Newsletter Friday, September 22, 2017

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Friday, September 22, 2017 [Intro for September 22, 2017]( [Lena Waithe speaks onstage during the 11th Annual ADCOLOR Awards at Loews Hollywood Hotel on September 19, 2017 in Hollywood, California]( Dear Gossips, Before we wrap up Emmy week, let’s once again shout out Lena Waithe who became the first black woman to win an Emmy for comedy writing and who gave one of the best speeches of the night, if not the best speech of the night. And, as [she told Vulture]( in a new interview after her win, those words were unprepared. Both Lena and Donald Glover made history that night. That history is also a responsibility. Because even though they may have achieved a “first”, there are so many people who came before. And Lena knows who they are: “(Donald and I) shared a moment as we were waiting to get our Emmys engraved. You know, to be two history makers is something that I don’t think is lost on either one of us. I think he’s aware that we’re vessels for this moment. But can’t nobody tell me that Debbie Allen didn’t deserve an Emmy [for directing A Different World]. Can’t nobody tell me that Susan Fales-Hill [showrunner for A Different World] and Yvette Lee Bowser [creator of Living Single and writer on A Different World] shouldn’t have gotten an Emmy for their phenomenal writing for television. We know that we came up during a time when the industry and the world was a little more ready to embrace our voices, and we share these awards with them. This is bigger than us. This time, stars aligned and there has to always be a first, but it’s a responsibility that we take very seriously.” Lena is a winner but she’s also a fan, and the interview is delightful when she shares her reactions to meeting some of her faves. Like Nicole Kidman and Reese Witherspoon who came up to her to congratulate her. She loves Big Little Lies. In her words, “Big Little Lies is my sh-t!” I love her. And I love what she said about where her Emmy is. And why she has to kind of forget about it now: “Right now it’s in my office, which is a little daunting. I can’t write in there anymore because the Emmy is staring at me like, “Is this Emmy worthy? Is this really great? You could do better.” So I need to get it out of there so I can go in there and be normal and write scripts that are just okay.” This is what Duana and I talk about on [Show Your Work]( all the time – that you can’t let “great” get in the way of “good”. Or even “just okay”. And the best lesson Duana taught me that was taught to her by someone else (hello Brendon): you can’t fix nothing. Just write it. Even if it sucks, at the very least, you can improve sh-t. It’s impossible to improve nothing. I’ve now re-watched the Master Of None “Thanksgiving” episode twice since Sunday. God it’s so f-cking good. Because, yes, most importantly it’s about coming out but also, it’s about family and it’s about friendship. It’s about Dev being a regular at Denise’s over the holiday, a tradition observed year after year. It’s about the people who are so fully embraced into our lives, they don’t just know you, they also know all the other people who are closest to you. It made me miss my friend Fiona, in Vancouver, and how I can just walk into her parents’ house, even when she’s not around, and go into the cheese drawer in the fridge and make myself a sandwich. [Click here]( to read Lena’s full interview with Vulture. Attached – Lena at the ADCOLOR Awards on Tuesday. Have a great weekend! Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 11:48 AM [What Else?]( How sincere do you think [Erin Foster is about David’s Foster’s relationship with Katharine McPhee](? Because if it’s not sincere…well. But let’s back it up. If you’re familiar with Erin Foster, you know her brand isn’t exactly sweetness and hugs. Her show, Barely Famous, the show she co-created with her sister, Sara, is snarky take on Hollywood – and Hollywood tropes. Oh, like the trope about the old Hollywood star with multiple ex-wives who dates someone half his age. So. What will happen if/when Katharine comes over for Thanksgiving dinner? (Dlisted) Millennial Pink is still a thing. But also? [So are unicorns and mermaids](. Unicorns and mermaids have been all over Instagram for months. Brie Larson made a movie called Unicorn Store. You’ve probably heard about the unicorn frappacino at Starbucks. And now they’re creeping into baked goods. Some dismiss the trend as juvenile. Others argue that there’s greater meaning behind it. I’m over here thinking about Mariah Carey. Hasn’t Mimi always been about unicorns and mermaids?!? (Pajiba) Speaking of Millennial Pink, Rihanna’s been doing pink since before it was even given that name. A lot of pink. So much pink. [Here’s a review of all the pink she’s ever worn](. All pink everything. (BET) Shania Twain. In gold. And fishnets. And thigh high boots. That are sparkly. Again, where Shania is concerned, it’s not any one thing. [It’s that all the things are all together](. Take away the boots and it’s an instant improvement. Or even the earrings. Outfits are like sundae toppings. Too many toppings never works out right because the sh-t is spilling everywhere and you’re too busy figuring out how to eat it you can’t enjoy eating it. I have a two topping policy on my sundaes, max. (Go Fug Yourself) How Taylor Swift has been able to spend time with Joe Alwyn [in London without getting