Sarah Jessica Parker] was photographed at LAX yesterday, presumably to do more press for Divorce, premiering on HBO October 9. I just read a really great review of Divorce [at Variety]. And I don’t mean the show is great but the review itself, the way it's written, is great. “Divorce” was created by Sharon Horgan, writer and star of “Catastrophe,” who brings the same acerbic wit and tonal experimentation of that U.K. import to HBO’s decidedly non-British comedy about a couple trying to… uncouple. “Catastrophe” played with the growing pains of coming together, of trying to get serious after the honeymoon period has passed. “Divorce” is, in some ways, about how separation is easier declared than executed. The two shows each occupy a different part of the relationship life cycle, but the narrative is essentially the same: the messy, incomprehensible webbing of intimacy, and how it enmeshes or entraps us. “Divorce” has the added edge of ensuring, in its title, that at least in the traditional sense, this story doesn’t have a happy ending. The show is the darkest of comedies, funny in the way the twist of “Gone Girl” is funny — an examination of how marriage makes fools of all of us, when it doesn’t entirely estrange us from ourselves. It does, doesn’t? Make fools of us? At best, marriage makes us foolishly silly. And/or blind. In some cases, marriage makes us hypocrites. In other cases, marriage makes us regret. Or I could just be reading this through the lens of World War Brange and the fact that I’m a product of my parents’ own marriage, divorce, and reconciliation a decade later. I know, right? Who does that? Witnessing the process of them getting back together between the ages of 16 and 18 has probably f-cked me up for life. Like, wait a minute, what? Don’t you remember how hard it was? And you want to do that…again?! What’s interesting to me though about Divorce is how it might unpack the intricacies of tearing a joint life apart, and how that might be similar to the ways in which that life was put together. When you get married, you decide about money, and home, and children, and pets, and time. When you get divorced, you decide about money, and home, and children, and pets, and time – with the help of a lawyer. My marriage will be 15 years old in November. Sometimes I mention it on The Social and people applaud. This makes me uncomfortable, partly because I’m superstitious but also because I wonder if the applause takes into account the work of it, the active and exhausting work of staying married. There is active and exhausting work that goes into a “good” divorce too. And the people who manage it deserve the applause too. In other SJP news, she announced yesterday that she’s capitalising on Divorce and all the facetime she’ll get out of it and launching her own line of Little Black Dresses: the SJP LBD. I’m excited about this. Because the “LBD” is often so literal –short, tight, slinky. And the one she’s been wearing is none of these things. [Well folks, I've teased you long enough. It's time for the big reveal. Introducing: the SJP LBD. A new collection of Little Black Dresses designed by me, all made proudly in the USA. Our first silhouette (a surprise!) will launch this October exclusively at @bloomingdales, with more designs to follow soon thereafter. Including this one, which I've been practically living in. Follow us on @sjpcollection so you don't miss a beat. The wheels (and doors) never stop spinning... X, SJ] A video posted by SJP (@sarahjessicaparker) on Sep 27, 2016 at 1:45pm PDT [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:11 PM [Fantastic Beasts has no owls] [Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them trailer stills] But it does have a really cool golden bird. A new trailer for Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them has come out and this one gives a better look at Newt Scamander’s many fantastic beasts, among them, a golden bird that is maybe a thunderbird. There are, however, no owls. Am very disappointed as I got a [great grey owl] as my Patronus which is awesome because I f*cking love owls, those majestic, vicious little [murder beasts]. There’s also some kind of horse-dragon suckface monster—if anyone knows what that is supposed to be, hit me up. I want one. I’m still all over this movie and very into the look—the magic looks so smooth and wonderful, as performed by fully adult wizards and not bumbling children who have to shout their spells at the top of their lungs and hope that does the trick. And I REALLY love how [Colin Farrell] looks. In general, yes of course, but specifically as the bad guy in this movie. Super into that undercut. We also get a glimpse of [Ezra Miller] as his lackey who looks like his suit is too tight. And there’s a hint that Grindelwald is the new franchise villain? The only thing I’m not really feeling is the magic politics stuff. Don’t care