Newsletter Monday, May 02, 2016

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Monday, May 02, 2016 [Intro for May 2, 2016] [New portraits of Princess Charlotte to celebrate her first birthday] Dear Gossips, Today is Princess Charlotte’s first birthday. The Cambridges have released four new photographs of her to celebrate the occasion. And, amazingly, Big G doesn’t make an appearance. Amazingly Charlotte has been permitted to enjoy her birthday without having to share it with her brother-who-will-be-king, the boy who makes everything about himself. What heirlooms would have had to be sacrificed for Big G to step away from the camera and cede the space to his sister? Speaking of royals, Charlotte’s uncle, Prince Harry, is in Toronto today in support of the Invictus Games. This year’s Games begin next Sunday in Florida and they will take place next year in Toronto. The Prince of Toronto, Drake, has also been in town the last few days for his latest album release and the Raptors. Hopefully someone in the city has been working to make this happen. Hopefully the timing of all of this is not an accident. Hopefully Drizzy and Harry will be real by the end of today. Also today… the MET Gala. Co-chaired by Idris Elba and Taylor Swift. So a programming note about our coverage: it’ll be an all-nighter tonight and I’ll start posting shortly after midnight. Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 11:29 AM [MET Lemonade?] [Beyoncé at the 2015 MET Gala] I received an email earlier about [SJP] and the MET Gala, something about how she might be sitting out this year. Which would be a disappointment, because love it or hate it, SJP always brings it. She understands that it’s a COSTUME. That there’s a theme. That it should be playful (while being respectful). Anyway, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. Here’s what she posted on Instagram earlier today: [Encouraged these @sjpcollection ladies to do a dry run on THESE steps in anticipation of THOSE steps later on. If you know what I mean. X, Sj] A photo posted by SJP (@sarahjessicaparker) on May 2, 2016 at 10:14am PDT Another reason why we need the SJP there – to prevent the event from being a complete Taylor takeover. So. [Beyoncé]? I mentioned [the other day] that I just, I just couldn’t see her showing up right now. Having to share on that level when she’s got her own stage and her own Lemonade groove, dominating almost every other story in entertainment. But [Andre Leon Talley] is saying that she’s coming? In a new interview with [Vogue.com] ALT is asked about his fondest MET Gala memories: “Cher came up the steps and I was beating a tambourine and she took the tambourine out of my hands and she started beating the tambourine. And we became friends . . . Unfortunately the person I most wanted to see is not coming because she’s on tour. It’s Rihanna. . . . But I do look forward to Beyoncé.” Beyoncé was one of the last to arrive last year, if not the last to arrive. If it’s true, that she’ll be there, well, I hope it’s a f-cking entrance. I hope it’s what she did at the Super Bowl. When she wasn’t technically the headliner but was actually the headliner. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:43 PM [Kate & Nick in New York] [Kate Hudson and Nick Jonas have dinner together at Carbone in NYC, May 1, 2016] [Kate Hudson] is in New York. With some extensions. MET Gala tonight? She’s a Stella McCartney regular. But she’s been wearing a lot of Michael Kors lately too. Last year she went on the Kors ticket. In gold. Not my favourite. [Embed from Getty Images] But we’re not here to talk about that. We are here to mention that Kate had dinner last night with [Nick Jonas]. She left out a side door, he exited from the front. So if you were wondering whether or not they’re still dealing with each other, that would be yes. In other Kate news… Mother’s Day opened this weekend with only $8.3 million on sh-tty, sh-tty reviews. But the people who did go apparently really enjoyed it because they’re scoring it at a B+? With the exception, of course, [of Sarah]. Which, basically, means they’ll be greenlighting some other Garry Marshall holiday. What’s left? Thanksgiving. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:12 PM [Princess Kate covers VOGUE] [Princess Catherine covers British VOGUE for 100th anniversary edition] It’s the 100th anniversary of British VOGUE. To commemorate the occasion, [Katy Cambridge] is on the cover of the June issue and the portraits will be on display at the National Portrait Gallery. The photos were shot by Josh Olins in Norfolk. She’s a princess in the countryside, the sunlight dappling over her royal skin and her upper class casual clothing. I like these pictures. I like that in the hands of some proper fashion people, her eye makeup is such an improvement. They’ve convinced her to go light on the bottom liner and gave her a strong brow. She looks lovely. But there are some haters. [The Guardian] is like, um, this isn’t art, and it shouldn’t up in a museum just because she’s royal. And over at the [Daily Mail], apparently the bucolic setting is underwhelming, too low on glamour. The writer, Liz Jones, suggests that Kate’s VOGUE cover shoulda been more like this: Ohhhhhh kayyyyyy… Sure. If you think Kate Middleton could do Diana, sure. Diana understood how to flirt with the camera. Diana was a vamp. Diana knew how to seduce you with her eyes. So are we saying that Kate’s capable of this? I’ve never seen it. Given that that’s just not her gear, why are we asking her to grow a gear she doesn’t have. These photos? This is where she lives. I’m not mad at that. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:27 PM [Tom Hiddleston in High-Rise] [Tom Hiddleston attends the 102nd White House Correspondents' Association Dinner on April 30, 2016 in Washington, DC] You expect a movie to be weird, and then you watch it and it’s WEIRD. So it goes with Ben Wheatley’s High-Rise, an adaptation of J.G. Ballard’s classic sci-fi novel. Steeped in a 1970s aesthetic consistent with the publication of Ballard’s book, High-Rise is stylish and highly visual, packed with stunning images that range from the beautiful to the absurd to the grotesque. Wheatley demonstrated such command of visuals before, but High-Rise is a new high water mark. And it’s one matched by an aces performance from [Tom Hiddleston], who has a found a new gear over the last couple years. High-Rise starts disturbing and then gets f*cking bizarre, so strap in. A word of caution: Bad things happen to animals. There’s no on-screen cruelty, but it’s heavily implied, to the point that the mere appearance of a dog elicits dread. Depending on your tolerance for that, this may or may not be the movie for you. But the animals factor into the visual language of the film, as the most prominent, err, victims are a white dog and a white horse. White horses, in particular, come with a lot of narrative baggage. Good guys ride white horses. If a horse is magic or special, it’s usually white (see also: Artax, Shadowfax, Silver). So the sacrificing of a white horse carries extra weight, as it represents the destruction of goodness. The film is full of such commentary. Heavily-pregnant housewife Helen ([Elisabeth Moss]), is seen in plain cotton dresses, but sexual, care-free Charlotte ([Sienna Miller]) wears bright colors and patterns and loose, flowy clothes. Until Helen’s husband, volatile would-be revolutionary Richard ([Luke Evans]), rapes Charlotte, and then she’s seen in the same kind of plain, housefrau type clothes. It’s not subtle, but the way Wheatley uses every available item on the screen to create contrast is striking. The story, however, doesn’t quite live up to the weirdness of Wheatley’s style. The film revolves around Dr. Robert Laing (Hiddleston), a new resident in a high rise apartment bloc. He’s obviously proud of his new home, and attempts to get to know his neighbors only to find he doesn’t quite fit in like he wants to. Like Snowpiercer’s train, the high rise is a metaphor for class, with the lower floors rebelling against the residents of the upper floors, who hog the power and water. Unlike Snowpiercer, High-Rise can’t quite sustain its metaphor. Some of the elements work really well, like the subplot in which Laing takes revenge on an upper-floor resident who humiliates him, but others don’t, such as pretty much every part involving women. It’s not that bad things happen to them—at one point it’s mentioned that “wives are being traded for food”—it’s that there is so little effort made to shade them in as people. Moss and Miller are memorable, but neither of them really have a lot to do. Miller’s character exists only to be f*cked and abused, there’s no sense of her as a person beyond how men are using her. And Moss is perhaps the biggest waste, as Helen does nothing except be pregnant. The condition of poverty and child-rearing on women is left unexamined. So it makes for an uneven experience. There is a lot to dazzle in High-Rise, and some very good performances to enjoy, but there’s also a bit of an “emperor without clothes” feeling. Characters stand around having on-the-nose conversations about driving the poors from the building, which undercuts the artful visuals telling the exact same story. It feels a bit like the audience isn’t trusted to really get it, but it’s not a hard concept to grasp in the first place. And by virtually ignoring the women in the story, it’s a half-told tale. Laing is our protagonist, fine, but it would be boring to watch a movie about him interacting with a vacuum cleaner and a bucket. That’s a bit the feeling here as Helen and Charlotte barely register as people. Ultimately High-Rise is a beautiful, visual, somewhat frustrating art piece. High-Rise is available now on digital on demand and will be in limited theaters from May 13. Attached - Tom Hiddleston out in New York this weekend at the White House Correspondents' Dinner and at Anna Wintour's house for a pre-MET Gala dinner. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:07 PM [Smutty Tingles] Big G’s big ego called out in Washington ([Dlisted]) Elizabeth Olsen and Chris Evans are not dating. But I do like how he touches her knee ([Just Jared]) The mysteries of Prince’s vault ([Cele|bitchy]) Past MET Gala dresses as homework for tonight ([TooFab]) I don’t love this dress on Gwen Stefani. Why is it boring to me? ([Pop Sugar]) I can never get the head right when I draw penises ([The Superficial]) Terrible photo shoot makes her look 15 years older than she is ([Hollywood Tuna]) Helen Mirren in the colour of Queen and Prince ([Go Fug Yourself]) This is not your fight but, um, good luck? ([Gossip Girl]) [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:28 PM [Alicia on the Angelina path?] [Alicia Vikander out for dinner in New York, May 1, 2016] [Angelina Jolie] won a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Girl, Interrupted in 1999/2000. She then went on to play Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. [Alicia Vikander] just won Best Supporting Actress for The Danish Girl. And she will play Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. The casting was just confirmed last week. In March we’d heard that it was [Daisy Ridley] [who was being considered] for the role. Not sure why that didn’t work – perhaps scheduling, as Daisy’s shooting Episode VIII right now and is likely committed for IX immediately afterwards – but I do like the strategy here from Alicia’s side. The prestige has been secured with the Academy Award. Now let’s see if she can go for big box office and action. As for whether or not she can do it, if you’ve seen Ex Machina, you know she can do it. She played vulnerable and cunning, she was a friend, she was a tease, she was child, she was a monster; in fact, the only thing missing from that performance was fun. And Lara, on top of all that complication, is FUN. But I don’t doubt that Alicia can bring that too. Here she is in New York last night with some friends ahead of the MET Gala. Presumably she’s going to rep Louis Vuitton. And that’s something else she has in common with Angelina. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:07 PM [Bradley, Gaga, MET] [Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper have dinner at 'Giorgio Baldi' Italian Restaurant in Santa Monica, CA, April 29, 2016] [Bradley Cooper] and [Lady Gaga] went out for dinner Friday night in LA. She’s engaged. And they weren’t hiding it. So, no, this is not romance. And if it’s not romance, it’s either friendship or business. On the business side, [Dlisted] is speculating that Coop and Gaga are meeting to discuss A Star Is Born. You’ll recall, he was supposed to be directing and starring with [Beyoncé] but she may or may not have backed out – [click here] for a refresher. Gaga just won a Globe for acting in American Horror Story and, yeah, she can certainly bring the DRAMA in a role like that. But I wonder if her drama will push the balance of the story over to the camp side. That’s what happens whenever Madonna’s in a movie too. Coop is now in New York. He was photographed yesterday at JFK. [Irina Shayk] is currently in New York too. It was a year ago, around the time of the MET Gala, that we first found out that they were together when they were were seen making out an after-party – [click here] for a refresher. Coop skipped the MET Gala carpet last year and went straight inside while Irina showed up in a really sh-tty dress. [Click here] to see. Perhaps they’ll walk together this year? [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:29 PM [Idris’s first MET Gala] [Idris Elba arrives at Anna Wintour's house in New York for pre-MET Gala Dinner, May 1, 2016] If he’s been there before I can’t find any pictures. Check out [Idris Elba] last night in New York at [Anna Wintour]’s for a pre-MET Gala dinner. As you know, he’s co-chairing with Anna and Taylor Swift. For the first time ever, E! will be broadcasting Live From The Red Carpet at the event this year, like they do at the Oscars and the Globes, etc. It’s the f-cking MET Gala. You think someone’s gonna pull an #askhermore face? At the MET Gala?!? I’ve covered the MET Gala twice for etalk. It’s the best. The best for dress porn. The best for all kinds of fashion porn. And the best too, in my position at least, for no pressure. If you get an interview at the MET Gala, it’s a bonus. Mainly though, we’re there for b-roll. We’re there to just observe. Nobody needs to talk at the MET Gala. Why are we talking? The whole point is the COSTUME. So… if E! is mounting cameras from 80 positions and just letting them run concurrently for our style porn pleasure, I’m down. But if my porn-watching is affected by an entirely unnecessary interview getting in the way of a spectacular dress going up the stairs, why am I not hitting up a totally different feed where I can enjoy myself in peace? [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 1:33 PM [Queen Bees & Wannabes: the MET Gala] [Taylor Swift seen at Anna Wintour's house in New York, May 1, 2016] Re-read Queen Bees and Wannabes (which inspired Mean Girls) with the current state of Hollywood friendship in mind. It’s a trip. Anyway, [Taylor Swift] was in New York this weekend, seen several times at various pre-MET Gala events. As you know, Taylor is co-chairing the event this year with Idris Elba and Apple’s Jonathan Ive and honourary chairs Nicolas Ghesquire, Karl Lagerfeld, and Miuccia Prada. Which is why I mentioned the other day that it’s probably best form for Taylor to wear one of those three designers. And since [Selena Gomez] has [already