Newsletter Wednesday, September 20, 2017

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Wednesday, September 20, 2017 [Intro for September 20, 2017]( [Shonda Rhimes attends Glamour x Tory Burch Women To Watch Lunch on September 15, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California]( Dear Gossips, I know you’re probably almost over the Emmys by now. Or you are already over the Emmys and you don’t understand why I have to talk about it again. But please, stay with me. Please care about this as much as I care about it: Justin Timberlake has 4 Emmys. Shonda Rhimes has NO Emmys. Like… ZERO. Duana’s been shouting at the sky for a long, long time about how Shonda Rhimes has been underappreciated. How her series are never talked about with the gravitas extended to shows primarily conceived by men. Possibly because Shonda’s shows are enjoyed by women. Totally because, of course, a Shonda Rhimes production is considered Peak TV-lite. Too soapy. Or earnest. Too many tears. Too much love. Too much dancing. Too much crying while loving and dancing. Or something. Never mind that she was the one who put Olivia Pope on camera aborting the President’s baby to Silent Night, no regrets. Shonda Rhimes did that. Over the objections of the network. I care more about Shonda having no Emmys than she does though. Shonda’s too busy showing her work to bother with any of that. While Duana, Kathleen, and I we were all rushing out our Emmys posts on Monday, we were also rushing to finish so that we could spend time at [Shondaland](, Shonda’s new website. I’m still making my way through the content. Like every single article. Shondaland is inclusive, featuring a diverse group of writers and content creators – including Mallory Ortberg, formerly of The Toast! [Click here]( to read her piece on bras and bra sizes. And you must, must, must [click here]( to read Shonda’s interview with Billie Jean King ahead of the release of Battle Of The Sexes this weekend. The piece is full of teachable moments but here’s the passage that Shonda herself highlighted and is keeping with her – BJK’s response to whether or not it’s lonely to be a champion: “Leadership is lonelier than being a champion. Over the years, I have learned you don’t do it by yourself. Real champions are champions in life and you don’t get to that point and you don’t continue to excel as a champion without the support, the contributions, and the knowledge of others.” That’s pretty much Shonda, non? She has always shared. She is sharing now, on Shondaland, using her considerable capital to provide a platform for other voices, to nurture other talent. Shonda Rhimes might not be an Emmy winner. But she is definitely a champion. [So excited to be celebrating @battleofthesexesmovie and @billiejeanking tonight. Make sure you read my interview with #BillieJeanKing on #shondaland.com!#BattleOfTheSexes]( A post shared by Shonda Rhimes (@shondarhimes) on Sep 19, 2017 at 6:43pm PDT Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 12:54 PM [What Else?]( Girl Sh-t is the best sh-t. Boy Sh-t is usually the best sh-t. But the way Marilyn Manson and Justin Bieber are [carrying on with their Boy Sh-t is pathetically underwhelming](. Because there was so much potential! You have two different artists repping different genres and generations. Once plays the Anti-Christ, the other down with G-O-D. And … it’s over an item of clothing! This coulda been a Boy Sh-t Hall of Fame beef! What we got instead was an episode of Dr Phil. (Dlisted) Sparkly silver was a thing at the Emmys. And it’s a thing after the Emmys. Had anyone worn this sparkly silver Tom Ford gown at the Emmys, I would have probably called it the Best. Or at least the Best of all the Sparkly Silvers. The bonus here? [I can’t see Julianne Moore’s shoes](. Too often her shoes ruin an outfit. (Go Fug Yourself) I love a good debate. [Today we are debating Emma Stone’s best and worst performances](. I do NOT agree with the #1 and #2 positions. If anything, they should be reversed. Also, what would happen if we included on this list her appearances on Saturday Night Live and the time she presented at the Oscars, her first Oscars? (Vulture) Were you sitting around wondering how Jessica Simpson feels about her husband and whether or not she’s still into him? I wasn’t. And I’m pretty sure you weren’t. If you know Jessica, and by now we should all know Jessica, [there’s no doubt that she’s still hot for that freeloader]( Else? Girl Sh-t is the best sh-t. Boy Sh-t is usually the best sh-t. But the way Marilyn Manson and Justin Bieber are carrying on with their Boy Sh-t is pathetically underwhelming. Because there was so much potential! You have two different artists repping different genres and generations. Once plays the Anti-Christ, the other down with G-O-D. And … it’s over an item of clothing! This coulda been a Boy