Fark NotNewsletter: Back to the Primaries With Ye

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1706126661-58370-15797 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [http= s://fark.com/13129780](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone hope your week's b= een well. I wouldn't have expe= cted January to be so weird. Especially during a Presidential electio= n year, usually all the media bandwidth is eaten up by election news. = I can only conclude that people are actually being weirder than usual.&nbs= p; And not just in Florida - we've had a rash of Oklahoma stories lately fo= r whatever reason. Maybe they're all stir crazy waiting for tornado s= eason to start. Thursday 4pm e= astern it's [the Fark News Livestream](3D"=), with ever= yone back! Dill had a late scratch last week and Christine's got some= thing called a Real Job that keeps interfering with her schedule but barrin= g unforeseen whatevers, we'll have everyone on board this week. Stori= es will probably include "will my cat eat me if I die?" (yes), David Lee Ro= th claiming aliens probed Sammy Hager a little too much, an asteroid the si= ze of two ducks, and multiple strategies to try to get British parrots to s= top swearing (I hope to have video/audio of this one for us). ___= _____________________ End Drew transmiss= ion ________________________ Top Interactions Some of the best interactio= ns from the past week. Do note: this takes priority over being plac= ed in "top comments." - In This Thread[: A discussion on the morality o= f credit.](3D" - In This Thread[: A discussion on why (or why not) to co= ntinue allowing right-on-reds.](3D" - In This Thread= >[: "What the heck is= a frunk?"](3D") - Rapmaster2000[and co. realized = this comedian predicted his own downfall.](3D") - bucket_pup and pup_socket[know how to warm up a battery in a= hurry.](3D" - In This Thread[: BOAT TRUCK](3D" Top Comments Some= of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week. If = your post isn't here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey coul= dn't think of a tagline. (The Smartest and [Funniest](=3D" for the past month are found elsewhere.) = Funny: - weddingsinger[All your sports a= re belong to us.](3D") - syrynxx[ah yes, a 'life h= ack.'](3D") - Walker[found the room Ceiling Cat was = in.](3D" - JasonOfOrillia[discovered the 2nd-worst= place in your house to put carpet in.](3D" - vilesithknight= ['s company kept seeing their stolen laptop on NBC shows.](3D"=) Smart: - Pinnacle Point[has a valid re= ason to abuse marijuana.](3D") - Trainspotr[believes= credit card usage isn't a game of "The Price is Right" - shows what they k= now! ;-)](3D") - IAmRight[spotted the barely-hidde= n eroticism of football.](3D" - Ragin' Asian[knows = how to landlord.](3D") - make me some tea[knows the = setting that fixes dead electric cars.](3D") - mongbiohazard[did their research. Props to them!](3D"=) - hubiestub= ert[cracked open their stash of Satan memes.](3D"=) - SpectroBoy[: "Nothing says luxury beach-side living like..."](3D"https://=)- Rapmaster2000[explained why it's a bad idea to ge= t a TP subscription. (Not TF, TP.)](3D" - Martian_Astronomer= [knows rule number one of having a doomsday bunker.](3D"=) - = Snarfangel[summarized how perverse incentives can ruin a p= roduct.](3D"h=) [Politics](3D"htt=) Politics Funny: - meehaw[hopes to god it's enemy (ally?) action and not stupidit= y.](3D"https://w=) - Burn_The_Plows[proposed using a bill to= ban itself.](3D" - markie_farkie[spotted a traum= atized machine.](3D") - Twilight Farkle[remembered a= more violent summary of The Wizard of Oz.](3D") Politics Smart: - somedude210[wonders when a politician will = explain how, yes, they're in a consenting polygamous relationship (instead = of it becoming a scandal)](3D" - propasaurus[wonder= s what the Green Party would even accomplish in office.](3D") - Nah'mean[has spotted an uptick in overly pretentious titles.](3D"https://=)= > - EvilEgg[found an upside to a date gone bad.](3D" > Monkey's Pick I felt these posts = were exceptionally funny or