Your Reliance on the Kids Is Messing With Their Heads

Plus, 9 Serious Beautiful, Seriously Remote Family Vacation Spots [Fatherly_Seahorse]( Parents give up so much for their kids that it’s tempting to wonder what exactly you get back. This is a big question, and one we can try to answer fully another day. But one thing you should not expect is emotional comfort, support, or help from your kids. For one, they’re the kids. It’s not for them to parent you (other way around, friend). For another, they probably sweetly will want to help and will find themselves distressed — and potentially subject to long-term emotional harm — to realize that they are not capable of supporting an adult. Because they’re not. So hold onto that hug and kiss and sweet words when you get them. Just don’t expect it. PARENTING [2article1]( [Your Kids Are Not Your Friends]( Children are naturally empathetic, so it’s easy for parents to cross the line unintentionally into “parentification”: placing children in situations where they feel more like parents than children. ​​​​​[This needs to be avoided at all costs.]( [READ THE STORY]( GOOD WORDS “Sleeping between your mom and me in the bed, you had a stuffy nose. I stayed up all night, vigilant, afraid you would stop breathing. And, frankly, cursing your mom for pushing me into this predicament of fatherhood, this incurable disease of the heart, which I never really wanted, because I knew what would happen. You became my pivot foot. Permanently. Everything moves around you.” [Read more insightful words on fatherhood from the great Mike Sager]( as he writes a letter to his son who just moved out and into adulthood. FURTHER READING - [How to Be More Resilient]( - ​​​​​[8 Words and Phrases Parents Should Always Say to Their Kids]( - [What the Science Says About Discipline and Toddlers]( BOOKS [2article3]( [“Because the fact is that the person you are before you have a kid will not be appreciably different than the person you are after you have a kid. And that person is the template your kid will use to learn how to live in the world...”]( [Read the full excerpt from ‘Fatherhood’]( [READ THE STORY]( TRAVEL [2article2]( [9 Serious Beautiful, Seriously Remote Family Vacation Spots]( [Get away — far away — from all of this.]( [READ THE STORY]( TIPS AND TRICKS The best of the hiking season — aka, Fall — is slipping through your fingers. Take advantage! Northeast: Ocean Path in Acadia Acadia National Park, Maine Distance: 3.9 miles roundtrip Best for: Everyone hiking with their own two feet Rating: Easy What better way to keep kid’s mind off of moving their feet for four miles than scrambling up rocks and pointing out the ocean, mountains, wildflowers, and sandy beaches? The Ocean Path is hands down one of the most magical hikes on the east coast — and will get kids excited about discovering new places on their own. Even better, the drive up the Maine coast to get there is gorgeous. Southeast: Billy Goat Trail Potomac, Maryland Distance: 7.8 miles roundtrip Best for: Little ones who want to learn to scramble Rating: Moderate This trail will certainly get everyone’s adrenaline pumping. With views of the Potomac river and plenty of rocks to hop/scramble around on, this trail is good for showing kids that the world is indeed, a jungle gym. This hike can get crowded on sunny weekend afternoons, so aim to hike early in the morning or on a weekday. Northwest: The Trail of Ten Loops Silver Falls State Park, Oregon Distance: 8.7-mile loop Best for: Families with an infant Rating: Easy The Trail of Ten Falls — located just an hour outside of Portland — winds its way through the old-growth forests of Oregon and leads hikers to (as the name suggests) ten awe-inducing waterfalls. The loop is long, but there are no major climbs or technical sections — and there’s plenty of shade and cool mist to keep you moving along a nice, flat, dirt trail. Read here for 8 more of the [best family hikes in America.]( PLAY [2article4]( [The MCU Is Finally Doing a Christmas Special – Just Not the Way You Think]( [READ THE STORY]( TALK TO US Have a question? Comment? Want to tell us a no-good terrible story? Or a helpful parenting tip? We want to hear from you (and yes, we may publish your response in an article or forthcoming newsletter). Send your thoughts to [hello@fatherly.com](mailto:hello@fatherly.com?subject=Fatherly%20Newsletter%20Feedback). [FATHERLY_LOGO]( [FB]( [IG]( [Twitter]( [View this email in your browser]( Some Spider Studios 20 W 22nd St Floor 3 New York, NY 10010-5858 You can [manage your preferences or unsubscribe]( here. Copyright © 2021 Some Spider, All rights reserved. [Link](