Our comparisons are flawed

Hello! ​ This was a challenging week for me. Per usual, I packed my schedule pretty full – even going into the evenings with some podcast interviews, Clubhouse rooms, and so on. ​ I packed in a handful of interviews for upside and Creative Elements, appeared as a guest on a couple shows, hosted a couple workshops, all while leading the Community team at SPI towards [our next membership enrollment period](=). ​ But the straw that broke the camel's back was seeing a new friend have a super successful week. ​ First and foremost, I make it a point to be excited and celebrate the success of my friends and acquaintances. I want EVERYONE to find exactly the success they are looking for! ​ But I'm human. And when I see people achieve things that I aspire to...it's hard to be unaffected. ​ This is the all-too-common, 21st century comparison trap. We make so much of our lives public, especially the highlights. ​ These moments should be celebrated – but it's all too easy to see someone else's success and imagine it for ourselves. ​ They're working with that client? Wow, they are so lucky. They bought a house? That must be so nice. They won the award I applied for? I can't believe it. ​ I'm not sure it's possible to completely prevent these thoughts from entering our minds – it feels like a natural human response. But the jealousy, sadness, anger, despair that come with it...that's what we need to find a way to defuse. ​ I laid face down on the basement carpet Thursday and told Mallory, "I feel defeated." It felt like I was busting my ass...and still every bit of business growth felt like pulling teeth. ​ Thankfully, that feeling passed over the next 24 hours, but only with a lot of reminders and positive self-talk. ​ Here's what we forget when we make comparisons: outcomes are a result of inputs. We're all living different lives, and we all have unique inputs that have put us where we are sitting right now. From our upbringing and our education to chance encounters and one-off conversations. ​ A lot of it is random, and a lot of it is unfair. ​ But those inputs have made us uniquely us. So when we compare ourselves to others and the outcomes they are experiencing...we can't simply compare the outcome – we have to consider the entire system of inputs that got there. ​ We can't simply compare this one aspect of their lives, but all the sacrifices, decisions, and tradeoffs we've made along the way too. ​ In short: our comparisons are flawed, because we're aspiring to a different outcome without asking ourselves if we'd be willing to change the whole path we've taken to this point too. ​ Not only that, but the consequences that others have endured to get to that outcome are completely unknown to us. We have no idea what they've sacrificed, the tradeoffs they've made, their insecurities, and what plots of our OWN grass they may look at as greener. ​ So, if you find yourself falling into comparison traps...give yourself some grace. It's hard to avoid those traps. ​ But then remind yourself that you are on a unique path. It will be longer than some, and shorter than others. But your path is what makes you who you are. And isn't that more worth having than anything else? ​ --------------------------------------------------------------- ​ Nearly 100 people are joining the Community Building Crash Course 🤯 ​ Last week, I announced the Community Building Crash Course. It's a dense, 60-minute live workshop on building community. ​ I tweeted about the workshop, and things got a little crazy. As of this writing, 97 people have enrolled in this workshop, so I am hell-bent on making it the most incredible workshop I've ever hosted. ​ [twitter profile avatar] Jay Clouse 📍 @jayclouse [I get a lot of requests to chat about and even consult on community, but I don't have the bandwidth. So instead, I'm hosting a community building crash course in two weeks. This will be a dense, highly-actionable workshop on my approach to building community... 👇]() March 28th 2021 9 Retweets 135 Likes ​ You'll learn: - The frameworks I use for starting a community - My step-by-step recommendations for making it a place people come back to - The tools I use to enable personalized attention as a community grows - The (regrettable) mistakes I've made along the way Not only will this draw on my experience with Unreal Collective and Freelancing School, but my 5+ years of organizing local community via Startup Weekend. ​ It's great for creators or organizations looking to foster community, community managers, and aspiring community builders too. ​ It'll happen live this Friday, April 9 at 11am ET (8am PT). If you can't make it live, you'll receive the recording. ​ ​[Click here to register]() ($40) ​ --------------------------------------------------------------- ​ On Creative Elements 🎧 ​ We have a really fun, weird episode this week! I'm speaking with Nick DenBoer aka "[Smearballs]()" – a director, animator, editor, music producer, and remix artist. ​ With a following of 75,000 on Instagram and 25,000 subscribers on YouTube, Nick has worked with clients including Conan, deadmau5, KFC, Old Spice, Wieden + Kennedy, and more. ​ Nick has an incredibly unique style of animation, and has recently begun selling his work independently as NFTs on the crypto art platform SuperRare. ​ In this episode we talk about Nick’s creative process, the origin of the name Smearballs, his evolution on YouTube working with Conan, NFTs, and how his personal projects have opened new doors for him all along the way. ​ ​[Click here to listen]()​ ​ --------------------------------------------------------------- ​ Thanks for reading! I'm thankful for readers like you. Between this and [Life In Progress](), I feel like I have an outlet to be myself and share not just the successes in my journey as a creator, but the struggle too. ​ I don't have all the answers. I know that "success" in writing online usually comes from being super niche and creating "how tos" and "guides" to this and that...but I can't help but just share my journey as it is. I'm glad you're still reading along, and your thoughts and feedback are welcome any time. ​ Talk to you next week! ​ Cheers, Jay ​ PS: [Is this the next great musical of our time]()? ​ ​ Get Access to Life In Progress You only need 3 more referral(s) to start receiving Life In Progress. Life In Progress is a private, monthly newsletter that shares a deeper look at the life side of work-life balance. While Work In Progress will continue to document what I'm learning about work, Life In Progress will give a transparent look into what I'm learning about living and becoming a better human. 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