Fark NotNewsletter: Hooray A 25th Anniversary Or thereabouts

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1709763645-42515-14558 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [(3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: _______________________= _ Hey everyone hope your week's= been well. Anyone up for a 25th anniversary Fark Party? We're thinking about probably d= oing this in the fall, like September or October or something. And li= kely in our hometown of Lexington because I know a lot of the local venues.= So just to review the history= , sometime this time of year 25 years ago I mocked up a logo and posted the= first Fark links. Our first capture of that page in our personal archives = was a full page ending March 3, 1999. We posted that first full page = this past Sunday March 3, 2024. [Thanks for the = fun thread!](=3D") We're not su= re exactly which day Fark started because the records we have just seem inc= omplete. A few dates I'm sure of - I sent an email to Mike askin= g him to point the Fark.com domain to a webpage in late January. Befo= re that, for about two years Fark.com directed you to a picture of a squirr= el with large nuts, but we don't count that time because it was silly. = ; The first link we can directly track to anything was link #1 on this arch= ived page which went to [an article from Feb 8th, 1999](3D"http=)= >. But I can't remember what all was on the page when I launched it, = I feel like it was more than that link. If I'd known I'd have paid mo= re attention. Anyhow the exact= date isn't important because we're taking the entire year to celeb= rate! I've written a book about Fark, the evolution of the web, a= nd social media over the past quarter century that I'll be rolling out in a= few months. One thing that really struck me revisiting the past was = that it's not just nostalgia - the Web that Was actually was a better place= . And on that note, help us defend the last corner of the Web that Wa= s by signing up for [Tot= alFark](3D"https://=)today. Thursday 4p= m est it's the [Fark News Livestream](3D"=)! We've got = the whole crew back for another round if ridiculousness. I doubt we can top= last week's "lead singer doses bandmate for month with estrogen to steal h= is wife then admits it in a drunken text" story, however I've got another o= ne in the hopper that's on the same level. Bonus articles include "wh= at does a quantum computer even do if Google itself doesn't know," "tiny de= er rampage across Pennsylvania," and "what's worse than being stung by a sc= orpion in a Vegas hotel room?" Recordings stay available at [twitch.tv/drewcurtis](3D") for two weeks so if you miss the li= vestream you can play it like a podcast on your commute home from work.= an> ________________________ End Drew tran= smission ________________________ Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and = funniest comments from the past week. If your post isn't here, assume th= at NotNewsletterMonkey couldn't think of a tagline. (Th= e [Smartest](3D") and = [Funniest](3D") for th= e past month are found elsewhere.) Funny: - Naido[joked about the real tragedy of this case: the guilty pa= rty being deprived of motocross.](3D"=) - Archie Goodwin= rong>['A CAT park? Oh, one of these?'](3D") - kudayta= ng>[: "WHY IS THERE A PICTURE OF MY ROOM ON ZILLOW?!"](3D") - markie_farkie[knows how to tell if random banging is actually an= SOS (♪an SOS, to the world♪)](3D"http=). - Floki= trong>[knows how to make Purple Rain.](3D") Smart: -&nb= sp;HotLonelyTeenageGirl['Well maybe- oh.'](3D" - = Snarfangel[: "It's better to lose a customer than to lose a= lawsuit."](3D"h=) - ajgeek[wonders when The Onion w= ill start really messing with people by reporting the truth.](3D" -&nbs= p;aleister_greynight[believes the correlation between mari= juana use and heart attack / strokes likely isn't direct causation.](3D" = - sassyfrancis[knows what'll happen if you try to l= ower a travel nurse's wage.](3D" - poorjon[... Did= they do CPR while she was still underwater? Because that's the only way th= at sentence makes sense.](3D") - snowjack[believes= this cash-grabbing decision will immediately backfire.](3D") [Politics](3D"=)= > Politics Funny: - Naido[spotte= d a bizarre perjury trap.](3D") - Hunter Biden's Laptop= rong>[was discussed.](3D") - LovesToSpooge[knows w= hy Mitch is stepping down.](3D") - Ragin' Asian[kn= ows the official government position of Biden's dog.](3D") - OldRod[guessed at how information sifts through TFG's brain.](3D"=)= Politics Smart: - dhcmrlchtdj:= "It was pretty dumb." - Myrdinn[remembered = what the Electoral College was intended to be.](3D") - coff= eetime[proposed an equally-nonsensical reason for a Supreme Court = decision.](3D"=) - Mr. Coffee Nerves[proposes the g= overnment check TFG's shiats for parasites.](3D") - The Dog= Ate My Homework[discovered a social media post illustrating the n= onsensical "both candidates are bad" theory.](3D"htt=) - Charis= et[wonders why so many people never developed a sense for mental = or personality disorders.](3D".