don’t care don’t care. The Star Wars prequels made the mistake of thinking we wanted to know all about trade deals, and I really hope Fantastic Beasts isn’t expecting anyone to give a f*ck about a magic election. Sometimes fantasy writers, when stretching their universe beyond its original boundaries, think that means explaining the nitty gritty functions of that universe, but it really doesn’t. All you need is a consistent set of rules for how your universe works and we can fill in the rest as characters behave in accordance with those rules. I don’t actually need to know how American wizards are electing their leaders, just that they have one. In the past I’ve picked on the DC movies for blowing up their budgets and spending so much making the movie it’s impossible for them to be profitable by anything other than press release standards, which is an [ongoing issue]. Lest you think that’s just a DC vs. Marvel thing, don’t worry. I’ve heard the exact same complaints about Fantastic Beasts. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 6:45 PM [Smutty Social Media, September 28, 2016] Protect the face! [....Think I broke my nose (spellchecked edit)....or it definitely feels like it..... 😩👊🏾👊🏾] A photo posted by 7dub (@7dub) on Sep 27, 2016 at 5:21am PDT Dr. Oz is the new Dr. Drew. [Dr. Oz evaluates my health.] A photo posted by Judd Apatow (@juddapatow) on Sep 28, 2016 at 8:16am PDT I bet Lee Daniels has good dish. [Squad. Atlanta with @queenlatifah @theoriginalbigdaddy and @iamnaomicampbell #star. #fox] A photo posted by Lenny Kravitz (@lennykravitz) on Sep 27, 2016 at 1:27pm PDT Why do Diddy and Cassie break-up all the time? Is it because he never takes his sunglasses off? [#aboutlastnight #mybaby #myqueen] A photo posted by PUFF DADDY (@iamdiddy) on Sep 28, 2016 at 1:11am PDT Jessica Biel gets ready for her [return to TV]. [So what if someone else used to park here ... it's MINE now. #TheSinner] A photo posted by Jessica Biel (@jessicabiel) on Sep 27, 2016 at 12:12pm PDT G goes make-up free for 44. Given her popularity, I would have expected more public birthday wishes. Bey didn’t mention it, neither did Solange. No Drew, Nicole Richie, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson or Jessica Seinfeld. Not even Tracy Anderson. Which makes me think maybe it was intentional? Would wishing her a Happy Birthday on Instagram be considered uncouth? [#nomakeup for my 44th birthday, embracing my past and future. Thank you for the instalove #goopgoesmakeupfree @goop] A photo posted by Gwyneth Paltrow (@gwynethpaltrow) on Sep 27, 2016 at 5:49pm PDT This is such a great concept for a food show, I can’t believe it hasn’t been done before. You need the right caliber of “star” though, like a Mindy Kaling or a Cameron Diaz. I don’t want to watch a reality show star make a soufflé. But with Drew’s connections, that shouldn’t be a problem. [On @foodnetwork tonight! Flower Films proudly premiers our new show STAR PLATES. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did making it. This evening is the awesome @mindykaling and the wonderful @marcuscooks #greatcollaborations #foodwithlove] A photo posted by Drew Barrymore (@drewbarrymore) on Sep 27, 2016 at 1:21pm PDT I’ve been watching Selena Gomez’s social media because it’s been quiet – eerily quiet – since the last [back-and-forth with Bieber]. A break from social media is never a bad thing for a celebrity her age. But still, she managed to be the first to reach 100 million Instagram followers. She hit that before Beyonce, before the First Family of Social Media Receipts, before Katy or Taylor. And I wonder if reaching that milestone is gratifying in that your fans still think of you, or scary because there is no way of stopping the machine. [@revivaltour] A photo posted by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on Aug 15, 2016 at 5:40am PDT [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:50 PM [Taylor’s Tuesday night dinner] [Taylor Swift has dinner in New York with Cara Delevingne, Suki Waterhouse, Lorde, Jack Antonoff, Brooke Shields, and Sienna Miller, September 27, 2016] [Taylor Swift] is back in New York. On the weekend she was in LA for Liberty Ross’s birthday. Liberty is married Jimmy Iovine. And everyone has to be nice to Jimmy Iovine. Here’s Taylor dancing with Mick Jagger (you can see the backs of their heads): [That time when you stood behind Mick Jagger and Taylor Swift whilst LL Cool J rapped at an LA birthday party. #wasthatallreal #bonkers #prettyawesome #onlyinLA #beverlyhills #taylorswift #llcoolj #mickjagger @llcoolj] A video posted by Pip Sansom (Williams) (@pipular) on Sep 25, 2016 at 1:00pm PDT And a collage of her with a lot of other famous people: [Just one of those nights you party with @taylorswift @djcassidy @therealmaryjblige @miriamsternoff @thelarryjackson @latelateshow @mickjagger @jimmyiovine @libertyross #taylorswift #mickjagger #maryjblige #jamescorden @applemusic 🎶🎶🎶] A photo posted by O'NEAL MCKNIGHT (@onealmcknight) on Sep 25, 2016 at 2:15am PDT [US Weekly] reports that Taylor also spent time there with Gwyneth Paltrow who, you’ll recall, is credited with setting Taylor up with Jake Gyllenhaal. Anyway, last night Taylor stepped out in NYC for dinner with [Cara Delevingne], [Lorde], Suki Waterhouse, and met up with [Sienna Miller], [Brooke Shields], and Jack Antonoff. She doesn’t look like she minds that you know that she and her posse are still tight. And this was happening while [Kanye West] was performing in Nashville, what she considers her home town. And in her home town he performed the song Famous three times as his audience shouted “[F-ck Taylor Swift]”. If you need a reminder, the lines from that song that Taylor objected to go as follows: I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex Why? I made that bitch famous When he interrupted her onstage at the VMAs where she won for a song we can barely remember…over Single Ladies. SINGLE LADIES. Anyway, at the time, Taylor Swift was not the superstar she is now. Could you say that she was what Tom Hiddleston was before, you know, this summer? Could she say that about Tom Hiddleston? “I made that bitch famous.” God I would love her to. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:11 PM [The Cumberbatch-Hiddleston circle jerk] [Tom Hiddleston covers Interview Magazine ] [Tom Hiddleston] covers the [new issue of Interview], interviewed by his friend [Benedict Cumberbatch]. The conversation basically goes like this: Benedict thanks Tom for taking the time. Tom thanks Benedict for taking the time. Benedict asks a question. Tom thanks Benedict for asking the question, answers the question, and then politely asks Benedict a question in return. Benedict thanks Tom for asking him a question in return, answers the question, and sends one back to Tom. It’s riveting, no sarcasm intended. But probably not riveting in the way they intended. Like I could give a f-ck about their actual answers. I’m reading this as a play on manners. Like the seed of a sketch on Saturday Night Live: two posh British men in discussion. How British is it to talk about NOT talking about gossip? This is how they get around [Taylor Swift]. BC: I agree. How could you deny that impetus, having witnessed it firsthand? I can't even imagine what effect that must have on you. And there's another weight of us being in the public eye, which is this presumption that, because your work and your promotion work is very public, your private life should be, too. And, without getting into a huge debate, I just want to say that I'm not going to ask questions about my friend's personal life just because there are unsolicited photographs of him and a certain someone, in a relationship or together. I'm not going to get into that. So that door is closed, dear reader. TH: [chuckles] Thank you. BC: You're welcome. I know you'd do the same for me. And, going back to this responsibility of being a public figure, you said you felt really grateful for the things that came with that responsibility, these extraordinary experiences. Are there particular thoughts about experiences in your childhood, adolescence, twenties, and now your thirties, that you are grateful for? UNSOLICITED photographs? OK. Sure. Paps hang out in Rhode Island on the rocks by the shore all the time. But, you know, thanks for mentioning something without mentioning it because that segue from South Sudan to celebrity was natural and not obvious at all. Oh yeah. Read it yourself when you’re done here. Benedict’s oblique reference to Tom’s relationship with Taylor comes RIGHT AFTER they discuss his humanitarian work with UNICEF. But there’s a reason I wanted to post about Benedict and Tom’s circle jerk in this position on my blog. The article immediately preceding this one was written by Duana about [Lin-Manuel Miranda’s interview with Variety]. Duana pulled out one quote in particular that says everything about the difference between LMM and Cumberbatch-Hiddleston. Here it is: “I had an early sense of mortality — I think that comes with growing up in New York City. So getting as much stuff done before you’re dead is a huge motivating factor for me. I’ve always approached my life and my work thinking, ‘How much can I get away with doing before I go?’” You see where I’m going? Hamilton is a story that celebrates the achievements of an immigrant. As [LMM specified himself] when he addressed the University of Pennsylvania earlier this year: “Immigrants get the job done.” It’s an urgency, the same urgency that compels him to get has much done “before you’re dead” as possible. That’s the urgency that informs [Lin-Manuel Miranda]’s life ethic and work ethic. Now juxtapose the spirit in his words with the nearly 600 words exchanged between Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston in the middle of their discussion for Interview during which they both trade sighs about how much they work and how worried they are about how much they work, while they’re on the phone with each other, one looking out “over a very European landscape” and the other on the Australian coast, shooting a movie in “blue skies and sunshine”. Seriously. Read those two pieces back to back ([here] for LMM in Variety and [here] for BC and TH in Interview) to get the full effect. It’s really, really funny. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:21 PM [Lin-Manuel Miranda, redeemed in New York] This is more like it, KATHLEEN. Not only is this [Variety cover of Lin-Manuel Miranda] much more representative of what he actually looks like than certain fashion covers [from a week ago], it’s also him in his natural habitat of New York (if by ‘natural’ you mean casually leaning against lampposts, as you do). Which makes all the difference. The article drops just as we learn that LMM is hosting Saturday Night Live on October 8th, proving that the more Hollywood calls, the more he retreats to New York, creatively and success-wise. I was neither born nor raised in New York, but I understand it. I love it. It’s evident that New York is its own world, and that the people in it could give a sh-t about anyone else’s approval. New York is its own reward. As he points out in the article: “I had an early sense of mortality — I think that comes with growing up in New York City. So getting as much stuff done before you’re dead is a huge motivating factor for me. I’ve always approached my life and my work thinking, ‘How much can I get away with doing before I go?’” This, I think, is why appearing on the cover of GQ can feel so dissonant, [KATHLEEN]. Not quite because of the cheesiness of “If you can MAKE, It, There”… exactly… but because it felt like that cover was about “Look, he’s attractive even to the mainstream!”, and like a bunch of obstinate teenagers, we don’t like something once it’s mainstream. It’s not just being contrary. Nobody ever became truly successful trying to appeal to a mass audience. Specific is what kills. You couldn’t say “Hey, write a book about a boy wizard at wizard school, that’s a license to print money.” No roomful of executives thinks “a musical based on a biography of a long-dead historical figure, that’s the ticket.” In fact, they would actively steer you away from such endeavors. The people who persevere in such strange specific stuff? They’re nerds – unabashedly so, and it still bears repeating that embracing your nerd-ness is what will lead you where you’re supposed to be. Lin-Manuel Miranda is a total nerd – I mean, the best line of the whole thing is when they say he once did a math project that set the song “For The Longest Time” to “For the Law of Sines” – and that same instinct is what steers him to Hamilton, to New York, to specificity, which in turn becomes universal. So even though he’s been everywhere lately, there’s no rush to appeal to everyone, which I think, ironically, is why he remains so appealing. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:50 PM [World War Brange: the magazines choose Brad] [Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie cover US Weekly ] Check out the cover of the [new issue of US Weekly]. If you only saw the headline “Her Plot To Destroy Brad”, would you have guessed it was US Weekly? I would have thought it was STAR Magazine. Or In TOUCH Weekly. Or Life & Style. But Brange has always been a moneymaker, no more so than now, now that they’ve imploded. And it would seem while [Angelina Jolie] took her side online first, with TMZ, [Brad Pitt] has chosen to feed the magazines, PEOPLE first and then US Weekly. What’s interesting here though is that while US Weekly’s cover is demonstrably and undeniably pro-Pitt, none of the details inside are all that fresh. There’s some reporting here about how Angelina rented a house in advance which supports the suggestion that she’d been engineering an escape all along and sources who say that she’s been strategising a move to England and a possible entry into English politics –but that kind of speculation has been around for months, well prior to the airplane incident. The main point the magazine is pushing is that Angelina has engaged in a “smear campaign” against Brad, while Brad presents himself as someone who wanted to go classy all the way in their divorce in order to protect the children, hoping that public opinion would favour him because everyone is still f-cked up over how ugly and how sensational this situation has become. If you read the print version of US Weekly, however, there is one detail that hasn’t made it online yet. One detail that hasn’t been picked up, yet. It’s buried in the story, in the print version, and it has to do with what went down on that plane. Let’s recap the plane: They were flying back from