busted](. But also… I guess they can’t use that spot as their hideout now that someone’s blown their cover. Interestingly it’s the UK Sun that broke this story and the original story that Taylor and Joe are dating. This is not a coincidence. The dead Taylor preferred to leak American. The new Taylor prefers to leak British. Same old Taylor though. (Cele|bitchy) Have I ever mentioned how much I love running to The Killers? I shouldn’t say “love”. I never “love” running. In fact, I hate running. Which is why I need music to pump me up. And there are several high pump Killers songs on my running playlist. Human is probably the one that gets me most jacked up. Anyway, [the new Killers album is out](. Wonder if there’s any running music on there. (Entertainment Weekly) [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 7:20 PM [Prince Harry before the kickoff]( [Prince Harry attends the True Patriot Love Symposium at Scotia Plaza during a pre Invictus Games event on September 22, 2017 in Toronto, Canada]( The kickoff of what? Well, officially, the Invictus Games. The opening ceremony is tomorrow and the closing ceremony is next Saturday. Unofficially it could be the kickoff of the official stage of his relationship with [Meghan Markle](. Everyone’s expecting her to attend one of or a few of the events – perhaps the first time she and Harry will be seen together as a couple on duty. Here’s [Harry]( today in Toronto at the True Patriot Love Symposium where crowds of mostly women gathered to see him (and lament the fact that they have no chance with him.) He also met with athletes and their family members and other representatives of the Invictus Games. Harry’s actually been in Toronto for a few days now. At least since Tuesday. And he’s managed to stay undercover, no photos, no sightings. Or if there were sightings, they didn’t result in his cover being blown. So he’s had a few quiet days in town with Meghan before being visible for the next week. Will they finally give us that photo though? The first photo of the two of them standing side-by-side, high quality, so that at least we don’t have to keep splicing headshots of them together. Not that that should be a priority or anything. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 6:32 PM [Channing Tatum is barely in Kingsman: The Golden Circle]( [Colin Firth and Taron Egerton attend the 'Kingsman: The Golden Circle' press conference at Yongsan CGV on September 21, 2017 in Seoul, South Korea]( This is relevant information you need going into Kingsman: The Golden Circle. The sequel to the surprise 2015 hit Kingsman: The Secret Service, Golden Circle is heavily advertising Channing Tatum as a new cast addition, but beware—it’s a glorified cameo and he’s only there to service one joke. It’s a decent joke, but the advertising is definitely tricky. (Jeff Bridges is, similarly, barely in the movie.) More relevant information you need is that Golden Circle is TWO HOURS AND TWENTY MINUTES LONG. It’s an ENTIRE HOUR too long. Even if you like Kingsman, this is too much. There is no universe in which a movie like this should be more than ninety minutes. Golden Circle is a classic case of mistaking intelligence and complexity. It’s a spy movie, but Kingsman isn’t really about twisty plots or tradecraft. The first movie, and this sequel, both establish clear villains and bad-guy plots with no mystery as to who is doing what and why. This isn’t Atomic Blonde unwinding a double-cross or James Bond trying to find the man behind the shadow organization. We’re very clear on who is bad and what they want. But because Kingsman is relatively straightforward, it’s like the filmmakers—including writer/director Matthew Vaughn and co-writer Jane Goldman—feel the need to pile on contrivances and over-explain everything in order to seem “smart”. Kingsman is satire, poking fun at dark, dour Bond and grey Cold War stories by being the opposite—colorful, bright, splashy-flashy and gleefully violent. All Kingsman needs to do to be smart is understand itself and stay true to its concept, which the first movie does. But the sequel, despite being a comedy, takes itself too seriously. Suddenly this isn’t mocking Bond, but trying to be Bond. Still, Taron Egerton is such a joy to watch, and Golden Circle gives him some emotions to work with beyond “cheeky”, as Eggsy struggles with the return of his presumed-dead mentor, Harry Hart ([Colin Firth](, who also gets some decent material to chew on), and keeping up a monogamous relationship with [Princess Buttsex]( from the first movie. This is Golden Circle’s best idea, and it plays directly into the not-Bond concept—instead of sleeping around, Eggsy is happily in love and committed to Princess Buttsex, and the ole “sleep with a target for information” schtick is a real moral quandary. (Their relationship also attempts to clean up that tasteless anal sex joke at the end of the first movie, but an even more tasteless visual gag involving a finger completely undoes it.) Everyone on screen appears to be having fun, especially Pedro Pascal and [Halle Berry]( as “Statesman” agents, the US version of the Kingsman (there’s a lot of denim and liquor and everyone has a cheesy Southern accent except for Berry, who gets that earnestness is its own reward in comedy), and [Julianne Moore]( as Poppy, the 1950s inspired drug queen-pin villain. Her plan to force the legalization of drugs isn’t entirely without merit—she points out the disastrous