NNL SPECIAL EDITION: Fark's 2023 Headlines of the Year CATEGORY AWARD winners

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1706131387-28107-15788 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [http= s://fark.com/13124612](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 Congratulations to Fark's 2023 Headline of the= Year CATEGORY AWARD winners! The CATEGORY AWARD winners are = selected from the Headline of the Year candidates, highlighting the amazing= variety of headlines we have on Fark! So many headlines and s= o many kinds! After tons of deliberation and juggling we narrowed it = down to these general categories: Smart / Clever Lyrics / Song R= eferences Dark Context Wordplay Puns Visual / Spelled = vs Spoken Pop Culture Fark / Self-referential We focused on g= etting the top voted headlines for each category - note that a lot of = the headlines fit in multiple categories so we did our best! Thank = You to all our fantastic Fark Voters! Thank You to our amazing Fark Subm= itters!!! Your submissions and your voting are what makes all this= possible! CATEGORY AWARD winners, please contact [Farkback](3D" to claim your prize! CATEGORY AWARD winners will receive 200 [FarkUnits](3D" Please be patient with us as we add them to= your account this week! Or you can choose a vintage T-shirt from= our accidentally archived collection (there are only a few left and in unc= ommon sizes but they're still Fark history and maybe you know a tailor?! - = please ask for the secret link!), or a commensurate item from the [Fark Store](3D".=) (we're working with ou= r merchandise partner to add more items!). Contact us in [Farkback](3D" and we'll find somet= hing that works! SMART / CLEVER = MAIN Murder victim found doused in both acid and alkaline. = Police believe someone was trying to have him neutralized = [fark.com/comments/126= 66666](3D") Linked article: bbc.co.uk [ThunderChild](3D" DISCUS= SION How old is too old to trick-or-treat? Experts weigh in= . Experts in what? [fark.com/comments/13019250](3D" Linked article: [fox= 6now.com](3D") [Monroy Martens](3D"http=) SPORTS Bob= Knight is battling an "undisclosed illness." Throw him your thoughts and c= hairs [fark.com/comments/12809850](3D"https=) Linked article: [espn.com](3D") [The Third Man](3D"20Thi=)= ng> BUSINESS Things that the middle class spen= d money on that prevent them from becoming rich. Missing from list: Housing= , food, and utilities [fark.com/comments/13054036](3D" Linked article: [msn.com](3D") dustman81 STEM Physic= ists say time travel can be simulated using quantum entanglement. This is a= repeat from next week [fark.com/comments/13038608](3D" Linked article: gizmodo.com [Winterlight](3D" ENTERTAINMENT = Nicolas Cage: "I didn't get into movies to become a meme." You = don't say? [fark.com/comments/13045812](3D"=) Linked article: [huffpost.com](3D") [EBN-OZN](3D" FANDOM = Hey, that new Dungeons and Dragons movie is pretty good. Someone should con= sider making some sort of game out of it [fark.com/comments/12812292](3D" Lin= ked article: [screen= -idle.com](3D"=) [Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs](3D"htt=) D'AWWW Biggest fan sneaks into Metallica concert. Has be= en a fan since Master of Puppies [fark.com/comments/12978408](3D" Linked artic= le: [sfchronicle.com](3D"=) [maxandgrinch](3D" FOOD Today is National Avocado Day, a day to celebrate t= he . . . dang, it went bad already [fark.com/comments/12942566](3D" Linked art= icle: nationaldaycalendar.com [toraque](3D" POLITICS Liz Truss has a book coming out about her time as Prime Minister. Perh= aps a pamphlet would be more appropriate [fark.com/comments/12987196](3D" Lin= ked article: [apnews.com](3D"=) [Meatsim1](3D")= LYRICS / SONG REFERENCES MAIN 🎶 SomeBODY once told me / He was antivax and Nazi / And h= is brain was swelling up inside his