11 Healthy Things to Do When You’re Feeling Uncertain

Plus, The One Piece of Marriage Advice Everyone Should Know [Fatherly_Seahorse]( Uncertainty always exists. But lately, it seems so much more present. There are just so many questions about everything from COVID to climate change, the general state of the world and the security of our families. Combine these large scale unknowns with the smaller, more everyday questions that we all must deal with and it’s no stretch to say that a general feeling of uncertainty is the new norm. We humans have a strong desire for predictability and control — or, more aptly, the sense that we are in control. It’s not surprising then that it can be hard for us to handle such looming confusion and uneasiness. But it’s important to find healthy ways to cope so that it doesn’t overwhelm you. SELF [uncertainty]( [How I Deal With Uncertainty, According to 11 Therapists]( This is what the experts [do when uncertainty looms.]( [READ THE STORY]( TIPS AND TRICKS An Exercise to Help With Uncertainty Since anticipation is focused on imagined future events, it’s important to ground yourself in the present moment. One way to do that? Engage your five senses when you’re tempted to worry. Start by taking a few deep breaths and reminding yourself as scary as the future feels, it hasn’t happened yet. Then, choose a calming sensory experience to practice. Smell a calming essential oil or go outside and feel the breeze on your skin. Go for a walk around the block or turn on some music and do a dance party with your kids in the kitchen. Reminding your brain you’re in the present – safe and sound – will force you out of that future-focused feedback loop. FURTHER READING - [That Feeling in the Air? It Might Be Anticipatory Anxiety]( - ​​​​​[12 Ways to Be There For Someone With Anxiety]( - [How Feeling Charts Can Help Anxious Kids]( WE WROTE A BOOK! [fatherhood-what-to-buy]( [Exclusive: Get $5 Off Fatherhood]( Just in time for holiday shopping, newsletter subscribers (that’s you!) can get Fatherhood, the only complete expert-lead guide for dads, at a discount. Get one for your friends, family, and yourself. Promo code is 5FATHERHOOD. [BUY NOW]( RELATIONSHIPS [marriage-advice]( [The One Piece of Marriage Advice Everyone Should Know]( We asked 19 therapists to share their go-to advice for couples. [Here’s what they said.]( [READ THE STORY]( TIPS AND TRICKS Want a Happier Relationship? Be Mindful of Emotional Invalidation What it is: When you tell your spouse how he or she should feel, using such phrases as “It’s not a big deal,” “Stop overreacting” or “You’re being too dramatic,” when they react a certain way. Why It’s a Problem: Even if you mean it harmlessly, this kind of behavior sends the message that your spouse’s feelings are not important. “We emotionally invalidate because it soothes our anxiety and because it’s what we learned from our parents,” says Doug Noll, a lawyer and professional mediator. “However, emotional invalidation kills love, intimacy, and emotional connection. It destroys emotional safety.” How to Prevent it: One tactic? Employ active listening. Hear what your partner is saying and, rather than dismiss it outright, reflect their feelings and show your understanding. [Here are a few more communication mistakes to be mindful of.]( DRINK UP [whiskies-2021-header]( [The Best Whiskies of 2021]( New takes on old favorites. Long-awaited expressions. New surprises. [These are the bottles that blew us away this year.]( [READ THE STORY]( TALK TO US Have a question? Comment? Want to tell us a no-good terrible story? Or a helpful parenting tip? We want to hear from you (and yes, we may publish your response in an article or forthcoming newsletter). Send your thoughts to [hello@fatherly.com](mailto:hello@fatherly.com?subject=Fatherly%20Newsletter%20Feedback). [FATHERLY_LOGO]( [FB]( [IG]( [Twitter]( [View this email in your browser]( 315 Park Ave. South New York, NY 10010 You can [manage your preferences or unsubscribe]( here. Copyright © 2021 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. [Link](