Newsletter Friday, September 23, 2016

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Friday, September 23, 2016 [Intro for September 23, 2016] [Emma Watson and Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada attend the HeForShe 2nd Anniversary Reception at Museum of Modern Art on September 20, 2016 in New York City] Dear Gossips, What’s your Patronus? If I were single and that was the opening line, I’d be inclined to stay for at least a drink. Pottermore introduced [Patronus discovery] yesterday. Here’s mine: [My #Patronus is not My Sharona.] A photo posted by Elaine Lui (@laineygossip) on Sep 22, 2016 at 6:40am PDT Did you get an “unusual” too? What’s the difference between an “unusual” Raven and a regular one? And what if you don’t like your Patronus? A Patronus is supposed to be produced when you go to your happy place. My gossip happy place used to be Brange. Is that why my Patronus is a Raven? When I think of a Raven I think of Edgar Allen Poe, studying the poem in school, that taunting asshole of a bird who just keeps repeating “Nevermore” over and over again. [Wikipedia] tells me that in ancient Greek times, ravens were originally white, and used as spies, until Apollo burned his raven for bringing back news that his girlfriend had cheated on him. Which is why the Raven turned black. Gossip Raven! In the Hebrew Bible, ravens broke the rules by f-cking on Noah’s Ark during the flood. Rogue Raven! Um, also, “the Rabbis believed that the male raven was forced to ejaculate his seed into the female raven's mouth as a means of reproduction”. Kinky Raven! I’ll take it. [Click here] to find your Patronus, if you haven’t already. Hermione’s Patronus is an Otter. Here’s Emma Watson at the UN sessions this week celebrating the HeForShe campaign with Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Have a great weekend! Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 1:30 PM [Smutty Tingles] So it's my birthday soon and Jacek is "whisking" me away somewhere tonight. I don't often get "whisked" because I am a control freak. This trip is a surprise. All I know is that I'm supposed to meet him at the airport. Since I'm a dick who can always find something to complain about, even though this is very exciting, this presents a packing dilemma. I have decided to not pack much at all. Hopefully where I'm going is ideal for acquisitions. Anyway, my point is that I'm heading out to enjoy my birthday weekend but if some major Brange sh-t goes down, I'm on it and I'll be here. Have a great weekend! I have been obsessed with this all week and need to try one! ([Dlisted]) Amal and George don't like being apart ([Just Jared]) Priyanka Chopra says Tom Hiddleston made her twirl. Of course he did. ([Cele|bitchy]) Oh wow. Is Ava Phillippe about to be a thing? ([TooFab]) Jennifer Aniston: first photos since the Brange split ([TMZ]) Cory Feldman is doing it for a higher power ([The Superficial]) These pants. I wish Jessica Simpson would just stop with these pants ([Hollywood Tuna]) Not sure this was the right hair choice with this dress ([Go Fug Yourself]) Johnny Depp is unloading property ([Evil Beet]) [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:13 PM [Adam, Behati, and yes…] [Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo] The rumours are true. Dusty Rose. [Adam Levine] and [Behati Prinsloo] named their baby Dusty Rose. Incredibly, this is not the first Dusty Rose I have been acquainted with. As a teenager, I was a day camp counselor, and one session, a girl walked in and announced her name was Dusty Rose*. Math-wise, I’d assume she had been born circa 1990 or 1991, when dusty rose, the colour, was happening in houses across North America, our mothers caught in its collective grasp, helpless to stop themselves, like something out of an SNL sketch. Oh, and she wasn’t ‘Dusty’, either. Dusty Rose, thank you. But…that was a long time ago. Baby Prinsloo Levine is going to have no such cultural moment to point to when people ask ‘your name is what?’ I have no idea. I don’t know where this came from, I cannot imagine that a woman whose first name is Behati, and who, I have to assume, has benefitted from being the most well-known bearer of that name, choosing Dusty Rose because she thought she loved the colour. Maybe they think it sounds musician-y? My friends at Nameberry have more on where [Dusty Rose comes from], but I still don’t know why you choose it. Again, can you really see ‘Dusty Rose’ as an organic chemist or a financial analyst? I’m a hypocrite because I’ve worked in this business my whole life, but can these people really not think of a life for their children outside the entertainment business? Then again, maybe it’s another hypothetical celebrity decoy name, like Hayden and Rachel with ‘Briar Rose’, the name of their daughter that was also the secret, hiding-in-plain-sight secret name for Princess Aurora in Sleeping Beauty. Here’s the thing, if this is the case… You know how there are people/teens supposedly making thousands of dollars helping name babies? I will happily open a business exclusively for giving real celebrities fake decoy names to name their children so nobody guesses/pursues their real ones. Pass it on. *No idea where this now grown woman is and don’t want to violate her privacy, BUT she was at camp with another family member who had a geographic name. So…maybe there was some name matching going on here?! [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:02 PM [Mediocre Bastards] [Bastards trailer stills] It’s fall, which means it’s time for trailers for award bait films, holiday-season tent poles, and the utter dreck that gets buried out back during January. This post is about a road-comedy movie starring [Owen Wilson] and [Ed Helms]—guess which category it falls into? The movie is called Bastards and Wilson and Helms star as brothers searching for their biological father. There are a bunch of people that I like in this movie, including [Glenn Close], [JK Simmons], and Katt Williams, and Helms is genuinely underrated as an actor (see also: Cedar Rapids), but my goodness does this movie look bad. The title card says Coming Soon but the internet says this movie opens in January, which makes sense. With past successes like The LEGO Movie and Deadpool, and upcoming gambles like The Dark Tower and Black Panther, February is evolving into a companion to November—a mix of major and modest fare, capable of supporting one really big movie per month. There’s always the caveat that comedy trailers can be misrepresenting, but like with the [Keeping Up with the Joneses trailer], I’m not seeing anything here that screams “memorable joke”. In fact, I’m not really seeing anything that screams “joke”, period. January remains a dogsh*t month for movies, and Bastards looks like it will be right at home. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 6:48 PM [Smutty Social Media, September 23, 2016] Idina Menzel’s first magazine cover, which is kind of crazy. [Hanging at Billboard listening to my new album and they have my first magazine cover ever! #memories] A video posted by Idina Menzel (@idinamenzel) on Sep 23, 2016 at 8:36am PDT Kristen Bell’s new show The Good Place is getting pretty good reviews. It’s my homework this weekend. [#TheGoodPlace] [#BTS] [pic.twitter.com/rkdG9yhIgx] — Kristen Bell (@IMKristenBell) [September 20, 2016] Katy Perry has found her Disney prince. This should end well. [❤️when you find your prince❤️] A photo posted by KATY PERRY (@katyperry) on Sep 23, 2016 at 6:35am PDT I don’t think Brad will be taking Melissa up on this offer. He has enough problems right now. Hey [#BradPitt] come on over, we can watch [@Chiefs] I'll roll ya a big one...we've got a lot to talk about [#Brangelina] [#brangelinadivorce] — Melissa Etheridge (@metheridge) [September 21, 2016] Mrs. West said that members of Taylor’s squad contacted her after she threw down receipts on Snapchat. Who do you think reached out? I’m guessing Gigi, as a peacemaker. She has interests on both sides. [yesterday 🕶] A photo posted by Gigi Hadid (@gigihadid) on Sep 23, 2016 at 3:34am PDT And speaking of the squad, everyone knows Taylor loves Det. Olivia Benson. Everyone loves Det. Olivia Benson. But [this article] posits that TV shows (like Law & Order SVU) make police brutality acceptable. Definitely worth a read this weekend . [#HappyMonday #HappySVU18Week #HappyDaysAreHereAgain #ComeOnGetHappy #HappyHeart #JoyfulHeart] A photo posted by Mariska Hargitay (@therealmariskahargitay) on Sep 19, 2016 at 11:49am PDT I’m on my second viewing of the pilot of This Is Us. I just don’t know about this yet. But these two do have great chemistry. Hangin with my [#TVWife] [@TheMandyMoore]. [#ThisIsUs] MV [pic.twitter.com/mCVwuLyW0H] — Milo Ventimiglia (@MiloVentimiglia) [September 21, 2016] Chris Pratt responded to this tweet in the most Chris Pratt way. This morning I watched him co-host LIVE! with Kelly and he just gave away a trip to Mexico to a woman who got her trivia answer wrong (he gave her a