Fark NotNewsletter: Tesla issues total recall - can Kuato be far behind?

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1702507424-816-686 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [http= s://fark.com/13086562](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone hope your we= ek's been well. Thanks to ever= yone who tuned in to Saturday night's [Xmas R= abbit Hole livestream](3D"). Started slow, ramped strong, then it went = weird. But that's par for the course. This Thursday (4 PM EST) = its another[Fark News Livestream](3D"=) with me, Dill,= Christine, and probably Lucky depending on travel shenanigans. This = week we'll have an update on the potential war in Venezuela (if this doesn'= t sound familiar you're not alone), AI gone wild, and Santos is still out t= here making dumb news. Plus, a BG3 actress got banned from streaming for sa= ying a specific word, we'll be testing out that theory ourselves midstream.= Come join us! Last week= I asked for folks to suggest some 2024 predictions since in my spare time = I am a Time Traveler. I'm really a good guesser but turns out it's al= most the same thing. Here are my predictions for 2024. The economy: red hot, no recession. But yet... = My friend Kyla Scanlon invented the term = Vibecession to describe the current state of the economy. By nearly e= very measurement, we are not in and not trending towards a recession. = Yet it seems like so many people believe we are actually in a recession - = hence it's a Vibesession: not a recession but it feels like one. Not = only is inflation getting under control, but the greed that drove most of i= t is starting to reap consequences. Did you happen to catch last week= the story about Kraft suing all major US egg producers for price collusion= to drive up the price of eggs? They won. Do chicken next. = ; Then gasoline. And automobiles. Anyhow, I predict we'll be in a vibecession right up until the 20= 24 election with politicians stoking the flames of discontent, then conveni= ently memory-holing wrong early decisions. The Middl= e East and Ukraine Will stil= l be a mess. Easiest prediction ever. Climate 2024 will again be the hotte= st year on record. So hot that some anti-climate change folks are going to = start rethinking their positions when the oceans boil, all the roads melt, = and the Texas power grid fails on a daily basis. Thi= s business will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it: V= enezuela-Guyana An item that= mostly flew under the radar this week was Venezuelans voting in a referend= um to annex two-thirds of neighboring Guyana. This by itself is weird= enough, but when you also factor in the oil reserves that were recently di= scovered in that part Guyana, things could (and probably will) get dicey th= ere in 2024. As an additional complication, Venezuela claims that Guy= ana was illegally separated from it in the late 19th century in a case invo= lving plying an "impartial" Russian arbiter with booze and the US inexplica= bly changing its vote at the last minute (I'm assuming also booze-related).= The crux of the problem is, Guyana doesn't appear to be interested i= n being annexed. Anyhow good news, we are already running military "e= xercises" there and Brazil has mobilized troops on the border it shares wit= h Venezuela. I know this all sounds crazy so here's a mainstream arti= cle - CBSNews via Yahoo. [= oo.com/u-announces-military-drills-guyana-202312724.html](3D") AI OpenAI will achi= eve AGI (Artificial General Intelligence, AKA "True AI") If they have= n't already. It doesn't look to me like they have, not enough leaks c= oming out of there along those lines. But it's just a matter of time.= I also predict it will be achieved by AI agent clusters working toge= ther. My optimistic prediction= for AI is that it will remain a tool that requires human oversight and wil= l dramatically improve economic productivity across the board. My pes= simistic prediction is Skynet will kill us all. With predictions like these= I should go into weather forecasting. Fusion= g> 2024 will finally be the year that= fusion will start looking viable. Designing a working reactor however is a= nother thing entirely. Sportsball Duke sucks Entertainmen= t 2023 was defined by Superh= ero Fatigue, but in 2024 the major studios will realize that the real probl= em is making good movies - as always. The next Spiderverse movie will= crush iat at the box office, the next 2nd tier character Marvel movies wil= l not. Also George R. R. Martin will not publish his next book in 202= 4. Low hanging fruit, I know. New flavor sweep= ing the nation - tamarind I = mean, it's always something Florida Man = Florida Man gonna Florida, man.________________________ End Drew tran= smission ________________________ Top Interactions Some of the best interactions fro= m the past week. Do note: this takes priority over being placed in = "top comments." - Farkers in [This Thread](3D" discussed the upsides and= downsides to city/country living. - Farkers in [This Thread](3D" ended up di= scussing the quality of Hershey chocolate. Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest = and funniest comments from the past week. If your post isn't here, assum= e that NotNewsletterMonkey couldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D") = and [Funniest](3D") fo= r the past month are found elsewhere.) Funny: - Biscuit Tin[guest-starred in a Far Side cartoon.](3D"ht=) - = The Irresponsible Captainsuggested another reason for a misplaced McDonald= s. - peachpicker[recieved a firmware update fo= r their rooster.](3D" - Nick Nostril[was caught by = the hidden advertisement.](3D") - Mr. Coffee Nerves = predicted Xitter's new advertisers. - foo monkey= g>[y'know, like a cat.](3D") - Schmerd1948['s dream w= as killed. Murdered, I say!](3D") - Abe Vigoda's Ghost= g>[oh god it's hideous](3D") Smart: - New Ri= sing Sun[turned around this TikTok story.](3D"=) - heavymetal= trong>[knows what bad politics looks like.](3D") - Kat09tails= [doubts homeowners are willing to give up a lack of rent.](3D"=) -= Tyrosine[: "Many parents hold teachers to higher sta= ndards than they do themselves."](=3D" - Mugato[: "Ca= n't find the murder. Do you have to log in or something?"](3D") - Gyrfalcon[explained the mechanism of debt bondage.](3D"https=) [Politics= >](3D") Politics Funny: - maniacbastard[remembered this failure of a traffic-reducing performance.](3D"=) = - anjin-sanwonders if TFG will be the one shot on 5t= h Avenue. - hugram[doesn't expect any calls fr= om Melania on TFG's phone.](3D" - Telephone Sanitizer Second= Class[guessed at TFG's browser history.](3D"=) Politics = Smart: - PirateKing[has an optimistic interp= retation of presidents becoming immune to prosecution.](3D" - andrewagill[knows how long to expect the Supreme Court to take o= n a decision about immunity.](3D"https:=) - schnee[suggests= using Texas' abortion lawsuit rules against that very state.](3D") - = ;BizarreMan[: "Yes, they have "memories of the baby." But a= re those the memories one wants to have?"](3D"=) Monke= y's Pick I felt these posts were exceptionally funny or sma= rt, even though they didn't get many votes. Warning: Unsorted, may conta= in politics. Funny: - MikeyFuccon= [proposed a new political party.](3D") - Telephone Sanitize= r Second Class[: "You're going to have to pry my 3rd Amendment righ= ts from the cold dead hands of that soldier in my crawlspace."](3D"https=) = Smart: - Koodz[- nah, they're governing like they = never expect to be in power again.](3D" - R= ev.K[knows how to take a break when the news gets too much.](3D"=) - electricjebus[considered the definition of "snitching."](3D"h=)- WTP 2[explained why doctors aren't as worried wh= en you bring mouth-wires into an MRI.](=3D" - Extra Virgin Ge= ek Olive Oil[knows why some companies want to disrupt the military= .](3D"https:/=) CSB Sunday Morning theme - "[Holiday Shopping](3D")" This week, Farkers were challenged to = share their last-minute shopping sprees. [Funny](3D"): - GRCooper= trong>[ran through clouds of black smoke.](3D") - HeathenHeal= er[would prefer we kept discussion of gifts to the day before Chr= istmas Eve.](3D".=) - AgentKGB['s city has lights tha= t look like women's underwear, for some reason.](3D" - sinko= swimo[shared their favorite adult holiday tradition.](3D"=) = [Smart](3D"):= > - vudukungfu[knows exactly where everything they= receive will go.](3D" - AgentKGB['s oldest sister= 's handwriting impressed the old-fashioned folk.](3D") - edmo= [played catch with his airline, shipping a Christmas tree across t= he country.](3D"=) - knobmaker[had to solicit wrappi= ng paper from the local chicken place.](3D" Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted [contest](3D") entries from last= week. As always, everybody gets one - and they're sorted by how likely the= y are to still be open. [Photoshops](3D" A "[Photoshop Tennis](3D")" thread occurred this week! If you're confused, a "P= hotoshop Tennis" contest is where you build off of another Photoshopper's p= ost. It might still be open - check it out! - Dodo David= trong>[revealed this secret agent's identity.](3D") - EvaDewe= r[should look behind them. Now.](3D"=) - RedZoneTub= a[prepared Meatball Ron.](3D"=) - Yammering_Splat_V= ector[owns a fancy jellyfish hat.](3D"=) - Thoaar= rong>[watched a bird extort an elf.](3D") - asstamassta= ng>[couldn't quite restore this painting perfectly.](3D") - J= ames_Corn[reached beyond the boundaries of understanding... And wa= s met by an owl.](3D"=) - no icon tact[made a two-hea= ded moledog.](3D") - Petite Mel[moved Santa's worksh= op to a brewery.](3D" - tkil[surgically attached p= resents to these crotches.](3D" - X-Geek[reached th= e snow after everyone.](3D") - Terrapin Bound[perfor= med an airstrike on these fish.](3D") - Thrakkorzog = was denied by their mount. - Vortex Dweller[di= scovered a new constellation.](3D") - Stephen_Falken= [took this team on a rollercoaster ride.](3D") - I_Am_Wease= l[dares onlookers to identify this structure.](3D"=) - samsquatch[observed a freezing Porky.](3D"https=) - p5= 1d007[stole their parent's moustache.](3D"=) - Godscr= ack[was judged by the Owl.](3D"=) - TrollingForColumb= ine[added a better backrest to the Beverly Hillbillies' truck.](3D"=)= [Captions](3D"https:=): "Caption these tourists a= board a train" ([image](3D"https://=)) - FirstDennis [can't stop= looking at those giant hands.](3D") - RedZoneTuba [let it= rip