Fark NotNewsletter: Did Valentine's Day really happen?

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1708554175-40997-14963 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [(3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone hope your we= ek's been well. President's Da= y used to be a huge holiday. We posted an article on it Monday, if yo= u were taking the day off you might have missed it. Been thinking abo= ut it lately because I'm about to take a trip down to Bowling Green, site o= f the infamous Bowling Green Massacre. Sometimes I take I65 to get th= ere, but other times I jump off the freeway and take US31E instead. U= S31E used to be the main road between Louisville and Nashville. Of in= terest, it goes by Abraham Lincoln's fake birthplace. When I was a kid growing up in Kentucky pretty much= everyone ended up taking a school field trip out to see it. It's a h= uge stone temple that somewhat resembles the Lincoln Memorial - which is no= t a coincidence, this building was essentially a first draft attempt for th= e DC version which was built over a decade later. Inside is a small c= abin where Abraham Lincoln was supposedly born, but definitely wasn't. = ; Up until recently, the park guides never mentioned that it's a fake. = ; They certainly never told us kids that. Even better, the cabin had = once been part of a traveling sideshow hosted by a wannabe P.T. Barnum type= . You can read more about all this here: [= .org/wiki/Abraham_Lincoln_Birthplace_National_Historical_Park](3D") Also along the same route is Abraham Linco= ln's boyhood home, as well as Lincoln's temporary tree fort, Lincoln's tras= h heap, and some place Lincoln once ate half a sandwich at. If you he= ad farther south you pass Lincoln's kangaroo farm, Lincoln's motel wigwam v= illage, Lincoln's giant orange statue of a T-Rex, Lincoln's Mammoth Cave, a= nd Lincoln's Corvette Factory and Museum. All of the things in that l= ast sentence do actually exist, although Lincoln (probably) didn't own most= of them. Although you have to take a slight detour to see the T-Rex,= it's right off I65 near Cave City. I like to believe Lincoln rode ar= ound on it like a knock-off Game of Thrones extra. Thursday 4pm to 5pm(ish) it's the [Fark News Livestream](3D") with all of us! Anytime there's a Monday= holiday the News Cycle doesn't really hit its stride until Wednesdays or T= hursdays. As a result, I have no idea what we'll be talking about.&nb= sp; However, USAToday Fact Check has been doing some heavy lifting lately, = I don't know if it's related or not. Stories definitely not getting d= ropped include 546 words for drunkenness, good vibrations of yore, and Deep= in the What of Texas? And more. ________________________ End Drew transmission ___________= _____________ Top Interactions Some of the best interactions from the past week. Do = note: this takes priority over being placed in "top comments." -&= nbsp;[ArkPanda](3D"=) and co. remembered lovebug season in Flo= rida. Just in time for Valentine's! - A CSB by [Mr. Coffee= Nerves](3D") lead to a discussion about Balance Billing - and how t= o legally avoid paying for it. - [RandomAxe](3D" commended a gorilla's snubbing, leading to a chimpanzee discussion. -= Farkers in [This Thread](3D"htt=) realized the implications of calling an unbor= n fetus a state employee. - We had a [Gender Reveal Party](3D" thread, for = the first time in ages. Didn't they happen way more often before? Top Comments Some of the t= op-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week. If your post= isn't here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey couldn't thin= k of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D"http=) and [Funniest](3D"https:=) for the past month are found elsewhere.) Funny:= - Mentat[: "If you find a guy like that on = Match.com, let me know and I'll fark him myself."](3D" slightly exaggerating about the profile.](3D")) - aungen= g>[found a way to compare teenage girls to velociraptors.](3D") - FarkingReading[joked about why the article author chose t= o include a random shot of a beach.](=3D" - GardenWeasel= trong>[realized they'd found a real-life Halo 1 map (scroll down to the sec= ond post for the full effect).](3D") - toddalmighty= >[spotted a teleporter hidden in plain sight.](3D") - Abe = Vigoda's Ghost[- is that a Harry Potter reference, or a 3/5ths com= promise joke?](3D"https=) - Rev.K[: "What the f*ck kind = of depraved, rich-person sexual acts are performed here? "](3D" = Smart: - Badmoodman[... I mean, it's not b= ad advice.](3D" - RandomAxe[has a theory - some o= f police violence is caused by a desire to sell more gear to the police.](3D" > - AirForceVet['s friend got an on-the-ground re= port of NATO's reaction to TFG's NATO comments.](3D" - chi= townmike[knows when a story goes through more than 2 levels of reg= urgitation, you should probably drop