Fark NotNewsletter: So long, and thanks for all the bananas

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1682533243-30893-25964 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 36526](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 Hey Farkers, it's your pal, Fark NotNewsletter= writer DisseminationMonkey here. (One last reminder = that I am not Drew. I write the NotNewsletters except for = the parts credited to others.) Well, after eight years and eight months, I = won't be writing the NotNewsletters anymore. I'm also not going to be cover= ing Fark's social media accounts that I've been handling for nine years. It= 's time for this monkey to pack up my typewriter and my bananas and swing t= hrough some other trees. You'll still see me in the comments and maybe some= Photoshop contests, but I won't be Fark's official disseminator anymore. I want to thank this awesome community for being so great and welcom= ing, and allowing me to try to put a taste of your cleverness in these week= ly gift boxes for all these years. You've kept me entertained and informed = through so very much: three presidents, so many mass shooting= s, [celebrity deaths](3D"), social media platforms turning to= the dark side, [WTFark](3D".=), a white and gold or black and blue [dress](3D"), a televise= d [ll= ama chase](3D"), dueling streaming services, Fark parties, a farking global p= andemic, the rise of K-pop, [Farking beers](3D"=), and so much more. Reading your comment= s and headlines and looking at your Photoshops and photos ensured I'd laugh= every day, even through hard times, even when I was mourning the deaths of= loved ones. I tried to always be fair and highlight some of your best orig= inal posts every week, and I hope it helped Farkers feel appreciated and sh= owed you new reasons to appreciate each other. I'm also really grateful for= how the [Farketplace](3D"=) threads were embraced by the Fark comm= unity, with such great participation that brought support to so many Farker= s' small businesses. Coming up with the concept for Farketplace is probably= what I'm most proud of doing here. I also want to thank the Fark s= taff who keep this place running. As is often the case, their jobs are hard= er than they look, and on top of all that, I was always asking the mods and= admins to explain obscure references in Farkers' comments to me. And on th= at note, please throw your support behind the next NotNewsletter writer. I = don't know what kinds of changes are in store for the NotNewsletter, but I = do know it's both fun and a lot of work to write, and I'm really looking fo= rward to reading it every week. See you in the funny papers. XOXO, DisseminationMonkey ________= ________________ A message from Drew Curt= is: ________________________ Much thanks to DisseminationMonkey for their amazing work over the years, i= t is much appreciated. We've been reviewing social media effectivenes= s for the past several months and have pretty much concluded what NPR did r= ecently - social media is great if you want to cultivate an audience on som= eone else's platform, not so great if you want to cross-pollinate an audien= ce onto your own platform. There was a time where that wasn't the cas= e, but so it goes. We won't be shutting down Fark's social accounts c= ompletely but we won't be regularly posting there going forward. The = NotNewsletter will continue however, more on that next week. Thursday at 4 p.m. it's the Fark News Livestream= with Dill, Lucky and me. Christine is out traveling somewhere wi= th bad connectivity so we'll be without her. Yet another banner week = for weirdness. One of the features I'm working on is stuff you never = knew Harry Bellefonte was involved in behind the scenes, I personally had n= o idea. Murder clowns and baby sumo should feature prominently as wel= l. Come join us! ________________________ End Drew transmission _________________= _______ Top Comments= Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments fr= om the past week Funny: iron de havilland = ong> shared [a personal reaction from = a witness to the Starship rocket launch and subsequent explosion](3D"=) Shostie was [shocked by= a boss's unreasonable demands](=3D" Psychopusher had&nb= sp;[a hunch about how Farkers felt about a = school bus driver hitting the brakes to teach tiny passengers a lesson](3D")Unscratchable_Itch showed us [a character that had an undeserved fate](3D") Pocket = Ninja looked into the frigh= tening truth about U.S. currency Archie Goodwin [fixed an offensive photo that jtown posted](3D") foo monkey knew [how participants in a New Zealand feral cat-killing c= ompetition would've known if a cat was feral or not](3D") Sim Tree= figured out [why the SpaceX= Starship rocket exploded](3D"=) Pinnacle Point was disma= yed by [a video showing people playing= water balloon roulette](3D"=) NeoCortex42 [messed with the space-time continuum](3D") Sma= rt: Pocket Ninja considered [who could be the role model for bad bosses](3D") = Madman drummers bummers offered to [outwork the CEO](3D" Psychopusher had [a hunch about how Farkers felt about a school = bus driver hitting the brakes to teach tiny passengers a lesson](3D") atomic-age found out [wh= at gets prioritized above fairly compensating employees](3D" Wart= hog pointed out [an importa= nt way in which Twitter has changed](=3D" Herbie555 [gave a giant douche a pass](3D") jams= poon described [why Medusa= didn't deserve the Gorgon treatment](=3D" Ecliptic shar= ed [what it's like living in a rural a= rea and having strangers turn around in your driveway](3D"=) SumoJe= b told us [how nice it is to= have a boss who isn't an asshat](3D"htt=) Unobtanium shared= a story illustrating [how useful Twit= ter can actually be](3D"h=) Bonus FarkStaff Pick: D= romaeosaur gave [advice for= men to potentially learn something about themselves that they might rather= not know](=3D" CSB Sunday Morning theme: [Show & Tell. Show us something cool of yours and tell us ab= out it](3D") Smart: Loris [saw a good deed rewarded with art](3D") Funny:&n= bsp;peachpicker showed off [a vintage treasure](3D" Politics Funny: = Teddy Brosevelt [taunted two deli= cate authoritarians](3D"ht=) NewportBarGuy considered = [what would happen after multiple people we= re indicted for allegedly working as Russian agents](3D") Angry Dr= unk Bureaucrat questioned [a= Texas bill requiring the Ten Commandments be posted in all public school c= lassrooms](3D" MythDragon explained [why Russian spy ships aren't as concealed as they think = they are in Nordic waters](3D") Please note that toddalmighty= [made this joke](3D".