second chance because there was “still time”). Kelly is half-laughing, half bewildered. Is he genuinely this nice? Is that possible? Just met this dude [@prattprattpratt], great guy! Go see [@mag7movie] this Friday. [pic.twitter.com/VyRXFwihNn] — Kevin James (@KevinJames) [September 19, 2016] Thanks Kev! Great meeting you too buddy. Everyone be sure to check out [#KevinCanWait] premiering tonight! [ — chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) [September 19, 2016] [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 6:23 PM [Brad’s PEOPLE appeal] [Brad Pitt] [PEOPLE.com] has new post up, yet another in favour of [Brad Pitt], this time a character defence of Brad from a “family source". Basically the source is saying, and repeating, that Brad is an amazing father and would never want to hurt his children: "He is one of the best dads I have ever known," says a source who knows the family and children well and has spent time with them for many years. "He's very good at keeping things calm and telling them how they should be behaving, reminding them to be kind, to be respectful to each other. He has always been there for the kids." "He does care so much about the kids and he cares about them having structure and routine, but that is because he is wonderful dad," says the family source. "I have never heard him or seen him being pushy or hurting them, or being too tough with them, at all." "He would always be the one to kneel down and talk to the kids. He would communicate with them on their level," says the source. "He didn't dismiss them or act like it wasn't his problem. He cares so much about what they need and how to help them." "I have teenagers, I know the challenge they can be, but he is simply a good person, and he has a good heart and nothing can take that away from him. He comes from a wonderful family and is such a good person." You know what’s sad about how we talk about parenting? And this isn’t just about this situation but an observation in general. That it’s become so common to refer to someone as a “great mom” or a “terrific father”, like the title of being a mother and a father need to be qualified by those adjectives, as if it shouldn’t already be implied in the role. It’s like saying, “Oh, X is a good pilot because he can fly a plane”. Yeah, that’s the DEFINITION of being a pilot. Of course this happens because we’ve seen so many cases of people – all kinds of people, famous and non-famous – NOT living up to the parenting role. Anyway, this was an aside, and, really, has nothing to do with the Brange conversation. So. Yet another pro-Brad story in PEOPLE ….to balance the TMZ Laura Wasser/[Angelina Jolie] point of view? PEOPLE is a logical choice for Brad. Because PEOPLE is the MiniVan Majority. And so many members of the MiniVan Majority are still carrying a lot of hate for Angelina Jolie from the Jennifer Aniston days. Brad’s team has to be counting on that. What, though, is PEOPLE counting on? I wonder if there’s some dealing going on here. Choosing between Brad and Angelina is not easy. It’s not like Angelia, the [master media strategist], wouldn’t be aware of how PEOPLE is leaning. And it’s not like she wouldn’t remember. So you could say it’s a risk. A risk that has to pay off. How…and when…will it pay off for PEOPLE? Keep an eye on this once all the drama is settled, eventually. And when Brad has to start promoting new projects. Will PEOPLE get a world Brad Pitt exclusive? [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 6:09 PM [Scarlett Johansson unplugs from the Matrix] [Scarlett Johansson in Ghost in the Shell ] I know Ghost in the Shell comes from a super famous manga comic from the 1980s, but the teasers just released for the movie make it look like a knock-off Matrix. The teasers, which you can watch below in one video, are just a few seconds each and reveal distinct visuals with no context. We get a good look at [Scarlett Johansson] as “The Major”, the role that kicked off another round of [whitewashing] accusations, and we’re told “this is just the beginning”. In more ways than one—no matter how good this movie ends up being, ScarJo and director Rupert Sanders are going to be repeatedly asked about the decision to cast a white actress in that role. The five teasers—none longer than fifteen seconds—are obtuse and strange, and the sound on the title card is legit unsettling. You know what this reminds me of? How Ryan Murphy teases American Horror Story every year. It’s always teases and hints and odd, out of context images. But the reality of American Horror Story never lives up to the promise of American Horror Story. Will Ghost in the Shell be any different? Does this make you want to find out what the ghost in the shell is? These teasers are telling us nothing about the plot or story, so it could go either way. Right now, all Shell is selling us on ScarJo and is future hallways where women in creepy masks reside. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:36 PM [Hillary Between Two Ferns] [Hillary Clinton on Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis] I don’t think I’ve gotten quite enough people yelling at me about politics and the election, so let’s talk about [Hillary Clinton]’s appearance on Between Two Ferns. Yesterday the twentieth episode of Between Two Ferns came out and it features Hillary Clinton doing some #MillennialOutreach by way of viral videos. Guests on Ferns usually fall into one of two categories: Aggressive or bemused, and Clinton is the bemused type. She’s looking at [Zach Galifianakis] like he’s from another planet. Clinton fields a string of asinine questions like, “Are you excited to be the first girl president,” and, “What happens if you become pregnant?” I’m a big fan of the way Galifianakis says “arctics”, and also the look on his face when he says, “So you’re going to lead the civil war?” But the best by far is the way Clinton delivers, “Don’t tell me what to do.” And that last bit about the email is killer. Galifianakis knows, too, you can tell by the look on his face he knows that’s great line. An [interview] with Ferns creator Scott Aukerman reveals that the episode was filmed the same day Clinton was diagnosed with pneumonia, and that the appearance was her idea. That must be why she’s so Zen in the face of Galifianakis’s absurdity—she wants the youth boost something like this can give her. Will it work? Well, it won’t hurt. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:59 PM [Beyoncé’s second collection] [Beyoncé and Jay Z (not pictured) out for dinner in Hollywood, September 21, 2016] [Beyoncé]’s Ivy Park Fall/Winter 2016 collection is now available. I feel like we would have been talking more about it this week but, you know, Brange imploded. [Vanity Fair] says that the point of the Ivy Park second collection is denim and mesh. That wasn’t my takeaway. My takeaway from the collection is: camo print! Excuse me but look at this parka: And this camo mesh sports bra. My goal in life lately is to live exclusively in sports bras. I think I will be investing in several of these. Even though, um, I did not invest in any Ivy Park when the first collection was launched. This is a terrifying thing to say out loud. But it’s not like I haven’t given Beyoncé my money this year. I’ve given her a lot of money. Like 7 concert tickets worth of money. And I was totally intending to buy Ivy Park when it came out. But then the parking lot at my gym went under construction and I’m the lazy f-ck who won’t go the gym if I can’t find a good parking spot. That’s my segue back to the [Vanity Fair article] though – as they point out, we don’t ever actually see Beyoncé go to the gym like for real. Not the way other celebrities go to the gym for the paps. Ivy Park is Beyoncé at Life. Not just at the gym or at work or, I don’t know, whatever it is that Beyoncé does. And that’s what I find kind of hilarious, in the same way I found it hilarious when she said at her show that she worked hard and followed her dreams and we could all be and do the same. Really?! Here are Beyoncé and [Jay Z] out together on Wednesday. Beyoncé and Jay made it off the elevator. But Brange couldn’t make it off the plane. Think about that. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:13 PM [Denzel Washington and Chris Pratt in The Magnificent Seven] [Denzel Washington attends the 'The Magnificent Seven' New York premiere at the Museum of Modern Art on September 19, 2016 in New York] Antoine Fuqua’s remake of the 1960 Western The Magnificent Seven—itself a remake of Akira Kurosawa’s 1954 film Seven Samurai—was the opening film at TIFF. I missed the press screening, so I had to wait a couple days to see it, and during that time everyone kept telling me how horrible it is. But then I finally saw it, and while it is 100% a commercial Hollywood action movie, it’s FINE. It’s good at being a commercial Hollywood action movie. It’s not doing anything new or fresh with the material, and it will probably play better to people who don’t know/remember