Newsletter Thursday, April 28, 2016

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Thursday, April 28, 2016 [Intro for April 28, 2016] [Lee Radziwill attends the Giambattista Valli show as part of the Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Fall/Winter 2016/2017 on March 7, 2016 in Paris, France] Dear Gossips, Really enjoyed my morning reads today, still in bed, living for all the Beyoncé Formation footage from last night in Miami, and then going deep into the Jackie Kennedy-Lee Radziwill feature in the new issue of Vanity Fair. So fascinating. And SUPER dishy. Part of it is because Lee is still a judgy old-school society snob, exponentially more elitist than, say, Anna Wintour in her attitude from a different time, even though, if you read between the lines, she’s not actually that rich, or rich at all. Rich compared to people like us? Sure. But in her circles? Again, read between the lines. Money is the third sister in this story. And while we are told over and over and over again in the piece that Lee had more style than Jackie and shared it with Jackie, in the end, Jackie always had more money, but in the end, well, “share” is not the word. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that “sisterhood” is a preoccupation for us here. Duana has written about the dynamic between Rooney and Kate Mara. The Maras were preceded by the Spears, Britney and Jamie Lynn, the Simpsons, Jessica and Ashlee, and the Olsens, obviously. Perhaps the most intriguing of them all though…to bring it back to HER… Beyoncé and Solange Knowles, not just on our site but universally an obsession. So I read this Vanity Fair Jackie-Lee profile with Beyoncé and Solange in mind. It definitely added something to it, at least for me. [Click here] if you haven’t already. Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 1:29 PM [Young Jakey] [Jake Gyllenhaal was seen filming outside of a bar for the Boston marathon movie 'Stronger', in Easton, Massachusetts on April 27, 2016] [Jake Gyllenhaal] is currently shooting Stronger, based on Jeff Bauman’s story, one of the victims of the Boston Marathon bombing. Here he is in character and costume on set yesterday…. SO young, right? With the hair and no beard, he’s easily 10 years younger than he actually is. And if you had shown me these photos without a caption, from afar, I would have wondered if they were taken during his Donnie Darko days. Before he became a “hunk”. When he was still growing into his features. Jake isn’t conventionally “pretty” like, say, Zac Efron. This, to me, is where he lives, how he’s shaped his life view. Zac Efron approaches every situation like he knows he’s pretty. Jake Gyllenhaal still feels like he’s the guy who was Donnie Darko. And why, perhaps, he’s best at the offbeat roles. As you know, [as Joanna mentioned] a few weeks ago, there are currently two Boston Marathon films in production right now. The other one stars Marky Mark, playing a police officer, basically acting his statement from a few years ago when he said he [could have stopped 9/11]. You can see the difference in the approach. [Mark Wahlberg] wants to tell the hero story. Jake Gyllenhaal’s version of heroism is from the perspective of the survivor. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 7:19 PM [Understatement: Sarah didn’t like Mother’s Day] [Kate Hudson attends the Mamarazzi Screening Of 'Mother's Day' at Elinor Bunin Munroe Film Center on April 28, 2016 in New York City] I am not a mother. I am not qualified to speak to the joys, trials, and triumphs of motherhood. But I have seen the movie Mother’s Day, so I know all about pain, desperation, despair, and the deep abiding shame that comes from watching silently as another human being is repeatedly humiliated for the prurient pleasures of others. I know that we are alone, forsaken by any notion of a kind and forgiving god, for if there was a benevolent force guiding the universe, it surely would have sent an asteroid to destroy us before we could commit this unspeakable act to film, where it will live on, forever, revisiting its horror upon each successive generation. Mother’s Day begins with a monologue from [Jennifer Aniston] about how the financial losses of Cake forced her to accept this role, and if only we had embraced her attempt at being a Serious Actor, she would not have had to do this. “You are being punished,” she says. “You will take me seriously or you will suffer my wrath.” Her wrath is this movie, and it is like being forced to spend two hours sitting next to a pile of fresh vomit—it makes you want to puke, too. [Kate Hudson] then comes on screen and says, “I have a new line of athletic wear to promote, and this movie affords me the opportunity to show off my extremely athletic body in my extremely athletic wear.” When we are living in the Wastelands, I shall follow Kate Hudson, for she is ruthless and practical. The movie follows a loose network of mothers plus one