Fark NotNewsletter: New year, same as the old year

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1704322961-26246-16454 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [http= s://fark.com/13106998](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone hope your we= ek's been well. Today's the la= st day for voting for [Headline of the Year](3D"https:=) - and the collective subbies need your votes!&nbs= p; There are some pretty outstanding gems on the ballot. We plan to c= lose voting midnight pacific time tonight. After which we'll rush to = tally the votes and compile the winners by the time we do the [Fark News Livestream](3D") Thursday at 4pm ET. Speaking of the [Fark New= s Livestream](3D"), everyone's back from break and we're planning to do some = news as well. I've got about a dozen stories so weird that I literall= y can't even describe them for fear of them getting caught in workplace NSF= W content filters. It's been a super wild couple of weeks. Hold= onto your butts! ________________________ End Drew transmission ________________________ Top Interactions S= ome of the best interactions from the past week. Do note: this take= s priority over being placed in "top comments." - Farkers in [This Thread= g>](3D") know how weird the Internet used to be, and where to find it still. = . - Farkers in [T= his Thread](3D"=) swapped shark-themed Haikus. - gunt= her_bumpass & Devolving_Spud [attempted to sta= rt a pun train. Too bad people weren't paying attention.](3D") - Fark= ers in [This = Thread](3D") discussed the Geneva Convention, and how it's applied t= o the War in Ukraine. - raerae1980 and co. discussed [el= der care](3D"). - JustinCase and co. [discussed who the = first white guy to become a successful rapper was.](3D") Top Comments Some of the top-vot= ed smartest and funniest comments from the past week. If your post isn't= here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey couldn't think of a= tagline. (The [S= martest](3D"=) and [Fun= niest](3D".=) for the past month are found elsewhere.) Funny:- Moose out front[spotted the creativity of the Fa= rk Auto-Tagger.](3D" - Warthog[found a photo of Osa= ma Bin Golden Corral.](3D" - WelldeadLink[wonders w= hy it took us this long to find the Big Lebowski reference.](3D") - Therion[found the 'real' Shroud of Turin in the Vatican gif= t shop.](3D"https=) - edmo[knows why aliens are into probi= ng.](3D" - MontanaDave[: "Twitter, the platform desp= erately trying to be known as X."](3D" Smart: - gonegirl[shared what it was like to be let loose on the inter= net in the distant past (and today).](3D"https:=) - kbronsito= g>[realized racist actions are screwing over a wrongful death case.](3D") = - WickerNipple[noted how it's possible for hospitals = to bankrupt entire towns.](3D" - Klyukva[gave us so= me background info on why this hospital didn't pay taxes - they can't!](3D")- macadamnut[unearthed a political poster from 7 y= ears ago that is eerily relevant today.](3D" - NM Volunteer[located an epic search engine fail.](3D"=) - SBinRR= strong>[shared an interesting shaving fact.](3D") - Petite Mel= rong>[highlighted the cultural impact of the Smothers Brothers.](3D") -&nb= sp;EdgeRunner[has suggestions for Marvel.](=3D" [Politics= trong>](3D") Politics Funny: - Snarfangel= >[reimagined Kokomo.](3D") - Mr. Coffee Nerves[wond= ered what lengths Eric Trump will go for parental approval](3D"). Politics Smart: - dickrickulous[wonders if T= FG has more than death threats.](3D") - The Reverend Sam Hill= [wonders why people in Idaho make so little.](3D"=) - Mr. Coffee Nerves[explained jail in a way that might make it attr= active to TFG.](3D"h=) - Lsherm[experienced why it's = better to focus on your jobs rather than make a statement about world event= s.](3D" - hugram[suggested how Nikki Haley could've= added politics to her statement to make it less offensive and more confusi= ng.](3D" - Richard Freckle[has escaped two cults so= far. Hope they don't have to escape a third.](3D" - Magorn[spotted the reason you don't shut off the electricity when you rel= y on electronic locks.](3D"=) - Gyrfalcon[has another= guess as to why Pizza Hut is cutting drivers.](3D") - Basket= of Deplorables[was caught up in an impromptu dance party in 2020.=](3D"http=) Monkey's Pick I felt these pos= ts were exceptionally funny or smart, even though they didn't get many vote= s. Warning: Unsorted, may contain politics. Funny: -= Steakzilla: "Is he really a marine? I'm starting to = doubt it." Smart: - DarnoKonrad= g>[explained why the UK's voting system needs reworking too.](3D") - = Rent Party[discovered that there was only one successful a= ssassination of a Nazi high command official. Guess which country?](3D"h=) -= FormlessOnenoticed journalists being tired of bul= lshiat. CSB Sunday Morning theme - "= g>[That one time on New Year's Eve](3D")"= This week, Farkers were challenged to share stories from New Y= ear's Eve. [Funny](3D"=): - The Pope of Manwich Villa= ge[rediscovered an old Y2K sticker.](3D".=) - Exhume = me for National Pop Goes the Weasel Day[stole yo girl, and she d= idn't even remember it.](3D" - Groupon boob job[was= treated to what strict people look like when letting loose.](3D") - BrerRobot[needed to not be watched.](3D"https:/=) [Smart](3D"):= - hubiestubert[: "Today, I still think that I earn= ed that drink." (For saving a life.)](3D" - Rent Party= ng>[didn't starve to death.](3D") - Groupon boob job= [took advantage of a sale.](3D") - farkmedown[was = forced to miss a party for no good reason.](3D") Top Contest Entries Some of the top-vote= d [contest](3D") entries from la= st week. As always, everybody gets one - and they're sorted by how likely t= hey are to still be open. [Photoshops](3D" - Ev= aDewer[went back in time to replace Dr. Evil with a bird.](3D"=) -= Octafrye[snuck someone into the Breakfast Club.](=3D" - I_Am_Weasel[wonders why anyone would put themse= lves in the trash.](3D" - Thoaar[snuck aboard the = ship(s) orbiting the black hole.](3D") - Driver[made= the world's largest bowl of