Fark NotNewsletter: We should just rename the PolTab to SwiftVille

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1707345327-77554-15386 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [(3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 (Credit to [Mikey1969](3D" post for the title.= ) ________________________ A message from Drew = Curtis: ________________________ Hey everyone hope your week's been well. There is no question that [TotalFark](3D" are wha= t keeps Fark running. You would not believe the revenue impact TF sub= scriptions have had over the years. If you've considered subscribing = before but haven't due to just not getting around to it, it would make a hu= ge difference if you decided that today was the day to sign up. It's also my birthday today ;) There are some fun things on deck for t= his year. The Fark 25 book is ready to go - regardless of whether you= 've been along for the ride or if you just got here recently, it's a great = homage to what Anil Dash refers to as [The Web That Was](3D"). We've been defending one of the last rem= aining corners of it for a quarter of a century now. I hope it shares= some insights on how the Internet got into its current predicament along w= ith how it might one day get out of it. ([With any = luck, that'll be soon!](3D")) Al= so, I've been coding again. I'm super rusty so I've been poking aroun= d making tweaks here and there. Have you noticed any of them? I= f I did them right, you haven't. I've only done a few design tweaks a= nd bug fixes so far but I'm working up to bigger things. Like what yo= u may ask? I'm announcing the first one on TotalFark on Frida= y, in fact. And I need some input on it - [sign up](3D" today and join me then!= an> Thursday 4pm et it's the [Fark News Livestream](3D") with me, Dill, and Lucky! We= skipped last week so I'm fully loaded with some of the weirdest articles I= 've seen in awhile, including DDoSing toothbrushes from Switzerland, effemi= nate Jesus outrage, and someone's painting squirrels red. And more!= span> ________________________ End Drew = g> transmission ________________________ Top Interactions Some of the best interacti= ons from the past week. Do note: this takes priority over being pla= ced in "top comments." - Farkers in [This Thread](3D" joked about= this gravity-defying house. - Farkers came up with totally legit= excuses for the bloodstain [Diagonal](3D"=)spotted. -&n= bsp;[fatassbastard](3D")and co. got their olds a new telepho= ne. Top Comments= > Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past wee= k. If your post isn't here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey = rong>couldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D" and [Funniest](3D" for the past month are found elsewher= e.) Funny: - leviosaurus[shared= a tale of the pranks the Predator actors would get up to.](3D") - = New Rising Sun[braved the comments.](=3D" - Bumcheese[has a use for an upside-down room.](3D"https:/=) - FortyHams[theorycrafted a cartoon about the new king's affli= ction](3D"http=) - Pocket Ninja [wonders what would hap= pen if Taylor Swift kneeled during the National Anthem.](3D" - a perfectly serviceable can of spooge[: "I'm certain I've bo= ught weed from this man."](3D" - markie_farkie[, y= 'know, that's not a bad idea. Bags colored to look like mold? Could work.= a> - I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account k= nows there is no "S" in IoT (the Internet of Things).](3D") Smart= : - New Rising Sun[explained the game of te= lephone that distorts science in news articles.](3D" - Spe= ctroBoy[wonders why this McDonalds-goer didn't check for their bri= ght yellow allergen.](3D".=) - Shostie[: "No one like= s the Invisible Hand of the Market when it starts fisting them."](3D") -= Rapmaster2000[has a theory as to why McDonalds in th= at specific place is so darn expensive.](3D" - Not A Rocke= t Scientist[worries about the kid safety of this house.](3D"https://=) -= Abox[pointed out more than one problem with calling = others 'beta.'](3D"h=) - Mad Scientist[wonders what = horrible genetic issue might be keeping this royal out of the public eye.= a>](3D")[Politic= s](3D".=) Politics Funny: - White Ro= se Duelist[proposed a potential effect of this asinine supreme cou= rt ruling.](3D"https://w=) - Gergesa[oh nooo they're invis= ible nooow.](3D" - Mr. Coffee Nerves[guessed at a= reason for an emergency Russian recall.](3D") - AAAAGGGGHH= HH[where'd he get the horse genes?](3D".