Don’t Get Along With Your Mother-in-Law? You’re Not Alone.

The Many Dangers of Leaning on Your Child For Emotional Support [Fatherly](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2F%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/MZTsvhKp8c_KVFLzCAGBCEmGGgs=271) Getting along with family can be a challenge. In-laws have a notorious reputation for a reason. Kids throw tantrums and can seem immune to nearly any type of discipline or parenting style you try. And with how difficult it can be to solve arguments with your spouse, it’s no wonder that about 40% of marriages end in divorce. The conflicts in all of these relationships can have real effects on both your health and wellbeing and that of your kids, so it’s important to manage them correctly. Each type of relationship requires different approaches to keep the peace. And, yes, it will probably take more than a bit of compromise. SCIENCE %2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fhealth-science%2Fscience-dont-get-along-with-mother-in-law%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/zQB3pJLEdO6_cxxIw6WfMGVNH90=271 [Don’t Get Along With Your Mother-in-Law? You’re Not Alone.](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fhealth-science%2Fscience-dont-get-along-with-mother-in-law%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/2/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/P4fAU4LYLD_5TTWirjTwo4FcfpQ=271) [But it's crucial to get past your in-law issues, for the sake of your kids.](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fhealth-science%2Fscience-dont-get-along-with-mother-in-law%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/3/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/5WNcs-KNpZKrsf2VsxEAlWUipek=271) [READ THE STORY](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fhealth-science%2Fscience-dont-get-along-with-mother-in-law%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/4/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/FWiI_7a0B_1fciWn3XBRWskW0L4=271) TIPS AND TRICKS Sometimes in-laws can be overbearing, but you have to get along with them anyway. This is how. 1. Communicate with your spouse:Make sure you and your partner know what the other is feeling at all times when it comes to relationships with mom and dad. 2. Keep your cool: Losing your temper will only create bigger problems. Always be respectful to your in-laws, even when expressing that you dislike something they do. 3. Create boundaries: It’s key to make expectations clear up front, including frequency and the length of visits. 4. Don’t forget who your in-laws are: When all is said and done, your in-laws are your children’s grandparents. It’s important to find a way to have them be a part of your lives while still managing to hold on to yours. 5. Create family rituals: Create some kind of a regular appointment where your family can get together with your in-laws and catch up, but don’t make it so frequent that you feel smothered. Read more [here](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fadvice-overbearing-in-laws-setting-boundaries%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/MTZtX6BTAydusX13zdcy9amkNrM=271). FURTHER READING - [6 Well-Meaning Phrases to Avoid Saying to Your Mother-in-Law](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fphrases-to-avoid-saying-mother-in-law%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/bDqtW9ouYjAImA1NTjE8yuYzxtE=271) - ​​​​​[6 Signs of Toxic In-Laws — And How to Combat Their Behavior](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Ftoxic-in-laws-signs-help%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/L0RV7BOKNP_rYTndnJjgMwxS-LE=271) - [What I Wish My Son-in-Law Would Do Less, According to 10 Mothers-in-Law](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fwhat-i-wish-my-son-in-law-would-do-less-mothers-in-law%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/HT85lu-zlDdFH2pO_NjmybcSHnU=271) HEALTH %2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fhealth%2Fsiblings-how-having-a-brother-sister-changes-kids%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/QdXvg31uIEqnQylH0nKfjiHYDV8=271 [Brother, Sister, Rival, Friend: The Longstanding Effects Of Sibling Relationships](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fhealth%2Fsiblings-how-having-a-brother-sister-changes-kids%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/2/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/NHgG7LswhRYkIIYOOEBotgKg5h8=271) New research is bringing an unexpected truth to light: [Siblings may have as powerful an effect on one another's lives as parents do.](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fhealth%2Fsiblings-how-having-a-brother-sister-changes-kids%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/3/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/imrcIAZh_fPLkgmOM-Fk5X4ZQ94=271) [READ THE STORY](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fhealth%2Fsiblings-how-having-a-brother-sister-changes-kids%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/4/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/wm3cSWQRCQt5BOZe3WUiXuVjek0=271) PARENTING %2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fparentification-parents-relying-kids-for-emotional-support%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/V8ZSykC1yUIxyDl8nbM85Vi69o0=271 [The Many Dangers of Leaning on Your Child For Emotional Support](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fparentification-parents-relying-kids-for-emotional-support%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/2/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/bdgZegVHt09U9WM68qUeo4WVKkU=271) Children are naturally empathetic, so it’s easy for parents to cross the line unintentionally into “parentification”: [placing children in situations where they feel more like parents than children.](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fparentification-parents-relying-kids-for-emotional-support%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/3/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/wvOP9nMlUEfb8R12B9mWru36Zwo=271) [READ THE STORY](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fparentification-parents-relying-kids-for-emotional-support%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/4/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/Kwxys5M_SkVvwvV3QbRn9FZq3Rg=271) TIPS AND TRICKS Watch Your Words Although it might not strike a lot of parents as problematic behavior, it’s not okay to tell your kid, “I had a [stressful day at work](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Frelationships%2Fstop-bringing-work-stress-home-to-family%2F%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/TXsgzxMRZdqdH73AkzhR0H_vvZA=271) and need a hug,” says counselor Brent Sweitzer. “That’s more about your needs and not your child’s,” he says. “It interferes with children’s autonomy. They might think, ‘What will happen if I don’t hug? Will my parent stop loving me?’ It’s fine to ask your child to sit on your lap, for example, but it should always be a choice for the child.” FURTHER READING - [5 Personalities That Create High Conflict in Relationships](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fhigh-conflict-relationship-personality-traits-help%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/T7Vqqxsrc5OnnmbLJ1RgI--QspU=271) - ​​​​​[3 Ineffective Parenting Style Habits That Make Kids Avoidant](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Fparenting%2Fineffective-parenting-style%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/EuMqVOTLgJaM2GXQF8698wA7xyQ=271) - [The Clever Parenting Trick That Helps Me Be a Better Dad, According to 9 Men](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fthe-clever-parenting-trick-that-helps-me-be-a-better-dad-according-to-9-men%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/rW2Xhs0-XP6qGZ5jBr53qcJEibE=271) MARRIAGE %2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fwhat-is-an-enmeshed-relationship%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/ca2BZ2y6YcdxN58-kK-QTJLR5Xg=271 [Is Your Relationship Too Close for Your Own Good?](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fwhat-is-an-enmeshed-relationship%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/2/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/Q0gbqcbSe1yb4TpuSWLw4iCVfbQ=271) Closeness is wonderful. But when you're so close that you lose sight of your individual needs and feelings, [boundaries may need to be redrawn.](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fwhat-is-an-enmeshed-relationship%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/3/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/3ywGVjnRwSc63CTVugdONYRP5_M=271) [READ THE STORY](%2F%2Fwww.fatherly.com%2Flove-money%2Fwhat-is-an-enmeshed-relationship%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/4/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/ExS__ihDGQ7kxmvL4hQqwcSfmps=271) You're receiving this email because you signed up to receive communications from BDG Media. If you believe this has been sent to you in error, please safely [unsubscribe](%2F%2Fnewsletters.bdg.com%2Funsub%3Faddress={NAME}%2540gmail.com%26segmentId=fatherlyDaily%26campaignId=01G43G041D-3158%26utm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/_3A6J9S49qoUp4OEot3pfdY6rSU=271). 315 Park Ave. South, New York, NY 10010 Copyright 2022 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. [View in browser](%2F%2Fassets.bdg.com%2Fnewsletters%2F3158.html%3Futm_campaign=30115%26utm_medium=fatherlyDaily%26utm_source=newsletter%26utm_session=c37e7b32-5b18-4c2b-a3ac-adb88aa64d4e/1/0100018107086477-aa571af4-2064-4f86-98bc-3975ab3383da-000000/z1yhYriw0diJby-Gse2zX0wQhhg=271)