the 1960 film, but it’s a solid bit of escapism. [Denzel Washington] stars as Sam Chisolm, a bounty hunter and “licensed lawman” who wears all black and has coordinated his horse to match his hat. One day while in town to kill some guy, Chisolm meets Emma Cullen (Haley Bennett, The Girl on the Train), a recently bereaved widow. Emma is incredibly sad and hell-bent on revenge because she was married to Matt Bomer, the beautifulest man in the Old West, who was cravenly killed by [Peter Sarsgaard] because he just couldn’t handle Matt Bomer’s outrageously blue eyes. Emma hires Chisolm to help her get revenge on Peter Sarsgaard, who, if he had a better written part, could have delivered a pretty sharp villain performance. But as is a consistent problem throughout Seven, his part is underwritten and doesn’t leave him much to do. Chisolm has a decent through-line, and Emma gets a nice little arc, but pretty much everyone else is left hanging. [Chris Pratt] makes more of his character, Faraday, than was on the page simply by being Chris Pratt, but not everyone is as engaged as he is. [Ethan Hawke], for example, actually has one of the better written parts as Goodnight Robicheaux, a Civil War veteran struggling with PTSD and possibly an opium addiction, but he just seems sleepy for most of the movie. So there’s not a lot happening in terms of character development, but even still Seven manages to be mostly fun. Especially once the seven get together, you can tell these guys were having a good time. Pratt plays Faraday as a probably-alcoholic lout who revels in his bad reputation even as he jumps at the chance to do something good—this is, I think, what his Han Solo would have looked like—and he has great chemistry with Washington. And Vincent D’Onofrio turns up as a trapper, Jack Horne, and gives such a delightfully weird performance that for a moment it feels like you’re watching an entirely different movie. But the meat of the movie are the gun fights, and they’re very well staged. Fuqua knows how to do bombastic action sequences, and this Magnificent Seven is a Western action movie for the superhero era. The seven are basically a superhero collective, and they each have a “power” that helps them in their fight. And they’re just as interested in bantering with each other as they are in shooting bad guys. It’s like The Avengers in that the first half of the movie is just hanging around but then the second half is a balls-out fun action sequence. And see if this sounds familiar: A woman willing to compromise her morals gets a kind of shady guy vaguely connected to the government to round up some reprobates to do her bidding, and together they take down an even worse villain than themselves. And it’s fun, the characters are all likeable without becoming cuddly, and everyone’s motivations actually make sense. The Magnificent Seven is basically what Suicide Squad should have been. Attached - the Magnificent Seven cast at the New York premiere earlier this week. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:35 PM [Brad Pitt makes his moves] It’s now been 24 hours since the allegations against [Brad Pitt] and what may have happened on that plane were reported. As of this writing (7am Friday) he has yet to release an official statement vehemently denying that he was drunk and may have gotten violent with his children. He does, however, now have a divorce lawyer. [The Hollywood Reporter] broke the news last night that Brad has hired Lance Spiegel to represent him. Meanwhile, the FBI [told Variety] late yesterday that they are indeed looking into the situation: “In response to your inquiry regarding allegations within the special aircraft jurisdiction of the United States; specifically, an aircraft carrying Mr. Brad Pitt and his children, the FBI is continuing to gather facts and will evaluate whether an investigation at the federal level will be pursued.” Which is probably why Brad hasn’t come strong yet with a denial about the allegations. Not until he finds out what the authorities decide. And, [according to US Weekly], there’s video of the incident that shows Brad appearing to be drunk in a fight with [Angelina] but that “nothing physical” can be seen in the footage. US’s sources also say that Maddox then stepped in between his parents and got in his dad’s face. The details of that confrontation are now what’s in dispute. While the FBI continues its evaluation of the situation then, Brad is getting his side of the story out the good old fashioned Hollywood