The Common Word to Stop Saying to Your Kids

Plus, What to Do If You Absolutely Hate Working from Home [Fatherly_Seahorse]( Children are constantly making requests. Some are easily answered: “Of course you can go play outside!” Others can be immediately dismissed: “No, you absolutely can’t have an alligator for a pet!” But there are some others that can be more tricky to answer; they require more thought because the outcomes are not readily apparent, or fulfilling the request might be inconvenient or be contingent on variables out of a parents control. And that’s when parents reach for the old standby: “maybe.” It’s one of the most used words — and, it turns out, most damaging — in the parental toolbox. RELATIONSHIPS [30article1]( [Why You Should Never Tell Your Kid “Maybe”]( [Uncertainty makes kids anxious, and parents look untrustworthy. Maybe that’s a problem?]( [READ THE STORY]( TIPS AND TRICKS 5 Responses to Say Instead of “Maybe” 1. The Straight Negation: “No. Because …” Make sure to provide reasons that are consistent with family rules and values 2. The Straight Affirmation: “Yes.” But make sure that whatever is being agreed to happens within a reasonable time. Right after the request is best, but if that doesn’t work offer a deadline. 3. The Affirmation, With Strings: “Yes, but …” Whether the contingency is completing or engaging in certain behavior make sure a kid has goals and a clear path to achieving them 4. The Delay Due to Outside Circumstances: “I will make a decision about this when … ” Makes sure delayed decisions connected to needed information have a deadline and it’s clear what needs to be known. 5. The Delay Because You Need More Time: “I will answer after …” Be clear about when an answer can be expected. Make it sooner than later and stick with your timeline. FURTHER READING - [9 Things Girls Need to Hear Their Father Say at Home]( - [7 Seemingly Harmless Phrases to Stop Saying to Your Spouse]( - [8 Affirmations for Kids Parents Should Say More Often]( MENTAL HEALTH [30article2]( [What to Do If You Absolutely Hate Working from Home]( It’s not about doing any one specific thing. [But it might help to bring back elements that once made you happy and find ways to go off script once in a while.]( [READ THE STORY]( TIPS AND TRICKS Two Signs That a Friend or Colleague is Toxic to Your Mental Health 1. The Person Blame-Shifts The first thing to know: Toxic people are self-centered, and that usually becomes obvious in conflicts. For example, Dan Auerbach, director and clinical counselor with Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney, says toxic people commonly blame others for hiccups in relationships that actually aren’t the other person’s fault. So in a toxic friendship, you might find yourself feeling unnecessary shame or guilt, and consequently finding ways to “make it up to” the person out of fear of conflict. For example, say your friend suddenly stops replying to your calls and texts — and when you bring it up, they say you’re too needy. “If this behavior is repeated, it’s likely that person has difficulty with intimacy and turns around on others by blaming those who try to get close to them,” Auerbach says. 2. They’re Somehow Always Right Along the same lines, Megan Harrison, a Tampa-based therapist, says toxic people typically like to be right, even about things they did wrong. “This person will find a way to justify every action and has no guilt or remorse for anything that happens,” she says. That means you might walk away from interactions with a toxic person feeling unheard, misunderstood, and manipulated. [Here are a few more signs that someone is toxic to your mental health.]( ENTERTAINMENT [30article3]( [Wolfboy and the Everything Factory is the Next Great Weird Kids Show]( [The new kids’ show is coming to Apple TV and it looks like our kind of goofy.]( [READ THE STORY]( TALK TO US Have a question? Comment? Want to tell us a no-good terrible story? Or a helpful parenting tip? We want to hear from you (and yes, we may publish your response in an article or forthcoming newsletter). Send your thoughts to [hello@fatherly.com](mailto:hello@fatherly.com?subject=Fatherly%20Newsletter%20Feedback). [FATHERLY_LOGO]( [FB]( [IG]( [Twitter]( [View this email in your browser]( Some Spider Studios 20 W 22nd St Floor 3 New York, NY 10010-5858 You can [manage your preferences or unsubscribe]( here. Copyright © 2021 Some Spider, All rights reserved. [Link](