head🎶 He gave = a crowd the finger / Now Smash Mouth's front-man singer / Steve Harwell, at= fifty-six is dead🎶 [fark.com/comments/12980630](3D" Linked article:&= nbsp;[cbsnews.com](3D"=) [orbitalfreak](3D")= ng> SPORTS Kyrie escapes again down the road t= hat he must travel [fark.com/comments/12741114](3D" Linked article: [sports.yahoo.com](3D") [Myk-House of El](3D"20of%2=)= STEM - New vaccine knocks mosquito borne viru= s chikungunya down, won't let it get up again, will never let you down, dri= nks a whisky drink, drinks a cider drink [fark.com/comments/13052096](3D" Lin= ked article: [cnn.com](3D"=) [Tax Boy](3D"20Boy?f=3DFb7k_OH8zZgm=) FANDOM Conjunction junction he no longer functions [fark.com/comments/12668442=](3D") Linked article: [nexttv.com](3D=) [grimlock1972](3D") = ENTERTAINMENT Axl Rose fell onstage, blames his b= ad sha na na na na na na na na knees, knees [fark.com/comments/12912740](3D" Linked article: [nme.com](3D"https:=) [The E= nglish Major](3D") D'AWWW While I nodde= d, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping / It was a raven, malnouri= shed and injured sore / So I protected him and fed him / Back to health I l= ed him/ And I told him he could fly free once more / But quoth the Raven: "= Nevermore" [fark.com/comments/12940306](3D"=) Linked article: [laughingsquid.com](3D") [S= ensei Can You See](3D") FOOD Domo ariga= to, it's fake risotto [fark.com/comments/12985064](3D" Linked article: [lifehacker.com= a> [jbc](3D"=)= > POLITICS At first McCarthy was afraid, he wa= s petrified. Kept thinking he could never live without Gaetz by his side. B= ut then he spent so many nights thinking how he did him wrong and he grew s= trong, and he learned how to get along](3D")[fark.com/comments/13009568](3D" Linked= article: [cbsnews.com](3D"=) [AstroJesus](3D" and FANDOM special mention for the Rick Roll: New Horizon: F= orbidden West update is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you drown,= never gonna float around and submerge you [fark.com/comments/12827656](3D" Li= nked article: [kotaku.com](3D"https://k=) [ox45tallboy](3D" DAR= K MAIN Amorphous, decaying se= aweed blob reaches Florida coastlines; residents eager to vote for it= ng> [fark.com/= comments/12842088](3D"=) Linked article: [= cnn.com](3D") [wiredroach](3D"https=) DISCUSSION Jehovah's = Witnesses are no longer required to report the time they spend proselytizin= g to their home church, which means that the next ones who knock on your do= or are basically just doing it to be assholes [fark.com/comments/13065744](3D" Linked article: [apnews.com](3D"https:=)= [Pocket= Ninja](3D"=) SPORTS 10 MLB umps retirin= g this year. MLB asked Angel Hernandez to retire as well, but he missed the= call [fark.com/comments/12697966](3D"https=) Linked article: [es= pn.com](3D") [WrongTrousers](3D"https:=) BUSINESS Philip = Morris to sell off healthcare division, presumably because it conflicts wit= h their core business model [fark.com/comments/12998046](3D" Linked article:&= nbsp;[cnbc.com](3D") [wetrat](3D" STEM = It's World Math Day. My son taught me algebra today. I guess p= eople really CAN learn from their mistakes [fark.com/comments/12797108](3D" Li= nked article: [nationa= ltoday.com](3D"https://n=) [kdawg7736](3D"ht=) ENTERTAINMENT SAG st= ands behind Alec {NAME}, as standing in front of him can be dangerous= ong> [fark.com= /comments/12723734](3D"=) Linked article: [mediaite.com](3D") [Thoreny](3D" FANDOM= Baldur's Gate 3 speedrunners compete to see who can have s= ex the fastest, which could be quite the challenge due to being speedrunner= s [fa= rk.com/comments/12959942](3D"https://w=) Linked article: [metro.co.uk](3D") [Optronami](3D") D'AWWW Teacher welcomes little bastards to kinderga= rten for 41st straight year [fark.com/comments/12962826](3D" Linked article:&= nbsp;[wowt.com](3D") [AirForceVet](3D") = FOOD 