âEvery time we have a discussion, thereâs complete alignmentâ100 percent buy-in.â It sounded too good to be trueâand, as it turned out, it was. I can distinctly remember the interview we conducted with an executive several years ago. When we asked about his process for getting buy-in from others, he couldnât wait to give an example. âDuring a Zoom meeting with my team, we had a particularly important decision to make. So, I went around to everybody and asked for a âthumbs upâ or a âthumbs downâ on my idea. Before they voted, I told them that, for me, this was definitely a âthumbs up.ââ âAnd how did that work for you?â we asked. âAmazingâit was unanimous!â the executive said. âIt was just incredible to see 10 people on my screenâall completely aligned.â Needless to say, this wasnât really listening. Contrary to todayâs habits, we should not be thumbs up, thumbs down, swipe left, swipe right. It should be about âtell me more.â And that takes far more than simply hearingâwe need to be active listeners. Lis [Black Korn Ferry logo JPG 400.png]() âEvery time we have a discussion, thereâs complete alignmentâ100 percent buy-in.â It sounded too good to be trueâand, as it turned out, it was. I can distinctly remember the interview we conducted with an executive several years ago. When we asked about his process for getting buy-in from others, he couldnât wait to give an example. âDuring a Zoom meeting with my team, we had a particularly important decision to make. So, I went around to everybody and asked for a âthumbs upâ or a âthumbs downâ on my idea. Before they voted, I told them that, for me, this was definitely a âthumbs up.ââ âAnd how did that work for you?â we asked. âAmazingâit was unanimous!â the executive said. âIt was just incredible to see 10 people on my screenâall completely aligned.â Needless to say, this wasnât really listening. Contrary to todayâs habits, we should not be thumbs up, thumbs down, swipe left, swipe right. It should be about âtell me more.â And that takes far more than simply hearingâwe need to be active listeners. Listening is an invaluable leadership skill. Itâs observing with our eyes and earsâand detecting the texture and context between the words. Because hereâs the thingâthe distance between hearing and listening is thinking and understanding. Thatâs why itâs up to us, as leaders, to ask ourselves: Are we really listening or merely hearing? Do we listen to the silence ⦠and to educate our intuition? Are we willing to listen to what we donât want to hear? And do we suspend judgmentâmaking it safe for others to speak their truth? Or do we only listen to people who think like us and act like us? If we do, then all we hear is ⦠well, us. The fact is, listening is a combination of observing and absorbing. An executive who serves on the board of a company confided in me just the other day about interviewing a candidate for a CEO position. After the interview, each board member gave their opinionâand this executive intentionally spoke last. She had counted the number of times the candidate had said the word âIâ during the interviewâ27 times! âThe use of âIâ that many times was a red flag,â she told me. Not surprisingly, the board chose a different candidate. Thereâs a power in really listening to others, as I can attest after helping with several interviews for a client recently. In the midst of our conversation, something Iâve been asking isâif you knew then want you know now, what would it be? Yes, itâs to see how people react and think on their feet. But more important, itâs whether theyâre willing to engageâand thatâs the difference between hearing and listening. Over the years, Iâve also sometimes asked quirky questionsâlike how would you make a tuna fish sandwich for me. Some puzzle it out, some get flusteredâand some really get into it. Like the time I asked someone: âA penguin walks into the room, wearing a baseball cap and shortsâwhat do you say?â
âExcuse me. What kind of penguin?â the person interrupted. âThereâs like 18 different species. Emperor, king, chinstrap, macaroni â¦â He ticked them off on his fingers. âIt makes a difference.â
More than a little surprised, I nodded. âFor the sake of this question, letâs just say it was an emperor penguin.â
âGood.â The person sighed with relief. âBecause theyâre like four feet tall. You could probably get an emperor penguin into shorts and a baseball cap.â In a wordâmemorable. This person had really engaged, revealing more of who they are. Because if the past few years have taught us anything, itâs the importance of being vulnerable, authentic, empathetic. We know what the opposite of that looks and sounds like, too. Iâll never forget being in the back of that room many years and a few iterations ago. It was the first meeting after an acquisition that brought two companies together. As the meeting was going on, a person asked a sincere questionâalbeit one that did not need to be addressed immediately. The leader in the front of the room quickly dismissed it: âThatâs not what weâre talking about.â Talk about first impressions ⦠In that moment, it was like the air was sucked out of that spaceâeverything stopped. No one would speak upâand no one was listening. The connection this leader had been trying to build with others had broken down. Listening takes timeâthat most precious of commodities. Yet the payoff is immeasurable. When people know weâre listening, theyâre seen. And when theyâre seen, they feel part of something bigger than themselves. Thatâs why one of the biggest gifts we can give others is our attention. Indeed, itâs our willingness to truly listen, learn and then lead. Weâre pleased to feature our book [Lose the Resume, Land the Job]() â and itâs all about getting ahead and advancing careers. Or, check out [The Five Graces of Life and Leadership](), offering imagery, emotions, and insights that capture the human side of leadership. Regards, Gary Burnison
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