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20 “rules” about social skills that took me a decade to learn

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iwillteachyoutoberich.com

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ramit.sethi@iwillteachyoutoberich.com

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Wed, Jan 19, 2022 06:26 PM

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20 counterintuitive insights about social skills To view this email as a web page, 20 rules about so

20 counterintuitive insights about social skills To view this email as a web page, [click here]() 20 rules about social skills that took me a decade to learn As someone who writes in-depth blog posts and emails giving away 98% of my best actionable strategies and tactics for FREE, I really hate listicles. Let’s get real. Nobody reads “10 ways to save more money” and then goes out and adds an extra $10,000 to their savings account. That’s why I always say to go for [Big Wins]() — the one or two things that can really move the needle for you. But when it comes to social skills, there are so many nuances. The smallest things can have a major impact on how people perceive you. I can’t possibly cover everything without writing an entire 3-volume collection. So in rare form, here’s a listicle from me: 20 counterintuitive insights about social skills. - Small talk is awesome. It’s not a waste of time. It's the early part of a dance where you feel each other out, get to know each other when the stakes are low, and establish a common bond. Don’t skip it. - What do you really want? If you don’t know that, you can’t communicate it. - It's OK to say no. You can do it politely, you don't have to be mean, but you decide what you want to do. Use this: “I really appreciate the offer, but I’m going to have to pass. I’m forcing myself to stay focused on X. Again, I’m flattered, and thank you for the offer.” - You have communication patterns from childhood that you don’t even know about. Ask a good friend, “What are my verbal tics?” Listen and thank them. This is really hard. It’s also one of the best ways to improve. - Dream teacher: Pick someone you admire, study their social skills, and try to apply one thing. Is that weird? Maybe. What’s weirder: Never trying to improve your social skills at all. - How come everyone says, “I’m socially awkward” or “I have social anxiety” these days? Unless you have a diagnosed condition, please shut up. You can improve your social skills and it will change your life. And if you are diagnosed, you can still improve. - Being good at social skills means being open about what the other person wants. Being masterful means sometimes not even having to ask. - Social skills are like BO. If you even suspect yours are bad … they're terrible. If you’ve never thought about it before … well, everyone could use a little help. - Sometimes, the best thing you can do is STHU. Shut The Heck Up. - If they dish it out, ain’t nothing wrong with dishing it back. - People love learning patterns about themselves that they didn’t know. Love, love, love it. This is why astrology is so popular. - Most people either dominate a conversation by talking 80% of the time, or delegate responsibility by only talking 20%. Which one are you? - Be interested. People like to talk about themselves. If you want to be perceived as a social genius, just ask people questions about themselves. - SPEAK UP IN LOUD LOCATIONS. - Oh, you’re shy and life is hard? Boohoo. I have hairy toes and slightly crooked teeth. You can improve your social skills. - Everyone communicates differently. Acknowledge it, learn it, master it. - Don't be so serious all the time. If you’re at a bar talking about philosophy and the meaning of life and our existential risk from climate change … give it a rest. Sometimes people just want to have a drink and chill. - You can find something interesting about anyone. But some people are just boring. - Elite-level social skill: Making fun of yourself with just the right amount of charm. And number 20... You should join [How to Talk to Anybody]() and watch your social skills massively improve in about 7 days. It’s fun, it’s eye-opening, and the people around you will notice an amazing difference in a week. “How do we create our Rich Life when we don’t trust and respect each other?” I walked into this week’s I Will Teach You To Be Rich podcast episode thinking, "Cool, we get to talk about taxes. Maybe I'll get to riff a little bit on marginal tax rates and have some fun." Dan is a DJ, so has a unique income, but he also filed an extension for his taxes this year. Mira is worried by this — it makes her feel that Dan is not responsible. But after we discussed this initial issue, this conversation went in a very different direction than I thought it would. Deep down, most of us are insecure about our financial knowledge. In this episode, we see how this plays out when