Fark NotNewsletter: Roll Them Bones

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1700094147-31685-17333 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [http= s://fark.com/13056804](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone hope your week's b= een well. I'm currently riding= a bike across Joshua Tree National Forest - we got the morning off today d= ue to rain in the forecast. Apparently when it rains in the desert th= ings get weird. Anyhow it's been a great trip so far. Joshua Tr= ee looks like Mars but with plants. I saw my first rattlesnake on Mon= day - it was huge and pretty pissed off. Dan, a passing motorist, saw= it on the road and decided to stop and scare it into the bushes before the= rest of us cyclists came along. It's also tarantula season out here.= We've been warned that pretty much everything out here will try to k= ill us, including bees that want to drink the water out of your eyes. = This must be what living in Australia is like. I'm still [fundraising](3D=)for this e= vent so if anyone feels inclined, I'd appreciate if you'd click on the link= and donate. I'm posting pics on [Instag= ram](3D"), mostly weird ones so you've got that to look forward to. I'm= hoping to see some big horn sheep at some point, apparently they're wily b= astards so it might not happen - but if it does I'll be sure to post pics. [= pport.climateride.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=3Ddonordrive.participant&par= ticipantID=3D11574](3D"=) ________________________ End&n= bsp;Drew transmission ________________________ Top Interactions So= me of the best interactions from the past week. Do note: this takes= priority over being placed in "top comments." - [This Thread](3D" too= k a while to turn into a discussion about delivery stories. It all started = at Warrener['s CSB about pizza delivery.](3D"=) - Fano, to DarkSoulNoHope: ["We simulposted = Boobies! What does that make us? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!"](3D") Top Comments Some of the top-= voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week. If your post is= n't here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey couldn't think o= f a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D"https:/=) and [= Funniest](3D"https://w=) for the past month are found elsewhere.) Funny:= m> - Dodo David[respects the choice to prevent l= anguage osmosis.](3D" - The Dog Ate My Homework[h= as an alternative reason to not move to Sweden.](3D") - Poc= ket Ninja[learned a new euphemism.](3D"=) - Abe Vig= oda's Ghost[Devil? I don't see a devil here, only Dickbutt.](3D"https://=) - Felgrafspotted the DISINFECTION-STRENGTH UV L= IGHTS HOLY shiat MY EYES Smart: - [I wonder w= hat happened to](3D")Clearly Canadian[on a plane.](3D" = - debug[spotted rank hypocrisy.](3D=) - Shagbert[informs us that this 'scenario' happened more than onc= e.](3D"https://=) - Hey Nurse![: "This whole thing just piss= es me off, mostly because I was not that pizza delivery man."](3D" -&nb= sp;Slow To Returnwonders how this YouTuber ended up doi= ng the local government's job. - jso2897[: "E= very successful scam ever has had a few people who got in early and won - t= hat's what the bait for the suckers is."](3D") [Politics](3D" P= olitics Funny: - LurkerSupreme[reminds us t= hat people are significantly more likely to interpret phrases in naughty wa= ys if those phrases are right next to other naughty phrases.](3D") -&nbs= p;Fart And Smunny: "Finally, a Republican answer to chil= d hunger!" - FortyHams[gave us our next WV s= enator. A dog?](3D" Politics Smart: - Not= abunny[doubts that money made it to a charity.](3D"=) - fone[brought to light an attempt to un-gerrymander Ohio.](3D"=) (Yes, it's real - I checked. fireside68 [found it too.](3D") - NotNewsletterMonkey) - snocon= e[realized they'd been fighting anti-vaxxers far longer than the= y'd thought.](3D"=) Monkey's Pick I fe= lt these posts were exceptionally funny or smart, even though they didn't g= et many votes. Warning: Unsorted, may contain politics. Funn= y: - sleze[brought forward this blast from = the past.](3D" - Tyrone Slothrop[: "When you don'= t even have the skill to be an editorial cartoonist, you can get work as a = court artist."](3D") Smart: - bughunter= trong>[proposes why outdoor sex might not be the best idea.](3D") [CSB](3D"=)Sunday = Morning theme - "[The strangest experience you've ever had in a restaurant](3D"https:/=)"This week, Farkers were asked to share bizarre restaurant stories. [Funny](3D"): - Johnson= trong>[got to press the big red button, and didn't get fired for it!](3D") - chewd[heard a waiter call for Gene Masseth.](=3D" - The Pope of Manwich Village['s coworker was vi= ciously attacked by shrimp.](3D") - I May Be Crazy But...= strong>[their nurse relatives cleared the whole restaurant.](3D") [Smart](3D"): - Poldana = envies this strange man. - chewd[went to Hoo= ters for lunch.](3D") - little big man[saw a waitr= ess get fired in the middle of breakfast.](3D") - EBN-OZN= strong>[had their hangover breakfast ruined.](3D") Top Contest Entries Some of the top-= voted [contest](3D") entries fro= m last week. As always, everybody gets one. [Photoshops](3D" = Welcome to the Photoshop threads, Jerry Cornelius! - Dodo David[bought just one set of goggles = for the whole family.](3D" - BigTuna[attempted to= mutate a fish.](3D") - I_Am_Weasel[knows it's the= Penguin's house, not yours.](3D") - RedZoneTuba[t= ried to bar the gates.](3D") - Yammering_Splat_Vector= ng>[thwarted Suction Cup Man.](3D") - Herb Utsmelz= [put 007 in a very unsafe work environment.](3D") - samsq= uatch[introduced a subliminal message.](3D"=) - Eva= Dewer[put Twitter with its contemporaries.](3D"=) - hammettman[was dumped.](3D"https://=) - opalakea = created life with electricity. - Thrakkorzog= [restored the original Ceiling Cat painting.](3D") - Thoa= ar[was assaulted by the Jolly Green Giant's visage.](3D".