Fark NotNewsletter: Half-Off the Seat

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1696523359-30313-17642 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [http= s://fark.com/13012908](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ No [Thursday Fark Livestream](3D"https=)= this week - I'm out and about. We'll be back next week! _________= _______________ End Drew transmission= m> ________________________ Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and funnies= t comments from the past week. If your post isn't here, assume the NotNewsletterMonkey couldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D") and [Funniest](3D") for the past m= onth are found elsewhere.) Funny: - Abox= [: "And that's where the saga ends."](3D"=) - noazar= k [= remembered a classic failed swastika.](3D".=) Smart: -&nb= sp;xanadian [is mystified by this actual manchild's definit= ion of "reaction."](3D=) - HotWingConspiracy [wonde= rs why this newspaper felt the need to plug a YouTube channel.](3D") -&n= bsp;scottydoesntknow [spotted the Reddit post behind the ne= ws article.](3D" [= Politics](3D=) Politics Funny: - markie_farkie[gave us a "how it started" vs "how it ended" comparison to= McCarthy's speakership.](3D"h=) - leeksfromchichis: "This will= be a reasonable thread." - mrshowrules [shared how poli= tics works in a(nother) civilized country.](3D") Politics Smart: - HerptheDerp [explained why people want Gaetz out of p= ower.](3D" - OdradekRex [called a whiny toddler tactic for wh= at it is.](3D" [CSB](3D" Morning theme - "[Adventures in travel](3D" This week, Farkers were asked to share their travelling advent= ures. "It can go so very well, and it can go so very badly." Smart - Not technically a post, but DrD'isInfotainment (and >72 others) were confused by Gene = Masseth. foo monkey [found an image that explained it. - catmandu's](3D" motto has gotten them th= rough a lot.](3D" - Petey4335's [religious group = was shaken down for a bribe.](3D") - gregario [was = upgraded to first class. Bonus: real silverware!](3D") [= Funny](3D") - foo monkey [had nyseexc= hange.com pitched to them.](3D") - WyDave [followed= up with a comment about bobsexpresslube.com](3D"). - Friar= Reb98 [wore a remnant of a travel adventure.](3D"=) Top Contest Entries Some of th= e top-voted [contest](3D"=) entri= es from last week. As always, everybody gets one. [Photoshops](3D" - = RedZoneTuba [stole some nuts.](3D=) - kablo= ink [discovered an extraordinary TFG impersonator.](3D"=) - = Yammering_Splat_Vector [cast a featherless biped.](3D" = - GoodDoctorB [recreated a crashlanding.](3D" - fisker [wondered what the world would be like after the USA's= gone.](3D"https:=) - X-Geek [delivered a severed head.](3D" > - Vortex Dweller [unleashed horrors beyond mort= al comprehension.](3D" - west.la.lawyer [unea= rthed Speed Racer. God help us all.](3D") - Herb Utsmelz= trong> [created a new Birdemic poster.](3D") [Captions](3D" "[Caption what thi= s cat is thinking.](3D")" - UtopianDevil[insists o= n a meat-only diet.](3D") - Snubnose [got a little = too defensive about not looking like Bugs Bunny.](3D") "[Caption this = confused conversation.](3D")" - Conservative Evangelical Mi= llennial Cyclist [sang that one song by Samwell.](3D"ht=) - Creoena [is a testicle. Totally not misheard. At all.](3D"https=) = [Farkt= ography theme](3D"=): "Farktography ABCs" This week, Farkers were chal= lenged to pick a letter, and show us a subject that begins with that letter= . - common sense is an oxymoron[: "alternatively= , N is for Nope."](3D") - thisispete [gave us a beautiful Waterfall.= a> - Herb Utsmelz](3D"ht=)[MOON](3D" = - RaptorLC shot (a photo of) a posing Wolf. Upcoming Fark Parties= a> It's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you're effectively saying that "= I'm going to be here at this time, come hang out."[Submit one!](3D" [Monday, April 8, 2024, Total eclipse of the Sun Fark Party at Noon.