Dan talks about his cooking and when he answers (or doesn’t answer) Mira’s questions about money. Dan and Mira have very different views on money. It is possible to have a thriving relationship with someone even if they see money totally differently than you, but you do need to do at least three things differently. Listen in as I explain these three things and as I help Dan and Mira see through the symptoms — frustrations over when to file taxes, family planning, and commentary on cooking — into the deeper root causes of their disagreements. [Click here]() to listen to my conversation with Dan and Mira on the latest episode of the I Will Teach You To Be Rich podcast. New episodes are released Tuesday mornings. Subscribe on [Apple](), [Spotify](), or anywhere you get your podcasts. “My confidence skyrocketed” I wanted to share successes from students of my business program Earnable. As you read these stories, imagine what 2022 could look like if you built your own online business. Will you earn more? Take more vacation? Feel a sense of accomplishment? "When I first listened to Ramit's 'Rich Life' podcast with Tim Ferriss, I was immediately intrigued. No one talks about spending hard-earned money except Ramit. I followed him on IG and quickly learned about his Earnable program. Initially, I thought to myself, 'Are you really about to spend $2,000 to help you get your freelance business off the ground?' It seemed a bit ridiculous if I'm being honest. But within the first week of the program, I understood the value. When I wrote up my offer and created a website version of my offer (a sales page), it clicked: I am damn talented and have a skill people will pay for. My confidence skyrocketed. I got a new freelance client almost immediately, an old client asked to start working together again (and we are!) and I have had quite a few inquiries. I started a blog and a newsletter, both of which are small but shockingly successful. My blog has already had two top stories and the number of reads and subscribers jumps every week (okay, enough bragging). All of this made me realize that I'm not only good at what I do, but I'm marketable too. And it started with Earnable. I never had the confidence to charge what I thought my skills were worth. I never had the confidence to share my work publicly on a blog. I never had the confidence or know-how to start an email newsletter... until Earnable." –Sheena Fronk [Sheena Fronk] * * * "I finally decided to buy the Earnable program in January and it immediately got me on the right track. While doing market research, I realized my business idea was not quite right, but that research led me to another idea. This new business combines my love of cooking, community-building, and event planning all together into one concept. Since I started hosting these social cooking class events, I’ve sold out every one (I’ve had 3 so far) and people LOVE them. I’ve had a few repeat customers, and those folks are bringing their friends. One of those repeat customers told me she was jealous that she hadn’t thought of this idea herself!" –Emma Mitchell [Emma] * * * “After completing the materials to find my perfect customer and learning more about the anatomy of a winner offer, I had a better idea of who to speak to and what to say… The result was that two free clients became two paying clients… We asked them to pay a reduced rate of $20 per session and for a testimonial, and they said yes. There was not even a hint of rejection, there was enthusiasm when they agreed, and they paid that day!” –Philip Lawrence [Philip Lawrence] I always tell students this: You don’t have to be 100% ready. You don't have to be perfect. You don't even have to be sure (Earnable comes with a 60-day, 100% money-back guarantee). Earnable has all the exact strategies, frameworks, hands-on tactics, real-world examples, mindsets, done-for-you templates, word-for-word scripts, and hard-won breakthroughs to start and grow your own business. Plus, an online community is included. It’s easy to dream about building a business … about earning more … about helping people … about taking more vacation. The key is DOING something about it. To learn more about Earnable, [click here](). [Signature] WHAT TO DO NEXT JOIN TODAY: To massively improve your social skills in 7 days, check out [How to Talk to Anybody](). To learn more about my business program Earnable, [click here](). [SIGN UP]() LISTEN: [Click here]() to listen to my conversation with Dan and Mira on the latest episode of the I Will Teach You To Be Rich podcast. [SIGN UP]() How did you feel about today’s email? [Hated it]() [It Was Fine]() [Loved It]() [insta]() [facebook]() [twitter]() [youtube]() [Linkedin]() [Podcast]() This email was sent to {EMAIL}. If you no longer wish to receive these emails you may [unsubscribe]( at any time. 548 Market St #89946 San Francisco, CA 94104-5401

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