France. There was an argument. Maddox supposedly became involved. The argument was so heated that the authorities were called. Last week, Brad Pitt’s sources confirmed to PEOPLE that there was indeed an incident that got out of hand. They stressed, however, that while Brad and Maddox went “nose to nose”, Brad did not strike his son in the face. Those two points were then removed from the original story posted at PEOPLE.com, leaving only Brad’s team’s assertions that he regrets that he lost his temper but at no point became violent. [Click here] for a refresher of my analysis of that curious PEOPLE.com edit from last week. So. Even his team can’t deny that a very intense argument went down. It’s the specifics of that argument that are being debated. Given that the specifics are in dispute, with Brad claiming that Angelina has exaggerated the situation to her advantage and Angelina claiming that Brad’s behaviour was so alarming she had no choice but to mobilise against him, this is the bit of information in US Weekly’s story – the print version – that, for some reason, hasn’t gotten a lot of play. Or ANY play. When Jolie and Pitt boarded the private VistaJet plane from Nice, France, en route to L.A. September 14, their marriage was already beyond repair. “Their arguments,” says the Pitt friend, “progressively became more frequent.” They had another blowout during the 14-hour flight. At some point, Pitt, who had been drinking, allegedly became enraged and began yelling at Jolie. “When Maddox intervened to protect Angelina,” says a Jolie source, “Brad got up in his face and screamed at him to mind his own business.” Another insider claims closed-circuit footage exists of Pitt getting “physical” and causing “damage to the plane itself.” (According to TMZ, when the plane stopped in International Falls, Minnesota, to refuel, Pitt disembarked and tried to drive off in a fuel truck.) Damage to the plane itself. That’s a pretty explosive detail, non? And it’s an explosive EXCLUSIVE detail. Which is the word that gives us all an instant erection. If you have an exclusive detail like a source telling you that Brad Pitt’s temper may have caused “damage to the plane itself”, why wouldn’t you make a bigger deal of it? As I [wrote on Monday], I told you to watch for Brad’s counterattack. Brad’s had a few days now to coordinate his media response to Angelina’s first strike last week. Last week was Round 1, this week is Round 2, and it was expected that Brad would take it. If this is a battle then, she would have anticipated that he would mount some kind of rebuttal; it was his only option. So now that she’s seen what that looks like, it now becomes about how she’s going to answer back. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:31 PM [The Crown is Netflix’s next obsession] [Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge and Prince William, Duke of Cambridge arrive in Whitehorse during the Royal Tour of Canada on September 27, 2016 in Whitehorse, Canada] Netflix is having a helluva year. Stranger Things dominated summer, though The Get Down was [the better show]— and a pretty incredible six hours of storytelling—Luke Cage premieres this Friday and is sure to inspire a thousand thinkpieces, and yesterday they released a trailer for their fall drama, The Crown, about the early years in Queen Elizabeth II’s reign. Netflix is rumored to have spent a hundred million or more on The Crown, making it their most expensive production to date, and every cent shows on screen. The locations, the clothes, the detailed recreations of famous royal jewels—just the trailer is eye-popping. This show looks GORGEOUS. Aesthetic pleasure aside, the story looks compelling, too. [Claire Foy] stars as twenty-five-year-old Elizabeth at the time of her coronation. [Matt Smith] stars as Prince Phillip, and while he isn’t a dead ringer, he is tall and handsome, which Prince Phillip was back in the day. The casting is really good—it doesn’t look as if they put resemblance over ability, yet everyone looks vaguely like their real-life counterpart in that movie way of being close enough to accept but not so similar as to be distracting. John Lithgow is striking that balance as Winston Churchill. He doesn’t look like Churchill, yet he’s unmistakeably Churchill. I love shows and movies about the behind-the-scenes lives of royals—I re-watch The Young Victoria all the time when it comes on TV, and I even tried to get into E!’s terrible soap opera, The Royals—and Netflix has spent a lot of money to make a drama about the behind-the-scenes reality of QEII’s ascension to the throne. It’s like this show was made specifically for me. I can already tell I’m going to be obsessed with The Crown come November. Are you? Attached – [Prince William] and [Catherine] continue their tour in Canada. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:45 PM [Privacy Policy] - [Unsubscribe]