12 Ukrainian recipes that will have everyone = invading your dinner table [fark.com/comments/12676883](3D" Linked article:&= nbsp;[valyastasteofhome.com](3D"=) [Klippoklondike](3D" FOOD Special ment= ion - Listen to the mandoline slice. Watch it make the sando loo= k so nice. Listen to my hand bleed every time I look away. Listen to the ap= ple chips. Dried out steak sliced thin. Listen to the tears roll down my fa= ce as I bleed some more [fark.com/comments/12836174](3D" Linked article: = [lifehacker.com](3D") [jbc](3D" POLITICS JD Van= ce: Ohio's abortion vote 'was a gut punch' Which coincidentally is also the= only abortion option left for women in red states [fark.com/comments/13050154= a> Linked article:](3D")[thehill.com](3D"h=) [gopats](3D" CONTEXT= g> MAIN Woman attempts to feed bear, s= ucceeds [fark.com/comments/12935076](3D"htt=) Linked article: [us= atoday.com](3D") [kdawg7736](3D"ht=) DISCUSSION The free = market: giving consumers what they want since never [fark.com/comments/12771554 Linked article:](3D")[youtube.co= m](3D"=) [elaw](3D"=) SPORTS New York Jet crashes on 9/11= strong> [fark.= com/comments/12988598](3D".=) Linked article: [espn.com](3D") [NeoCortex42](3D" BUSINESS = HEADLINE fark.com/comments/13064524 Linked article: [winning-homebrew.com](3D") = [vudukungfu](3D"=)= STEM 1 + 1 =3D fark this, I'll be a = stripper [fark.com/comments/12903378](3D"ht=) Linked article: [sciencealert.com](3D") no1curr ENTERTAINMENT Sh= aft goes limp [fark.com/comments/13033770](=3D" Linked article: [hollywoodreporter.com](3D") [zekeburger](3D" FANDOM= In lieu of flowers, please make a donation of three sheep = and a wood to a local charity [fark.com/comments/12810790](3D" Linked article:= [gizmodo.com](3D") [NeoCortex42](3D" D'AWWW = Tasmanian woman finds driveway blocked by impenetrable seal= rong> [fark.co= m/comments/13055278](3D"=) Linked article: [theguardian.com](3D") [Squid_for_Brains](3D" F= OOD Necrocobblercon [fark.com/comments/12717622](3D" Linked ar= ticle: twitter.com Foolkiller POLITICS = Pope takes bishop fark.com/comments/13052378 Linked article: [new= s.yahoo.com](3D") [ParallelUniverseParking](3D"h=) WORDPLAY= trong> MAIN Kickboxer Andrew Tate: Own= er of 33 high-end automobiles. Teenager Greta Thunberg: Owner of one kickbo= xer [= fark.com/comments/12696220](3D"https:/=) Linked article: [sports.= yahoo.com](3D") [SurfaceTension](3D"htt=) DISCUSSION = Bottle of 'most-sought after Scotch whisky' to come under the hammer at Sot= heby's in London in November. Which probably doesn't help the value when yo= u think about it fark.com/comments/13027954 Linked article: [abcnews.go.com](3D")[elvisaint= dead](3D"=) SPORTS US Open will allow wo= men to play with men's balls [fark.com/comments/12964290](3D" Linked article:&= nbsp;[espn.com](3D") [MyrtleT](3D" BUSINESS Sucky blow jobs have investors choking on Siemens [fark.com/comments/12= 950016](3D") Linked article: cnbc.com [elvisaintdead](3D"ht=) STEM Forget what = you know about Alzheimer's [fark.com/comments/12678387](3D" Linked article:&= nbsp;[quantamagazine.org](3D"=) [Thoreny](3D") ENTERTAINMENT Mad magazine legend Al Jaffee folds in = at age 102 [fark.com/comments/12817944](3D"=) Linked article: comicbook.com= [gunga= galunga](3D"=) FANDOM Did a gaming syst= em lose its position as best-selling console in France? Wii [fark.com/comments/1= 2720634](3D") Linked article: [gamerant.com](3D") [Dr.Fey](3D" = D'AWWW Gambling dogs found at casino ready for adoption. No= t so good at roulette but trained for craps outside [fark.com/comments/12961864 Linked article:](3D")[ktla.com](3D"=) [maxandgrinch](3D" FOOD Canada is set to approve potato milk. How they m= anaged to find the nipples on those things, I dunno [fark.com/comments/12894146 Linked article:](3D")[potatonewstoday.com](3D"=) [toraque](3D" POLITICS = McCarthy's