Newsletter Tuesday, August 23, 2016

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Tuesday, August 23, 2016 [Intro for August 23, 2016] [Gwyneth Paltrow ] Dear Gossips, Yesterday I learned that “new age” has been rebranded. Now we’re supposed to call it “[mysticore]” and “mysticore” is the new “normcore”. Normcore was going out of your way to be un-cool and by doing so, that was cool. “Mysticore” is embracing the extraordinary, the supernatural, the magic. So, basically, in the Harry Potter world, it’s Professor Trelawney’s class. Sybil Trelawney was the Divination witch and, some argue, we are in the era of the witch, the witch being the “ultimate symbol of female power”. Is she also gluten-free? That was my takeaway [from this article]. Since I follow Chinese astrology, I suppose I might qualify as “mysticore”. I also love magic and clothes printed with stars and moons. But I hate the word “mysticore”. And I wonder how “mysticore” will affect celebrity. This is a movement that should favour the celebrity since, the way I read it, “mysticore” emphasises “personal desire” and emotion-driven response over “logic and solid judgment”. No one loves an “I FEEL” statement more than a famous person. Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 1:14 PM [Smutty Tingles] Dickmatised and meangirled on this week’s [Sasha Answers podcast]. Adam Sandler makes almost as much money as Jennifer Lawrence and I don’t understand ([Dlisted]) Halle Berry does Britney Spears ([Just Jared]) Natalie Portman gets judged in France too ([Cele|bitchy]) In Australia, a grower is a traveller. I’m talking about dicks. ([TooFab]) Is Miranda Lambert mocking Blake and Gwen? ([Celeb Dirty Laundry]) Arya Stark, you tease! ([Pop Sugar]) Jessica Alba in a floral gown ([Popoholic]) Meek Mill tried to block Drake, as IF ([TMZ]) Clothes look happier and more luxurious when they get to be worn by Matt Bomer ([Go Fug Yourself]) [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:16 PM [Beyoncé before the VMAs] [Beyoncé and Jay-Z] The MTV VMAs are happening on Sunday. In New York and, for the time, at Madison Square Garden. [Beyoncé]'s Lemonade leads all nominees. And with less than a week to go before what's expected to be a total domination, she's been posting behind-the-scenes Lemonade photos on [Beyoncé.com]. This also works for her Emmy nominations since Lemonade, the visual album/film, has been nominated for four. Beyoncé and [Jay] were on holiday in the Mediterranean for a couple of weeks but they’re back in NY now and went out last night in matching grey to support Usher at the premiere of Hands Of Stone. And they seem as close as they’ve ever been, as you can see from this shot of him with his arm around her. [Beyoncé & Jay Z at the #HandsOfStone premiere tonight in NYC] A photo posted by Beyoncé (@beylite) on Aug 22, 2016 at 5:22pm PDT So, assuming that B will be on stage accepting several awards on Sunday, what will she say? Who will she thank? Given that one of the themes of Lemonade is infidelity, heartbreak, and coming back together, will she shout out Jay and how, specifically, will she refer to him? She knows that people – we – break down every cutaway, gesture, every word. I can’t wait to talk about whatever it is we’ll be talking about on Monday. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:36 PM [Nobody You Care About in Ben-Hur] In case you missed it, Paramount’s adaptation of Ben-Hur—already an iconic 1959 film starring Charlton Heston—sh*t the bed in a BIG way over the weekend, becoming one of the [biggest flops] of the summer. So, naturally, I went to see it. What I discovered is that Ben-Hur’s great sin is being boring, and a large part of why it’s boring is that this new iteration of the story—based on the 1880 novel—removes all the interesting subtext that made the 1959 William Wyler film such an engrossing story. In the documentary The Celluloid Closet, about Hollywood’s High Repressed years, Gore Vidal—one of several uncredited screenwriters on the 1959 Ben-Hur—talked about his decision to weave homoerotic subtext into the story, in order to justify the hatred between Jewish prince Judah Ben-Hur and his adopted Roman brother, Messala. Vidal claims Wyler was supportive, though he allegedly said, “Don’t tell Chuck,” referring to famously conservative Charlton Heston. Wyler would dispute Vidal’s account, and Heston wrote a letter to the Los Angeles Times refuting the gay subtext in Ben-Hur, but it’s there. You don’t have to be hip to mid-century cinematic language to get that Judah and Messala were more than just brothers. It’s BARELY subtext. So the new movie, because it can’t remake the 1959 movie—rights issues—has to go back to the source material for inspiration. Which means the