widower dad—[Jason Sudeikis], looking deeply regretful—as they deal with various problems like, “My baby daddy loves me so much I don’t know what to do,” and, “My ex-husband married a woman as old as my [digitally altered face] looks.” Everyone lives in beautiful houses and the kids are all well-behaved, and the entire movie takes place in some mystical part of Atlanta where there are no black people, except for the obligatory Sassy Black Friend. [Julia Roberts] appears in this movie with an “I will always be grateful to Garry Marshall” grimace on her face, and [Timothy Olyphant] shows up as the ex-husband who dares to remarry and is visibly dreaming of the Margaritaville Mixer he is going to buy with his paycheck. Atlanta is a notably warm place and everyone spends the movie sweat-stained and shiny because no one gave enough f*cks to dab between takes. There are so many parts of Mother’s Day to despair over—that this movie even exists is one of the most depressing realities of the twenty-first century. Don’t get me started on the “adoption=abandonment issues” subplot—as an adopted kid, this made me angry—but the worst is the ham-fisted attempt at progressivism represented by an interracial couple and a lesbian couple. Hudson and Sarah Chalke play sisters involved in Modern Relationships saddled with Texan parents, which means they’re tacky racists who scoff at imported beer. Esteemed character actors Margo Martindale and Robert Pine debase themselves as the racist grandparents in scenes so humiliating they are physically painful to watch. This conflict is resolved when Racist Grandma discovers her Indian son-in-law’s mother is also kind of racist, because everyone knows that racism neutralizes racism and just as long as everyone is racist, then no one is really racist. There is also an incident of racial profiling that ends when a police officer recognizes the Indian husband (Aasif Mandvi, you deserve so much better) as her doctor, which is a BOGO deal on racist stereotyping. There are two climaxes, one in which Jennifer Aniston gets her arm stuck in a vending machine, and the other featuring a wedding because the nuclear family is still the end goal of every woman alive. Careers are just things sad women cling to because they don’t have families. True womanly happiness can only be attained through the spawning and raising of young. I recommend Mother’s Day to no one, unless you happen to despise your mother and are looking for a passive-aggressive way to communicate your loathing to her. In that case, do go see Mother’s Day, as it is a soul-crushing two hours long, giving your mother plenty of time to regret bringing you into this world. But unless you are trying to drive your mother from your life as Saint Patrick drove the snakes from Ireland, I beg you to stay far, far away from this movie. I would rather push my mother down a flight of stairs than take her to see Mother’s Day. Attached - Kate Hudson at a screening of Mother's Day today in New York. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 6:38 PM [Iggy Azalea, actually] [Iggy Azalea at LAX, April 27, 2016] Duana wrote about [Iggy Azalea]’s “Becky” issues yesterday – [click here] for a refresher. Basically, in the most diplomatic of ways, Duana was saying that Iggy doesn’t know what the f-ck she’s talking about. And she wasn’t the only one. So, naturally, Iggy went back on Twitter to explain herself some more. She opened like this: No i dont think Beyonce is racist nor do i think calling someone "BECKY" is the same as a racial slur. I actually like her and the project. — IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) [April 27, 2016] Actually? ACTUALLY??? “I actually like her and the project”? God she must not know her words because that actually sounds patronising. And Iggy Azalea is giving [Beyoncé] her seal of approval. Like it’s up to Iggy Azalea to decide whether or not “the project” is up to standard. I’m telling you. I told you from a long, long time ago that I wasn’t a believer, back when everyone was grooving to Fancy. Iggy Azalea. Nope. BUT, no i dont think its great to use stereotypical names to describe ANY race. I think we can all agree on that. — IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) [April 27, 2016] AND WE ALL KNOW "becky" started because you all think white girls just go around slobbing on everyones dick. Im good on being called that. — IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) [April 27, 2016] AND YOU WILL ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DEAL. because unless youre planning on walking up to me and calling me out my name, it doesnt affect you! — IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) [April 27, 2016] Attached - Iggy at LAX and then JFK yesterday. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 5:25 PM [The Honest Formula] [Jessica Alba at LAX, April 19, 2016] You know where we are with The Honest Company? They have so many lawsuits that Racked catalogued them -- [read it here]. There've been serious complaints about the sunscreen, shampoo and body wash, laundry detergent, and now organic baby formula. In the latest lawsuit, The Organic Consumers Association alleges, "Of the 40 ingredients . . . more than a quarter are synthetic substances that are not allowed in organic products . . . some . . . are federally regulated as hazardous compounds. At least one of these ingredients is irradiated . . . some have not been assessed as safe for human foods, much less for infant formulas." ([Source]) Although Alba didn't promote the formula launch as vigorously as she does the other Honest products, most headlines include her name. Stories include her image. She's the face of The Honest Company, and even though it consistently gets "not so Honest" type headlines, the brand is not hurting. As the Racked article asserts, they are moving toward an IPO or sale and some analysts don't see these lawsuits making a "material impact." The consensus is that Honest customers are loyal to the brand. And let's not forget that Jessica has access to millions of dollars in free publicity via celebrity gifting (to her friends), paparazzi photos, and general "Jessica Alba: Mom" stories that many magazines are happy to provide space for. A few dozen negative headlines about Honest won't sink years of good PR. What Honest hasn't done, at the time of this writing, is post a defence on its website. Typically this is its strategy around lawsuits or criticism - they come out with an emotional (from Jessica) and scientific (from the company) rebuttal ([click here] for a refresher). Instead, the company has issued a brief statement to Page Six to say they are [confident it will be dismissed], as they do with all of their legal skirmishes. Here's what I don't understand about the laundry detergent and baby formula lawsuits, which both center around ingredients: either those ingredients are in the products or not, right? Am I missing something? Is the formula organic or not? Is this difficult to prove? In both cases The Honest Company cites third party certification, and when it comes to the laundry detergent (not sure about the baby formula), they also use third party manufacturing. Is this simply growing pains in dealing with complex ingredients and rigorous standards, or is the executive team out of its depth when it comes to sourcing and securing manufacturing partners? Is the marketing team overly aggressive with its labelling and messaging, or is this lying, plain and simple? I think at this point everyone can agree that these allegations mean something. There are too many lawsuits, too many complaints. Jessica can't hold up the "we get more criticism because of our celebrity connection" defence here. If anything, Honest has had to move forward from the "[Jessica Alba] needs cute, non-toxic diapers" story to evolve. And it has. Today, Honest pounds on the idea of responsibility, consumer transparency, labeling and removing toxins, and setting the gold standard in environmentally sound domestic products. Peace of mind (for the hip parent who can afford it), that's what the brand sells. But is it what the products really offer? That's not a question Jessica will have to answer today (or any time soon) because there's always more opportunity for a mocktress. In what is certainly fortuitous timing, today is Jessica's birthday -- that will be the main headline and this lawsuit will turn into a footnote. It's fine. Until next time. Attached - Jessica Alba at LAX last week. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 4:40 PM [Gwyneth 40th software upgrade] [Gwyneth Paltrow covers Red Magazine] Forty to me doesn’t mean what I used to think it meant. Which is not a unique statement at all. Anything over 30 just used to seem so old. And then you get there and you’re like, wait a minute, I don’t feel old, not at all. In fact, I think I feel younger because, weirdly, I know more? And by knowing more I’m even more interested? Hilariously I just read a headline today that said “[Two-thirds of millennials are bored of life]”. And then a millennial came into my office and confirmed it by saying that he and his friends talk on the phone every night about how bored they are. I got less and less bored the older I became. And so I noted in particular what G had to say about getting to 40 during her interview with Red: “At 40, my life changed so much. I think every woman around that time gets this massive software upgrade. You‘re just different. You’re upgraded. For me there were just a bunch of changes I had to make to really be true to myself and really live my happiness. And you have to be brave and make the choice to do that, to truly accept yourself and love yourself and really forgive yourself for your mis-steps. So it’s been a long interesting road to get to the place where I feel really content and that I really know myself and like