=) Politics Smart= : - Shostie[: "So what were they expecting t= o see?"](3D" - johnphantom[wait, you're right - = what happened to all that anti-Russia sentiment from the Republican party? - markie_farkie](3D" TFG hasn't watched = Schoolhouse Rock](3D" Monkey's Pick I felt these posts were exc= eptionally funny or smart, even though they didn't get many votes. Warni= ng: Unsorted, may contain politics. Funny: - AmbassadorBooze[joked about a theoretical government program = to combat abstinence.](3D=) Smart: - Madeu= p Farkname[: "Imagine that this technology existed and worked in a = clinical and practical sense fifty years ago."](3D"https://w=) - Jim_= Callahan[broke down exactly how this ideological poll is biased.= a> [C= SB](3D"h=)Sunday Morning theme - "Learning to Drive"= strong> This week, Farkers were challenged to share stories from when th= ey were just starting to drive. Funny: - little big man](3D"=)= trong>['s clipboard committed car murder.](3D") - Squid_for_= Brains['s sex ed instructor: "No way, I know you."](3D"=) - = neofonz[skipped school to take a 30-second drivers test.= a> - SloppyFrenchKisser](3D"http=)[learned manual transmiss= ion from experience.](3D" [Smart](3D"): - vudukungfu= [and all his siblings learned on stick shift. Bonus quote: "to graduate f= rom vudukungfu driving school, grasshopper, you have to drive around with a= box of fresh eggs on a bale of hay on board."](3D") - Grou= pon boob job['s driving instructors were decent, but man did they m= ake it unpleasant.](3D"https:/=) - Vansthing[slapped toget= her a car for his kid from, effectively, random parts lying around.](3D") = - i.r.id10tcan't help but miss dad's advice. Top Contest Entries= pan> Some of the top-voted [contest](=3D" entries from last week. As always, everybody gets one - and = they're sorted by how likely they are to still be open. [Photoshops](3D")= g>: A "[Photoshop Tennis](3D"=)" thread= occurred this week! This time, the theme was "Social Gathering Site." (= If you're confused, a "Photoshop Tennis" contest is where you build off of = another Photoshopper's post.) It might still be open - check it out! -= RedZoneTubafound a job only a chicken-man could d= o. - I_Am_Weasel[spotted the leader. (hint: = it's the one with the silliest hat.)](3D" - Yammering_Spla= t_Vector[found the goodest girl.](3D"=) - Thoaar= trong>[had to scrounge for shark costumes if they wanted to pull off the Ba= by Shark concert.](3D") - Octafrye[broke down duri= ng an important space mission.](3D") - retrophil[f= ound the set of an Orion pictures release.](3D") - EvaDewer= [unleashed the Pillsbury Dough Boy.](3D"=) - samsqu= atch[squashed that dress.](3D"=) - p51d007= [intruded on their cat's territory.](3D") - pocketgoose= strong>[works at soup.](3D") - chewd[recreated Tha= t One Scene from Titanic with football. Yes.](3D") - Stephe= n_Falken[knows what to do with glass houses.](3D"=) - Driver[went to the wrong heaven.](3D"=) - Terrap= in Bound[woke the Domo.](3D"=) - Herb Utsmelz= ng>[played a game of Cliff Hangers with real climbers.](3D") - Surly U. Jest[felt the soup was missing their favorite topping= - eyes.](3D"ht=) - Thrakkorzog[believes their matchi= ng coloration means they have the right to both planets.](3D" - kolpanic[let the Three Stooges into a bar. Oh no.](3D"https=) -= no icon tactmodded their eyes. Maybe then they'd g= et their head bitten off. - Circusdog320[gav= e this cat spotlights for eyes.](3D") [Captions](3D" "[Caption thi= s debate about the menu](3D")" - Devolving_Spud [thought= the frog would turn into a human if kissed.](3D") - docsigma= trong>[: "He has hello'd his last baby."](3D") "[Caption these Lunar Ne= w Year partiers](3D" - tasteme [gave orders to the chi= ld.](3D" - puffy999 [really shouldn't have partied that= hard.](3D" "[Caption this test drive](3D"https://=)" - RedZoneTuba= [included a safety feature they really shouldn't have needed.](3D"=)= > - aleister_greynight [discovered a new astronaut tra= ining method.](3D" [Farktography theme](3D" "[Priz= ed Posessions](3D")" (sic) This week, Farkers were challenged to show us t= he things they cherish most in the world. Difficulty: people aren't things.