homoeroticism is mostly erased—what does survive is mostly unintentional—and the novel’s cherry-picked message of conditional forgiveness is put back as the main function of the narrative. In the novel forgiveness is painted as “destroy your enemy and only once he’s defeated, pat him on the head and forgive him.” And Jesus is A-OK with this version of forgiveness. It’s easy to see why such a message might catch on in post-Civil War America. In this version, Judah Ben-Hur ([Jack Huston], Boardwalk Empire) and Messala (Toby Kebbell, who has [appallingly bad luck] with blockbusters) fall out when a young Judean Ben-Hur is nursing back to health takes a potshot at Pontius Pilate (Euron Greyjoy, looking desperate to get back to Westeros) from the roof of Ben-Hur’s house. Messala, forced to make a show of “justice” for the glory of Rome, and also pissed because Ben-Hur won’t hand over names of local rebels, sentences Ben-Hur’s sister and mother to death, and has Ben-Hur enslaved. Oh, Messala is now in love with Ben-Hur’s sister, Tirzah (Sofia Black-D’Elia, The Night Of), and Ben-Hur is smitten with his servant, Esther (Nazanin Boniadi, one time Potential Tom Cruise’s Girlfriend). This is to prove explicitly that Ben-Hur and Messala are super not in love with one another, and there’s nothing remotely gay about their relationship. 2016 Ben-Hur works so hard to distance itself from the legacy of 1959 Ben-Hur, all without realizing that the relationship between Ben-Hur and Messala is what made that movie work. After Ben-Hur is forced into Ancient Roman SoulCycle slavery, it takes f*cking forever to get to the famous chariot race. Director Timur Bekmambetov is no stranger to stylized action (see also: Wanted), so you can’t fault the chariot race for technical accomplishment—it’s a good looking action sequence, barring some dodgy computer effects in the wide shots. And Marco Beltrami’s score is quite good and almost tricks you into forgetting that you don’t actually care about what’s happening Because you don’t. The female characters are so underwritten it is literally impossibly to muster one single f*ck to give when Ben-Hur’s mom and sister are presumably sent to die. Later, when Ben-Hur finds out they’ve actually become lepers, we still don’t care. Literally nothing about his arc—emotional or narrative—changes when he learns this information. Ben-Hur is rescued by Ilderim ([Morgan Freeman], in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves mode), who tells him to f*ck up Messala during a chariot race because the only way to beat a Roman is to humiliate him, which is really f*cking bleak for a movie that also features Jesus preaching compassion. (Rodrigo Santoro stars as Ripped Renaissance Jesus.) The end of the movie is an awkward portrayal of Jesus’s crucifixion in which Ben-Hur suddenly decides to be forgiving, now that he’s gotten his revenge and permanently maimed Messala. Where the 1959 movie gets by on its allusions to thwarted love and the tragedy that spins out from damaged pride and broken hearts, the new version has something really unpleasant at its core. Be a dick, it says, just so long as you don’t gloat too much when you win. Without the romantic subtext, Ben-Hur is left with a rather ugly moral about destroying your enemies at all costs and only forgiving them once you’ve ruined their lives. You know, just like Jesus said. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:18 PM [“Here’s to the mess we make”] [Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield out together in London, August 21, 2016] [Andrew Garfield]’s birthday was on Saturday. On Sunday he was with [Emma Stone] in London. It’s the first time they’ve been seen together since breaking up last year. They looked happy walking down the street, both with their hands in their pockets. [Click here] to see more pictures. [PEOPLE reports] that this is not a reconciliation. I mean, there’s nothing here to suggest it’s a reconciliation. They’re not holding hands, they don’t have their arms around each other. And if I were to play Photo Assumption with these photos, it almost seems like they’re getting used to NOT doing those things with each other, the way you do, awkwardly and nervously, when you enter into a new reality stage with a former lover. That said, I never cared to celebrate birthdays with any of my former lovers. So, if this isn’t a reconciliation, it’s a friendship that grew out of romance. In other Emma news, she’ll be in Venice next week with La La Land to open the film festival and a new trailer has been released ahead of the event featuring her singing. This, to me, is a better trailer [than the first one] with [Ryan Gosling] whistling. The film looks gorgeous, as Sarah previously observed. But with his voice as the guide the tone was bordering on pretention. When Emma’s leading us, to me it feels more honest, more straightforward, more “give in to this fairy tale, this romantic montage that we’ve all played in our heads at one time or another, when you’ve led someone across a floating dancefloor and allowed yourself to be swept away”. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:19 PM [Rachel & Jamie go for bedding] [Rachel McAdams and Jamie Linden shop for bedding in Los Angeles with Rachel's sister Kayleen and her husband, August 19, 2016] [Rachel McAdams] was photographed in LA last Friday with Jamie Linden. They’ve been together [since at least May]. Rachel and Jamie were joined by her sister, Kayleen, and her husband. And they were shopping at a bedding store. His place or her place? Rachel, as you know, when she’s not shooting, spends time in Toronto. LA has never been “home” for her. You think that’s changing? When Rachel was rumoured to be dating [Taylor Kitsch], there were barely any shots. And definitely none of them holding hands, confirming whatever it was between them. Rachel and Jamie are confirmed. So, not only do you have to get over the thing with Ryan Gosling, it’s also time to give up on her with Taylor. By the way, have you read Patrick Ness’s Chaos Walking trilogy? They’re making the first book, The Knife Of Never Letting Go, into a movie, with Doug Liman directing. Jamie wrote the script for it. I liked it OK. But it took me forever to finish the series because, spoiler alert, something happens to a dog. I cried myself to sleep that night. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:55 PM [Clooneys on a bike] [George and Amal Clooney go for a motorcycle ride in Los Angeles, August 19, 2016] [Amal] and [George Clooney] were seen in LA on Friday riding around on his bike. Back in April, the Clooneys [hosted a fundraiser] for Hillary Clinton. Tonight Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are hosting another one, [stepping in for Leonardo DiCaprio] who says he’s busy working. You think the Clooneys will be heading over to JT’s? You think George will bring his tequila? JT also has his own brand of tequila. I guess it would be bad form but so is scrabbling on top of the ex-girlfriend who made you famous all the time. By the way, Amal is wearing the Stella McCartney wedge oxfords. An upgrade on those wedge sneakers she wore well past their expiration date. I’m obsessed with these. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:57 PM [Charlie’s “unique love story”] [Charlie Hunnam/Lea Seydoux] Drake Doremus’s movies are always about love. Like Crazy was about love. And Equals was about love. And the people who are in love are young and hot. According to [The Hollywood Reporter], his next movie is, once again, about love. And the stars of his next movie are really, really hot. All we know now is that it’s a “unique love story”…starring… [Charlie Hunnam] and [Lea Seydoux]. I don’t give a sh-t what the story is, I’m in. I’m in because “unique love story” means that Charlie will be doing a lot of kissing. I will watch anything that involves Charlie doing a lot of kissing. I will watch the f-ck out of this movie. I will also watch a lot of Charlie doing push-ups. Which is what he’s been doing every day until he gets to 22 days for the #22pushups challenge. In case you missed it, here are the last three installments. [In for a penny, in for a pound. Raising awareness for ALL veterans who need our support long after they are home. Thank you to all of you for your service and courage. Keep fighting! #CharlieHunnam and I continue the #22kill #22pushupchallenge Goto #22kill.com and become a veterans advocate!] A video posted by dominic de vore (@dommyriddle) on Aug 18, 2016 at 9:42pm PDT [Raising awareness to the fact that 22 veterans take their lives everyday. #CharlieHunnam and I continue #Day4 of the #22kill #22pushup challenge. It's day 5 so I'll post another tonight to catch up. Goto #22kill.com and become a veterans advocate. Shoutouts to @representltd and #tommytoehold.] A video posted by dominic de vore (@dommyriddle) on Aug 21, 2016 at 6:37pm PDT [#day5 of #22kill #22pushupchallenge. #kingsleybenadir has been challenge. #charliehunnam doesn't have social media so I'll be posting on his behalf. Keep fighting. Get involved. Join the challenge.] A video posted by dominic de vore (@dommyriddle) on Aug 22, 2016 at 8:32am PDT [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:06 PM [August 23, 2016 – Smutty Shout-Outs] Raquel! Happy 25th Birthday! And thank YOU for growing up on gossip – my gossip! It’s been an honour to (sort of) raise you and age with you. PS Your arm snitch is amazing. Posted at 1:21 PM [Privacy Policy] - [Unsubscribe]