it.](3D"=) - Tyrosine= strong>[knows how to avoid paying rent twice.](3D") - forth= eloveofgod[wishes people would stop dismissing the work they put i= n to stop Y2K.](3D"https://w=) - Stretchy Cat[wow, that's a = new one. "bangmaid order."](3D") - Monkeyfark Ridiculous= trong>[had to clarify "artilleryman in Denmark."](3D") - NM= Volunteer[shared how bars in New Mexico have been slowly migratin= g away from being hangout spots.](3D"https://w=) - Naido[: "I= t's not an entire generation, you goofs. Most of them have as much control = over this stuff as you do."](3D") [Politics](3D" Politics Funny:= - Demetrius[knows the other kind of red sh= oes.](3D" - neongoats [discovered Trump-brand urine tes= ts.](3D" - Unobtanium[knows exactly where those s= neakers are going.](3D" Politics Smart: - stoli n coke[noticed where the TFG shoes went.](3D"https:=) - edmo[knows the other reason truckers avoid NYC.](3D"https://w=) -&n= bsp;Snarcoleptic_Hoosier[found an upside to legally defini= ng embryos as children.](3D" - mybluemake[commend= s AOC for knowing when to call bullshiat.](3D") - NewportBa= rGuy[knows that the Daily Show's goal isn't to argue a point.](3D"=) - HerptheDerp[wonders whatever happened to the t= ruck border convoy.](3D" - It'sMorphin'Time[knows= just how dumb inflating a property's value is.](3D") Monkey's Pick I felt these posts were exceptionally funny = or smart, even though they didn't get many votes. Warning: Unsorted, may= contain politics. Funny: - b0rg9= g>[: "Is the owl okay?"](3D") - FlippityFlap,[that = sounds awesome actually](3D"). (Bonus! He found an article about it! [ l/running-of-the-bulls/](3D")) Smart: - GB= manNC[prefers dating apps due to conversational consent.](3D"=) = - LordJiro[wonders why people don't just move to Russ= ia if they love it so much.](=3D" - [A tip from](3D" Some rear view mirrors have tabs, buttons, etc. to manually dim t= hem at night.](3D"=) - Wessoman[has a theory that= some of the 'America Bad' international news is a result of World Cup para= noia.](3D") - pheelix[knows why carts get scuffed = tires.](3D" - Destructor[: "I really hope there's = a suicide watch for this guy." (because) "The living are not done with him = yet."](3D" - Noticeably F.A.T.[found a way to use un= informative podcasts to become wiser.](3D" [CSB](3D" Morning theme - "[The most unusual date you've= even been on](3D"=)" This week, Farkers were challenged t= o share their most bizarre date. [Funny](3D"): - cherryl taggart[has hopes for a Fark party wedding recepti= on.](=3D" - Johnson[gave an actress a great day.= a> - johndalek](3D" 40+ great years of laughter. - EBN-OZN](3D" on the wrong apartment doo= r; was told to come in anyways.](3D" [Smart](3D"): = - Max Wedge's college buddies wanted to go camping= with their girlfriends. I don't know what the worst case scenario was, but= it came pretty close. - Shift_Left_Political= >[met a manual chewer.](3D") - JuggleGeek[acciden= tally avoided the classic "upset father waiting with the shotgun."](3D") = - beezeltownknew when to avoid a threesome. Top Contest Entries= n> Some of the top-voted [c= ontest](3D"=) entries from last week. As always, everybody gets one - and they= 're sorted by how likely they are to still be open. [Photoshops](3D"): EvaDewer was killing it this week, with top-voted = posts on almost every Photoshop contest. - Octafrye= ng>[ponders buying a snow cat to ponder for them. (Or do they just want one= of those vehicles designed for snow?)](3D") - tasteme= ong>[wandered into a game of Twister. I'm just impressed his hat's still on= .](3D") - Herb Utsmelz[immortalized a chaos dunk. - EvaDewer](3D" how Heavy Metal is.](3D" = - Thoaar[motion-captured that pose.](=3D" - = ;RedZoneTuba[found a mountain that looks suspiciously like= the Paramont logo.](3D=) - Yammering_Splat_Vector= [discovered a caterpillar with an unusual defense mechanism.](3D") -&n= bsp;James_Corn[encountered Lisa Simpson in real life.](=3D" - samsquatch[is jacked in to the Grid.](3D" = - Thrakkorzog[can sense brains.](3D" - Driver[couldn't choose.](3D"https://w=) - clovercat= ong>[visited a rally.](3D") - retrophil[did some I= NTENSE cooking of the Wizard of Oz.](3D") - Surly U. Jest= strong>[appears only in one mirror at a time. Maybe they're a half-vampire?=](3D") - TheRealSecurb[is very proud of themselves= .](3D" - no icon tact[had a great Fark party.](3D" - nitropissering[sent these movers into the 11'= -8" bridge.](3D" - Vortex Dweller[vaporwaved this= rooftop meaning. (Am I doing the internets right?)](3D") - FirstDennis[discovered a Zillow listing fit for a Fark thread.](3D"https:/=)= > - Stephen_Falken[gave Zoolander his costume.= a> - samthecamel](3D" the actual size of ta= rantulas.](3D" Captions: [Caption this greeting](3D") - RedZoneTuba[knows how bears kill people.](3D" - Octafryeplayed the high-five game. [Caption these nearly extinct Kagu](3D") - Red= ZoneTuba[knows there's only one way to fight.](3D"=) - Gentlequiet[: "If we were kaiju, we would rule this planet."](3D"http=)= > - LF1encountered quicksand. - = ;The Exit Stencilist[told a conspiracy theory to a bird.