Fark NotNewsletter: The Easter Bunny, Jesus' hot dogs, and cryptozoological sharks

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1681325054-97122-26459 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 20244](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone, hope your week's been well. We ac= tually did an Easter egg hunt at our house this past Sunday. The kids= are all teenagers now but they requested it - they have memories of doing = it when they were little and hey, free candy regardless. My favorite = Easter memory came about by complete accident about ten years ago. We= were pulling into the driveway the Saturday night before Easter and I saw = a bunny in our front yard. Totally forgetting what day tomorrow was, = I said "hey there's a bunny" and all three kids jumped up and exclaimed "IS= IT THE EASTER BUNNY?" They refused to believe it wasn't, and were so= excited they couldn't fall asleep until well after midnight. On a si= milar note, I was never able to convince them Santa Claus wanted beer inste= ad of milk. As parents, we decided not to tell them tha= t Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny etc. were real, however we let them figur= e out their own mythology from other kids. Which they mostly got righ= t, except for some reason Chance became convinced that Jesus lived in the c= hurch and spent most of his time eating hot dogs. I tried to explain = that Jesus was Jewish and there's a thing against eating pork but he wasn't= having any of it. He also decided the sun was a planet and that shar= ks weren't real. I didn't spend a lot of time trying to convince him = otherwise, I figured it would all shake out eventually. It did. = Thursday at 4 p.m. Eastern it's the [= Fark News Livestream](3D")! We had to late-cancel last week due to a la= ck of material, but that won't be happening this week. We've had an a= tmospheric river of weird news this week, so much that I'll be having troub= le figuring out what to cut. So much that I can't even tease it. = ; I will say that at least two of the articles are among the weirdest I've = ever read. And I've been doing this almost 25 years so that's saying = something. ________________________ End Dr= ew transmission ________________________ Top Comments Some= of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week Funny: Martian_Astronomer explained [how Elon Musk is fixing Twitter](3D") Nobody in Peculiar [helped a f= ellow Farker get a goth chick fix](=3D" brantgoose asked= a question about [Musk's attempt to = end the $258 billion Dogecoin racketeering lawsuit against him](3D"https=) Ass_Master_Flash [told Italy= what will happen if they keep trying to ban English](=3D" Lightin= g described [a reason aside = from wealth for having the couch set away from the wall](3D"h=) jbc = wanted to see [an unusual do= uble feature](3D=), [and then another one](3D"=)= bostonguy [made a dat= ed reference](=3D" kbronsito thought about [how tragedy could've been avoided by people climbi= ng a frozen waterfall](3D") WickerNipple knew [why a private Christian school would demand a s= exual abuse victim of a former coach sign a "hold harmless agreement" befor= e being allowed on the team](3D") kbronsito told us = ;[what a school resource officer who grab= bed a substitute teacher by the neck and dragged her down the hall did wron= g](3D") Smart: Walker discussed [a YouTuber who got shot while pranking a str= anger at the mall](3D") stoli n coke looked at [how Roseanne Barr farked up her chance for a c= omeback](3D") Boudyro talked about [some of the clueless things people sometimes say to childl= ess adults](3D") fiddlehead shared a tip for [having a peaceful and fair family Easter egg hun= t](3D") FormlessOne considered [the mentality that leads a person to stand behind glass doors = and windows to get video of a tornado](3D") Pocket Ninja = brought up [a phenomenon that is comm= only seen in Fark threads](3D"=) yahyahyah could understa= nd [what would cause someone to do som= ething foolish](3D"=) CSB Sunday Morning theme: ["Well that was unexpected" Smart: Petey4335](3D")[ran into an ex at a wedding](3D") Funny: MythDragon got to see [a = cartoon play out in real life](3D" Politics Funny: maddan could tell [why no= body applauded a speech Vladimir Putin gave in the Kremlin](3D" C= lash City Farker told us [th= e real reason for the 34-count felony indictment of Donald Trump](3D" null figured that [arrogantbastich had an appropriate snack prior to learning Tru= mp could possibly be charged with obstruction](3D" snowjack = ong> warned us about [the new United A= uto Workers president, Shawn Fain](3D"ht=) Monty_Zoncolan w= as [almost ready to go to civil war af= ter Trump's indictment](3D"=) Politics Smart: clay= tonemery looked at the plus= side of a Newsmax