Fark NotNewsletter: Good Riddance, Business License

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1695846553-38785-17720 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [http= s://fark.com/13005240](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ 4pm Thursday (tomorrow) it's th= e [Fark News Livestream](3D")! We usually try to= ignore politics, mainly because a lot about politics isn't fun - it's rage= -inducing. However a bunch of actually funny stuff has crept into the= news cycle lately, and I figure as 2024 approaches it will be harder and h= arder to avoid. Including our buried lede of the week, Florida Man ge= ts naked again, and what really happens if you swallow gum. Oh and so= me Senator got busted for corruption. Plus other stuff - I think Dill= and Christine have been down the Temu rabbit hole again so we may have a q= uestionable product testing segment as well. ___________________= _____ End Drew transmission ____= ____________________ Top Intera= ctions Some of the best interactions from the past week. = Do note: this takes priority over being placed in "top comments." - We had our [13 millionth thread](3D"https:=) this week! - Caution: This Thread= strong> contains copious amounts of Dogs With Guns. - = [Two Dogs Farking](3D"), I hereby demand that I be given a = Fark account, [djfitz](3D"h=), and [CarnySa= ur](3D")had their sense of direction flipped, turned upside down.- [Martian_Astronomer](3D"=) had trouble finding a g= if of the devil eating popcorn. [baron von doodle](=3D" found= the next best thing. - Chompachangas and Chthonic Echoes [guessed that, if there were other species of huma= n, we probably drove them to extinction.](3D"ht=) - ♪Wouldn't it = be nice♪ if [Mr. Coffee Nerves](3D"=), [Mugato= strong>](3D"), and [Hanky](3D"=)'s wishes came true? Top Comments Some of th= e top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week. If your p= ost isn't here, assume the NotNewsletterMonkey couldn't th= ink of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D"ht=) and [Funniest](3D"http=) for the past month are found elsewhere.) Funn= y: - PirateKing[found a way to compare the Am= erican military and fake belly buttons.](3D" - tom baker's s= carf[exhibited a classic Fark tradition: intentionally misreading = another Farker's comment.](3D"=) - hubiestubert[found= an Edna Mode lookalike.](3D") - Nuclear Monk["Train= s are very rare in Florida. The average Florida Man just does not recognize= them as a potential predator."](3D") - uttertosh[ha= d an alternative reason for a sudden purge.](3D") Smart: = - AnotherBluesStringer[recognized that this person's = problems were relative.](3D" (credit to [arrogantbastich](3D" ) - Private_Citizen[is impressed by this survivor'= s spite.](3D" - yohohogreengiant[has lived= > the reasons you shouldn't live on a boat.](3D") - Ethertap["Maybe it was getting better, but it was far from good."](3D"=) -&= nbsp;johnphantommanaged to survive their alcohol addictio= n, somehow. [= Politics](3D=) Politics Funny: - = Shostie[: "You know the IRS can f*cking hear you, right?"= a> - A Room Full of Angry Raccoons](3D"http=)[spotted some re= al-life baby face knees.](3D") - Raymond Perjurytrap= [: "Now who's promoting sodomy?"](3D") Politics Smart: -= AdmirableSnackbar[recognized a decent critic.](3D" - Anastacyaremembered the old proverb about coinc= idences: Once is a happenstance, twice is coincidence, and three times? Lik= ely enemy action. - optikeye[knows the risks= of giving a grown-up toddler a gun.](3D") - aaronx:= "The trope is that every accusation is an admission, but I can't really fi= gure out what Gosar is admitting to." - trerro= [added up the probabilities, and found that the chance of this being a po= lice homicide are about 99%.](3D") - Ishkur[laid ou= t exactly why some lobbyists would want us to support Ukraine.](3D") -&nbs= p;hardinparamedicclarified what a "neo-nazi fight club"= is. - YakBoy42[reminded us of a little-known = hero.](3D" - Pocket Ninja[spotted an accidental ad= mission.](3D" - MrBallou[knows that, to give aid,= you must accept that some will lie to get more.](3D" Monkey's Pick I felt these posts were exceptionally funny= or smart, even though they didn't get many votes. Warning: Unsorted, ma= y contain politics. Smart: - johnphantom= strong>[gave us statistical reasons to support Democrats.](3D") - LordJiro[was willing to clarify a potential misunderstanding.=](3D"https:=) [CSB](3D=)Sunday Morning theme - "[Lost and Found](3D")"This week, Farkers were asked to share stuff that was once lost, and has= now been found. [Smart](3D"htt=) - neofonz[: "A sure-fire way of= finding something that is lost is to purchase its replacement."](3D" -&n= bsp;tenalquot[looked like a madman, 'til they found the = key.](=3D" - TheCableGuy[did what most 5th graders w= ould never do: return a wallet.](3D" - Jesus McSordid= g>[found their lost book in a secondhand store.](3D") [Funny](3D") - so= rceror['s missing license came in handy for a joke.](3D"=) - gregscott[was returned a surprise tool that might help them= later.](3D"htt=) - The Headless Horseman's Headless Horse= g>[saw Porky at a very young age.](3D") - enry[start= ed with a dozen golf balls, found a dozen more, and still ended with like f= our.](3D") Top Contest Entri= es Some of the top-voted [contest](3D" entries from last week. As always, everybody gets o= ne. [Photos= hops](3D".