popcorn.](3D") - RedZoneTuba= rong>[released a second bird to harass TFG.](3D") - Hassan Be= n Sobr[wore the wrong color suit to work.](3D"=) - fi= sker[has the BEST view of the Death Star.](3D"=) - Ya= mmering_Splat_Vector[encountered the penny that doubles in size ev= ery day.](3D=) - west.la.lawyer[hooked up Mr. Potato= Head.](3D" - pup.socket[turned the Jedi Academy = into a public school.](3D" - MrHormel[found the Cha= rmin bear's heaven.](3D") - Petite Mel[almost couldn= 't tell the head from the trees.](3D") - Stephen_Falken= ng>[knows there must always be a Lich President.](3D") - Terr= apin Bound[consulted the Crystal Ball for advice on being owned by= cats.](3D"https://w=) - retrophil[has the perfect blocker for= Cornhole(-io)](3D" - Dodo David[found a wrong pho= to in a Powerpoint template.](3D") - Herb Utsmelz[wa= s punished for their sins.](3D") - Nojimbo[discovere= d the hidden dogs.](3D") - Driver[found a Charlie B= rown Christmas tree.](3D") - Thrakkorzog[regathered = the crew of a crashed Imperial Star Destroyer.](3D") [Captions](3D" had a Captions contest greened today - look for the results next week= , and feel free to [submit more.=](3D"https://w=) [Farktography theme](3D"https:/=): "[Hygge 2](3D" This week, Far= kers were challenged to show us the places, things, or activities that brin= g them a sense of hygge. (Today I learned: "Hygge" is a Danish word that= describes a feeling of coziness, comfort, and contentment.) - MorningBreath[appreciates matching PJs.](3D"ht=) - = Lovesandwich[loves undercover dogs.](3D"https:/=) - gordian[knows when it's time for bed.](3D"=) - Joxertheflight= y[watched their cats nap.](3D"=) [Upcoming Fark= Parties](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you're effe= ctively saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, come hang out." [= Submit one!](3D" [Monday, A= pril 8, 2024, Total eclipse of the Sun Fark Party at Noon. Buffalo Small Bo= at Harbor](3D") Fark = Headlines of the Week A selection of some of the top headline= s from last week. [Trump's campaign in Maine may be in vain](3D"ht=)= ["Did the splits near a s= crewdriver." "Accidentally sat on cone-shaped toy." "Was 'trying to be funn= y.'" Yep, it's that time of year again](3D"=) ["Teen's death in sa= wmill highlights '21st century problem' across U.S." Really? 'cause that fe= els more like a "19th century problem" we already solved once](3D") Ride share drivers stop service and chant 'Leave them stranded' at Atla= nta International airport. If only there was some preexisting on-demand ser= vice for transporting passengers from an airport [= Shots fired at Nakatomi Plaza in LA. I would post a better link but my flig= ht has been circling for ages now and the wifi is expensive](3D") [Best to consult a professiona= l when your Regina is feeling a burning sensation](3D") [Man accu= sed of shooting half brother charged with whole murder](3D") [The Fall of the Couch of Usher](3D") = Fark Weird News Quiz (br= ought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on t= he Quiz last week, where we learned that the idea that people other than ri= ch white men participating in democracy is a rather novel one. On the Quiz = itself, edmo came out on top with a score of 1016. followe= d by SoundOfOneHandWanking in second with 1010 and&nb= sp;DMJ1 in third with 1001. MinorThreat1= ong> made fourth with 916, and Donald Terwiligar Spamme= g> made it into the top five with 896. The hardest question on last= week's Hard Quiz was about which decision Elmo made soon after t= aking over Twitter that is now getting him sued by current and former emplo= yees, Only 29% of quiztakers knew that he had stooped to the lowest of the = low and cut out Christmas bonuses in 2022. If that isn't the biggest bag ov= er the head, punch in the face... that made more than one person want to te= ll him what a cheap, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-lickin= g, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, = brainless, d^ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, = spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey sh^t he is! The easiest q= uestion on last week's Hard Quiz was about LaGrange points. 88% of quiztake= rs knew that Italian-French mathematician and astronomer Joseph-Louis = Lagrange published a paper in 1772 called "Essay on the Three-Body Problem"= that described five specific points in an orbit where a third object in sp= ace could maintain a stable position relative to two primary gravitati= onal sources. The most well-known use of a LaGrange point today is the orbi= t of the James Webb Space Telescope, which doesn't orbit the Earth but orbi= ts the sun outside of Earth's orbit, about four times farther from the Eart= h than the moon. The hardest question on last week's Easy Qui= z was about the definition of "humbug". Only 29% of quiztakers knew that it= meant "A hoax, a jesting or befooling trick," Ebenezer Scrooge thought it = was a trick played on serious businessmen such as himself to give= employees like Bob Cratchett an entire day paid to do nothing, and seeming= ly obligate him to donate to charities. It wasn't that he saw Christmas as = insignificant, it was that he saw it as a joke at his own expense. = The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which streaming ser= vice was going to start showing ads if you didn't pay them a subscription f= ee on top of the subscription fee you were already paying them. 87% of quiz= takers knew that we'll be getting commercial interruptions in the middle of= Season 4 of "The Boys" on Amazon Prime. I guess you could look at it as a = meta commentary of the commercialization of superheroes, but it already is = that, so maybe we can believe that the actors and writers will be seeing th= at money in the form of their newly negotiated residuals. If you mi= ssed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D" now that you = know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and w= e'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1704322961-26246-16454--