=), I didn't Bonus FarkStaff Pick: Meatsim1 knew&nbs= p;[why Florida quickly fired the company t= hat sent an emergency alert to mobile phones at 4:45 Thursday morning](3D") Politics Smart: Maybe you should drive = talked about [working in the police d= epartment's sex crimes unit](3D"https://w=) replacementcool discus= sed [accusations made against politica= l enemies](3D"=) scottydoesntknow examined [Donald Trump's logistical concerns about appearing = at trial](3D") baka-san explained [why some marketing is encouraging](3D") NewportBa= rGuy shared [what it's like = to be held accountable](3D"h=) Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted contest entri= es from last week Photoshops: Yammering_Splat_V= ector designed [a logo for= Elon Musk's X Corp](=3D" RedZoneTuba showed us [what happens when kitties don't appreciate be= ing judged](3D") chewd [put this bunny in danger](3D" GoodDoctorB found = [comic books in the Overland Hotel gift sho= p](3D") GoodDoctorB discovered that [longhorns can fly](3D") Yammering_Splat_Vector [built the Wafer Tower](3D"=) Snubnose found out [this= amphibian isn't always so shy](3D" Excelsior [put the ritz on](3D") RedZoneTuba = > [gave this butterfly a pair of heavenly = wings](3D") GoodDoctorB showed us that [handy cats can fly](3D") Farktography theme: [Mellow Yellow](3D".=) Lovesandwich [swam through the = canola](3D"htt=) Fark Headlines = of the Week A selection of some of the top headlines fro= m last week [Reset the cock](3D"https://=) [Two hikers rescued from Mount Chocorua before needing to be Frankenbu= ried](3D") [Coke™ Bear](3D"=) [RHESSI's pieces falling from = the sky tonight](3D") [Spac= eX flight ends in metaphor](3D"=) [My bit= ter Pill Ow](3D" [Evacu= ations unconfirmed, but get out of Sudan if you don't want to wind up in Kh= artoum in a Khartoum graveyard](3D"http=) [Adobe bringing denoise wi= th Lightroom update. Status of defunk unknown](3D") [Kelp. You know I need some seaweed. Kelp. Not just= any seaweed. Kelp. You know I need some seaweed. K-e-e-elp](3D") [Damar Hamlin cleared to return to the NFL 4 months after car= diac arrest. Proof that early CPR+AED defibrillation means you too can retu= rn to your job after death](3D") [New Horizon: Forbidden West update is never gonna= give you up, never gonna let you drown, never gonna float around and subme= rge you](3D") [F. Murray Abraham = was kicked off "Mythic Quest" for trying to convince his costars to F. Murr= ay Abraham](3D"https://=) Fark Weird = News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where I learned that clickb= ait links in the chumbox are intentionally that annoying because it gets mo= re clicks. After all, intelligent people looking for good content aren't go= ing to click on them anyway, and the kind of people who click on clickbait = aren't looking for intelligent headlines and images that capture what the a= rticle is about. We have three people in the 1000 club this week to take th= is basic anatomy quiz that 9 out of 10 adults can't pass, peruse the w= orld's biggest vegetables (#4 is HUGE) and cure their diabetes with this on= e simple trick after throwing out this vegetable immediately. = WoolyManwich came out on top with 1037, followed by w= earsmanyhats in second with 1019 and Denjiro= in third with 1015. jbc made fourth with 932, and&nb= sp;dionysusaur is right behind to round out the top five w= ith 931. The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was ab= out which movie was the biggest box office flop of 2022. Only 23% of quizta= kers knew that with Marvel-like production costs of about $180 million and = a marketing budget (including two featurettes) approaching $100 million, bu= t a box office run that raked in a paltry $73.6 million, Disney's "Strange = World" lost nearly $200 million for the studio. FWIW, "Black Adam" earned j= ust shy of $400 million against production and marketing of about $250 mill= ion, and between both its theater releases "Morbius" somehow made $178 mill= ion on a budget of half that amount. The easiest question on = last week's Hard Quiz was about which American beer Belgian authorities too= k great pleasure in destroying due to their slogan. 85% of quiztakers knew = the customs officials went all Kid Rock on 2,352 cans of Miller High Life, = not because they saw a commercial with someone they didn't like enjoying it= , but because Miller Coors had the audacity to call it "The Champagne = of Beers", and those waffle eaters are rather protective of.... France's cl= aim to the term. After all, we can't have any confused consumers thinking t= hey're actually getting champagne from a 16 oz aluminum can labeled "Made i= n the USA". The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was= about which Adult Swim animated series was getting a feature length instal= lment called, "Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart". Only 45% of quizt= akers recognized that Jackson Publick was the nom de plume of the series cr= eator of "The Venture Bros." The series ran for seven seasons from 2004-201= 8, while Metalocalypse ran for four seasons from 2006-2013, The eas= iest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about what the heck a quahog is.= 92% of quiztakers knew that Rhode Island's tourism board was sticking gian= t stuffed clams in airports around the country to entice people to come the= re for vacation. Because when I'm in an airport, the one thought that alway= s crosses my mind is "airports are so relaxing. I should come to even = more airports when I want to relax on a vacation." Also, if you check out&n= bsp;[the a= rtist's rendering](3D"=), I'm not quite sure it conveys what they want it to c= onvey. It looks more like yesterday's half-eaten burrito someone's trying t= o microwave on a saucer because the big plates are all in the dishwasher, w= hich I'm assuming is a regional delicacy found at Rhode Island college dorm= rooms. If you missed out last week, it's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D") now that you know a few of= the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it al= l again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1682533243-30893-25964--