=) - Kubo[wishes they= had enough money to buy one of those TFG properties that are going up for = sale soon. Surely.](3D") - markie_farkie[Problem: = Lie detectors detect nervousness, not lies.](3D") Mon= key's Pick I felt these posts were exceptionally funny or = smart, even though they didn't get many votes. Warning: Unsorted, may co= ntain politics. Smart: - PHANTOM STRANGE= R[shared their experience working in bands.](3D"=) - Northern[knows not to agree to a "tiny home" lease agreement. - EBN-OZN](3D"https:/=)[has borne witness to many, many fi= ghts over inheritance.](3D" - Carter Pewterschmidt= >[knows that most "listed" buildings aren't as restricted in terms of impr= ovements as you'd think.](3D") - whither_apophis[d= ebunked the grape juice argument for Jesus turning water into wine.](3D") = - mrmopar5287[knows the article is WRONG.](3D" = - Martian_Astronomer[shared a thought experiment - ch= anging "bad" to "Brad."](3D" - New Rising Sun[kno= ws to treat crazy like a threat display.](3D") - Dryad= ong>[shared a real-life method of detecting info leaks.](3D") [CSB](3D"=)Sunday Morn= ing theme - "[That Time You Went Hor= seback Riding](3D"=)" This week, Farkers were challenged to share= their equine-riding experience(s). [Funny](3D"): -&nb= sp;LoneVVolf[got a year in college from knowing horseback = riding, somehow?](3D=) - Thosw['s experience is l= imited to those plastic horses. Like most of us.](3D") - Hi= ghlanderRPI[remembers that old myth about Catherine the Great and = her horse who crushed her.](3D"https://=) - Squid_for_Brains= >[rode a very, very bad horse.](3D") [Smart](3D"): -&nb= sp;Wenchmaster[rode a horse on a mountain path, as a part= of a military tour. Guess.](=3D" - Jesus McSordid= [was an actually decent riding school instructor.](3D") - LadySusan[likely felt like the luckiest girl in the world.](3D"https://w=) - vudukungfu[wanted to learn to rope and ride. And= write, too, apparently.](3D" = Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted [contest](3D" entries from last week. As alway= s, everybody gets one - and they're sorted by how likely they are to still = be open. [Photoshops](3D=): - Thoaar[s= potted a scene from that one Batman movie.](3D") - EvaDewer= [was shown a cut scene from Zoolander.](3D"=) - Tro= llingForColumbine[spotted an eerie resemblance between cat butts a= nd wood.](3D"ht=) - Snarfangel[knows how some of us = used to see healthy food.](3D" - opalakea[was enc= ouraged to pie someone stinky.](3D") - RedZoneTuba= [crafted a Zillow listing.](3D") - Clockwork Kumquat= ong>[watched Dr. Crusher give Wesley a cooking lesson](3D") - Octafrye[couldn't resist modding the TFG shoes into sick skati= ng shoes.](3D"https:/=) - Bumcheese[knows exactly where t= hese fries belong.](3D" - Yammering_Splat_Vector = found a beached boat in a bottle. - nitropissering= trong>[passed the blunt.](3D") - Resident Muslim[m= mm, feet.](3D") - retrophil[began Columbo's great= est case.](3D" - Mock26[found David Bowie.](3D" - Thrakkorzog[was either saved or sabotaged by Yo= da. Or maybe he's just giving out a Force-wedgie.](3D" - S= urly U. Jest[wants to believe... that the cake's not a lie.](3D"https:/=) - pocketgoose[upgraded the G.R.O.S.S. fort.](3D" - bucket_pup[found a store in the middle of a temp= oral anomaly.](3D" - GaijinH[got down, even with = his old bones.](3D" - samsquatch[added utility t= o Napoleon's hat.](3D") [Captions](3D" [Caption Mrs. Wascher taking your call](3D"=) ([thread](3D")) - Klippoklondike[encoun= tered a name pun](3D") - Benevolent Misanthrope[na= rrated a paid phone-sex hotline.](3D") [Caption these carn= ival partiers](3D"=) ([thread](3D"https://w=)) - Octafrye= ong>[spotted someone in a very un-festive mood.](3D") - Snu= bnose[encountered the Cult of Fruity Pebbles.](3D"=) [Ca= ption this toothy tour guide](3D"https=) (thread) - RedZoneTuba[spared no expense.](3D"https=) - puffy999= [shouldn't have gotten on the