way – with sources talking to the media presenting his case. And Brad appears to have chosen [PEOPLE] as his outlet. [PEOPLE] published an exclusive last night from a “source with knowledge of the incident”: Pitt "was drunk, and there was an argument between him and Angelina," says the source. "There was a parent-child argument which was not handled in the right way and escalated more than it should have." The source says Pitt did not hurt his son. "He is emphatic that it did not reach the level of physical abuse, that no one was physically harmed. He did not hit his child in the face in any way. He did not do that; he is emphatic about that. He put his hands on him, yes, because the confrontation was spiraling out of control." A source close to Pitt says any accusations beyond that are "a combination of exaggerations and lies". "They have taken the overall smallest kernel of truth – that a fight got out of hand and reached a regrettable peak, and that as a result DCFS is looking into it – and they are manipulating it to best suit their attempts to gain custody." Remember, this is Brad’s side of the story. PEOPLE even titles the article as “Brad Pitt’s side of the story”. Which is a critical point here because those who are telling “Brad’s side of the story” cannot deny that 1. Brad Pitt was drunk on the plane with his children and 2. Something happened with one of his children. Which probably means that there really is video evidence of what went down and they need to offer the most honest – or favourable, depending how you see it – explanation of how Brad behaved. And now the spin is to suggest that it was simply a “fight (that) got out of hand” that Angelina’s team is exploiting to secure her position. From a strategic point of view, it’s a decent play. We’ve seen what happens when celebrities compulsively issue denials and get slapped in the face with the receipts later on. By acknowledging upfront that he lost his temper, he’s avoiding the “gotcha” moment that would have come if any visual evidence is presented. And it also complements the attack angle that Brad is taking against Angelina – that he made a minor mistake and she’s turned it into a major transgression because she will stop at nothing to get what she wants. You know what’s interesting though? PEOPLE’s version of “Brad’s side of the story” has been amended. The one that’s [up on the site right now] has been edited. Originally when they posted the article last night, this is how it read: The source says Pitt did not hurt his son. “He is emphatic that it did not reach the level of physical abuse, that no one was physically harmed. He did not hit his child in the face in any way. He did not do that; he is emphatic about that. He put his hands on him, yes, because the confrontation was nose to nose and was spiraling out of control.” You see the difference? The detail about Brad and presumably Maddox going “nose to nose”? Also this sentence has been removed from the paragraph that now ends with “attempts to gain custody”: The Pitt source adds that the star “was not black-out drunk” and that “he absolutely remembers that evening and has been interviewed at length to that effect.” Brad’s team doesn’t want you visualising him going “nose to nose” with his 15 year old son. And they certainly don’t want you suspecting that he may have been “black-out drunk”. Just, you know, regular drunk. But drunk enough that Brad’s people can’t straight up deny it. And drunk enough and angry enough that his people cannot categorically dismiss the reports that there was all kinds of drama on that plane. Back on Tuesday morning, when TMZ first broke the news that Angelina had filed for divorce over concerns about Brad’s parenting and drinking and “anger issues”, many thought it was a smear campaign. In the days that followed, however, even as he expressed “sadness” over the situation, no one has been able to reliably shut down those claims. It’s worth noting then that now, even Brad’s own “sources”, the soldiers dispatched to offer his “side” of the story, have not been able discredit those claims. What they have to do now then is admit whatever is safe enough for them to admit, amass enough credit for those admissions, and hope that everyone’s all like, “See? He’s man enough to tell us the truth!”, and clean himself up enough that he can step out looking close enough to this… …so that we’ll all be like, “OK, no problem!” [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:00 PM [Privacy Policy] - [Unsubscribe]