= Buffalo Small Boat Harbor](3D") Fark Headlines of the Week A selection of some of the to= p headlines from last week. We had a lot of them! [Senator Feinstein n= ot subject to new dress code](3D") [Ophelia falls into depression](3D") [Meatloaf blamed for = E.coli outbreak that spread like a bat out of hell](3D") [Suspect in Mambo 4 m= urders arrested. A little bit of evidence makes me your man](3D") [Trump Tower in hot water over 'under-reporting' what it's dumping into Ch= icago River. Apparently "6-foot-3 and 215 pounds" was not an option](3D") = [Florida is purging every book wit= h even an incidental gay character from libraries, leaving only a copy of B= attlefield Earth and a Chevy Lumina Haynes manual](3D") [Beagle rescued after venomo= us snake bite. Reached for comment, nearby adults made wonky horn sounds an= d a local bird said " | | | | | | | | | | "](3D") [Ukraine must s= urrender on Russia's terms immediately or "cease to exist" says an increasi= ngly desperate Russian official for the 14th time this year](3D") [Fans of t= he beetles want to change their name to help save them from extinction but = neo-Nazis say let it be](3D") [World-record butternut squash looks s= uspiciously like Mr. Peanut morphing into a more powerful form](3D") = [Look, everybody= , the PowerBall jackpot's gone up again. My God, this never happens](3D") = [Yo= New Orleans, we heard you like drinking water, so we're going to bring in = water via water so you can drink while you drink](3D") [Five Guys set to start Wor= ld War 3, Pizza Hut lining up for World War 4 (possible nsfw content on pag= e)](3D") Fark Weird News Qui= z (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Anoth= er fun time on the Fark Weird News Quiz last week, where we learned pre-loa= ding open-source software on a PC can sometimes increase its resell value o= n ebay. On the Quiz itself, Wingchild came out on top with= a ridiculous 1058, followed by Shotgun Justice in se= cond with 1009 and Xanadone in third with 981. raukos7 made fourth with 954. and KumquatMay= strong> rounds out the top five with 928. The hardest question on l= ast week's Hard Quiz was about the new BNA Marketplace concourse and its ho= w-redneck-can-you-get Acme Feed & Seed, since you're probably gonna wan= t to stock up on cattle feed, wheat straw, and seed corn when you fly in fr= om Paris and get your tractor out of long-term parking. Only 27% of quiztak= ers recognized BNA as the airport code for Nashville, TN, home of the natio= n's longest continuous broadcast radio show - the Grand Ole Opry on WSN 640= AM. The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about = which play John Wilkes Booth decided to duck out early from and ruin his ac= ting career forever. 83% of quiztakers knew Lincoln, a regular patron of th= e theater since they hadn't invented Twitter yet, decided to go see "Our Am= erican Cousin," a farce about a boorish American who inherits land in Engla= nd and goes to claim it, only to be mistaken for a servant. Despite its unf= ortunate association, the play does remain popular even today, and I'd reco= mmend checking it out if you like live theater, The hardest questio= n on last week's Easy Quiz was about where to go to get "Mambo" or "Sweet a= nd Spicy Jam" sauces for your processed chicken and fried potato sticks. On= ly 44% of quiztakers knew that McDonald's introduced the sauces last week. = No word on how they could do this rollout but screwed up the Szechuan sauce= promo that badly. In fact, why introduce these when you have such a high d= emand for the Szechuan sauce? The easiest question on last week's E= asy Quiz was about the definition of "quorum". 94% of quiztakers knew it wa= s the smallest number of people that needed to be present to conduct busine= ss. A number or percentage mandated by rule or statute is a "quota". = But to set a quota, you'd need a quorum. Which you can find quoted on the w= ebsite Quora. If you missed out last week, it's a great time = to [catch up on the Fark Weir= d News Quiz](3D"=) now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations onc= e again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1696523359-30313-17642--