A queen’s advice on self-love

Mo Heart of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” on the beauty of intersectionality [Healthline]( [Wellness Wire]( IN a nutshell When you look in the mirror, how do you feel? If you’re unhappy with who’s looking back at you, it’s not entirely your fault. The way beauty standards are represented in the media doesn’t exactly empower people to build a healthy self-image, especially those in marginalized or underrepresented communities. No matter how you feel about yourself, today’s guest and star of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” [Mo Heart]( wants you to know it’s absolutely possible to strengthen your self-esteem. Scroll down to read the queen’s words of wisdom on the beauty of intersectionality and how to push back against toxic messages around self-image. Today, we’re also talking about: • [100 inspiring affirmation cards]( • [shady ways wellness companies target women]( (and how to fight back) • [more health stories you need]( Be well, Morgan Mandriota Newsletter Editor, Healthline Written by Morgan Mandriota January 13, 2023 • 7 min read [Mo Heart]( is an internationally known drag queen who sashayed to fame on “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” She’s also a recording artist and the owner of the beauty brand [MoBeauty](. Despite the glitz and glamor of all her success and the visibility it brings, she says it can be hard to push back against entrenched conventional beauty norms. Following a recent Healthline panel on [The Beauty of Intersectionality](, Heart sat down with us to talk about how sometimes, when faced with a lack of representation, you have to “become your own role model.” Check out our favorite quotes from [our chat]( below. *This interview has been edited for length and clarity. Q: How can representation (or lack thereof) affect how someone sees themselves? A: Most people wake up in the morning, look at their phones, and they’re already seeing images on Instagram and Twitter of what beauty is “supposed” to be, whether through the influencer or the brand. Then, you look at your face, you leave the house, you go to work, and you keep seeing ads, ads, ads. You’re just surrounded. I’d go to the store, and my body didn’t look like that, my hair didn’t look like that, my skin wasn’t like that. A lot of these things begin to weigh you down. Also, there was the fact I was queer, and that was not being celebrated. Then I [put on weight]( and had to deal with the way plus-size people are viewed in today’s society. It was a lot on my feelings. It’s nearly impossible not to start comparing yourself to these images and think, “This is what is wanted, this is what is desired, because if it wasn’t, then you would see the opposite.” My mother was a beautiful dark-skinned woman, and even today, dark-skinned women are not celebrated; they are celebrated for being so dark but not for being beautiful. Q: Has the media really become more inclusive? A: In the area of [athleisure](, you’ll see more curvy girls who aren’t just relegated to the plus-size section of the store. Brands are making an attempt. But for many, it’s just surface level. Many of today’s brands actively say, “We need a Black, we need a [femme](, we need a trans, we need to make sure that we hit our boxes and a target.” While those boxes are being checkmarked, the mainstream market these companies are trying to engage is still, in many ways, the white, middle-class, American mainstream. [Greg Grunberg] Q: If all these toxic images are constantly around us, how do we push back against their negative influence? A: When it comes to protecting your mental health, you have to see the vision and see where you want to end up. I’m seeing myself whole, happy, loved, complete, beautiful, desired, and affirmed — all of these things. We live in a FOMO culture, and I think it can help to step back and take a break, even if it’s just 2 hours [away from social media](. Do something productive and constructive. Something that fills you instead of drains you or sucks your time away. Q: How can self-affirmation help combat toxic messaging and boost self-esteem? A: I think a lot of us in our 30s are finally starting to heal and be OK with who we are, in understanding, “You know what? I might not be a 10 out of 10 in that group, but in this group, I might be a 25!” I had to learn [how to love and affirm myself](. That’s when I started to lose weight and my skin started to clear up. That’s when I took care of myself. I would say it starts with you, and it finishes with you. Q: What advice or words of support do you wish you could give to your younger self? A: When thinking back on where I am now and how far I’ve come in my self-acceptance journey, I’d love to speak to the 12-year-old and 25-year-old versions of myself and say, “You don’t have to go through the same bullshit I went through.” You don’t tear yourself down. You go, “You are beautiful, you are great, you are so smart, you are so strong, you are resilient.” [Self-affirming statements]( like these can go a long way toward protecting one’s mental health from society’s limited view of beauty. great finds Editor faves with health perks You know those great finds you just *have* to tell your friends about? That’s how we feel about the products we recommend here. Every pick has been [vetted by our editorial team](, and we genuinely think it’ll make your life better. [100 Affirmation Cards]( [100 Affirmation Cards]( Want to begin the journey to higher self-esteem but don’t know where to start? Try this pack of 100 affirmation cards for people of all genders. Each card features an empowering statement or mantra that you can say to yourself or tape to your bathroom mirror. For example, “I am unaffected by the judgment of others” or “I am loved. I am enough.” The back of every card has a thought-provoking question, too, like, “How can I stop worrying about what people think?” By regularly reading the positive statements and answering the self-reflection questions, you can learn more about your [sense of self]( and start to build self-confidence. [Shop now]( [Leave our money and insecurities alone, wellness brands]( Think Twice [Leave our money and insecurities alone, wellness brands]( It’d be nice to think that most brands market to consumers with good intentions, but, unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Sometimes, they use our goals, dreams, and insecurities against us for the sake of profit. This is especially true in the wild, wild world of health and wellness, an industry that was valued at [$4.9 trillion]( in 2022. According to [Rina Raphael](, author of “[The Gospel of Wellness](,” here are a couple of shady ways that wellness companies target women: • Guilting or worrying mothers into feeding their babies and children [organic food](, despite minimal evidence supporting superior health benefits. • Pushing under-researched, potentially harmful natural remedies as “alternative treatments” to people who distrust Western medicine. (This includes women who have experienced medically gaslighting, something we talked about on [Dec. 12](.) • Leading consumers to believe they’ll look or act like a celebrity if they buy a certain product or service. (Looking at you, Gwyneth.) Frustrated? Us, too. But don’t let this news turn you into a total skeptic. When you’re armed with knowledge, you can avoid their schemes more easily. Your best defense: Doing your research. Need advice on how to fight misinformation and find medically accurate information? Refer to the tips we scored from “[The Unbiased Science Podcast](” co-hosts in our Q&A on Dec. 9 [here](. Tell us: Have you ever fallen for a marketing scheme or purchased a product that was hyped up to be more effective than it really was? We’d love to hear about it. Email us at wellnesswire@healthline.com to share your story. (Please note that we may use your name and response in an upcoming newsletter!) health stories you need What we’re reading next [] [10 anti-diet experts unpack body neutrality.]( When we talk about bodies, health, and nutrition, you may feel stuck between forced positivity or shame. Here’s what experts have to say about it. [Signs you may have insomnia.]( If you stare at the ceiling until 4 a.m., you might be living with this sleep disorder. Check this list of signs to see if any of them resonate. [Hydration may be a key to healthy aging.]( All the more reason to do whatever you gotta do to drink more water and meet your daily hydration goals. [What’s your 2023 wellness vibe?]( Apparently, mine is “Woo Woo Wellness Warrior.” Take this quiz to find out yours. [Can you have a stroke and not know it?]( Yes, silent cerebral infarctions or ministrokes do happen sometimes. Learn the signs of silent strokes plus prevention tips. Thanks for reading! Your homework for the weekend is to look in the mirror and say, “I love you.” Even if it feels weird, you deserve to hear it and one day believe it. Did you enjoy this interview? Until next time, [healthline]( Take care of yourself, and we’ll see you again soon! [Telegram] This edition was powered by unfiltered selfies and embracing authenticity. [fb]( [tiktok]( [insta]( [View in browser]( Did a friend send you this email? 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