How to Survive a Horrible Boss

People always ask, “What do you do?” as if that’s who you are. June 6, 2019 [WEBSITE]( | [UNSUBSCRIBE]( [Altucher Confidential] People always ask, "What do you do?" as if that's who you are. [Standup James]( How to Survive a Horrible Boss By James Altucher Bear Stearns SHOCKED: The Resurrection Of Wall Street's Most Powerful Investing Tool? [Censored](- Wall Street’s Most Impressive Investment Tool Went Missing In 2008… - But has returned 10 years later. - Using a strategy to give YOU the chance to make $16,209 per WEEK on average. - [Click here to find out more.]( [James Altucher]Dear Altucher Confidential Reader, Mike Reiss made it to the top. He created his own TV show, The Simpsons. And had boss status. Co-founder = boss status. People came to him with questions, problems, ideas. They want answers. They want praise. But Mike did NOT want to be the boss. “It was the worst job I ever had,” he said. “It nearly killed me. I worked hundred-hour weeks. Fifty weeks a year.” It was too much. People write to me. They say, “I don’t know what I like.” “I don’t know my purpose.” “I need help.” Mike had the opposite problem. He knew what he liked. And he was good at it. Which is rare. “I can make jokes. I can’t really do much else,” he said. “And thank god it’s a job. I’m the luckiest man in the world.” But being “lucky” takes hard work. I’ll give you an example. Mike wrote this line in an episode of The Simpsons: “It’s a rainy day in Springfield.” It was chaos. It had never rained in The Simpsons before. “The animators immediately come to us. ‘What does rain look like on The Simpsons? Is it yellow? Is it drops? Is it lines? Then Mike had to direct the actors. And edit the audio tracks. He did the storyboards. And sat with the writers to go over all the lines. “Everything has to be invented when you’re doing a show,” he said. 1 joke = 100 hours of work from 8 people. “I did the math,” he said. And people still complain. Mike went online one night after a new episode aired. He saw a strange comment… “We did an episode about Homer smuggling snakes,” he said. “We put that on the air and said, ‘Well you don’t see that too often.’” Then he goes on the website. The comment says, “You had Homer smuggle beer on another episode.” He looked it up. “It was 22 years between smuggling beer and smuggling snakes. And the guy who was complaining was only 14 years old.” So after two years of show running, he quit. But he still writes for The Simpsons. Every week, he flies to L.A. People freak out. “You fly once a week!” They wish. Everyone wants the photo that says, “My life is better than yours.” Mike doesn’t want that. Because he knows the truth. He said, “I don’t deserve any honors for being able to sit in a chair all day. It’s really easy.” Mike started out as a joke writer for Johnny Carson. He wrote 60 jokes a day. Now he gets calls from Al Roker and the Oscars when they need jokes. He’s done being the boss. And he’s happier that way. “I like writing for people,” he said. He gets to avoid office toxicity. Maybe you’re reading this thinking, “That’s easy for him. He writes jokes. I can’t do that.” Wrong. Here’s how to avoid office toxicity: - Reject the ladder. Mike was the boss for two years. Now he doesn’t want that. He does what he likes. And he calls the kids “boss.” He likes it better this way. - Don’t try to please anybody. It’s a waste of energy. Mike gave me an example. He was working on The Critic. When the show got canceled, they moved to another network. The show aired and “the ratings were huge,” Mike said. But the vice president of FOX hated the show. He’d call Mike in the middle of the night just to insult him. How does “WEED-tirement” turn marijuana into 7 figure retirement funds? [James Altucher Marijuana Room](Let James Altucher spell it out for you. A special plan from one of the most profitable companies in marijuana… What he’s calling “WEED-tirement” has the power to double your retirement savings. Find out why you haven’t heard about this shocking opportunity yet. [Click here for all the details.]( Then he’d have these meetings where he brings everyone into a room. He’d put the show on and say, “I’m going to show you why this show is terrible.” But then everyone in the room would laugh. Because the show was funny. And the boss would yell at everyone. “Why are you laughing?!” “I can’t mention his name,” he said. Then he told his name. And we laughed. Because Mike freed himself from the fear of punishment. “But it was John Matoian.” The crowd laughed. “Did you ever got depressed about the situation?” I asked. “No, I really didn’t,” he said. But his co-writer was upset. He tried different things to impress the boss. But that didn’t work. It never does. - Expect people to be what they show you. If someone is mean, expect it. If they’re