Your Sex Life Is Suffering. Your Partner Doesn’t Seem to Care. What Now?

Plus, The Snacks That Can Turn Kids into Picky Eaters [Fatherly_Seahorse]( Decades of research backs up what many married couples with children already know: The frequency and quality of sex tend to decline once couples are married and start having kids. If you and your partner are living this statistic, you’re not alone. Understanding that this is a common problem doesn’t make a lack of intimacy less painful, confusing, or frustrating, not to mention lonely. So, what do you do? We spoke to a variety of sex and relationship experts to identify some steps you can take to get to the bottom of this common issue. RELATIONSHIPS [28article1]( [Your Sex Life Is Suffering. Your Partner Doesn’t Seem to Care. What Now?]( These are the steps to take. [READ THE STORY](www.fatherly.com/love-money/how-to-bring-back-intimacy-in-marriage/) TIPS AND TRICKS Two Things Couples Who Are Good at Sex Talk About Regularly 1. They Talk About Their Sex Life Regularly — At the Right Time Healthy conversations about sex should be regular occurrences. It’s important that couples talk about everything from desires to more specific matters related to intimacy. And, as Carol Queen, PhD, and staff sexologist at Good Vibrations, emphasizes, when you have them is important. “It’s not just what you say, but when you say it,” she says. In other words, you need to know when it’s right to discuss sexual matters. Because such conversations will only work well when both partners are in the right mindset. “Good communication means making sure your partner has the emotional capacity to talk intimately,” she adds. “If they don’t, scheduling a later time can allow a couple to focus more positively.” When having the discussion, attentiveness is essential. “Active listening lets couples check in with what they heard their partner say and make sure they’ve understood what was meant,” Queen stresses. “If something is misinterpreted, it can be caught right away, rather than leading to a destructive rabbit hole.” 2. They Put Sex on the Calendar — And Talk About the Upcoming Date “When we come up with excuses like, ‘I’m too tired,’ or ‘I’m too busy’, our partner becomes less of a priority,” says Jackie Golob, a mental health counsellor and sex and relationship therapist at the Centre for Sexual Wellness, “It’s healthy to write down dates and plan times to have sex.” Importantly, couples should sit down and discuss days on which your combined workload is usually lighter, and you anticipate enough free time to really engage. Then, put it on the calendar, set some notifications, and use the days leading up to the deed to heighten the anticipation. “Healthy couples can tease each other leading up to the actual sex,” adds Golob. “They share what they’re looking forward to, and their minds can daydream and wander throughout the week.” [Here are some more topics that couples who are good at sex talk about regularly.]( FURTHER READING - [Why Every Couple Needs to Discuss Their “Sex Script”]( - [5 Things Women Wish Men Would Do in Bed More Often]( - [7 Habits of Couples Who Have Great Sex]( WELL MADE [loog-ukulele]( Ukelele By Loog This string instrument, like all Loog’s creations, is crafted to fit the fingers of younger players. With a little bit of practice, they’ll be strumming in no time. But the real teaching happens in the free companion app that offers everything from cord lessons to full songs and a drum machine. [BUY NOW]( PARENTING [28article2]( [The Snacks That Can Turn Kids into Picky Eaters]( Watch out for sneaky snacks that sound healthy but suppress your kid’s appetite. [READ THE STORY](www.fatherly.com/parenting/picky-eater-snacks/) TIPS AND TRICKS How to Respond if Your Child Refuses Food Don’t make a fuss. Research shows that children are more likely to eat in an emotionally positive environment and tend to eat less when negative statements are made about them. It’s easier said than done but try to accept that they know their tastes and hunger level better than you do and that they’ll eat eventually. [Is your child a picky eater? Are you simply curious about how to prevent them from becoming one? Our picky eaters guide has plenty of answers.]( HALLOWEEN [baby-halloween-costumes]( [10 Easy Halloween Costumes for Babies and Toddlers]( [Taco baby for the win!]( [READ THE STORY]( TALK TO US Have a question? Comment? Want to tell us a no-good terrible story? Or a helpful parenting tip? We want to hear from you (and yes, we may publish your response in an article or forthcoming newsletter). Send your thoughts to [hello@fatherly.com](mailto:hello@fatherly.com?subject=Fatherly%20Newsletter%20Feedback). [FATHERLY_LOGO]( [FB]( [IG]( [Twitter]( [View this email in your browser]( Some Spider Studios 20 W 22nd St Floor 3 New York, NY 10010-5858 You can [manage your preferences or unsubscribe]( here. Copyright © 2021 Some Spider, All rights reserved. [Link](