Fark NotNewsletter: Back to School

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1692220477-45202-19190 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [http= s://fark.com/12960652](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone hope your week's b= een well. Kids are finally bac= k in school, now comes the task of figuring out what fall schedules are goi= ng to end up being like. Plus we've got a break from the heat so I've= moved the home office out to my porch to take advantage of it. = Thursday 4pm Eastern it's the [Fark News Livestream](3D") with me, Christine, Dill, and Lucky.&= nbsp; We're back from a break, and as usual I'm loaded with material again.= Usually we're lucky to have one story that qualifies as weirdest thi= ng I've read in awhile, this week we have at least six. Come for peop= le hooking up in just one particular robotaxi fleet's cars, busted AI artic= le summaries, the absolute strangest solved alien case I've ever seen, and = the name of Fergie's new boob appears to be a Good Place reference - see if= you can help us figure out why and/or how because she's not telling.= > If you miss the livestream you have= up to two weeks to watch it again before it disappears into the ether!= an> ________________________ End Drew = transmission ________________________ Farking Tip If you keep missing the sta= rt of the [Fark News Livestream](3D"=), you could try t= urning notifications on. We don't have a system for those yet (or maybe = ever), but Twitch does, if you have an account. Top Interactions Some of the best inter= actions from the past week. Do note: this takes priority over being= placed in "top comments." - Farkers in [This Thread](3D" joked about= COVID conspiracy theories. - Farkers in [This Thread](3D" proposed= ideas as to what Pansexual 'actually' means. - [tacoPHX](3D"), [FormlessOne](=3D" and [Murka= nen](3D")poked holes in a fearmongering statistic. - [spongeboob's image](3D") caused its thread to go on several dog= -related tangents. Top Co= mments Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments f= rom the past week. If your post isn't here, assume the NotNewslett= erMonkey couldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D" and [Funniest](3D" for the past month are found elsewher= e.) Funny: - PiperArrow[has an = exaggerated amount of confidence in the law.](3D") - sawmil= ldon[has a non-standard reason to not believe the article.](3D"=) = - WickerNipple[joked about this house's bucket coll= ection.](3D" - SBinRR[... Which kind of Soul?](3D" Smart: - Bandito King[identifie= d these attackers' cowardice.](3D") - make me some tea= ong>['s uncle really should've been able to pay bills.](3D") - KingKauff[noticed some unprofessional behavior.](3D"https:/=) - = ;brokenbiscuits[has sympathy for UPS drivers.](=3D" = [Politics](3D") Politics Funny: - calbert= g>[summarized the TFG indictment train in one image.](3D") - The Weekend Baker[shared a different interpretation of "Til deat= h do us part."](3D"=) - OdradekRex[looked at this = Teacher of the Year's situation from another perspective.](3D") P= olitics Smart: - tacoPHX[weakened a fearmo= ngering statistic with a comparison.](3D") - NewportBarGuy[spotted the alien.](3D"=) - bostonguy[wish= es people would stop believing whatever they're told.](3D") - Etchy333[wonders how historians will look back on TFG.](3D"https://=) = - Psychopusher[: "Trump rants on the same schedule as= an infant feeds."](3D" Monkey's PickI felt these posts were exceptionally funny or smart, even though they di= dn't get many votes. Warning: Unsorted, may contain politics. Funny: - [Created by](3D"ht=)steklo[: "You've g= ot jail!"](3D") - Diminished First[proposed one re= sult of officially labelling churches terrorist organizations.](3D") -&n= bsp;Glorious Golden Ass[: "Either the world got better, or = people got better at hiding it."](3D" Smart: - Klippoklondike[has a unique way to celebrate the TFG indictm= ents.](3D=) - Dustin_00[warns lawwriters to resp= ect the Oxford Comma, or else.](3D" - Tillmaster = noticed this news site's theft of credibility. = [CSB](3D")Sunday Morning theme= - "[Back to School](3D"=)" This week, Farkers wer= e asked to share their back-to-school stories. [Smart](3D"): - = bloobeary[had an... interesting tenth grade year.](3D"=) = - Fara Clark[never had to register for the draft.= a> - Auntie Cheesus](3D" "speech impediment" (read:= accent) set off their teacher.](3D" - Deathbymeteor= ng>[ended up in a payment catch-22.](3D") [Funny](3D"): - Petey= 4335[got glass up the ass.](3D"=) - Auntie Cheesus[figured out how to get a brick to fly. (Clarifying: Like a plane.)=](3D"=) - bighairyguy[got no sleep.](3D" - = ;Max Wedge['s child wrote an... interesting essay. To screw= with their new teacher, of course!](3D"h=) Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted [contest](3D" entries from last wee= k. As always, each artist gets 1 link - no more, no less. The Photoshops= were especially great this week. [Photoshops](3D" - Herb Utsm= elz[portrayed this disappoint(ed) dad.](3D"=) - Thr= akkorzog[just barely missed Toonces the Driving Cat.](3D"=) -&nb= sp;Dodo David['s PAWS looks like a great new movie.](=3D" - clovercat[dragged this Rebel Without a Cause ou= t of the gym.](3D" - Yammering_Splat_Vector['s sca= recrow isn't doing his job right.](3D") - RedZoneTuba= ng>[is a lumberjack and that's okay.](3D") - EvaDewer= ng>[brought back some fantastic Photoshop expressions.](3D") - Driver[imagined Buddy Jesus happy.](3D"https://w=) - Jam= es_Corn[held open the Gates for you.](3D".