myself. I wish they could teach girls to do this when they are 16 instead of 40, but that’s part of life.” My language, in general, is not G’s language. “Living my happiness” is not my personal conscious philosophy but I do agree about that “software upgrade”. About all the compound learning that happens as you move through life and how it just makes you curious about more. Which, as f-cking Pollyanna as this sounds, is actually a lot of fun. And totally not boring. [Gwyneth]’s upgrade has manifested itself in the form of Goop and her lifestyle brand – a source of much mockery and anger. Especially when she’s telling you to steam your vagina and eat whatever. Does she annoy you as much when she actually talks about “business”? At one point she’s asked about Goop clothing and whether or not Goop will eventually show at fashion week. Her response: “Definitely not. We believe that the system fashion operates under now - with the big stores dictating delivery schedules - is going to fall apart. ‘Buy-now, wear-now’ is very big and we want to sell the way that women want to shop. When it’s July and I’m buying a really thick cashmere sweater, that kind of takes the fun out of it. We think there’s a lot of white space in the market for a direct-to-consumer line at a little higher price point. When you buy something really beautiful and luxurious, folded into the price is the stores, the huge marketing team and all of this other stuff that we don’t have, so we can give those savings to the customer. I think it’s really exciting. The plans are always changing, but that is the idea.” That’s a big statement. She’s basically telling Saks and Barneys that they’re over, challenging conventional fashion consumer schedule – and she’s not the first to do it, obviously, but she’s saying it from the perspective of an industry player now and not as an actress who wears clothes. Will you accept her as such? Or are you kinda into Gwyneth, CEO? One more thing – G does talk about the divorce. She’s talked about her divorce more than she’s ever talked about her marriage. And she reveals here that she and [Chris Martin] were broken up for a year before they announced it: “Time is an important part in it as well. We had broken up a year before we announced it, so we would have this time to work through everything. But it’s also almost about having to press the ‘override’ button whenever you feel angry or jealous or whatever, broken-hearted. You have to press the button - I’m going back to the baseline of I love this person, he’s the father of my children, he’s a wonderful man. I’m just going to put my shit aside for right now. It really has not been easy for me at times, I’m sure it’s not been easy for him. But when we said we’re going to put the children first, we meant [it]. If you want to put your children first then why are you slagging your husband off in front of them? So we really tried [and] that meant I’m gonna check my sh-t at the door, and I’m going to focus on all the reasons that I love you, that you’re like my brother and my family forever and we’ll deal with that stuff another time. It’s not always easy, but it’s just the way we wanted to try to do it,” she says. “I have to say it wasn’t the outcome we were hoping for, but it was our outcome and we’ve really done the best that we can.” Interestingly, if that’s the case, then that final year, when they were officially not together anymore, was when we officially saw them together the most. Like this: [Embed from Getty Images] [Click here] to read the full Gwyneth Paltrow piece at Red. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 3:48 PM [Kelly Rowland won’t talk about Lemonade] [Kelly Rowland steps out at SoHo House in West Hollywood, April 27, 2016] We’ve been obsessing over Lemonade all week. Lainey has written about it every day. We won’t stop obsessing. Its importance is not up for debate. I might go back to school just to take all the classes that will inevitably be taught on Lemonade. Anyway, a local morning show [in Chicago] thought it would be a good idea to casually ask [Kelly Rowland] about her BFF’s masterpiece. Here’s what happened: The transcript if you don’t want to watch the video: TV Anchor: All the talk this week has been about [Beyoncé’]s new album. Have you heard it yet? Have you had an opportunity to get some thoughts on the whole thing? Kelly: I sure have. It’s great. It’s absolutely great. TV Anchor: Really different though, right? Kelly: Yes, really different. TV Anchor: Is the … Kelly: But getting back to what I’m here to talk about… So the first thing Dean Richards of WGN-Chicago could think to ask Kelly about Lemonade was “Have you heard it yet?” and comment that it’s “really different though, right?” Please. The best writers around the world are crafting gorgeous, in-depth, Pulitzer-worthy dissections of this ground-breaking piece of art and dude comes up with “really different though, right?” This would have been my