smart, even though they didn't get many votes.Warning: Unsorted, may contain politics. Funny: -&nb= sp;NeoCortex42[I hate that you're right, when talking abo= ut fandom questions.](=3D" - uberalice[hey guess wha= t variant of the "Boss makes a dollar, I get a dime" meme this is](3D") Smart: - bucket_pup[was saved by thei= r insurance.](3D") - Nirbo[suggests this adoption m= ight be a terrible grift.](3D" - Francois Zolan[won= ders how people smoke weed all day.](3D") - psychosis_inducin= g[has a way to get scientific articles for free - if you're will= ing to talk to someone.](3D"=) - Some Junkie Cosmonaut= >[knew someone who always made sure their doomsday stash wasn't expired.= a> - hammettman](3D")[solved for the amount of money tha= t'll end up returned.](3D" - yakmans_dad[remembers = a repository of old ad photos.](3D") [CSB](3D" Morning theme - "[How you finally realized you = were too old for something](3D")" This week, Farkers were challen= ged to share what events caused them to realize time had passed them by. [Funny](3D"): - Twowheelin= Tim[took a while to give up trick-or-treating.](3D"=) - [The w= orld ended up reminding](3D")Groupon boob job[of their age.=](3D") - SunflowerKitten[was banned from Chuck-E-Che= ese.](3D" - Tr0mBoNe[was somehow both too old and t= oo young for a model train show.](3D" [Smar= t](3D"): - neofonz[stopped recognizing Grammy a= rtists.](3D" - chewd[was shown a photo of David Let= terman.](3D" - vudukungfu[found his old motorcycle= , but realized he couldn't afford to fall.](3D" - edmo= ng>[stopped being able to see age.](3D") Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted [contest](3D" entries from last wee= k. As always, everybody gets one - and they're sorted by how likely they ar= e to still be open. [Photoshops](3D" - Herb Utsm= elz[built their skiing son a shed.](3D"=) - I_Am_Weas= el[recycled their giant post-it pad.](3D".=) - RedZon= eTuba[had to salvage radioactive materials to continue the war on = the sea.](3D"=) - opalakea[committed owlcrash.](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector[saw someone out walking = their pet emu. Is it theirs? Who knows!](3D" - Lord_Baull= trong>[forged an alliance between the Knights who say "Ni!" and the Knights= of the Coral.](3D") - Thrakkorzog[welcomes you to= their Tardis.](3D") - fisker[polished their guitar= enough to see their house.](3D" - EvaDewer[visited= Omega Mart.](3D") - Mr. Shabooboo[had to give bac= k their hat when they were promoted.](3D") - Dodo David= ng>[inverted the "pink elephant" joke.](3D") - Octafrye= ng>[watched over the TP.](3D") - damat01[was trapped= in a workout with Wonder Woman and Superman.](3D") - Terrapi= n Bound[lives in a house of animals.](3D".=) - Driver[started a political campaign.](3D"=) - wxboy= [delivered a snowbomb.](3D") - DorkusThe2nd[added = a copilot.](3D") - kabloink[visited Howl's Moving Ca= stle.](3D" - Hassan Ben Sobr[drew up an old-world = map.](3D" - TrollingForColumbine[was stuck combing= the desert while their friends went racing.](3D") - west.la.= lawyer[did the one thing you're not supposed to do with giant grap= efruit.](3D"=) [Captions](3D"=): ["Caption this walk to the car"](3D" SonOfSpam [felt the flood.](=3D" - Heamer= rong>['s babysitter practiced "Thriller" and child neglect simultaneously.= a>](3D")["Caption these scientists collecting samples"](3D".=) - = RedZoneTuba [realized what their future holds.](3D"https:/=) - spa= ceman375 [fixed the bong with a little (a lot) of duct tape. I hope= it holds.](3D"=) ["Caption this kaffeeklatsch"](3D"https=) - RedZon= eTuba [was mistaken for a famous painting.](3D"=) - stevenb= oof [wonders what that word even means.](3D"=) ["Caption this p= erformer at a cattle-call audition"](3D") - Mojongo [spott= ed a proto-Siegfried and Roy duo.](3D") (That's... a 5-way tie for 2nd. I = know I said I was going to continue if the last post(s) are tied, but I'm n= ot posting all of those.) "Caption this nefarious criminal"- RedZoneTuba talked up the incognito mode. - kdawg7736[: "See kids, being a cybercriminal can be sexy."](3D"https=)= - bughunter made their Omegle profile even more anonym= ous. [Farktography theme](=3D" "[Drink Up](3D")" T= his week, Farkers were challenged to photograph their favorite beverages.