How to give a great compliment

What makes a good compliment? The kind of compliment that makes you and the To view this email as a web page, [click here]() How to give a great compliment What makes a good compliment? The kind of compliment that makes you and the recipient feel good? The kind of compliment that [the most successful people]() know how — and why — to give? I once made a conscious effort to compliment a colleague. I told her, “I’ve worked with a lot of people in my career and you are one of the best people I’ve ever met who blends the creative side AND you answer your emails within 10 minutes every single time I send them.” Two things about that compliment. First, I meant it. Second, it’s something that you would know about her only if you had really worked with her. For people like her who are both creative AND logistically minded, they are very proud of it. But no one really talks about it. Those people also tend to be senior-level, so they don’t get those kinds of compliments regularly. I tried to be intentional with that compliment because I meant it. It’s undoubtedly and undeniably about her. You can’t say that about almost anyone else. It’s very personal, almost like I hand-knit her a sweater. You know what else was great about that compliment? It also made ME happy. One of the most powerful ways you can make yourself happier is to give a compliment to another person. Not just a nice, throwaway comment. I'm talking about a super-specific, meaningful compliment. “Nice” compliment: “You look great!” GREAT compliment: “Wow {NAME}, you look amazing. One thing I really admire about you is how you always look so put together. I try to do that so I know how much work it really is. You really do an amazing job.” The compliment could be about their work, how good of a party they threw … whatever. Just imagine how they would feel. And one more thing — imagine how happy YOU would be by giving that kind of a compliment! This is super counterintuitive to how most of us think. So many of my students are obsessed with their own problems. They’re constantly looking inside their own head. - “Oh I have a fear of failure.” - “I’m a perfectionist.” - “I I I.” But we’re all ignoring a tried-and-true solution that’s staring us in the face. Making someone else happy is going to make us happy. Totally different from the normal things we do to be happy. The usual answers for a quick boost of happiness: Watch a movie. Eat ice cream. Meditate. All of those are “me focused.” Hey, if you want to do them … awesome. I love movies. But giving someone a compliment is “you focused.” It’s focused on someone else, and that’s why it’s fundamentally different. That happiness lasts for them and for you. Once I saw how powerful this was, I actually started trying to give people more compliments. It didn’t come naturally to me, but I’ve been around a number of very successful people and I’ve observed them. And they are just so good. It seems like they are naturals at just making other people around them feel good. So here are two little tricks I discovered for giving great compliments that other people love, and they will make you feel great too. First, focus on the little things. Again, very counterintuitive. When I started giving compliments, I would focus on big things that everybody knows. “Wow. Nice suit. I like it” or “Congratulations on your promotion!” But I slowly realized that the most socially adept people can turn even the smallest things into a compliment. For example, a friend comes over. You make them dinner, and they say, “Wow I really love how you seared this steak. It’s perfect.” A lot of people think that bigger compliments mean bigger impact, but it’s actually small compliments that stand out. It’s like relationships. Real love isn’t just getting a big expensive gift once a year on your birthday or Valentine’s Day or New Year’s. Real love is doing little things every day to show that you care. Could be cooking breakfast, doing laundry, writing a small note. Being there at the door when they come home from work, or whatever it is for you. Second, tell people the kind of person that they are. This is another counterintuitive approach. For example, “You’re the kind of person who can talk to anybody” or “You’re the kind of person who always stays positive. It’s amazing.” We love to be told the kind of person we are. It’s the same reason that we read horoscopes and take Myers-Briggs personality tests. Every single person loves to learn about themselves. Use these techniques! They are extremely powerful, and you’re using them to genuinely make other people feel great. The incidental benefit that you will see is that you’ll be happy when you make others happy. It’s not fake. It’s actually truly authentic. Instead of sitting around like most people and asking “How do I make myself happy? What am I going to pull out of my freezer to feel good for the next ten minutes?” — you’re asking a totally different question. “How can I make someone else happy by giving them a genuine, authentic compliment?” I have a simple assignment for you today: Give someone a compliment. - When you get your morning cappuccino, tell the barista, “This steamed milk is perfect.” - When you have a meeting with a colleague, tell them you love their shirt. If it’s appropriate, ask them where they got it. - When you see a friend later at the gym, tell them (if this is true), “You know I really admire you. You’re the kind of person who never misses a workout.” Try it out today, and then reply to this email and tell me what happened. How to model what successful people do Giving compliments is an easy way to make yourself happier. If you’re ready for more — to achieve higher levels of happiness and success — [check out my Mental Mastery program](). It’s about mastering and harnessing your mental powers to transform your life in the way YOU want. Here's a sneak peek at what's included ([full details here]()): [Mental Mastery] Join Mental Mastery today and get your "secret playbook" to improve your confidence, develop your focus, control your motivation, and engineer an optimistic outlook. [Click here to learn more about Mental Mastery]() I’ll show you how to integrate these principles into your life. You’ll get a specific call to action every step of the way. Why people get MAD when I tell them they can’t afford something “Can I afford it?” seems like a simple yes-or-no question. But it’s not. I've talked to people who are about to buy something like a $1,400 handbag (or a $75k truck). They want me to look at their finances and tell them what I think. When I look and then say, “You can’t afford it,” they get MAD. They believe they can afford it. Often they don’t take into account their debt — and whether it’s credit card debt, student loan debt, or a mortgage. And it can get even more complicated. People create their own internal rules of what they can afford. For example, I have a [money rule]() that I want enough money in my savings to cover a year’s worth of expenses. If I don’t have that, then I can’t afford a vacation. Some people just look at the price of a restaurant or a theme park and say, “We can’t afford that.” A lot of times, it’s based on what something cost 25 years ago. Sometimes it’s based on how much they have in their checking account. The point is, whether you can afford something can be as much about your feelings as it is your actual numbers. That’s the initial topic in this week’s episode of the I Will Teach You To Be Rich podcast. Sarah and Andrew disagree about whether they can afford $800 for a flight to Hawaii … and they’ve had this conversation several times before. Sarah is in her late 20s, makes $85k/year, and has very little debt. Andrew is in his early 30s, makes $75k/year, but has $65k in debt. Sarah wants to spend money, especially on travel. But Andrew always says no. On the surface, their numbers are pretty good. I can see a clear path forward. It’s a simple fix and won’t take long — in fact, I originally wondered why they wanted to be on the podcast. But as we got further into the discussion, it became clear that Andrew’s issues with money and affordability go much, much deeper. I think he understands the issues, but he doesn’t see a way out. Can we make a breakthrough? [Click here]() to listen to my conversation with Andrew and Sarah. New episodes of the podcast are released Tuesday mornings. Subscribe on [Apple](), [Spotify](), or wherever you get your podcasts. [Podcast review]   [Signature] WHAT TO DO NEXT LISTEN: [Click here]() to listen to my conversation with Andrew and Sarah on the I Will Teach You To Be Rich podcast. 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When I ask them how they’d describe their lives, they instantly say the same word: “Stuck.” Listen in to hear real money conversations from behind closed doors today. [Apple Podcasts] [Apple]() [Spotify]() [Google]() [IWT]() Follow Ramit: [insta]() [Twitter]() [twitter]() [youtube]() [Linkedin]() Was this forwarded to you? [Sign up here.]() This email was sent to {EMAIL}. If you no longer wish to receive these emails you may [unsubscribe]( at any time. 548 Market St #89946 San Francisco, CA 94104-5401