response: [via GIPHY] So, the asinine ‘questions’ didn’t even deserve a reply and yet Kelly humours him with short but sweet answers, and a smile throughout. By the second question though, she’s done. Kelly is in Beyoncé’s inner circle. They are sisters. Kelly knows when to keep sh-t on lock. She wasn’t going to give us gossip headline fodder. She knew the next question would be a basic reference to cheating and Jay Z and she shut it down before it could go there. I am a television producer. I understand wanting to ask the thing everyone is talking about. I get that these anchors were just trying to do their jobs but I don’t have patience for people who are sh-t at their jobs. I don’t have patience for people who clearly didn’t put any thought or effort into their questions. This isn’t a case of a bratty starlet deciding to disrespect a poor local morning show host just because she can. If you watch the video, you can tell that there’s a delay. It was probably very early in the morning and like I said, the hosts did not put in the work. Especially with the cultural and political significance of Lemonade, these hosts, should have STUDIED if they were going to even approach the subject. Most outlets are calling the interaction “awkward” or “cringe-worthy.” I would feel awkward too if I had to hide in shame from the BeyHive while listening to Nickelback. Kelly handled this interview with as much patience as possible considering she was there to talk about her new BET reality show called Chasing Destiny where she’s looking for the next big girl group (how am I not watching this?) and her work with Boys & Girls Club of America and Claritin to promote the importance of going outside to kids. So she didn’t have time for this foolery. Boy, bye! Yes, I’ve been saying that all week. Attached- Kelly Rowland out in LA yesterday. [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:43 PM [“Boycott Beyoncé”] [Beyoncé and Blue Ivy Carter] She performed Formation at the Super Bowl and they tried to be mad about it by organising a protest at NFL headquarters. The only people who showed up were members of the BeyHive ready to protest the protestors. And there was some talk of a police boycott? This is what Beyoncé thinks of the boycott: Beyoncé is selling BOYCOTT BEYONCÉ t-shirts as tour merch 😂 [pic.twitter.com/zjD3HcV7XG] — Beyoncé Australia (@BeyonceAUS) [April 27, 2016] How many of those do you think sold last night in Miami at the Formation World Tour kickoff? Sasha’s been emailing me all morning because we’re going to the Toronto stop on May 25. She wants the Sketch Muscle Tank. More accurately, these were her words: “I will knock down booty cut-off wearing teens for that.” So, as [Beyoncé] said herself: You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation Always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper Those lyrics were written well before this week, well before February. She knows. And that’s what you always have to keep in mind when you’re studying Beyoncé. She knows. So whatever we think we know, she knew first. Last night, then, at the end of the show, during Halo, when she shouted out [Jay Z], who was there in the audience, telling her fans that… "I want to dedicate this song to my family, thank you guys for supporting me. I want to dedicate this song to my beautiful husband, I love you so much." …She knows that we’re going to interpret this a thousand different ways. And one of those ways is that all of this has been an elaborate marketing strategy to sell, sell, sell. But then you remember what Solange looked like in that elevator and, well, can you say that with 100% certainty? You can’t. Nobody can. Which is why the “sources” who are telling Page Six and PEOPLE and US Weekly that it’s all been a hoax or that they did almost break up or that he cheated so many times or that the two schemed this together for Tidal etc – how would they know when only Beyoncé knows? If they’re only telling you now that they know, why weren’t they able to tell you beforehand about the album, about Lemonade, about all the cameos in the film, about any of it until after it happened? Where were those “sources” then? Only Beyoncé knows. The rest of it is just theory. So here’s my new theory: What if Beyoncé and Jay Z are already amicably done? And what if this tour is her final gift to him before she steps? Like the ultimate, ultimate masterpiece in Conscious Uncoupling. You think Gwyneth and Chris were the most civilised? Here comes Beyoncé, giving her ex $50 million in tour earnings as a farewell bonus and feeling no f-cking way about it because she has so much more. And the way she’s going to TOP her Lemonade self, in two years let’s say, is to reinvent herself as BeySingle. I’m not sure I believe that but I believe it no more and no less than I believe any of the other possibilities. [Source] [Click here for the rest of the photos.] Posted at 2:14 PM [Privacy Policy] - [Unsubscribe]