= - Elsinore[gave a name to their french horn.](3D" > - skybird659[barely got the family Lion of Luc= erne memorial.](3D" - Badafuco[enjoys the peace = and quiet.](3D") - Lovesandwich[has been everywhe= re with their car. Also the dog, in the car.](3D") [Upcom= ing Fark Parties](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you= 're effectively saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, come hang o= ut." [Submit one!](3D") [Monda= y, April 8, 2024, Total eclipse of the Sun Fark Party at Noon. Buffalo Smal= l Boat Harbor](3D") F= ark Headlines of the Week A selection of some of the top head= lines from last week. [NC town fights blue-green algae, bring= s in cyantologists](=3D") [Apo= llo Creed beats Rocky Balboa to death](=3D") [Musk's package is sh= rinking](3D") [The life of this passenger depends upon just one t= hing: finding someone back there who not only is an NFL tight end with a di= abetic test kit, but who didn't have fish for dinner](3D"https://=) [Pizza= shop: "Closed due to unforeseen circumcisions." Fine, just keep the tip](3D")= > [Gas leak in Mi= dvale prompts evacuation. Guess they finally got that door open](3D"=) [Canadian assisted death program ends up being tragically hip](3D") = [♫Fly Me= to the Moon♫](3D") Fa= rk Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy= strong>) Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we learned we mig= ht do better to go back to badgers for predicting the weather rather than g= roundhogs. On the Quiz itself, two people beat our admin baseline of 927 se= t by Two Dogs Farking - Denjiro in first = with 999 and KRSESQ in second with 977. rogod= made third with 923, princhester came in fourth = with 910, and Legal Dude made it into the top five wi= th 904. The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was abo= ut the final concert by The Beatles. Only 42% of quiztakers knew that after= recording songs like "Get Back" and "The Long and Winding Road" in the bas= ement of their record company, the band decided to head up to the roof for = an impromptu concert that was meant to be part of the film project they had= planned to announce their return to live shows. They had named their recor= ding label "Apple Records" and its parent company "Apple Corps" in order to= cause considerable headaches for Steve Jobs some forty years later. You ca= n hear the full audio of the five songs they played before the bobbies show= ed up with a "what's all this, then?" on streaming services under the = title "Get Back: The Rooftop Concert". The easiest question o= n last week's Hard Quiz was about a judge in Las Vegas and her oversharing = on social media. 80% of quiztakers knew that it was never a good look for a= judge to party in a hot tub with the public defenders representing defenda= nts before her court, and an even worse look to take selfies and = post them on your public Facebook page. As SCOTUS has exemplified, judges s= hould do their partying with the rich donors instead and no one is allowed = to complain. The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz wa= s about the very first instant hot cocoa mix, which was marketed to airline= s for mile-high beverage service before being offered to the public. Only 5= 4% of quiztakers recognized Swiss Miss as an American brand. It was created= by Conagra foods to market food engineer Charles Sanna's idea to mix insta= nt dry milk with sugar and cocoa powder. In a true example of the irony of = marketing spin, Nestlé, their main competitor in the instant cocoa m= ix market, actually is Swiss. The easiest question on last we= ek's Easy Quiz was about a statue stolen from a youth baseball park in Wich= ita, KS and later found destroyed. 90% of quiztakers recognized that a city= that would name their youth baseball organization "League 42" would defini= tely have a statue of the great Jackie Robinson in front. While Robinson di= dn't have a direct connection to Wichita itself, it is likely he played the= re a few times while he was signed to the Kansas City Monarchs of the Negro= League in 1945. If you missed out last week, now's a great t= ime to [catch up on th= e Fark Weird News Quiz](3D") now that you know a few of the answers. Congratu= lations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday. = p> --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1707345327-77554-15386--