confirmed] that she and Taylor are each other’s dates, and given that Selena has an established relationship with Louis Vuitton, it’s quite possible that they could be LV’ing together. Apparently the dress code is “tech white tie” for the theme Manus x Machina. Expect a lot of silver? And a complicated seating assignment? Because [Katy Perry] and [Orlando Bloom] arrived in New York this weekend too. Katy’s a regular at the MET Gala. She went last year with Jeremy Scott. Taylor wasn’t at the MET Gala last year though. And this year her name is on the invitation. I’ll just leave that there. And remind you of what she wore to the event two years ago, before Bad Blood, before 1989: [Embed from Getty Images] Not exactly the best last impression. Let’s see how she changes that tonight, now that she’s a platinum blonde. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 1:07 PM [Justin Bieber’s engagement party] [Justin Bieber and father Jeremy Bieber attend the Private VIP Art Show and Nyotaimori Celebrating Life Love And Art held at the Private Residence of Dr. Rita Kilislian and Andy Curnew on April 30, 2016 in Toronto, Canada] Justin Bieber is not engaged. His father, Jeremy, is engaged. And Justin was in Toronto on Saturday to attend his dad’s engagement party, held at a mansion in one of Toronto’s most expensive neighbourhoods where, bizarrely, an art show was also taking place. There was a tiger. The Batmobile was there. And some superheroes too. Also, Justin buzzed his head. He did it, apparently, after his tour stop in DC on Friday night. And then he flew straight to Toronto and showed up around 2am at Drake’s album release party [where it was reported] that he “didn’t look well”. And then these shots the next day from his father’s event. Pretty sure you know JB’s backstory and how his father factors into it. Would an engagement party like this be possible if JB wasn’t his son? Maybe that’s why I’m Photo Assuming so much sadness from JB’s expression in this pictures. Like this one: [Embed from Getty Images] Not that I haven’t gotten used to seeing JB’s patented “bleak face” over the years. It’s just …not in his eyes, you know? Here’s another: [Embed from Getty Images] Even when he smiled, and he did smile that night, Photo Assumption (the unreliable game we play with pictures and interpretations) says it never reaches his eyes. JB’s next tour stop is Brooklyn on Wednesday. So… it’s very possible he’ll be at the MET Gala tonight. Last year he was my [co-best dressed]. I still love that jacket. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 12:31 PM [Drake’s biggest week] [Drake congratulates DeMar DeRozan #10 of the Toronto Raptors following Game Seven of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals against the Indiana Pacers during the 2016 NBA Playoffs at the Air Canada Centre on May 01, 2016 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada] [Drake]’s new album, Views, dropped on Friday and reportedly sold 630,000 units in its first day exclusively on iTunes. They’re projecting as low as 800,000 for a full week and, possibly, as high as over a million. Which could put him in Adele and Taylor Swift territory (as Duana purses her lips and tries to supress a smile, like a proud mother). Those kind of numbers just don’t happen very often anymore. So, yes, Drake is a very, very big deal. And he’s a big deal, especially, where I was born, where I live, in Toronto, right now in particular since Views is dedicated to Toronto, with our signature monument represented as the album art: [To the city I love and the people in it...Thank you for everything #VIEWS] A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Apr 24, 2016 at 6:04pm PDT You know what’s also so amazing about Drake though? How is he so great at getting memed? Hotline Bling was, arguably, the most memorable – and memorably memed – video of 2015. And now this shot of Drake sitting on the CN Tower is living on the internet too. For those of us from the 6ix, this one is probably the sentimental favourite: [#VIEWS] A photo posted by Jose Bautista (@joeybats19) on Apr 28, 2016 at 4:18pm PDT “Going viral” is now an art form. People gather in boardrooms trying to figure out how. For Drake it seems to come so effortlessly. And yet. And yet. When it happens over and over again like this, it can’t just all be by accident. So can we call it a skill? If we call it a skill it means it’s not just talent, it’s not just musical ability, it’s also that he’s smart. He is one of the best at strategically using the tools of his time to complement his work. This seems to be what Radiohead is trying to do right now too. Or maybe it’s the opposite. Reddit users noticed yesterday that Radiohead was deleting itself off social media. They’ve disappeared all their tweets. All posts have now been removed from their Facebook page. And their website started to slowly fade away, so that all that remains is white blank screen. On Saturday some fans received flyers that read: Sing a song of sixpence that goes BURN THE WITCH We know where you live WHEN will you know where I live though? WHEN is the album coming? Attached - Drake at the Raptors game in Toronto last night. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 12:12 PM [Game of Thrones 6.2: “The first storm and the last”] [Jon Snow arriving at his new London West End Theatre play 'Doctor Faustus' in London, April 28, 2016] Game of Thrones Season 6, Episode 2 recap SPOILERS, THESE WILL ALWAYS BE SPOILERS So, it happened. The single most important thing on Game of Thrones happened. Tyrion let the dragons go. But they didn’t leave the pyramid! Get off your lazy asses, dragons! There are enemies to eat and things to burn down! The dragon sound design is PHENOMENAL—it would have been so easy to borrow pre-existing sound from, say, Jurassic Park dinosaurs, but the dragons sound unique, and they have never sounded better. And that story Tyrion told about wanting a dragon of his own and crying himself to sleep when he was told they were extinct is a great character touch. And it’s a little…prophetic, non? He wanted a dragon. Now he’s technically in charge of two. And he can touch them, and they don’t eat him. That seems important and worth filing away. While I could talk about dragons forever, I know what you’re all wanting to discuss, so let’s get to it. The balance of power in Westeros is shifting all over the place, as Roose Bolton and Balon Greyjoy are murdered, and Tommen and Cersei, in a more passive way, reconcile to crush their enemies in King’s Landing. King’s Landing has usually been one of the most interesting places in Westeros, but now it’s last on the list. Last week we saw Ellaria Sand change things down in Dorne, and this week Ramsey Bolton and Euron Greyjoy fundamentally alter the dynamics to the north. Ramsey throws the absolute worst baby shower in the world after Lady Walda has a son, I mean he really redefines “going to the dogs”. And Euron Greyjoy shows up and promptly murders that old fart Balon, which makes Euron the most interesting Greyjoy in the history of the show. (Sorry, Yara, I had to google your name.) But these dynamics, though significant—like Ramsey can hold the North, bitch please—pale in comparison to what happens in a small room at Castle Black. The most important shift happens in relative privacy, with only a direwolf to witness it. We all knew Jon Snow was coming back. I didn’t think it would happen this soon, but Jon Snow lives again, thanks to Melisandre. That hag nap must have worked wonders, because she burns Jon Snow’s hair and recites an incantation and nothing happens until it does, and Jon Snow takes a breath. I thought they’d chuck his body in a fire and he wouldn’t burn, like Daenerys, but it would seem he’s been resurrected in the same way as Beric Dondarrion. Maybe? [Beric’s resurrection] is a little different. But Melisandre references Beric when Davos asks her if she knows of any way to bring people back from the dead, so it bears asking—does this mean that, like Beric, Jon Snow comes back different, with “pieces chipped away”? And if he does, how does that affect his priorities? Jon Snow was ten times more interesting dead, and now that he’s back, if he turns into the same know-nothing pouter with stupid hair I will scream. Besides, now that he’s died, he’s technically free of the Night’s Watch. Please let him leave the Wall forever, but not before he drop-kicks Olly into oblivion. And as Jon Snow returns, we have Bran Stark back as well, still with the Three-Eyed Raven, getting history lessons, apparently. We see Bran in a vision, in what is part one of the “Tower of Joy” story, about Robert’s Rebellion and the events that set all this into motion a generation before. We meet Lyanna Stark, who seems like Arya would have been had all this sh*t not happened to her family, and even though Lyanna doesn’t do a whole lot here, she comes across at first contact as strong-willed and bold. No wonder Rhaegar Targaryen loses his head over her. History matters, and as Westeros falls further into chaos, its history is playing out in unexpected ways. Through the Tower of Joy story we’ll see how a big act changed the course of Westeros forever, but this episode focuses on relatively smaller moments. Tyrion’s childhood love of dragons, for instance, leads him to make a choice that will, eventually, have drastic consequences. And Jon Snow’s resurrection has a humble beginning at Castle Black, as far from centralized power in Westeros as can be, attended by no one and witnessed only by Ghost. In this moment, no one knows how history is changing. Across Westeros, for twenty years they’ve told the story of Robert’s Rebellion. The next great story people tell around the fire is the story of the Stark Uprising. [To view the videos associated with this article click here.] Attached - [Kit Harington] arriving at his new London West End Theatre play Doctor Faustus in London last week. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 11:46 AM [May 2, 2016 – Smutty Shout-Outs] [Yoda for Deanna] For Deanna and sweet wise Yoda who lived and left with the same generosity and consideration as her namesake. Which also means she’ll always be around, in some way, to remind you that even though you’ll always miss her, the joy of knowing her never leaves either. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 11:33 AM [Privacy Policy] - [Unsubscribe]