speakership aborted in its third trimester [fark.com/comments/1301156= 8](3D") Linked article: [me= diaite.com](=3D") [HighOnCraic](3D"ht=) PUNS MA= IN Officials at O'Hare International Airport confiscate 15 = pounds of raw goat organs. That's just offal [fark.com/comments/13026922](3D" Linked article: kansascity.com [Joelogon](3D" DISCUSSION = What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato. This is your= Bad Joke Thursday thread, where Subby used to run a dating service for chi= ckens, but he was struggling to make hens meet [fark.com/comments/13050048](3D" article: [countryliving.com](3D"https=) [kdawg7736](3D") = BUSINESS Cock grouses about blue birds, egrets no= thing from heron out. *Ducks* [fark.com/comments/12980064](3D" Linked article:= [nypost.com](3D") [Firm Tautology=](3D") FANDOM Happy National Dolphin Da= y *cetacean provided [fark.com/comments/12822570](3D" Linked article: nat= ionaldaycalendar.com [elvisaintdead](=3D" D'AWWW All but three U.S. states have a state fish. Here they are. If you come up= with a good fish pun, let minnow [fark.com/comments/12865726](3D" Linked arti= cle: [msn.com](3D"=) [kdawg7736](3D" FOOD Orange you worried about this citrus virus? You'd better get juiced to = it and not get pithed, because this could be the best of limes and the wors= t of limes. So squeeze the day [fark.com/comments/12757342](3D" Linked artic= le: [foodandwin= e.com](3D"=) [testosteronephobe](3D"https:/=) VISUAL / SPELLED vs SPOKEN = trong> MAIN Conventional wisdom ignore= d as water-dropping aircraft are brought in to try to put out Greece fires [fark= .com/comments/12932742](3D"=) Linked article: [theguardian.com](3D") [bearded clamorer](3D"20clamorer?f=3DFb7k_OH8=) D= ISCUSSION Well, there could be several reasons. Maybe they = find genuine pleasure in composing long messages, exploring subjects in-dep= th, and consistently prioritize substance over brevity. Perhaps, they prefe= r authentic and profound text exchanges that resona [fark.com/comments/12980400 Linked article:](3D")[huffpost.com](3D"=) [Optronami](3D") = SPORTS March Madness has its first major upset. T= hat's one small step Furman, one giant leap Furmankind [fark.com/comments/127897= 58](3D") Linked article: [cbssports.com](=3D") [Super Chronic](3D")= rong> BUSINESS World's oldest Hebrew Bible cou= ld sell at auction for $50 million, become most expensive historical docume= nt ever sold. I've heard of propheteering but this is ridiculous [fark.com/comme= nts/12759368](3D") Linked article: [chris= tianpost.com](3D") [Sawdust and Mildew](3D"=) STEM How dinosaurs fought. Don't fight one yourself, you'll just get ju= rasskicked [fark.com/comments/12720598](3D"=) Linked article: [smithsonianmag.com](3D") [Dr.Fey](3D" ENTERT= AINMENT In the market for lingerie and perfume? Dude, you'r= e getting Adele fark.com/comments/12685980 Linked article: [mirror.co.uk](3D") [Two Dogs Farking](3D"20Dogs%20Farking?f=3DFb7k_OH8zZg=) FAND= OM KIϟϟ cancelϟ ϟhow due to "logiϟ= ticϟ," becauϟe 50 yearϟ iϟn't enough time to ϟolve= how to ϟchedule tourϟ [fark.com/comments/12865594](3D" Linked artic= le: [loudwire.com](3D"=) Sawdust and Mildew D'AWW= W Car wash workers have Groundhog Day [fark.com/comments/1300237= 0](3D") Linked article: [ca.sports.ya= hoo.com](=3D") [Two Dogs Farking](3D"https=) Car wash workers have Groundhog D= ay [f= ark.com/comments/13002372](3D"https://=) Linked article: [nbc15.com](3D") [Two Dogs Farking](3D"20Dogs%20Farking?f=3D=) Car was= h workers have Groundhog Day [fark.com/comments/13002374](3D" Linked arti= cle: [upi.com](3D"=) [Two Dogs Farking](3D"20Dogs%20F=)= ong> FOOD Cup Noodles admits environmental pho= cup, updates to paper cup in 2024 [fark.com/comments/13036142](3D" Linked art= icle: [ktla.com](3D") [maxandgrinch](3D" POLITICS Mitch McConnell: "I'm going to fin [fark.com/comments/12983270](3D" Linked