Sh-t Hall of Fame beef! What we got instead was an episode of Dr Phil. (Dlisted) Sparkly silver was a thing at the Emmys. And it’s a thing after the Emmys. Had anyone worn this sparkly silver Tom Ford gown at the Emmys, I would have probably called it the Best. Or at least the Best of all the Sparkly Silvers. The bonus here? I can’t see Julianne Moore’s shoes. Too often her shoes ruin an outfit. (Go Fug Yourself) I love a good debate. Today we are debating Emma Stone’s best and worst performances. I do NOT agree with the #1 and #2 positions. If anything, they should be reversed. Also, what would happen if we included on this list her appearances on Saturday Night Live and the time she presented at the Oscars, her first Oscars? (Vulture) Were you sitting around wondering how Jessica Simpson feels about her husband and whether or not she’s still into him? I wasn’t. And I’m pretty sure you weren’t. If you know Jessica, and by now we should all know Jessica, there’s no doubt that she’s still hot for that freeloader. I wouldn’t be hot for someone who declined a higher education at Wharton which, naturally, means she would be super turned on by it. (Celeb Dirty Laundry) Right. So thanks to Kirsten Dunst, we’re now sharing stories about bad trips. Here’s mine. Whenever I’m on a bad trip, I accuse Jacek of cheating on me. This is why he’s much more careful about which blends we get. The infidelity paranoia only lasts for about 20 minutes. Then I throw up and pass out. (Jezebel) Royal Sh-t! As you’ve probably heard, there have been a few shakeups lately in the royal household. And some people are whispering that Prince Charles isn’t happy about how William and Harry are running their corners. Now comes word that the Queen’s been personally training Will – and while this doesn’t mean that Charles is stepping aside for her son, it probably won’t help his ego to think that a lot of people suspect that his own mother prefers the future under Will than the future under Charles. (PICK RANDOM) . I wouldn’t be hot for someone who declined a higher education at Wharton which, naturally, means she would be super turned on by it. (Celeb Dirty Laundry) Right. [So thanks to Kirsten Dunst, we’re now sharing stories about bad trips](. Here’s mine. Whenever I’m on a bad trip, I accuse Jacek of cheating on me. This is why he’s much more careful about which blends we get. The infidelity paranoia only lasts for about 20 minutes. Then I throw up and pass out. (Jezebel) Royal Sh-t! As you’ve probably heard, [there have been a few shakeups lately in the royal household](. And some people are whispering that Prince Charles isn’t happy about how William and Harry are running their corners. Now comes word that the Queen’s been personally training Will – and while this doesn’t mean that Charles is stepping aside for her son, it probably won’t help his ego to think that a lot of people suspect that his own mother prefers the future under Will than the future under Charles. (Vanity Fair) [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 7:55 PM [Her name is Gina Torres]( [Gina Torres attends FOX Broadcasting Company, Twentieth Century Fox Television, FX And National Geographic 69th Primetime Emmy Awards After Party at Vibiana on September 17, 2017 in Los Angeles, California]( Here’s the headline of a Page Six article that made me yell expletives at my phone yesterday: “[Laurence Fishburne’s wife spotted kissing a different man.](” [Laurence Fishburne]( is (was?) married to an experienced actress who has appeared in countless movies and television shows over her 30-year career. She’s starred in Xena: Warrior Princess, Alias, Firefly, Angel, Westworld, 24, the Matrix franchise, and she’s the best damn thing about Suits. Her name is GINA “I CAN SHUT DOWN A SCENE WITH A LOOK” TORRES and I refuse to stand by and allow her to be disrespected like this. Do better, Page Six. Now, about these so-called scandalous photos of [Gina Torres]( kissing a man who is most definitely not Laurence Fishburne. Torres and Fishburne have not been photographed together since 2015. Last year, she told [The New York Times]( that she decided not to return to Suits because “[her] personal life needed to be tended to.” In these photos, she’s openly kissing a man (identified as Kevin Wright, a non-Hollywood guy from Utah) in public and not wearing her wedding ring. When I first saw these photos, I assumed that her marriage has BEEN over. If she’s comfortable enough to step out with her new man, I figured their 14-year marriage has probably been done for a while. I was right. Earlier today, PEOPLE officially confirmed that Laurence and Gina [have split](. She released the following statement: “With heavy hearts, Laurence and I quietly separated and began the dissolution of our marriage in the early fall of last year. There are no bad guys here. Only a love