in the observation car.](3D") "[Caption this judgy Brit](3D")" = ([image](3D")) - dionysusaur[translated a classic british= ism into catspeak.](3D" - Wookie Milson [explained this c= at's policy.](3D") "[Caption this study of a sample](3D"ht=)" ([im= age](3D")) - RedZoneTuba [tested the Jolly Green Giant's J= olly Green Poop.](3D" - Maturin [wonders how this docto= r's life got to this point.](3D" "[Caption this family game= night](3D")" ([image](3D"=)) - Snubnose [refuses to let any= one invert their "W"s.](3D") - Myk-House of El [was counti= ng on that fart.](3D") "[Caption these guys enjoy= ing their lunch](=3D")" ([image](3D"https:=)) - Porous Horance [remem= bered the bad old days.](3D") - bearded clamorer [issued a= gun to a panda.](3D") "[Caption these construction wo= rkers](=3D")" ([image](3D"=)) - Devolving_Spud[: "This wasn't t= he first or last time they had their hands on the same stud."](3D") - keldaria [wonders if these workers are qualified for this job. [Farktography theme](3D"htt=): "](3D"https:=)[Slanted](3D" This week= , Farkers were challenged to intentionally take photos without leveling the= ir camera. - Lovesandwich[visited the Space Needle= -turned Space Elevator.](3D" - Elsinore[saw the fac= es on the ceiling.](3D") - EvaDewer[took a break be= low the bell-line.](3D") - crumblecat [tilted their Moris= Minor.](3D") [Upcoming Fark Parties](3D"htt=) It= 's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you're effectively saying that "I'm goin= g to be here at this time, come hang out." [Submit one!](3D" [Monday, April 8, 2024, Total eclipse of t= he Sun Fark Party at Noon. Buffalo Small Boat Harbor](3D=) Fark Headlines of the Week= A selection of some of the top headlines from last week. [Pilot who tried to shut off engines while i= n the air released on bail. Apparently they don't consider him a flight ris= k](3D"h=) [Alaska and Hawa= iian Airlines to combine, making flights across the boxes in the bottom lef= t corner of the map more convenient](3D") [Emergency workers called in to remove Palestinian flag ha= nging from downtown holiday decorations, because the last thing Christmas s= hould be about is honoring refugees fleeing persecution in the Holy Land](3D"=)= > [Cruise may be fined = for misleading investigators about San Francisco pedestrian accident, legit= imacy of Scientology](3D") ['No way t= o prevent this,' says father of 12 Nick Cannon complaining about cost of re= gularly taking kids to Disneyland](3D") [I guess I'll be swinging on this internet thingin. Hoping all the hepc= ats dig on my groove](3D".=) [Netf= lix viewers horrified by "unnecessary incest" in new Christmas movie, raisi= ng the question as to what "necessary incest" looks like](3D") Slay bells averted It might be a slow news day, but = calling a shooter outstanding is not the kind of judgement we need right no= w local news station writer Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox= 45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we lea= rned that wool is perhaps not the best material for baby blankets. On the Q= uiz itself, Captain Orr came out on top with 934, followed= by Oliver Twisted in second with 925 and Joelogon in third with 846. OtherLittleGuy= made fourth with 837. and edmo made it into th= e top five with 830. The hardest question on last week's Hard= Quiz was about which TV show Norman Lear was writing for in the early 2000= s. Only 11% of quiztakers knew he had quite a bit to do with the creation o= f "Chappelle's Show", not only serving as executive producer but also as a = writer and creative advisor. He also went to bat on Chappelle's behalf when= the network thought the show went a little too far with its satire of raci= al stereotypes. It's safe to say that absent Norman Lear, we would have nev= er seen Clayton Bigsby. Side note: Chappelle's Show holds the record for mo= st sales of a TV program on DVD. The easiest question on last= week's Hard Quiz was about which chain's Charged Lemonade was literally gi= ving people heart attacks. 81% knew the place to OD on caffeine was Panera = Bread, where you can get the maximum FDA recommended dosage of jitter juice= in one 30-oz cup - and they give refills. If you really want to be that wi= de awake, you're probably less likely to die from taking something you buy = from the busboy behind the restaurant. The hardest question o= n last week's Easy Quiz was about the meaning of "dexterous", Only 26% of q= uiztakers knew that it meant "having or demonstrating great skill or clever= ness", and didn't mean relating to the hands. Although some words using the= same root, such as "ambidextrous", do mean "able to use both hands equally= ", the literal meaning is "skillful in both". The easiest que= stion on last week's Easy Quiz was about the meaning of "permeable". 89% of= quiztakers knew that it meant "having pores or openings to allow liquids o= r gas to pass through". It shares the same Latin root, permeare, as "permea= te", meaning to diffuse throughout. If you missed out last we= ek, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D"ht=), Congratulations once again t= o the winners, and we'll be doing it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1702507424-816-686--