nice, expect it. Put it on paper. “Carl is aggressive, likely to insult you, pushy…” etc. Then look for the good. This is a trick I learned from Lori Gottlieb, a therapist who sometimes deals with difficult people. She said she always looks for the good in someone. This takes away fear. Which is important. Because fear blocks creativity. - Break the rules. Most people only spend 39% of the workday working. There’s bathroom breaks, office chats, complaining, etc. I played chess on my work computer. And switch screens when the boss walked by. I traded the negative downtime for something I actually liked. This helped. - Practice the ridiculous muscle. Offices are hypocrisies. The rules apply to some. Not all. And it can make you mad. “Why do we have to do it this way?” Next time something stupid happens at work, use your imagination. Try to make the situation more and more ridiculous. Until it’s funny. It will always be funny. Just keep exaggerating. - Decide what you can live with. Whatever corporate structure you’re in existed before you. And it will exist after you. Try this. Make a list of everything you hate about work. Then everything you like. Then look at the first list. And ask yourself. “Can I live with this?” - Say yes. - Say no. Figure out which one you say more. Then do the opposite. One will be freeing. The other will be empowering. - Think less of yourself. People always ask, “What do you do?” as if that’s who you are. It’s not. Mike wrote 60 jokes a day for Johnny Carson. He’d write for 12-14 hours straight. But this didn’t inflate his self-image. Or take over his identity like it would for people today. He said, “I sat in a chair and wrote jokes. It’s what I do.” Separate ego from work. Work = one of two things. Either freedom. Or sacrifice. - Pretend you can read minds Pretend you’re the boss. And you get mind-reading powers. You know what everyone’s thinking. And it’s awful. What would you want them to think? How would you want them to feel? Give yourself the freedom to leave your own mind. Sincerely, [James Altucher] James Altucher P.S. Of course, the best way to survive a horrible boss… is to quit and become your own boss. “Great, James,” you’re probably thinking, “except I can’t just up and quit my job. I have a family to support/bills to pay/etc.” That’s why I think you should [click here and listen to this message.]( Because it can show you how you could pocket as much as $24,829 (on average)... with one simple trade! [If you’re ready to be your own boss… you’ll want to learn all about this incredible strategy today.]( [$1: Your Ticket to Pot Stock Riches?]( [SykesPotStocks](This pot stock millionaire must be smoking something Because he just made[this crazy $1 offer.]( In short, he put all the details of his millionaire secret pot stock blueprint in a brand-new video series… And he’s giving it away for just $1. [Click here to see the details and decide if this is right for you.]( Subscribe To My Podcast [The James Altucher Show]( Add james@jamesaltucher.com to your address book: [Whitelist Us]( [The James Altucher Website]( [Subscribe Via Text]( [Subscribe With YouTube]( [Subscribe On Messenger]( [Subscribe With iTunes]( [Connected on LinkedIn]( Join the conversation! Follow me on social media: [Facebook Group]( [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [Pinterest]( [Instagram]( Altucher Confidential is committed to protecting and respecting your privacy. We do not rent or share your email address. By submitting your email address, you consent to Choose Yourself Media delivering daily email issues and advertisements. To end your Altucher Confidential e-mail subscription and associated external offers sent from Altucher Confidential, feel free to [click here](. Please read our [Privacy Statement](. For any further comments or concerns please [contact us here.]( If you are you having trouble receiving your Altucher Confidential subscription, you can ensure its arrival in your mailbox [by whitelisting Altucher Confidential](. © 2019 Choose Yourself Media, LLC. 808 Saint Paul Street, Baltimore MD 21202. Although our employees may answer your general customer service questions, they are not licensed under securities laws to address your particular investment situation. No communication by our employees to you should be deemed as personalized financial advice. We expressly forbid our writers from having a financial interest in any security they personally recommend to our readers. All of our employees and agents must wait 24 hours after on-line publication or 72 hours after the mailing of a printed-only publication prior to following an initial recommendation. Any investments recommended in this letter should be made only after consulting with your investment advisor and only after reviewing the prospectus or financial statements of the company.