story with a different ending than either one of us had expected. Happily, however, our family remains intact and we will continue to raise our daughter together with love and joy and awe. As well as raise each other up with respect and love and the continued understanding that we’re in this together, if not side by side. As far as celeb breakup statements go, it’s got the same sentiment as so many before it, but it’s more candid. “There are no bad guys here.” Gina has been in this business a long time. She’s not dumb enough to get “caught” cheating. There’s really not much to see here other than another Hollywood breakup. I care more about the [Suits spinoff]( starring Torres’ incomparable Jessica Pearson that is coming in 2018. It’s going to focus more on politics and apparently Gina Torres pitched the idea to Suits showrunner Aaron Korsh herself. [That is badass](. Way more interesting than a quiet split or a lunch date at a café in LA. Here's Gina at a post-Emmys event the other night. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 7:45 PM [Crushing on Taron]( [Taron Egerton attends the 'Kingsman: The Golden Circle' Seoul Premiere at the Lotte World Tower Mall on September 20, 2017 in Seoul, South Korea]( [Taron Egerton]( and the rest of the cast of Kingsman: The Golden Circle have been premiering the film around the world. They were just in Seoul. London before that. For most of you, when you look at photos of the cast of Kingsman, the one who you’d want to spend a romantic evening with is Colin Firth. Or it’s Channing Tatum. Understandable on both accounts – I’m not going to side-eye your devotion to Mark Darcy and/or Magic Mike. But it's Taron Egerton who is doing it for me in these photos. Last year, I produced a segment on The Social with [Taron and Hugh Jackman](. They were promoting a mediocre feel-good movie called Eddie the Eagle. Lainey co-hosted the segment. Again, while most of our colleagues were oohing and aahing over Hugh (he was wonderful), Lainey and I were crushing on Taron. He is ridiculously charming in person, taller than you would expect and that accent? Good lord. I prepped him for the segment while Hugh was running late. He cracked jokes the whole time about “that diva, Wolverine.” The whole room laughed because Hugh Jackman is literally the nicest man in Hollywood and apologized profusely when he arrived minutes to air. The segment was hilarious. They were both pros but it was Taron Egerton who impressed me with his wit and overall HOTNESS. By the time Taron gave me a hug to thank me for the fun interview; I was ready to leave my life partner for him. The feeling, however, was not mutual. After the segment, another producer overheard Taron ask his team about "the one in the pink dress." I was not the one in the pink dress. Here's what Lainey wore the day Taron Egerton was crushing on HER. [There are no words to describe this duo! Don't think that we've ever laughed as hard as we did today! 😂 @thehughjackman @taronegerton]( A post shared by The Social (@thesocialctv) on Feb 16, 2016 at 1:01pm PST I'm still bitter about it. Sorry, Jacek, but Lainey maybe, possibly has a shot with a sexy AF Welsh actor and I really want to live vicariously through her. When he comes back to town, does she get a hall pass? (Lainey: he did not know how old I am. If he did I don’t think there would be a story here.) A few months later, Taron was back in town for TIFF and I saw him at a party. He was wearing the sh-t out of a black leather bomber and he was still charming as hell. He was still probably looking for Lainey in her pink dress. I will never get over this. Please take a moment to admire Taron Egerton wearing the sh-t out of various suits. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 6:58 PM [Smutty Social Media, August 20, 2017]( [Maggie Gyllenhaal at Autograph Collection Hotels' exclusive screening of 'Gemini' on September 19, 2017 in Boston, Massachusetts]( [Jennifer Meyer](F(AFEBD0A4E448D18656A3A75FBB891B9AF44A49AF780541DC9AABE5014AF3%20%20%2003D718593F7A0DB5983AABB90370432EA83BD15551ABD553B661CAD257A2A0EC0E7531F121B51242037E93154F45FD04AF6E6E8E53BAE6FFDB12B350216869CA3))/Jennifer-Meyer/Celebrity/29049) and [Jennifer Aniston](F(AFEBD0A4E448D18656A3A75FBB891B9AF44A49AF780541DC9AABE5014AF3%20%20%2003D718593F7A0DB5983AABB90370432EA83BD15551ABD553B661CAD257A2A0EC0E7531F121B51242037E93154F45FD04AF6E6E8E53BAE6FFDB12B350216869CA3))/Jennifer-Aniston/Celebrity/67) cover The Hollywood Reporter together. It’s been a huge year for Jen Meyer’s jewelry line – she announced a stand-alone store to open next year (and she was featured WWD, The New York Times and again in THR, just last month, for her philanthropic work). Jen A. has been a supporter of her line for a long time – she wore her jewellery in The Break-Up. For Jennifer Meyer, having friends in high places isn’t an advantage, it’s