= a>](3D" this annoyed receptionist](3D".=) - = Walker[tried to advertise to a city dog.](3D"https=) - puffy999[didn't even know that kind of insurance could expi= re.](3D"http=) [Caption these Wild West reenactors](3D".=) - Klippoklondike[knows the world that Pace Picante= Sauce prefers.](3D" - grokca[wonders where all= the sheriff badges went.](3D") - Mojongo[just wan= ts beans.](3D") [Caption this weather report](3D"h=) -&nb= sp;RedZoneTuba[knows what happens to on-the-ground report= ers that get too adventurous.](=3D" - Octafrye[wan= ts to own up about the storm.](3D") [Farktography theme](3D" >: "[Sweets for the Sweetest](3D")" This week, Farkers were chall= enged to show us pictures of candy and other confections. - bikkurikun[saw a dude make ginger candy. Or were they the one w= ho made it?](3D"https:=) - Elsinore[had some gorgeous tir= amisu.](3D" - MorningBreath['s daughter baked cupc= akes for her birthday. (Did she make the icing herself? I hope she did. For= those not in the know, it makes the cupcake 10x tastier.)](3D" - = kdawg7736[had a "Peanut Butter Surprise."](3D"ht=) [Upcoming Fark Parties](3D") It's easy to plan for a Fa= rk Party - you're effectively saying that "I'm going to be here at this tim= e, come hang out." [Submit one!](3D"https://w=) [Monday, April 8, 2024, Total eclipse of the Sun Fark Party at Noon= . Buffalo Small Boat Harbor - 2 Months To Go!](3D") [Subby's hometown made Eater's 2024 list o= f food travel destinations. Up for a celebratory Fark Party at Odd Duck?](3D"https=)= > ([Restaurant info](3D"=) - also, has anyone said any da= ys yet?) Fark Headl= ines of the Week A selection of some of the top headlines fro= m last week. [Breaking: Donald Trump's piggy bank](3D"https:/=) [Jacksonvi= lle residents who fought against having a few cold ones in their neighborho= od are now fighting against having a few cold ones in their neighborhood](3D")= > [Connecticut pastor decides "Putting the 'Christ' in 'Christmas'" is o= utdated, tries out putting the meth in Methodist](3D"=) ['Chutes and Taggers](3D") = [Torchdown= Jesus gets golden cock](3D") [Due to a scheduling mix up on God's = part, Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day are on the same day this year. Whic= h I guess means you can work "rubbing ash all over your significant other" = into your foreplay. Whatever floats your boat, man](3D") Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to yo= u by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz las= t week, where we learned Will Smith eats spaghetti really weird , and = the coming AI apocalypse will put all entertainers out of business. On the = Quiz itself, WoolyManwich came out on top with 1029 and an= invite to the 1000 club, followed by rider_you_know = in second with 984 and Glockenspiel Hero in third wit= h 930. Denjiro made fourth with 928. and OtherLittleGuy made it into the top five with 916. = The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what a rather intox= icated Florida Man dropped while driving past a satellite office of the Pol= k County Sheriff's Department. Only 26% of quiztakers knew he was transport= ing an airboat, and apparently having considerable difficulty getting it ba= ck on his trailer. His belligerence towards the officer coming to see who's= blocking traffic in front of the office certainly didn't help matters. So = remember to be nice to the police when you're drunk and loading up a boat i= n the middle of the street in front of their station. The easiest q= uestion on last week's Hard Quiz was about which company is riding the AI b= oom to a 246% increase in stock price in the past year. 80% of quiztakers r= ecognized graphics chip maker Nvidia as the real power behind all the chatb= ots. Which sucks for gamers, as this is happening just as crypto is on its = way out and we thought we might get affordable graphics cards. The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which character N= ickelodeon brought on to explain penalties in their broadcast of the Superb= Owl. Only 52% of quiztakers recognized Dora the Explorer as a Nickelodeon = property. Professor Utonium, the creator of the Powerpuff Girls, is a Carto= on Network IP. The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz = was over which team won the Superb Owl. Only 2% of quiztakers didn't know t= he Kansas City Swifites were the winners, which has to make one wonder what= they watched instead last Sunday. If you missed out last wee= k, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D"htt=) now that you know a few of the= answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all ag= ain on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1708554175-40997-14963--