=) -&nb= sp;Driver[found a partner for the Flying Spaghetti Monster= .](3D"ht=) - p51d007[left their picnic basket unatten= ded.](3D" - kabloink[abducted this charioteer's h= orse.](3D" - FotoshopFiend[brought a new meaning= to "craterface."](3D" - TrollingForColumbine[sto= le those paintings.](3D") - Hassan Ben Sobr[visite= d Christina's World.](3D") [Captions](3D" "[Caption this worker at= the end of their shift](3D" - west.la.lawyer [sewed i= t to their sleeve again.](3D") - RedZoneTuba [brought a = rapid-fire assault of sewing puns.](3D") "[Caption this wild little = picnic](3D" - Kalyco Jack [couldn't find it within t= hemselves to enjoy surprise watermelon vodka.](3D" "[Caption these pa= ssionate reenactors](3D")" - Marcus Aurelius [achieved m= omentary liftoff.](3D") - Cache [wishes that were them.=](3D" "[Caption these birds enjoying a snack](3D"=)" - RedZ= oneTuba [admired the "Gay Pride Parrots."](3D"=) - steklo= [raced to the windshield.](3D"=) "[Caption this meeting of h= ipsters](3D" - RedZoneTuba [went to Starbucks Barista= Academy.](3D" - [Ever wonder how many calories are in your coffee?](3D"https:/=) = MurphyMurphy [has you covered.](=3D" Farktography the= me: "[Earth Tones](3D"https=)" This week, Farkers were challeng= ed to show us photos that are dominated by earth tones-browns, rusty reds, = beiges, sage greens. Muted colors yes, bright colors no. - MorningBreath[found a snake.](3D=) - gorrck= [recovered a petroglyph.](3D"=) - kittyhas1000legs[played with the burrs.](3D"=) - Lovesandwich= g>[got to see a wing up close.](3D") [Upcoming Fark Par= ties](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you're effectiv= ely saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, come hang out." [Su= bmit one!](3D" [Monday, April 8, 2024, Total = eclipse of the Sun Fark Party at Noon. Buffalo Small Boat Harbor](3D")= Fark Headlines of the Wee= k A selection of some of the top headlines from last week. [Why was 11-ye= ar-old honor roll student arrested, placed in solitary confinement? Because= he asked for counselor at his elementary school after his dad died from ca= ncer](3D") [Antisemite trying to target Jewish building end= s up targeting antisemitic group due to lack of research. Good](3D") [Man charged with arson fo= r casino racetrack fire that caused the abrupt ending of over 2 dozen horse= s, just like in The Sopran](3D") [Maine residents fed up with increasing power bills and no a= ccountability from the for-profit utilities have hit upon a novel approach:= vote the power companies out of business](3D") [If reading the term 'CIA rectal tool kit' made you c= lench wait until you see the photo](3D"https://f=) [HALP. We want to rebuild = our dream home in the Tinderbox Forest surrounded by beautiful Match Trees = and Kindling Bushes and Firestarter Shrubbery, but insurance is too expensi= ve. SEND US MONEY](3D".=) [SAG reaches deal with the studio= s. Act cool](3D") [Piano loses the wrong organ](3D") [She's a keeper](3D"htt=) = Fast and furious LA freeway Crash-n-Gr= ab robbery wasn't random. Toretto says they were after jewelry and looking = for a thrill, but what's real is family Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by= ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz last we= ek, where we learned movie studios don't need to scan real actors to c= reate A.I. characters. On the Quiz itself, sgarri7777 came= out on top with a ridiculous 1082, followed by DemonicGerbil in second with 1017 and Denjiro in third wit= h 1013. TrashcanMan made fourth with 984, and The Third Man rounds out the top five with 931. The = hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about Zepbound. Only 36% of q= uiztakers caught the article about it being the new name for the diabetes d= rug Mounjaro, which itself sounds like a Mediterranean volcano. Because of = weird FDA regulations, since the drug is being prescribed for weight loss i= nstead of diabetes, it needs a new label and a new name. So if you're wonde= ring why drugs are getting such weird names, it's because we're running out= of coherent syllable combinations in the English language because each dru= g has to have so many names. The easiest question on last week's Ha= rd Quiz was about which state decided to become the 24th to legalize recrea= tional cannabis. 84% of quiztakers knew the people stuck in Ohio decided th= ey wanted something to do while they were stuck in Ohio. So next season whe= n the NFL players are introducing themselves early in the game, you'll like= ly see one say "John Footballplayer, THE ummm... ummm... Ohio Univers= ity something..." The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was= about the former Disney star who has made a "grown-up" album to break into= the music business. Only 36% of quiztakers recognized Sabrina Carpenter as= the star of "Girl Meets World". Her new music video for "Feather" has rank= led the Brooklyn diocese for having a bit different theme than the producti= on crew let on when they asked permission to film in a Brooklyn Catholic ch= urch, but hey. forgiveness is easier to obtain than permission. The= easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which group announced = their upcoming Las Vegas residency last week. 88% of quiztakers recognized&= nbsp;Bobby Brown, Ralph Tresvant, Ronnie DeVoe, Johnny Gill, Michael Bivins= and Ricky Bell as members of New Edition. I'm thinking that's gonna be one= heck of a show, even if it is only for six performances. If = you missed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D" now t= hat you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winner= s, and we'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1700094147-31685-17333--