a way of life. And her profile has grown exponentially since she split from Tobey. He was actually the least interesting thing about her. [Dream cover wth my dream girl 🌟I love you JA! Thank you @hollywoodreporter for this incredible honor 💓Story & styling by @carolmccolgin 📷 @millermobley ❤️xo]( A post shared by JENNIFER MEYER (@jenmeyerjewelry) on Sep 20, 2017 at 7:44am PDT I started The Deuce. I’m not quite sure about the show but I love the era (70s), the setting (in and around grimy Times Square) and the casual cocaine use. Oh and James Franco plays twins. Of course he does. [Episode 2 of #TheDeuce at 9pm TONIGHT on @HBO #Candy]( A post shared by Maggie Gyllenhaal (@mgyllenhaal) on Sep 17, 2017 at 8:04am PDT He tagged Chloe Grace Moretz. It’s for real. For now. [These nights are my favourite ❤️. Missing my girl]( A post shared by bb (@brooklynbeckham) on Sep 17, 2017 at 10:25am PDT [Kate Moss](F(AFEBD0A4E448D18656A3A75FBB891B9AF44A49AF780541DC9AABE5014AF3%20%20%2003D718593F7A0DB5983AABB90370432EA83BD15551ABD553B661CAD257A2A0EC0E7531F121B51242037E93154F45FD04AF6E6E8E53BAE6FFDB12B350216869CA3))/Kate-Moss/Celebrity/83)’s daughter sat front row at London Fashion Week. But unlike most of the next generation, she said she doesn’t want to be a model but is considering [being a fashion designer](. Like her mom’s friend, Stella. [RG Spotted on the front row @topshop 👀 Kate, Lila & @edward_enninful . #kma #katemoss #topshop]( A post shared by Kate Moss Agency (@katemossagency) on Sep 18, 2017 at 3:25am PDT I wonder what this reviewer would consider appropriately interracial and not TOO interracial. What tipped it to “very”? [@kumailn found the best review of our movie, now out on streaming (Amazon, iTunes & more!) Edit: AHEM @kurtbraunohler wants credit for compiling this image & he deserves it 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼]( A post shared by Zoe Kazan (@zoe.kazan) on Sep 6, 2017 at 9:00am PDT Yesterday, Lainey and I were discussing whether or not to talk about [Rachel Bilson](F(AFEBD0A4E448D18656A3A75FBB891B9AF44A49AF780541DC9AABE5014AF3%20%20%2003D718593F7A0DB5983AABB90370432EA83BD15551ABD553B661CAD257A2A0EC0E7531F121B51242037E93154F45FD04AF6E6E8E53BAE6FFDB12B350216869CA3))/Rachel-Bilson/Celebrity/123) and [Hayden Christensen](F(AFEBD0A4E448D18656A3A75FBB891B9AF44A49AF780541DC9AABE5014AF3%20%20%2003D718593F7A0DB5983AABB90370432EA83BD15551ABD553B661CAD257A2A0EC0E7531F121B51242037E93154F45FD04AF6E6E8E53BAE6FFDB12B350216869CA3))/Hayden-Christensen/Celebrity/20062)’s divorce. We decided to hold it for this column today, and still I almost forgot to mention it. Which tells me that we will probably forget about it pretty quickly. [#fbf ❤️]( A post shared by @rachelbilson on Apr 21, 2017 at 2:27pm PDT [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 6:14 PM [The video game curse comes for Alicia Vikander]( [Alicia Vikander on 'The Late Late Show with James Corden,' Tuesday, September 19, 2017]( After Assassin’s Creed’s failure, the video game curse remains unbroken, and now it is coming for [Alicia Vikander](. They have tried everything with video game movies, from 1990’s super-cheese to high fantasy (Warcraft) to artsy realism (Assassin’s Creed). None of it worked, and nothing in the first teaser for the Tomb Raider reboot looks like it’s going to work, either. I have been puzzling out the video game curse for over an actual fact decade, and I think I finally figured it out—there is no audience for video game movies. Gamers have hours upon hours of cinematic storytelling within games, so why would they then watch a video game they can’t play? And non-gamers don’t care in the first place. But Tomb Raider is trying. They’re touting “Academy Award winner Alicia Vikander”. There are flashy action sequences—which literally look like challenges from the game, and again, gamers can’t play it and non-gamers aren’t into it. There is Vikander’s weird photoshopped [giraffe neck]( on the poster which set the internet on fire. And there is Walton Goggins, who, goddammit, gets me every time. (Boyd Crowder for life.) I’m going to see this doomed movie just for Goggins, whose hair is halfway to standing up in the trailer. When Goggins’ hair goes above 70% standing up, he is locked into a performance that is guaranteed watchable, no matter how bad the movie around him might be. (When his hair is +70% standing up and he’s also in something good, you get Justified and Vice Principals.) It’s not just the video game curse making Tomb Raider an iffy proposition. It’s also Tomb Raider itself, which looks like some basic sh*t. Nothing in this trailer is even mildly interesting, except Walton Goggins, and I’m starting to doubt Vikander’s ability to carry a film. Her best performances are supporting roles; when she’s the lead we get [Tulip Fever](. The original Tomb Raider movies weren’t great, but they had Angelina Jolie, who is utterly watchable. This teaser, though it is going for EPIC! WORLDWIDE! ADVENTURE!, falls flat and a lot of that is Vikander’s expressionless delivery. Did she hate it during production? Is that what we’re seeing? Or is she just not a suitable action heroine? Tomb Raider is a $100 million experiment in whether or not Alicia Vikander can carry a movie. Here's Alicia on The Late Late Show with James Corden yesterday. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 5:35 PM [Ryan Phillippe claims he’s innocent]( [Ryan Phillippe]( [Ryan Phillippe](’s ex-girlfriend, Elsie Hewitt, is suing him for [allegedly attacking her](. Now Ryan is planning to countersue her for defamation. According to [TMZ](, the voice of celebrity men’s rights movement, Ryan is claiming he’s innocent and that Elsie is bitter about their breakup and has fabricated the entire story to get revenge for him breaking up with her. TMZ also reported [late last night]( that the cops don’t believe Elsie either: Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... investigators don't believe Elsie Hewitt's account of what went down between her and Phillippe on July 4 for a couple reasons. First -- they say Ryan was shocked when cops showed up at his place after Elsie filed a police report ... but was completely cooperative. We're told he invited them in and answered all their questions without lawyering up -- like he had nothing to hide. Next, there's Elsie's story about the stairs. Our sources tell us the stairs she accuses Ryan of throwing her down twice are sharp and wooden, and would have left her with much nastier injuries -- even broken bones -- than what she laid out in her suit. So, wait. Let me get this straight. Ryan Phillippe is an ACTOR. When the cops showed up to this ACTOR’s home and he acted like he was all good with their questions and had “nothing to hide”, this means he’s credible and that the woman must be lying….because he was able to display behaviour that wasn’t shifty and nervous and anxious. Men who are guilty are incapable of being calm and accommodating, right? Just like women who’ve been abused can’t be controlled and firm and put together? This is most reassuring. Once again, a celebrity story is exposing the biases and assumptions that influence the way abuse cases are handled and why victims often refuse to come forward. I’m not saying Ryan Phillippe is guilty. What I’m saying here is that the criteria that was used in this situation to determine whether or not abuse occurred is not unlike many other cases of abuse – and it’s f-cking bullsh-t. By the way, remember Paulina Slagter? Ryan’s ex-fiancee [who I mentioned yesterday](? And her tweet? The tweet read “…where there’s smoke…” It has since been deleted. But it turns out, as [TMZ also reported]( (and their report from the cops not believing Elsie came AFTER they reported the following about Paulina, because we all need more assurance that Ryan Phillippe is innocent): We've learned Paulina Slagter went to the Hollywood division of LAPD on March 26 and filed an "Annoying or Harassing Electronics Communications Harassment Report." She claimed Ryan sent a slew of texts to her after their breakup -- many laced with vulgarities -- accusing her of infidelity and attacking her personally. We're told there were no physical threats but it was "aggressive." We're told in at least one of the texts he called her a "whore." The texts were "extremely angry." Law enforcement sources tell us, Paulina dropped the case shortly after filing it because she didn't want the publicity. The case is closed. Jealousy. And paranoia about being cheated on. Well that’s interesting because Elsie also claimed that Ryan got upset with her at a party because he accused her of “ignoring” him. Finally, many of you, in response to my post on Ryan yesterday, wrote to remind me about [Reese](’s win at the Golden Globes back in 2006. That year, she campaigned hard, they were consistently photographed together as a happy family, it was a presentation of perfection. As soon as she got that Oscar though, it was over and he was with Abbie Cornish. When her name was called at the Globes, Ryan actually shoved her. Pretty forcefully. So forcefully that she actually talked about it in her acceptance speech. That part when he shoves her? It’s been edited out of most of the videos I’ve seen. But listen to what she says: When you watch that back now, do her words take on new meaning? Or is all of it a coincidence? Because Ryan Phillippe showed the cops that he has nothing to hide. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 4:43 PM [Dad On Board]( [Aaron Paul and Lauren Parsekian attend Cinespia's screening of 'Some Like It Hot' held at Hollywood Forever on August 19, 2017 in Hollywood, California]( “I just rolled my eyes for a week.” That’s what our LaineyGossip site manager, Emily, sent me along with the shot of [Aaron Paul]( and Lauren Parsekian’s pregnancy announcement. [Hey everyone. Look what I did. Words can't express how excited I am that this little one has entered our lives. Just thought it was time I would share this beautiful news with all of you. ❤️👶🏻]( A post shared by Aaron Paul (@glassofwhiskey) on Sep 19, 2017 at 11:27am PDT It’s not the pregnancy (Emily, unlike Lainey, loves babies and kids) but it’s the “Look what I did” caption. It’s kind of cheesy, if you like Aaron Paul. It’s extremely cheesy if you don’t like Aaron Paul. I mean, we know what he contributed but she’s actually doing all the work. And he was the one to break the news publicly, which I guess is what happens when you are married to a celebrity. Her follow-up post was cute – two baby photos alongside her sonogram. [Oh hi 🐣👶🏼👋🏼!]( A post shared by Lauren Paul (@laurenpaul8) on Sep 19, 2017 at 11:46am PDT I’m sure they had options for a sponsored pregnancy test (you know, holding up a pee stick for money) or traditional magazine, which makes me wonder if they’ve already decided on whether or not to sell baby photos (their wedding photos went to [PEOPLE](). And in terms of his career, it’s a good time for Aaron (not that I think it’s strategic). Let’s do our semi-annual check-in: He’s still on The Path (which I didn’t enjoy enough to keep watching) and he voices a character on BoJack Horseman (which, particularly this season, is getting a lot of love from critics). He has a few movies in pre- and post-production but he he doesn’t seem to be burning through projects at the same pace he was post-Breaking Bad. He has not had a monster hit in theatres, has he? With the state of the box office and the glut of superhero films and franchises, I don’t think that falls on him. For better or worse, Aaron was never going to be one of the Chrises. But he’s not Taylor Kitsch, either. His advantage is that he is a perfect TV actor in the Golden Age of Television. A TV actor 20 years ago was trying to break into movies but we know – we can literally watch – how talent is now flowing both ways. If tomorrow Brad Pitt signed on to an HBO series, would you be surprised? Me neither. But fine, I’ve made this about Aaron (to be fair, he made it about Aaron first). Let’s get back to the baby. Any name guesses? I think it will be more out there than we would expect. If I had to guess on a theme, I’d go with celestial. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 3:45 PM [The Gwyneth Paltrow “Eating Brief”]( [Gwyneth Paltrow out in Barcelona, Spain, September 19, 2017]( When Sarah went to the goop summit this summer, she wrote about what she heard at Dr Steven Gundry’s “Gut Check” panel. He’s the dude who tries to read Dr Jen Gunter, Dr Jen Gunter, MD, FRCS(C), FACOG, DABPM, ABPM (pain) by saying she cusses too much and she read him back by saying… [SCIENCE](, learn some. Anyway, you know what Steven Gundry told people about eating? Per Sarah: “Dr. Gundry… skips breakfast and lunch half the year and eats all his calories within a couple hours per day, and tells us not to eat. “Don’t eat,” he says, “I can’t stress that enough.” Kate McAloon is a celebrity chef whose clients include or have included Miranda Kerr, Steven Spielberg, Courteney Cox, and, yes [Gwyneth Paltrow](. She just [gave an interview]( about her experience cooking for people in Hollywood. Here’s what she said of the responsibility of managing G’s diet: “When I first started cooking for Gwyneth and Chris Martin, it was when she was doing the first Iron Man movie,” McAloon said. “I had a brief from their assistants ... they eat nothing. They are very strict. They avoided any sugars, anything sweet, no dairy, just more vegetables. “When I got there I was trying to stick to the brief and I realised as I started adding more ingredients in, they said ‘Your food is getting better’. That’s what happens when you eat more than grass.” I f-cking LOVE this so much. That celebrities have an “eating brief”. What would be on your eating brief if you were someone who could afford to have one prepared and distributed to the people who had to feed you? My eating brief would be: Lainey hates raisins. Lainey hates white meat chicken, it’s disgusting, why do people eat it? Lainey thinks most food is over-salted. Lainey puts pepperoncini on everything. Lainey does not believe in standard recipe serving sizes. They are too small. A Lainey serving size is three times the serving size found in a regular cookbook. Lainey needs to eat rice at least two times a week. The rice must be sticky, Asian styles. She doesn’t understand rice that falls apart. I should stop there. But if I kept going my “eating brief” would be at least a page, single-spaced. Now tell me yours. [Click here]( to read more about Kate McAloon. Here’s Gwyneth in Barcelona yesterday. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 3:20 PM [Gossip Genie Says What?]( [Alex Da Kid and Halle Berry on Instagram ]( Yesterday in Smutty Social Media, I said that I’d like to Gossip Genie [Alexander Skarsgård and Halle Berry](, if for no other reason than their collective beauty. Well ask and someone (not me) shall receive. Yesterday [Halle]( went “Insta official” with someone named Alex. Not the Alex I was suggesting, but another one. His name is Alex Da Kid (I’m going with the way he styles his name, I’ve also seen it as da Kid), a 35-year-old very successful producer who has worked with Rihanna, Dr. Dre and Eminem. So it’s safe to say I won’t be predicting anyone’s future. In fact, I suck at wishing on the Gossip Genie, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop. (JLo and Leo is my ultimate wish. See? I’m delusional.) Not only did they go Insta official, but they posted the same photo with the same caption. (With slightly different punctuation. Are his ellipses a sign of thoughtfulness or hesitation? If one of my girlfriends was dating someone and he posted this, we’d dissect it for hours.) [My balance]( A post shared by Halle Berry (@halleberry) on Sep 19, 2017 at 11:00am PDT [My.....balance...]( A post shared by alexdakidofficial (@alexdakidofficial) on Sep 19, 2017 at 11:02am PDT Halle Berry is not new to this – she had a planned roll out. She wants us to know that she is serious with Alex (Da Kid, not Skarsgård). She hasn’t been seriously linked to anyone since her divorce from Olivier Martinez, so it’s a big step. And she has a complicated history. More complicated than Brad Pitt or Ben Affleck or Angelina Jolie? No, but people have always perceived her to have a lot of love drama. She’s been married three times (she and Gabriel Aubry never married), so she’s on par with Tom Cruise, Jennifer Lopez, Kate Winslet and Drew Barrymore. Still, the idea that she’s unlucky in love and prone to messy breakups has stuck, and not in the fun “Julia Roberts was a runaway bride!” way. No one is writing cute listicles about Halle Berry’s exes. But for a very famous, top tier movie star and glass ceiling smasher, what’s 3 marriages over nearly three decades of movie stardom? It’s downright economical, really. It’s not scandalous at all. Today, at 51, she is feeling herself. She is definitely feeling 35-year-old Alex (Da Kid, not Skarsgård). Oh and she chose the week she has a new movie coming out - Kingsman: The Golden Circle - to tell us about him. Did I mention Halle has been in the movie star business since 1991? So I’m sure the timing is purely coincidental. Also attached - Halle at the Kingsman premiere in London the other day. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 2:09 PM [Serena’s master class in classy clapbacks]( [Baby Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr. and Serena Williams on Instagram]( [Serena Williams]( has been a role model since she was 15 years old. She was a role model to me through my most formative years. There have been many times in my life when just looking at Serena Williams—a black woman, the Greatest Of All Time, the smart, stunning, capable champion that she is—has helped me to love my own body. Serena’s role model is her mother, Oracene Price. Yesterday, Serena posted an open letter to Oracene to Instagram, via Reddit. [Dear Mom, You are one of the strongest women I know. I was looking at my daughter (OMG, yes, I have a daughter 😳) and she has my arms and legs! My exact same strong, muscular, powerful, sensational arms and body. I don't know how I would react if she has to go through what I've gone through since I was a 15 year old and even to this day.... Read the rest on my @Reddit profile. Link in bio.]( A post shared by Serena Williams (@serenawilliams) on Sep 19, 2017 at 11:20am PDT The letter is a beautifully-written declaration of gratitude from a new mom who clearly has a new sense of appreciation for her mother but it’s also a deliberate snap-back at anyone who has ever tried to belittle Serena’s gifts or degrade her “strong, muscular, powerful, sensational arms and body” with coded racial language. It’s a message to anyone who has tried to negate her achievements and diminish her to a stereotype. Who does that make you think of? “I've been called man because I appeared outwardly strong. It has been said that that I use drugs (No, I have always had far too much integrity to behave dishonestly in order to gain an advantage).” I do not think Maria Sharapova’s name deserves to be in the same sentence as Serena Williams. There is no rivalry. There is no competition. There’s just an inferior white woman who continues to justify her mediocrity with racism. Serena does not mention her by name but this line is pointed. It’s purposeful. You don’t get to use performance-enhancing drugs, use the GOAT’s name [to promote your sh*tty book](, and reinforce all the most f-cked up stereotypes black women have been fighting against our whole lives without getting called the f-ck out. Many people have deemed this letter as Serena’s official response to the [racially-charged excerpts]( from Maria’s book which revealed her to be a sniveling, bigoted, entitled bottom feeder. When we were emailing about Serena’s post, Lainey said her first reaction was “F*CK YOU MARIA SHARAPOVA YOU GODDAMN PIECE OF SH*T PRICK MOTHERF*CKER ASSHOLE.” Of course, Serena (and I) may have been thinking all the same cuss words to hurl back at Sharapova but she could never say them. She would be labelled an Angry Black Women by the same people who have been implying this for years without grounds. Serena can’t post an all-caps ragey Instagram caption because of all the points Lainey made when she read Sharapova for filth [in this post](. Here’s a refresher on the words Sharapova used to describe Serena Williams: Intimidating. Big. Thick. Strong. And the words she used to describe herself? Small. Little. Skinny. Let’s not forget that Maria is five inches taller than Serena. [A study]( was released earlier this summer that found that black girls between the ages of 5 and 14 were seen as less innocent and older than their white peers. Girl Interrupted: The Erasure of Black Girls’ Childhood detailed the ways in which black girls are disciplined more severely than white girls at school and are seen as needing less protection. Because we’re all intimidating. Bigger. Thicker. Stronger. Right? Even now, she can make me feel like a little girl. Sharapova’s words get more utterly infuriating each time I read them. But Serena’s letter to this alleged “little girl” is stripping these words of their power. Serena is saying that [Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr.]( will grow up knowing that she is powerful, black, beautiful and that those distinctions should be sources of pride, not contempt. Serena grew up in the spotlight hearing her body spoken of in the most derogatory ways and yet, her mother maintained her composure. “I'm not sure how you did not go off on every single reporter, person, announcer and quite frankly, hater, who was too ignorant to understand the power of a black woman…I am proud we were able to show them what some women look like. We don't all look the same. We are curvy, strong, muscular, tall, small, just to name a few, and all the same: we are women and proud!” This is all class. So inspiring. So good. Emotionally, I was holding it together until the last paragraph when Serena refers to her mother as “meek and strong.” Those two things are often viewed as being in opposition of one another. Oracene’s meekness is her strength. Oracene’s meekness gave the GOAT the strength she needed to persevere through the bullsh*t. For many black women, for too long, it feels as if our mothers are the only people telling us we’re worthy and beautiful and capable of persevering through bullsh*t. For too long, we’re forced to listen to the Maria Sharapovas of the world categorize us as something we’re not. This letter is the classiest, most poignant and powerful “F*CK YOU” Serena could have given. To read Serena’s full letter, [click here](. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:32 PM [September 20, 2017 – Smutty Shout-Outs]( [Hunter ]( September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Each year, over 1,400 children are diagnosed with cancer in Canada alone. Right now, 10,000 kids across Canada are battling cancer with another 21,000 survivors still living with its long-term effects. The numbers are even higher around the world. There are numerous Cancer agencies throughout North America and a quick Google search will link you to one in your area. But we wanted to take a moment of your time this morning to share a story about one particular fighter named Hunter as described by long time reader and Hunter’s aunt Patty. Hunter was diagnosed with a rare brain tumour (DIPG – Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma) just before his 6th birthday. In the United States, DIPG is treated with radiation but in the last 30 years, no other treatments have been shown to extend a child’s life beyond a year or two. But in February 2017, a team of doctors in Mexico began a groundbreaking treatment and since then, Hunter’s tumour has shrunk by over 60%. Obviously these results are super encouraging. And Hunter’s family hopes to continue them through the year and into 2018. But the costs are overwhelming and not covered by insurance. Each combined treatment in Mexico requires $33,000. Please [click here]( and [here]( to learn more about Hunter’s situation. If you are able to help, please give through GoFundMe [here](. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:03 PM [Privacy Policy]( - [Unsubscribe](