side effects the war on drugs has had socially and economically—and she’s gleefully over the top, right up to enjoying cannibalism. Kingsman is good at socially aware but batsh*t insane villains, and Poppy comes with fun touches like Elton John as a hostage and her goons wearing varsity jackets. But the length of the movie makes it impossible to sustain momentum, and though parts of it are enjoyable enough, Golden Circle wears out its welcome before the third act even begins. It also commits the sequel sin of “bigger, louder, more”, a problem exacerbated by the length. There’s a shorter, sharper version of Golden Circle winnowed down to Eggsy’s growing pains as a lead agent, but we get a smorgasbord of new characters—many of whom are dismissed halfway through the film—and plot points that wander off in superfluous directions. 99% of the problems in Golden Circle come back to the length, and the other 1% is that incredibly misjudged gag with the finger. Attached - Colin Firth and [Lainey's boyfriend Taron Egerton]( at a press conference for Kingsman in Seoul yesterday, [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 6:11 PM [73 Questions with Tracee Ellis-Ross]( [Tracee Ellis Ross in VOGUE's 73 Questions]( Why is it 73 Questions? I’ve never bothered to find out. Does it have anything to do with 1973? This is my birth year. I’m going to go with that as the answer. Anyway, the 73 Questions series was getting kinda stale, non? I don’t think I’ve written about a 73 Questions since…maybe Emma Stone? This time, however, VOGUE has given us a 73 Questions with [Tracee Ellis-Ross](. Who is never stale, never boring. For starters, she is adorable and her house is adorable and I love that she has four lemon trees. I never have a lemon when I need a lemon. It would be so great just to walk out the back of your house and just pick a lemon. But it’s not just about the lemons. It’s about the fact that Tracee, clearly, put some thought into what she wanted her 73 Questions to say about her. Obviously it’s not an accident that her brother, Evan, is there with his wife, Ashlee. I’ve never cared about Ashlee Simpson. But Tracee must care about Ashlee if Ashlee was invited to show up in her 73 Questions. Now Ashlee Simpson’s standing has improved – at least in my mind. Also? All those magazines, all those issues of VOGUE from around the world that Tracee has stacked in the living room. So she’s a longtime VOGUE reader. She’s naturally thrilled about being featured by VOGUE now, sure. That’s the immediate takeaway. You know what the subtle takeaway is though? She’s a good host. That’s what good hosts do. When they invite you over the show you how welcome you are by, perhaps, stocking up on your favourite drink, or putting out the gift you gave them the last time you were over, maybe a photograph of you, or introducing other guests to the great line of napkins you are producing. Tracee wasn’t just telling VOGUE that she’s a fan. She was being a gracious host. My favourite out of all of Tracee’s 73 answers? The fact that she wants to be her own style icon. We have seen her, over the last year or so, finally being recognised by designers in Paris and New York during fashion week. And at the Emmys, where she was the only one in Chanel. But also at the MET Gala – which, she says, happens to be her favourite look of all time. It was here first time at the MET Gala. And, ahem, [as I predicted beforehand](, she would be on the best dressed. She was indeed. Please, let’s revisit that outfit. On theme. Beautifully styled. And one to remember for a long, long time. Tracee’s 73 Questions is timed, of course, with the upcoming season 4 premiere of black-ish. So excited for the return of black-ish. Look, it’s Devante! He’s been photoshopped onto Dre’s back! Also attached - Tracee leaving the gym in LA the other day. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 5:36 PM [Smutty Social Media, September 22, 2017]( [Lenny Kravitz attends the opening season gala at Opera Garnier on September 21, 2017 in Paris, France]( [Chrissy Teigen]( really, really wanted to make banana bread yesterday and asked her followers for some brown bananas in exchange for an assortment of personal gifts. And you know what? She followed through on her promise, sending her mom to pick up the goods and delivering the promised items in exchange. A fair trade. Now some Silicon Valley asshole is probably going to get VC funding for a “crowd-sourced baking” start-up. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY. please send me a photo of u holding the bananas, giving the peace sign — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) [September 21, 2017]( if u have 6 BROWN bananas in the LA area, I will send my assistant to your home with a signed cookbook, John's underwear and a Becca palette — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) [September 21, 2017]( just for safety, my assistant asks that u taste a small piece of the banana in front of her before making the trade — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) [September 21, 2017]( the deal has been done. thank you, [@bymeg](!!!! [pic.twitter.com/f1wDrzO31Z]( — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) [September 21, 2017]( already home. that was...so fast. I will now do all grocery shopping like this [pic.twitter.com/DLAzKvDezI]( — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) [September 21, 2017]( I really, really hate to say this but. I need one more banana [pic.twitter.com/DBqKjQpSM7]( — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) [September 21, 2017]( my mom just goes "if I go he better have 2 bananas I not going in traffic for 1" she's like a real dealer — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) [September 21, 2017]( this is no longer my banana bread. this is *our* banana bread. — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) [September 22, 2017]( [pic.twitter.com/o32O9fVX7P]( — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) [September 22, 2017]( The thirst is real. Nicole didn’t even like the post. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. [Happy Birthday @NicoleRichie 🎈🎂🎈Looking thru all these photos brings back so many special & amazing memories! ❤ Just wanted to let you know that I am so happy for & proud of you. Such a beautiful family you have created & loving your new TV show @NBCGreatNews, so hilarious! 😹 I will always think of you as a sister & think of you often. Love & miss you 🤗 #SanaSa 👯 #BillAndSill]( A post shared by Paris Hilton (@parishilton) on Sep 21, 2017 at 3:56pm PDT Instead, this is how [Nicole]( chose to acknowledge her birthday. [Ladies let me tell you something. 35 was AMAZING. I found it easier to say no to things that don't serve me, and HELL YES to the things that do. I fell in love with the universe, books, and 90s rap all over again, but was able to take it in in such a different way. I've let my gardening slip a little, so at 36 I want to get back in touch with nature & growth. Here's to getting older & F-ING LOVING IT 🎂🌈🙌🏿 #36]( A post shared by Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) on Sep 22, 2017 at 8:21am PDT “Two supermodels and a baby.” Look at this photo. Really look at it. Was there ever going to be any other career option for Kaia? [Two supermodels and a baby... breakout star of Fashion Week @kaiagerber, mum supermodel @cindycrawford and auntie @iamnaomicampbell at dinner in Milan. Xoxo]( A post shared by Edward Enninful, OBE (@edward_enninful) on Sep 21, 2017 at 2:56pm PDT I know it seems like forever ago, but I find it interesting than even the Meryl Streep of the Emmys, [Julia Louis-Dreyfus](, and a big movie director like J.J. Abrams have to wait in line for a photo wall. Adam Scott, whom I love, I kind of get. Remember when Taylor didn’t ask him to “walk” [for her concert](? [Waiting in a packed crowd to get on the red carpet photo line. It was an unseemly clusterfuck. @MrAdamScott & #JJAbram felt the same way. @televisionacad @veephbo]( A post shared by Julia Louis-Dreyfus (@officialjld) on Sep 22, 2017 at 8:37am PDT Have I nagged you enough about The Good Place? Please watch it. Season 2 just started and if the first episode is any indication, it’s going to be as great or even better than season 1. And season 1 was fantastic. [Season 2 is about to get cray. Catch the special 1-hour premiere of @nbcthegoodplace in one week! Wednesday, Sept. 20th at 10/9c on NBC. #TheGoodPlace]( A post shared by Ted Danson (@teddanson) on Sep 13, 2017 at 11:00am PDT Half of Lainey’s obsession grew a beard. Do you think he puts beard oil on it? [A post shared by Artist & Director (@samtaylorjohnson)]( on Sep 22, 2017 at 6:28am PDT This is not a throwback. This is what [Lenny Kravitz]( looks like today. Still. Forever! [@esquire]( A post shared by Lenny Kravitz (@lennykravitz) on Sep 22, 2017 at 5:35am PDT [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 4:47 PM [Where was this at the Emmys?]( [Reese Wiherspoon at London premiere of Home Again, September 21, 2017]( [Reese Witherspoon](’s Home Again was not well-received by critics or at the box office. Reese’s advantage, however, was the Emmys. No one was talking about how much her movie sucked because we were all talking about whether or not Big Little Lies would prevail at the Emmys. And it did. Reese’s Stella McCartney blazer-dress was Duana’s pick for [worst Emmys look](. Pretty sure no one was fighting her on that. Duana, however, initially tried to defend it. She tried to defend it by saying that Reese was there in her capacity as a producer and so she dressed like a proper, all business. That was before Big Little Lies was named Outstanding Limited Series, before Reese and Nicole and the entire team went up to accept the award. Before Reese’s acceptance speech. For which she was unprepared. And rambled. And Nicole had to jump in and do some talking. The speech did not match the outfit. If the outfit was for a boss, the speech was not boss. Here’s Reese last night promoting Home Again in London in another Stella McCartney look that’s both boss and much better suited to the Emmys. Where was this at the Emmys? WHY wasn’t this at the Emmys? Also attached – [Michael Sheen]( and his new yellow hair. It’s probably for a role. It has to be for a role. Because he looks terrible. Which he would have enough of a sense of humour to agree with. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 3:58 PM [Two Models, One Leo]( [Leonardo DiCaprio]( Where in the world is [Leonardo DiCaprio](? Follow the model trail, obviously. That’s where Leo will be. Leonardo DiCaprio had to be in New York [for fashion week](. During the early part of NYFW, he hung out with Lorena Rae. Near the end of NYFW, [he was seen with Toni Garrn]( leaving a club one night, a night he started with Lorena. This is also what happened this week, on Wednesday. Leonardo DiCaprio Does Date Night Doubleheader with Models, Including Ex Toni Garrn — TMZ (@TMZ) [September 21, 2017]( He and Lorena went shopping. Then Lorena tapped out and Leo went to meet Toni for dinner. He and Toni ended up at her apartment. For most straight men, this would be a lifetime achievement of a day. Like the best day ever. For Leo, it’s one regular day in a regular week, NBD. Which is why he’s such a f-cking hero to every bro in the universe. Leo gets a different first class pussy at every meal time. But is his dick really that amazing that these women are happy to share it? This has always been my question about Leo. I’ve never been convinced that he’s a performer. That he gets it done so good that his models can’t get enough of it. I’m not sure I buy that he gets by on charisma and personality either. You know how for years we’ve been hearing about how George Clooney can work and charm a room? Have you ever heard the same of Leonardo DiCaprio? [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 3:15 PM [Wes Anderson’s inauspicious dogs]( [Wes Anderson's Isle of Dogs]( The Fantastic Mr. Fox is one of my favorite movies, so I got really excited when Wes Anderson’s next movie, Isle of Dogs, was determined to be another animated film, this time about dogs. Wes Anderson and his doll-like stop-motion animation, telling a story about a bunch of very good dogs? Say no more, I’m sold! The first trailer for Isle of Dogs came out yesterday, and it’s everything you’d expect from Anderson—obsessively detailed, eccentric bordering on twee, and a heart-strings tugger of a story about a boy and his dog. It’s slightly in the future, and the dogs of Japan have been exiled to a trash island after a “dog flu”. One little boy ventures to the island to find his beloved dog, and a pack of trash-dogs decide to help him. That’s adorable. And it looks amazing. There’s just one problem—all of the dogs are voiced by white actors. As the trailer shows it, the Japanese voice actors—and there are some, including Yoko Ono, Ken Watanabe, and celebrated Asian actors Tilda Swinton and Scarlett Johansson—are relegated to side roles. I imagine the plight of the voiceover artist isn’t as sympathetic to most as visible, on camera whitewashing, but the effect of Anderson’s film is that it reduces Japan and a Japanese aesthetic to mere production design. There is one exception, Koyu Rankin, who voices Atari, the boy searching for his dog. At least that’s one major role/actor match, but it does affect story context. For instance, that “I wish somebody spoke his language” line falls completely flat, because now it’s not a “dog vs. human” reference, it’s an “English vs. Japanese” joke. Would it really have been so hard to cast some Japanese actors to voice the dogs? I’m sure someone is going to land in my inbox, explaining how there aren’t enough English-speaking Japanese actors, but that’s not going to fly. Besides Japan’s thriving film industry from which to cull talent, there is Japanese diaspora around the globe. Get a casting director to do the legwork and find the talent. That is literally their job description. Or else, don’t set the movie in Japan. Why does it need to be Japan? There’s a bunny island in Japan, is the assumption that thus a dog island somehow makes sense? You’ve set the movie in the future and invented “dog flu”. You can set this movie wherever you want. Unless the movie is set in Japan specifically to exploit the aesthetics, which is gross. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 2:24 PM [Rihanna shows her work]( Speaking of rock stars, Liam Gallagher, Fenty Beauty by [Rihanna]( was released a couple of weeks ago. The reviews have been outstanding, in particular for the line’s impressively wide range of shades for every skin tone. Beauty bloggers and critics everywhere have been [posting praise]( about how [inclusive the products are](, how Rihanna truly tried to put out a collection that works for everyone. And she’s not done. A holiday collection has just been announced: Sneak peek for the holidays. OCT. 13 [@sephora]( [@fentybeauty]( [#sephoralovesfentybeauty]( [pic.twitter.com/OxoQpfbpW5]( — Rihanna (@rihanna) [September 21, 2017]( Lip colour is my thing. I need to try some of these lip colours. Holiday collection. You ready? Friday Oct 13th. [@sephora]( [@fentybeauty]( [#sephoralovesfentybeauty]( [pic.twitter.com/8vO4IaLUxS]( — Rihanna (@rihanna) [September 21, 2017]( Rihanna was in Paris yesterday to promote the launch. As you can see, she wasn’t just there to walk the carpet. For attendees, it was in-person experience. Check her out, taking selfies, applying eye shadow, giving makeup tips, and hanging out with the makeup artists working with her products. It would appear that Rihanna thought of everything when she was building this line. And it would appear she’s doing everything to make sure it’s successful. Which is why Fenty Beauty has been such a win for her. Rihanna showed her work. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:47 PM [He’s a Little Teapot and We’re Stupid F-ckers]( [Liam Gallagher attends the GQ Men Of The Year Awards at Tate Modern on September 5, 2017 in London, England]( Have you seen the video of [Liam Gallagher]( making tea? Yesterday it was everywhere, but in case you haven’t actually watched the video I implore you to do that now. (NSFW, so put your headphones on.) Liam Gallagher making tea is the best thing you'll see today. As you were. [pic.twitter.com/JaAB0p6Qr2]( — BBC Three (@bbcthree) [September 20, 2017]( It starts with him really enjoying the process and then, because it’s Liam Gallagher, it turns into a rant about the state of rock ‘n’ roll. Have you heard? It’s dead. And he’s probably serious, but Liam is also quite funny. Confrontational and insulting, but in the most hilarious way. You can see, a few seconds in, when he decides to turn it on and put on a little show. Liam is seasoned – he knows that people absolutely love it when he goes off like this and he is basking in the attention. How does one rant about tea? Well, he used to have four people making it for him. It was the 90s, and musicians were flush with beverage-assistant cash. Liam’s team had a “geezer,” a “kid” (which could literally be any age, he calls people older than him kid) and two f-ckers on tea duty. Now he does it himself, like a pauper. As he explains, money is “too tight to mention” because no one buys records. Pointing to the camera he says, “These little smartasses download f-cking tunes. For nish.” That would be us. While he shakes his fist and tells kids to get off his lawn, it’s interesting to note that, at 45, Liam probably doesn’t realize he is only about a decade older than the founder of Napster. Definitely, Maybe preceded file sharing by just a handful of years. So if we are talking about piracy and the state of modern music, we can’t blame millennials but rather the generation who came of age during Oasis’s prime. Liam probably doesn’t care about the specifics because as far as he’s concerned we are all f-ckers. Stupid f-ckers. And we have ruined rock ‘n’ roll. He has been eulogizing the rock star almost as long as he’s been a rock star, but is it really true? Or is that just another ego-stroke for Liam? Because if it is dead, he gets to be one of the last in a line of greats. But if they aren’t dead, he has to acknowledge that today’s rock stars, like Rihanna and Florence Welch, don’t need the old mold – his mold. (And Rihanna could definitely have 4 people on tour to boil her some water, if she felt like it.) What Liam is really grappling with is the encroachment of irrelevance most pop figures must face. And Noel. He misses Noel. Liam’s career will always have a footnote, and that footnote is his brother. As I mention often in Smutty Social Media, Liam loves to disparage Noel (aka “potato”) on Twitter and in interviews. A few weeks ago I came across this tasty nugget in the Daily Mail from earlier in the summer: Lisa Moorish, mother of Liam’s estranged daughter Molly, posted a photo of [Molly and Noel on Instagram](. That alone is great gossip but add to the fact that Liam has never met Molly and it becomes a nuclear sibling sh-t situation. It may also explain why Liam has been particularly vocal about Noel this summer. But can the battles go on like this forever? They are getting old. One day, they might be invited to join the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (they are eligible in 2019). Then what? Will they stand side-by-side for photos? Tearfully make up? Will Liam keep calling Noel a “working class traitor”? Will Noel walk off stage? More important, who is going to put the f-cking kettle on? Here's Liam at the GQ Men Of The Year Awards earlier this month. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:27 PM [Jennifer Lawrence’s mother! middle finger]( [Jennifer Lawrence and director Darren Aronofsky attend an official Academy screening of mother! hosted by The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences at MOMA - Celeste Bartos Theater on September 21, 2017 in New York City]( As you may have heard, [Darren Aronofsky](’s mother! was given an F Cinemascore after it opened last weekend. Worse, though, it only brought in $7.5 million at the box office. Paramount, however, is hoping that mother! will gain ground as Megan Colligan, the studio’s head of distribution, [told Variety that](, “I don’t think the story is really written on this movie”. Which is why they messaging around mother! has been tweaked, slightly, from “see the movie that everybody’s talking about!” to “come see the movie that everyone hated so much!” But is everyone really talking about mother!? (I continue to be annoyed at the stylisation and the punctuation of the title of this movie.) People who discuss movies for a living might be talking about mother! Cinephiles might be talking about mother! But this is the kind of echo chamber that we’re also seeing on political issues. Does the noise escape beyond its own environment? As mentioned the other day, Jacek, Emily, and I went to see mother! on Saturday. Didn’t care for it. Which is not exactly what Darren Aronofsky expected would happen. What he wanted was for some people to love it, others to hate it, and that we’d either love or hate it so much we’d be obsessing over why. This has not been my experience. And it’s not like I’m above obsessing. I am however not interested in obsessing over something so obvious. There’s nothing more obvious than a film styled in lower-case with a f-cking exclamation point at the end of it. Or a filmmaker calling his own movie a “[punk movie](”, which is what Darren said yesterday: “We wanted to make a punk movie and come at you. And the reason I wanted to come is because I was very sad and I had a lot of anguish and I wanted to express it. Filmmaking is such a hard journey. People are constantly saying ‘No’ to you. And to wake up every morning and