Forget Covid tests - modern travel is all about the stress test

Simon Calder’s Travel Week [View in browser]( [The Independent]( [Travel] Simon Calder’s Travel Week [Simon Calder]( Written by Simon Calder | September 03, 2021 Multiple hurdles and a race to the finish line, complete with disqualification: no, not the Paralympic drama in Tokyo, but the story of the last flight out of Montenegro before Monday's 4am [red list]( deadline. Eighty-four hours earlier, the transport secretary had announced that high Covid rates in the Balkan republic meant anyone who arrived in the UK after that pre-dawn limit must pay around £2,000 for 11 nights in hotel quarantine. Grant Shapps fired the starting gun in the now-familiar scramble for seats on rearranged flights: easyJet “pre-poned” a departure from Tivat in Montenegro to Gatwick from Monday to Sunday afternoon, with seats selling for £265. Unfortunately, Murphy's Law was about to take effect. A small technical fault in the aircraft triggered [an unhappy sequence of events](. With no certified engineer to fix it, the plane was going nowhere. While easyJet readied another aircraft in Manchester to fly out and rescue the passengers, it became clear that Tivat airport was closing for the night. Which way now? Joanna Lonergan's photo of confused easyJet passengers leaving Tivat airport in Montenegro Switching to the Montenegrin capital, Podgorica, was impossible as easyJet has never flown there before. So the only possibility was Dubrovnik. The good news: the airport is just 26 miles away as the Airbus flies (if only it could). The bad news: barring the way between the two is an international border. While all the passengers had permission to enter the UK, some of them were not documented to enter the European Union. They warned ground staff they would be turned away at the frontier, but were instructed to board the coaches to Croatia anyway. Predictably, [26 people were turned away by border guards]( and bussed back to Tivat – including Hakan Baybaş and his family, who are now “laundering” their red list status in neighbouring Albania for 10 days before trying again. Not wanted: Hakan Baybaş, one of the easyJet passengers left behind at the Croatian frontier The remaining 155 continued to Dubrovnik airport. By the time everyone was on board and the aircraft was lining up to take off, it was 1.45am in the UK. With a “block time” (the time from the departure gate to the arrival gate) for easyJet’s daily flights from Dubrovnik to London set at 2 hours 50 minutes, the pilots faced something of a problem. But with no other aircraft competing for airspace, the plane reached speeds of 550mph and touched down at Gatwick with just two minutes remaining. The captain, by now a hero, described the journey as “the most stressful three hours of my life”. My [10-step guide to leaving the country]( – and coming back – deals with tests of the lateral flow and PCR varieties. But not with the stress tests that result from the UK's uniquely bizarre international travel rules. Had the pilots flown normally and taken 20 minutes longer, the risk they presented would be no different. But the government would insist that all 155 must endure the expense and discomfort of hotel quarantine. A system that triggers such extreme events in the name of public health is not fit for purpose. Destination of the week: the Torquay Trail Devon heaven: On the South West Coast Path Peru, home to the Inca Trail, has been on the UK's red list for six months (though currently it has just one-40th of the Covid cases). While the South West Coast Path may not be quite as majestic as the ancient road to Machu Picchu, it is easier to reach, accessible for short hikes and offers a fair amount of ups and downs. This week I discovered that the three-hour stretch from the marina in Torquay to Oddicombe Beach takes you around the beautiful raw edge of south Devon, with a range of terrain, from open downs to shady woodland, and plenty of cliff-top views. At the end, you can take tea at the Three Degrees West or a dip in the Channel, and then avail of the Babbacombe Cliff Railway to be hoisted back to real life. Deals of the week: Paris for less and ScotRail in 1st - Eurostar is soldiering on between London and Paris, with five trains a day and excellent value on rail plus hotel packages. Travelling out from St Pancras International to Gare du Nord on the afternoon of Friday 24 September, returning on Sunday afternoon, £213 per person buys a standard class ticket plus two nights at the three-star Louis Blanc Hotel, about 15 minutes' walk from the arrival station. - the end of September, travellers on ScotRail's inter-city services – linking Edinburgh, Glasgow, Stirling, Perth, Dundee, Aberdeen and Inverness – can upgrade to first class for a flat £3. No need (or option) to book in advance – pay on board. Question of the week: transit at red list airports? Question: Can I transfer in a "red list" country without incurring hotel quarantine if I don't leave the airport and just change from one plane to another? Answer: Setting foot in a red list country always triggers hotel quarantine on arrival in the UK. This is especially relevant for travellers hoping to fly on Turkish Airlines via its hub for Istanbul. You might be flying in from a green list country such as Taiwan, with just a couple of hours in transit, but you will still face 11 nights in hotel quarantine at a cost of £2,285. Allowing “safe transit” at key hubs was mooted in the first Global Travel Taskforce report last November, but despite a ministerial assertion that the government was "working at pace" on the proposal, nothing has happened. 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