Cthulhu bus.](3D"=) [Caption these competitors= at the very first "Florida Man Games"](3D"https://=) ([thread](3D")) - Octafrye[knows how the win= ner is really decided.](3D") - orneryredguy[spotte= d some truly off-putting men.](3D") [Caption this helpful tutor](3D") ([thread=](3D")) - Klippoklondike [taught someone how not to Fark= .](3D" - RedZoneTuba[can't believe they have to s= ay this.](3D" [Caption these reveling raptors](3D") ([th= read](3D")) - RedZoneTuba[guessed at how TFG sees = himself.](3D" - spongeboob[led the raptors into = a George-of-the-Jungle style revelry.](3D" [Caption this peek behind the scenes](3D"=)= ([thread](3D")) - RedZoneTuba[knows why= the laugh track was invented.](3D") - dionysusaur= [knows it's definitely not Howdy Doody Time.](3D") [Farktography theme=](3D"): "[States of Matter](3D"https:/=)= " This week, Farkers were challenged to show us [subjects with a variet= y of different states of matter, be it solid, liquid, gas, plasma, or anyth= ing in between.](3D" - Lovesandwich[: "A whole lot= ta liquid with a whole lotta gas, including liquid suspended in a gas!"](3D")= - gorrck[showed us non-airplane-generated blue = ice.](3D" - New Age Redneck[... Are you sure you'r= e not being abducted by aliens? That looks an awful lot like a UFO l= ightpost.](3D" - Elsinore[is under assault by l= iquid.](3D" - TechnoHead[collected diamond ice fr= om Diamond Beach.](3D" - turbocucumber[FOG!](3D") [Upcoming Fark Parties](3D"=) It's easy to = plan for a Fark Party - you're effectively saying that "I'm going to be her= e at this time, come hang out." [Submit one!](=3D" [Monday, April 8, 2024, Total eclipse of the Sun Fark = Party at Noon. Buffalo Small Boat Harbor - About a Month to Go!](3D"=) Fark Headlines of the Week= A selection of some of the top headlines from last week. [Emergency= services help protester outside Israeli embassy cease fire](3D") [Texas wildfires may have destroyed u= p to five hundred structures. Number of classes, interfaces, arrays destroy= ed still unknown](3D") [Ap= parently guitarists, no matter how good, cannot make the trains run on time=](3D=) Fark Weird News Quiz= (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fu= n time on the Quiz last week, where we learned denim is the most awesome ma= terial ever for a car interior. On the Quiz itself, Shotgun Justice= came out on top with a score of 1042, followed by ze= rkalo in second with 1019 and Charlie 3 sticks= g> in third with 940. buckwebb made fourth with 940, = and common sense is an oxymoron made it into the top = five with 938. The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz = was about why McDonald's restaurants this week are becoming WcDonald's. Onl= y 36% of quiztakers knew that it was a celebration of manga and anime cultu= re, fans of which make up a not insignificant number of their customer base= . Because say what you will about waifus, I don't think anyone has ever acc= used them of being great at preparing meals. The easiest ques= tion on last week's Hard Quiz was about which company is trying to enforce = arbitration clauses printed on their refrigerator boxes - boxes which many = customers never saw because the retailer removed the appliance from th= e box outside the home before bringing it in. I'm wondering if the unhoused= people who then take up residence inside the boxes are under some kind of = legal obligation based on the print. The hardest question on = last week's Easy Quiz was about which popular young kids' show is finally r= eturning with new episodes and a 90-minute special. Only 48% of quiztakers = recognized that Bluey was the Australian kids show. Peppa Pig is British, m= uch to the consternation of American parents whose kids are using words lik= e "mummy", "to-mah-to", "give it a go", and "bloody fookin' hell". I may ha= ve made one of those up. The easiest question on last week's Easy Q= uiz was about which actor and filmmaker mortgaged his house to film the fir= st two of his upcoming "Horizons" movie series. 87% of quiztakers knew that= Kevin Costner was the only person ever to win Best Actor and Best Director= for the same movie, that being 1990's "Dances With Wolves". So how exactly= is "Horizons" like the sun? It's set in the West. If you mis= sed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D" now that you k= now a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we= 'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. 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