- skybird659[has some Anheuser Busch water - the st= uff they donate for disaster relief.](3D" - Lovesandwich= rong>[framed their champagne well.](3D") - inelegy[h= ad straight absinthe under a blue light.](3D") - Elsinore= rong>[got a drink with the wrong name written on it.](3D") - = gorrck[CANNED BEER!](3D"=) - DorrisLessingCat= >[had an outside drink.](3D") [Upcoming Fark Partie= s](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you're effectively= saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, come hang out." [Submit = one!](3D" [Monday, April 8, 202= 4, Total eclipse of the Sun Fark Party at Noon. Buffalo Small Boat Harbor= a>](3D") Fark Headlines o= f the Week A selection of some of the top headlines from last= week. [Gov. MeeMaw of Alabama is afraid of upcoming snow. I do= n't know why, it's white](3D"=) [Concentration camp operating openly in Texas](3D") [Four dead= in Eloy balloon crash. Morlock drone suspected](3D") [Presumabl= y inspired by the Killdozer, man plays with Lightlydamagebobcat](3D") Fark Weird News Quiz (= brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on= the Quiz last week, where we learned that private corporations are under n= o obligation to upgrade their infrastructure when it could impact quar= terly earnings statements. On the Quiz itself, Denjiro cam= e out on top with a score of 942, followed by jaycharms= g> in second with 937 and HighwayBill in third with 9= 06. jbc made fourth with 904. and runwiz= ong> made it into the top five with 902. The hardest question= on last week's Hard Quiz was about which restaurant chain is offering free= chicken wings if an NFL team with wings in its logo or mascot wins the Sup= erb Owl. Only 27% of quiztakers heard about the promo from Popeyes Louisian= a Kitchen, who you might not know actually does have buffalo wings on the m= enu, having added them permanently in November of last year. With the loss = by the Bills last weekend, the Ravens are the only team with wings left in = the running, so if you're into free food, root for Baltimore. The e= asiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what previously illicit = drug those hippies in Oregon have legalized and are now handing out state l= icenses to "facilitators" who will guide people through its use. 87% of qui= ztakers knew that psilocybin mushrooms were the next big thing the tech bro= s will be all over now that ayahuasca has been overplayed, I can only imagi= ne the line of Gen Xers growing beards and dying their bathrobes purple to = get in on babysitting 30-year-old crypto millionaires tripping their socks = off for $300/hr. The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was = about which animated series Hugo-award winner J. Michael Straczynski (= Babylon 5, Thor) wrote for in the 80s. Only 54% of quiztakers knew that&nbs= p;Dave Coulier, Arsenio Hall, and Frank Welker all did voices for "The Real= Ghostbusters", and now you're imagining Uncle Joey in a Ghostbusters unifo= rm while Winston Zedmore is raising his fist in the air yelling "Whoop! Who= op!" and I've now totally confused your childhood. The easies= t question on last week's Easy Quiz was about TV actress Joyce Randolph, wh= o passed away last week at the age of 99. 89% of quiztakers knew she played= Trixie Norton on "The Honeymooners", the groundbreaking sitcom that s= howed a less-than-ideal life of working-class people. Unfortunately, the po= pularity of the show (even though it only aired for one season) resulted in= her being typecast and directors declining to work with her because they d= idn't think audiences would find her believable in any other role. = If you missed out last week, now is a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D" now= that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winn= ers, and we'll be doing it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1706126661-58370-15797--