=): - Driver[identified this ice crea= m Rorschach.](3D" - RedZoneTuba[stapled a missile= launcher to their car.](3D") - Yammering_Splat_Vector= g>[spotted these Muppet critics.](3D") - freetomato = remembers what we used before horses. - Stephen_Falken[noticed a "cat."](3D"=) - kabloink[knows how= to treat their cat.](3D") - chewd[found those cho= colate eyes in their Halloween supplies.](3D") - whatsupchuck= [- BITE MY SHINY METAL SHOTGLASSES.](3D"=) - asstamas= sta[knew this car came straight out of Planes, Trains and Automobi= les.](3D"=) - proton[designed an alternate-universe v= ersion of the Zig-Zag Cigarette tubes.](3D" - Dodo David= rong>[- Why do I hear boss music?](3D") - Petite Mel= [spotted a Truffula Tree.](3D") - Terrapin Bound[g= ave the cornerstone of this cottage a Warriors-themed makeover.](3D") -&nb= sp;west.la.lawyerfound the lawn from the Domo meme.= - kabloink[noticed this terrified squid(ward).](3D" > - GoodDoctorB[helped this jellyfish become The D= ark Side of the Moon.](3D" - Terrapin Bound[worked = at an adult video store.](3D") - Hassan Ben Sobr[wis= hed to be a ball player.](3D") - samsquatch[delivere= d a package to an apartment at 20,000 feet.](3D") - jaylight2= 003[found the ghost of the British empire(?)](3D"=) [Captions](3D"): We= had a bounty of Captions links this week, [thank you, everyone who submitted!](3D" "[Caption these c= autious Coasties](3D")" - snowybunting [had this duo= fight over the gun.](3D") - Dodo David [patrolled B= ikini Bottom.](3D") "[Caption this hungry little fellow](3D"h=)" - = ; dionysusaur [considered a seaweed mustache instead.](=3D" RedZoneTuba: ["Nice beaver!"](3D" "[Captio= n this night on the town](3D")" - Devolving_Spud [sp= otted a high-as-a-kite suitor.](3D") - bearded clamorer= ong> [thought this dude looked like a Stan Laurel impersonator.](3D") = "[Caption this brief concert in the salon](3D")" - Octafrye [brought us the NPR tiny desk concerts.](3D"=) - Diab= olic [took us to a Kid Rock concert, sung by kids.](3D"=) [Farktography t= heme](3D"): "[Software Hootenanny 13](3D".=)" This week, Farkers were chal= lenged to use any-and-all software edits - [especially the ones not usually allowed by Farktography rules.](3D" -&n= bsp;MorningBreathlit up Sanford Hall. - Driver[made a Hot Wheels car look real.](3D"https://=) - Elsinore[can finally share the true form of their childhood beach= memories.](3D"=) - gregscott[made a school bus loo= k like modern art.](3D" - FutherMucker[made a world= with only the color pink.](3D") [Upcoming Fark Parties= u>](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you're effectively sa= ying that "I'm going to be here at this time, come hang out." [Submit on= e!](3D" [Monday, April 8, 2024, Total eclipse of the Sun Fark Party at Noon. Bu= ffalo Small Boat Harbor](3D"=) Fark Headlines of the Week A selection of some of the top h= eadlines from last week. Michael Jackson shoots Uber driver who then crashes into a = Tree-hee [On= this day in history, in 1793, George Washington laid the Capitol cornersto= ne. History does not record her name, but she's said to have enjoyed it](3D"https:/=)= [Bears defense worse than expected=](3D"=) [On this day in history, in 1987, hundreds of Brazilians were accidental= ly poisoned by cesium-137, an event even more horrific because no one reall= y knows how many people that actually is](3D"=) Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by = ox45tallboy) Another fun time on this week's Quiz, wher= e we determined pumpkin spice contains no pumpkin. On the Quiz itself, mrfu32 came out on top and gets a ticket to the 1000 club with= a score of 1022, along with bibliophile42 who scored= 1008. Autoerotic Defenestration made third with 993,= dantanner made fourth with 988, and Avast ye= Scallywag rounds out the top five with 966. The hardest q= uestion on last week's Hard Quiz was about what shut down the Pennsylvania = Turnpike in Somerset County early Wednesday morning. Only 33% of quiztakers= caught the article about a hit-and-run causing a spill of several tons of = ice cream. They might have got it cleaned up quicker if they let the local = elementary school out with a bunch of spoons. The easiest que= stion on last week's Hard Quiz was about which tennis star won the Battle o= f the Sexes 50 years ago. 93% of quiztakers knew that Billie Jean King mana= ged to best Bobby Riggs. the former top rated amateur and top rated pro who= won three grand slams in his career. The match served as a touchstone for = women's rights and the increasing popularity of women's sports. The= hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which snack food= was pairing up with The Caviar Company to launch a limited edition line of= pair-ups, including one for $149 that included golden spoons. Only 33% of = quiztakers recognized that Pringles is owned by Kellogg's, while Triscuits = are a Nabisco food. This is why I don't think getting dinner ideas from Tik= Tok is a worthwhile endeavor. The easiest question on last we= ek's Easy Quiz was about the form of exercise known as rucking. 93% of quiz= takers knew that it meant to carry a weight on your back while running or j= ogging, mimicking the rucksacks of military troops. Or Luke Skywalker carry= ing Yoda around, I guess. If you missed out last week, it's a great= time to [catch up on = the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D"=) now that you know a few of the answers. Congra= tulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday. = --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1695846553-38785-17720--