7 questions to know if you’re trapped

I meet a lot of people who have convinced themselves that they’re perfectly To view this email as a web page, [click here]() {NAME}, I meet a lot of people who have convinced themselves that they’re perfectly fine with the limitations that their income places on their lives. Some people actually get mad at ME when I ask them to consider how their life might improve if they made more money. [Social media post] And others INSIST that the 30-year mortgage they’re struggling to pay every month is, somehow, an asset. (I just spoke to MSN about this [here]().) [Social media post] [Wrong]() And I get it. It’s really hard to admit when we’re not content with our life or we’ve made a mistake. Because then we have to make a choice: Do something about it, or keep knowingly doing the stuff that’s making us unhappy. There are so many ways to dance around the knowledge that you want more: more money, more free time, more agency over how you spend your time. It’s human to avoid hard facts like this! When we feel powerless, it hurts less if we avoid looking that powerlessness right in the face. Since you’re on this list, I know you’re not afraid of growing, even if it’s uncomfortable. But what about the tricky times when you don’t even realize you’re feeling bad? (A coach and close friend of mine has a folksy saying for this: “It’s hard to read the label when you’re stuck inside the jar.”) So today, I’ve got a few questions for you to help you figure out if you’re truly content — or if you’re secretly trapped inside a life with boundaries you’re not seeing. 7 questions to figure out if you’re trapped Let’s turn this into a game. You start with 7 points. Subtract 1 point for every “Yes.” 1. Do you hesitate (or do mental math) before ordering appetizers, drinks, or dessert? This is one of the most common signs of financial pressure. You put yourself on a “going out budget,” and find yourself scraping up against its ceiling after just a couple dinners out. Before you know it, you’re nickel-and-diming fried pickles and secretly hoping your friend will pick up tonight’s tab. Cue the resentment, the self-righteousness, and the sudden splurges that you have to “make up for” later. Now, food is one of my [Money Dials](), so I have a stronger opinion here than other people might… but I never worry about how much a dish costs. If I see it on the menu and I want to try it, I’ll order it. I might only take one bite! Still worth it. [Ramit eating pizza] Best carb crash at Sam’s Restaurant in Brooklyn 2. Do you check your bank balance daily? Not because you’re worried about going completely broke or spending into the negative (you’ve got some savings). You check because you see your self-worth reflected in the numbers in your account. When your bank balance is “high” (whatever that means to you), you feel safe. In control. Virtuous, even. But when it’s low, you start to feel nervous or overwhelmed. Even ashamed. And you start asking: How am I going to get back in control? 3. When your alarm goes off in the morning, are you flooded with anxiety? Follow-up question: Do you have to use an alarm to wake up before you actually want to? Whether you think of this phenomenon as [Morning Dread](), the [Sunday Scaries](), or just the usual surge of Garbage Feelings, getting walloped by your nervous system mid-REM cycle is no way to wake up. If returning to the waking world just makes you want to go back to sleep, you’ve got a big problem. [Breakdown incoming in 3...2...1...] Believe it or not, some people feel GOOD about work. 4. Did you leave your work phone, Slack, or email inbox on or open during your last vacation? (And if you did — did the stress of being on call ruin the vacation?) Tell me if this sounds familiar: You put in your hours at the office week after week, and plan exciting vacations to exotic places to “finally relax.” But then as the days count down to your PTO, you paradoxically feel MORE stressed, because you know you won’t be able to truly unplug. My opinion? If you can’t toss up a carefree OOO message without spending your whole trip worrying about the mountain of work waiting for you, you’re more trapped than you think. 5. Do you resent people who have “more” than you? Take a second to open Instagram (I’ll wait). Spend 30 seconds scrolling, then come back. How do you feel? While [social media is designed to keep us wanting]() — and we’re never really sure what’s going on behind the scenes of someone’s life — instinctively reacting with bitterness or jealousy to your friends’ happiness and achievement is a decent sign that you’re feeling unfulfilled. What exactly do your friends (or the people you hate-follow) have that you want? More money? More flexibility? The ability to spend their time doing something that excites and motivates them? You can use these feelings as signposts, guiding you toward what you want in your own life. 6. Do you wish you could be working on something you love, instead of working just for the paycheck? If you said no, you might just be [really happy in your job]() (and that’s amazing). But in my recent reader poll, 90% of you said you wanted to start your own business. 1% said you don’t know. (Which means “I secretly DO want to start a business, but I’m scared.”) [Graph] Even though 91% is an incredibly high number, I’m not surprised. Most people long to have more control over their work, their schedule, and their income. (Are you in the “I don’t know” camp? Hit reply and tell me why.) 7. When you think about spending the next 5 years doing what you’re currently doing … are you tempted to leave it all behind and flee to the forest, a van, a Tibetan monastery??I know this is a tough question to answer, since we’re famously [bad at forecasting what will make us happy.]()Think of it this way: You may not know what exactly will make you happy, but you’re probably pretty good at knowing what’ll make you unhappy. If you really sit and think about your daily routine, and imagine yourself doing it 5 or 10 years from now… how do you feel? Pencils down How many points did you end up with? If you’re still at 6-7 points, then you’re doing great. There’s no sense that something is wrong or broken. You’re genuinely happy with what you’re doing. Love that for you. [Ramit clapping] Carefully clapping so I don’t hit my mic If you’re at 4-5 points, well… there’s room for improvement, right? And if you ended the quiz with 1-3 points, first, I want to thank you for owning up to some seriously uncomfortable feelings. You know what I’m going to ask next. What are you going to change to get back to 7? And look, {NAME}. My goal with this email isn’t to make you feel hopeless. It’s to help you honestly evaluate your life as it is right now, so you know how it stacks up against what you want. That’s the first step toward GETTING what you want. [Signature] P.S. I’m doing a free live class soon, all about how 42,000+ people have improved their scores on this quiz. Look out for more info and the session sign-up link later this week. You may be new to IWT. Here's all the stuff we offer [Programs]() [Podcast]() [Netflix show]() [Books]() [Check out our website for more]() Follow Ramit [ig]() [fb]() [tw]() [yt]() [pc]() Was this forwarded to you? Sign up [here](). This email was sent to [{EMAIL}](). 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