article: [cnbc.com](3D"https:=)= [wiredroac= h](3D"=) POP CULTURE MAIN Michael Jackson shoots Uber driver who then crashes into a Tree-= hee [= fark.com/comments/12997056](3D"https:/=) Linked article: [denver7.com](3D") [XtremeLeeWyte](3D") DISCUSSION What's more patriotic than the fourth= of July? The half of July. It is your Bad Joke Thursday thread, where a sn= owman in July is called a puddle [fark.com/comments/12915492](3D" Linked artic= le: [= littledayout.com](3D"=) [kdawg7736](=3D" SPORTS Lovie f= ired as head coach of Texans. Thurston is going to be really angry= [fark.com/com= ments/12709148](3D"=) Linked article: [sports.yahoo.com](3D") [maxandgrinch](3D" BUSINESS Trading in shares of First Republic Bank halted after losing = 80%. I for one, blame Rebel Alliance Bank [fark.com/comments/12785478](3D" Lin= ked article: [msn.com](3D"=) [NewportBarGuy](3D" S= TEM 60 years ago, the beginnings of the Internet were creat= ed. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a = bad move [fark.com/comments/12908560](3D"ht=) Linked article: [theregister.com](3D")[zehnra](3D".=)= ong> D'AWWW Family of coyotes waits for latest= ACME catalog in driveway [fark.com/comments/12887398](3D" Linked article:&nbs= p;[ktla.com](3D") [maxandgrinch](3D" FOOD Cooking popcorn using only infrared? What are you? Some sort of Real Gen= ius? [fark.com/comments/12696030](3D"https:=) Linked article: [arstechnica.com](3D") [Tax Boy](3D"20Boy?f=3D=) PO= LITICS Biden: Tell Tuberville. I want him to know it was me= [far= k.com/comments/12943034](3D"=) Linked article: [cnn.com](3D") [FlashHarry](3D"=)= > FARK / SELF REFERENTIAL D= ISCUSSION "I found your TotalFark account" [fark.com/comments/12= 881738](3D") Linked article: huffingt= onpost.co.uk [ParallelUniverseParking](3D"=) SPORTS= Ultramarathon runner banned for using an illegal substance= . Fark: a car [fark.com/comments/12827768](=3D" Linked article: [dailymail.co.uk](3D") [The Third= Man](3D") BUSINESS Youtube CEO Susan W= ojcicki steps down after nine-- *Headline will play after ad* = [fark.com/comments= /12757144](3D") Linked article: [cbc.ca](3D") [MissedThePoint](3D" STEM - HOTY winner! Why is technology not making us= more productive? Find out here on Fark [fark.com/comments/12934972](3D" Linked art= icle: [bbc.co.uk](3D"=)= > [1000Monk= eys](3D"=) STEM Special mentions: The st= ory of Tetris, by the guy who wrote the PC version? Sure, Subby will fit th= at into the subission queue between...uh...wait next time...drop it here...= no wait left left turn it between those links...the submissions are speedin= g up?? [fark.com/comments/12756830](3D"http=) Linked article: [vadim.oversigma.com](3D" [Bennie Crabtree](3D"20C=) = Global warming-induced sea level changes could increase earthquake risk= which could lead to greater kaiju infestation which would ultimately be a = boon to the global construction industry and why isn't this on the business= tab, then? [fark.com/comments/13050306](3D=) Linked article: [phys.org=](3D") [elv= isaintdead](3D".=) FANDOM Tearing up, sad= news, very doge fark.com/comments/12963784 Linked article: [th= e-sun.com](3D") [= covfefe](3D"htt=) D'AWWW Sacramento Zoo nam= es baby giraffe "Mike Pence Loves My Spotted Dick", or at least they will i= f Subby wins a raffle. (Other good ideas to the right) [fark.com/comments/127501= 98](3D") Linked article: [abc7.com](=3D" [COVID19](3D") FOOD Celeb chef James Martin calls for a ban on marg= arine. You submitted this with a butter headline [fark.com/comments/12854262](3D")= > Linked article: [timesofindia.in= diatimes.com](3D"ht=) [Sinister Urge](3D"=) FOOD special mention:Why we all favor curry (and vice versa) [fark.com/comments/12810506](3D")= > Linked article: [bbc.com](3D"ht=) [elvisaintdead](3D")= --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1706131387-28107-15788--