=) - Disse= minationMonkey[(hello previous NotNewsletter writer!) imagined a L= ive Action Remake of Snow White.](3D"https=) - p51d007[p= layed Jenga with a pyramid.](3D") - Justaguy62[gre= w some all-natural truck nuts.](3D") - west.la.lawyer= ng>[brought an old classic to life.](3D") - fisker= [just wishes they'd stop shaking the beam.](3D") - Terrap= in Bound[discovered an emergency source of ketchup.](3D"=) -&nbs= p;Elrik[tracked down the owl who stole their Tootsie Roll = Pop.](3D"http=) - SonOfSpam[... wait a minute, this isn'= t Spaceballs!](3D" - SkoalReaver[gave Neo a diff= erent choice.](3D") - Snubnose[performed a class= ic play by Fred Padilla.](3D") - sl4psh0t[encased = a chicken in carbonite. As you do.](3D") [Captions](3D" "[Caption this cat that's had enou= gh of the dog's crap](3D" - beezeltown[ordered t= he dog to WAIT.](3D") - sorceror[tried to teach = an old dog not to eat shiat.](3D") - SirDigbyChickenCaesar[reinterpreted the situation.](3D"=) [Farktography theme](3D" "[Geometric](3D")" This week, = Farkers were challenged to show us subjects that are clear geometric shapes= . - spidermann[found the triangle motherlode.](3D" > - bikkurikun[discovered this subway station fu= ll of right angles.](3D" - Lovesandwich[encounter= ed artifical kelp(?), located near the Seattle Space Needle.](3D") -&nbs= p;MorningBreath[watched the hazy morning sun.](=3D" = [Upcoming Fark Parties](3D") It's easy to plan for = a Fark Party - you're effectively saying that "I'm going to be here at this= time, come hang out." [Submit one!](3D"https=) Fark Headlines of the Week A selection of som= e of the top headlines from last week. [A doctor was accused of = masturbating in front of a 14-year-old girl on a flight from Honolulu to Bo= ston, and boy are his arms tired](3D") [NASA solves mystery of fireball that lit up West Virgin= ia sky and why it comes back every day at dawn](3D") [Italian man crushed to de= ath by falling cheese wheels. Mourners in tears, asking, "where have you go= ne, Joe Formaggio?"](3D") [Man shoots his mouth off. Woman shoots= his mouth off](=3D") [Quakers give away hundreds of black-history books at resched= uled Juneteenth event. HA HA](3D"h=) [The Eagles are turning a closed Wawa into a Popcor= n For The People facility. For those not familiar, a Wawa is like a 7-11 an= d the Eagles are like a football team](3D") [Oh, pull a PLANE for S= pecial Olympics](3D") [International Scout Jamboree in K= orea in shambles after tropical storm, poor planning, unacceptably low mole= station rates](3D"=) [Lawsuit over how Texas Pete hot sauce isn't= made in Texas allowed to continue despite being moronic. Subby preparing a= suit over "The NeverEnding Story"](3D"h=) [Virgin finally gets luc= ky](3D") [On this day in history= , in 1863, General Lee offered his resignation after his defeat at the Batt= le of Gettysburg, hoping to fade into a retirement of jumping bridges with = the Duke Boys](3D"=) [Sometimes a joke just bombs, man literally claims](3D"ht=) = Fark Weird News Quiz (br= ought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on t= he Quiz last week, where we decided bucket hats are best left to first mate= s on small touring ships. On the Quiz itself, Captcha if you Can= trong> came out on top with 964, followed by Denjiro = in second with 948 and rick42 in third with 901, freakingmoron made fourht with 880, and Astr= oJesus rounds out the top five with 863. The hardest quest= ion on last week's Hard Quiz was about zucchini. Only 17% of quiztakers kne= w that zucchini, like most all squashes, is native to North America (waterm= elon and cantaloupes are technically squashes but native to Africa and Asia= ). The Spanish brought zucchini back to Europe in the 16th century, and it = spread to Africa and Asia from there. The easiest question on= last week's Easy Quiz was about where to find the world's largest Ferris w= heel, or rather the world's largest structure resembling a Ferris wheel tha= t hasn't moved in the past 18 months. 90% of quztakers knew that the develo= pers in Dubai failed to take a few things into account during construction = (although no one will say what) and it has been deemed unsafe for usage, bu= t they're quick to point out how pretty the lights are at night. = The hardest question on last week's Easy quiz was about which artist sh= elled out $100,000 to keep the DC Metro open late for her fans after her sh= ow in Maryland was delayed due to bad weather. Only 48% of quiztakers knew = that Taylor Swift wasn't the only generous diva touring right now and that&= nbsp;Beyoncé had made the gesture so her fans wouldn't have to decid= e between leaving early and making it home safely. The easies= t question on the Easy Quiz last week was about the definition of the word = "debonair". 98% of quiztakers knew it meant "one who is fashionable, confid= ent, and attractive", The word is actually a portmanteau of the French phra= se "de bon aire" meaning "of good air", but essentially meant "of good line= age" - it referred to a noble person rather than a filthy peasant who lived= in the stinky air. If you missed out last week, now's a grea= t time to [catch up = on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D"=) now that you know a few of the answers. Con= gratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday= . --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. 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