get out of bed and to face all those ‘No’s,’ you have to be willing to really believe in something. And that’s what I look for in my collaborators and what I pitched the actors.” I gave him the same eyeroll I gave Ryan Adams, [all those years ago](, when he first broke up with Mandy Moore. And had to release a statement about the breakup to OK! Magazine about their split. This was his statement: "Mandy is one of those genuinely sweet angelic people you wish to meet your whole life. I am grateful for our friendship and how it allowed us both to grow and learn more. Unfortunately I am allergic to paparazzi and have found the best antidote to that sort of nonsense is staying behind the guitar and typewriter, staying close to my support group of friends and band mates and not engaging in activities that prevent me from taking care of myself or others. I found the entire speculation and subsequent photographs and intrusions terrifying and only wish to live as normal a life as possible, so that I might always remain punk as f*ck AND sober.” You see the similarities? Ryan’s art was being compromised by the paparazzi. And Darren’s art was being compromised because being an artist is so hard, OK guys? It’s so hard. So what I said then about Ryan Adams also applies to Darren Aronofsky: the active pursuit of being “punk as f-ck” is the antithesis of being “punk as f-ck”. That said, Hollywood is full of narcissistic navel-gazers (is that redundant?). Which is why Paramount is now pushing the “courage” angle as a way to promote their movie and [argue its relevance](: “This movie is very audacious and brave. You are talking about a director at the top of his game, and an actress at the top her game. They made a movie that was intended to be bold,” says Paramount worldwide president of marketing and distribution Megan Colligan. “Everyone wants original filmmaking, and everyone celebrates Netflix when they tell a story no one else wants to tell. This is our version. We don’t want all movies to be safe. And it’s okay if some people don’t like it.” Basically what she’s saying is that Paramount and Darren deserve credit for supporting and producing a film that isn’t a tentpole. And this is what they’re selling to the Academy. Darren was joined by [Jennifer Lawrence]( yesterday at a screening for the Academy in New York. Jen put up her middle finger, presumably to the haters. Because that’s “punk as f-ck” too. Because this is the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences, the governing board for the Oscars, the organisation criticised for being predominantly made up primarily of old white men. And getting THEIR approval is the mark of a true punk? [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 12:54 PM [Riverdale’s on-set shakeup]( [Cole Sprouse and KJ Apa]( KJ Apa fell asleep while driving and crashed his car into a light pole last week after [a long day of shooting Riverdale](. The Hollywood Reporter broke the story yesterday morning. According to that initial THR piece, [KJ Apa]( worked a “grueling 16-hour work day” before his 45-minute drive home, inciting Riverdale’s cast and crew to take on Warner Bros. in a battle over on-set safety. I should note that KJ and his abs are fine but the passenger side of his car was totalled. THR’s sources say the crash “ignited a firestorm of protest” on set over the show’s long hours and policy of not providing transportation to and from set. In a twist that sounds like the plot of Final Destination, the source says that [Cole Sprouse]( had “planned to be in the car as well that night but changed plans at the last minute.” I bring up this morbid detail for a couple of reasons, not just for my borderline-insensitive Final Destination joke or to equally-insensitively name drop [my obsession Cole Sprouse]( source is from inside the show’s production. But the from way this story is framed and the quotes they use, the sources sound like they’re clearly on the side of the cast members. At one point, a source says, “They're working these kids from morning until night… Someone’s going to die." Shots fired. Lines drawn. THR also notes that a call between KJ’s reps and Warner Bros. execs is scheduled for today. If that’s true, it would make sense that the actors would want their side of the story made public prior to the meeting, even though the incident happened last week. My gut reaction when I first read about the accident was, of course, they should be providing transportation on late shoot nights! How dare they put Archie Andrews in danger! That is the same reaction many fans of Riverdale are having. A fan tweeted me a link to the THR story calling it “unacceptable and dangerous,” specifically calling out the CW and executive producer Greg Berlanti. I think that’s the reaction the cast and crew were hoping for. It makes KJ Apa the victim. And just like that, you’ve got a red-haired, dimple-cheeked face of your fight. Warner Bros. [released a statement]( in response to THR’s article, contesting the idea that they worked KJ Apa too hard and he didn’t have a ride available to him, which is why he fell asleep and crashed his car. “… we want to specifically address the characterization that conditions on the set of Riverdale are of concern. We have a large cast of series regulars, and our actors do not work every day. On the day of the accident, KJ worked 14.2 hours. The previous day he worked 2.5 hours, and the day before that he worked 7.7 hours. KJ has repeatedly been informed about making production aware if he is tired or feels unsafe, and if so, either a ride or hotel room will be provided for him. The accident occurred last Thursday. Additionally, it is untrue that KJ was taken to the hospital. He was treated by first responders on the scene and released by them. We also sent a doctor to his home later that same day for a follow-up to confirm his well-being." My takeaway: WB takes no responsibility, claims they did everything by the book and their star should have let them know he needed a ride home. It almost sounds like they are blaming KJ for falling asleep, no? They’re painting him as an irresponsible 20-year-old who should have known better. Also, notice the “14.2 hours” instead of 16. It’s a purposeful correction to establish that KJ didn’t work THAT long. This is the same company that botched the handling of the [Bachelor in Paradise on-set scandal](. I don’t think victim-blaming is their best move. Here’s the rest of their statement: In accordance with industry standard policy, if any cast or crew member feels tired or unsafe at any time after working, the Studio will provide a taxi, a driver or a hotel room upon request. This is communicated to all cast and crew, both in writing and verbally, at the beginning of production and is reiterated continuously throughout the duration of production. WB really wants us to know that a ride is available to cast or crew if they ask for it. If you’re new to the industry though, do you want to be diva who demands a ride home? That may sound like a dumb excuse (and I want to make it clear that there should be no excuse for impaired driving) but a friend who has worked on a few sets in Vancouver (WBTV’s policy about not providing transportation is particularly enforced outside of the U.S.) said that transportation provided by the studio is rare. Another friend confirmed that actors almost always drive themselves to and from set. For most of the young actors on Riverdale, this is their first major job. If the standard is that everyone drives themselves, even after working for 12-16 hours and your drive is almost an hour away in a city you’re not familiar with, is it understandable that they wouldn’t eagerly request their own transportation? Also, the person driving you home may have also worked a 16 hour day. Instead of asking who was responsible for getting KJ Apa home safe, should the question be, why wasn’t he safe in the first place? Should 12+ hour days be the standard? [This Deadline piece]( notes that crewmembers are often scared to speak up about dangerous set environments “for fear of getting blacklisted.” At one point, a THR source calls Sprouse “a leader of sorts of the actors on the show.” I don’t like to remember this but Cole is a Sprouse twin aka those kids from Big Daddy. He grew up on sets as a child actor. If anyone knows about “grueling 16-hour days” in Hollywood, it’s this kid. If he is the one leading this crusade against the studio, it could be coming from years of witnessing a culture of long set hours and crews too scared to speak up. Let’s address the obvious discrepancy in the work we’re talking about and the work “regular” people do. These are actors. Nurses, doctors and first responders work longer shifts without expecting their bosses to pay their way home. “Grueling hours” on set for actors are not hours of hard labour. Usually, when we hear an actor complain about 16 hour days, we roll our eyes (ahem, Katherine Heigl). Yes, part of KJ Apa’s day may include hanging out in a trailer and yes, he’s a 20-year-old newly famous dude who maybe should have gotten more sleep the day before or taken the time to nap in between takes but this is still workplace. And a workplace that ends with a kid driving into a light pole should be questioned. Smallville, that show about Superman everyone has already forgotten, shot in Vancouver [for ten seasons](. Reports are now coming out that Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luthor) started a petition for drivers on set of Smallville because they experienced the same problem. If this blows up even more, how long before Tom Welling speaks up on behalf of the young stars of Riverdale? The union KJ and the rest of the cast of Riverdale are a part of announced that they are sending a team to Vancouver (not that this is a priority right now but this might mean halting production on season 2). [SAG-AFTRA]( called it an “extremely troubling” situation. If the Riverdale actors go head-to-head with Warner Bros., they may have a union on their side and other actors who will stand with them. Then what? Can an incident on a little CW show change what sounds like a systemic problem across an entire industry? [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 12:36 PM [September 22, 2017 – Smutty Shout-Outs]( [Beyoncé for Sarah]( Sarah! Happy Birthday with love from Diana! By request, here are new pictures of Beyoncé that she just posted, Zendaya, and The L Word. Happy Birthday to Suzanne P from RDJ (via your niece Jennifer)! And for Ceone and James who are getting married tomorrow – CONGRATULATIONS! Please know that you’ll be surrounded by friendship, loved by friends who are coming to celebrate the occasion from as far away as Sydney, Australia. Wishing you, James, and Pip a beautiful day …and a beautiful life together. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 12:11 PM [Privacy Policy]( - [Unsubscribe](