guest's rant that young protesters should be sent to a t= hird-world country Snapper Carr considered [what Marjorie Taylor Greene faced when she w= ent to protest Trump's indictment](3D") ThomasPaineTrain = shared [the proper way to remember th= e Confederacy](3D"=) JustSurfin discussed [problems young voters could run into](3D") = shastacola gave us some inf= ormation about the judge who ordered a hold on FDA approval of mifepristone= Top Contest Entries= u> Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week = Photoshops: rnatalie [did not impress Miss Lily Brayton](3D") Driver = ng> found out that [Florida Gov. Ron D= eSantis is not going to have us making fun of his boots again](3D"http=) Yammering_Splat_Vector was [playing with a glass shuttlecock](3D" RedZoneTuba [gave this lamp a new look](3D") Yamm= ering_Splat_Vector [did the thing= with the center square](3D=) clovercat showed that = ;[Trump fans figured out how to keep boat= s from sinking at their boat parades](3D") RedZoneTuba's&= nbsp;[touristy picture got photobombed](3D")GoodDoctorB felt like= dancing clovercat [played with water towers](3D" clovercat showed us&nbs= p;[an astronaut enjoying an art installati= on](3D") Farktography theme: [Bent and Broken](3D") Lovesandwich [photographed a Swamp Ghost](3D"). Jinkies! Fark Headlines of the Week= > A selection of some of the top headlines from last week Attacking a Pepsi driver on the road? What are you, some kind of Coke= fiend? [♫ Finland, Finland, Finland, you're now a fu= ll NATO country ♫ Your borders protected, no Russians will call ϗ= 5; Finland, Finland, Finland...Finland has it all ♫](3D"https://=) [WHO warns of = new Omicron variant. Scientists, presumably](3D") [Ruby Bridges again w= ins a fight to enter an elementary school](3D") [Massive ring of = flamboyantly costumed groomers exposed in Baltimore](3D") [Mother do you think they'll like= this song?](3D") [Bob Knight is battling an "undisclose= d illness." Throw him your thoughts and chairs](3D"http=) [Salmon are now Salmoff](3D") Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by = ;ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz this we= ek, where I learned car forums are sometimes a better place to get informat= ion on car repair than YouTube, and also that Yogi Berra had an illici= t silverware collection. On the Quiz itself, JasonOfOrillia= > came out on top with 1015, but since the big screen's on the fritz we're = going to be stuck watching "The Room" on a 13" Chromebook in the 1000 club.= rick42 came in second with 989, with gu= nsmack right behind with 988. poorjon made f= ourth with 981, and Last of the Hippies is also last = of the top five with 971. The hardest question on last week's= Hard Quiz was about which automaker was recalling 140,000 SUVs and warning= people not to sit in the front passenger seat because the airbag might not= deploy. Only 40% of quiztakers knew that it was Volkswagen who was running= into issues with the sensor that determined whether the seat was occupied = in their Atlas and Atlas Cross Sport models. I'm guessing the other 60% wer= e like me and unaware Volkswagen sold an SUV in the US, much less that it h= ad sold 140,000 of them. We never had recalls and warnings that your l= ife was at risk for sitting in a particular seat before they started p= utting airbags in cars, just sayin'. The easiest question fro= m last week's Hard Quiz was about what invention we just celebrated the 50t= h anniversary of. 81% of quiztakers knew that Dr. Marty Cooper, then an&nbs= p;engineer with Motorola, made the first handheld cell phone call from the = streets of Manhattan on April 3, 1973. The great thing about this was that,= it being New York, he knew he could walk around talking to a 2 1/2 lb. bri= ck held to his head and no one would pay any attention. Fun fact: he didn't= call his mother, something I'm sure he heard about everything Thanksgiving= , but instead a rival engineer at AT&T's Bell Labs to tell him his team= had beaten them to the punch. So yes, the very first cell phone call was a= n unsolicited advertisement from a phone company, The hardest quest= ion on last week's Easy Quiz was about what the producers at "The View" did= to reduce sounds resembling flatulence that were making it on the air. Onl= y 36% of quiztakers knew that they've always had cloth furniture, and the s= ounds were coming from their ceramic mugs scraping across the glass. I mean= , if it were me, I would have told them to just drink their wine out of win= eglasses like everyone else instead of ceramic coffee mugs like they'r= e a bunch of broke college students, but I guess that's why I'm not a dayti= me talk show producer. The easiest question on last week's Easy Qui= z was about which beer brand had lots of people in a tizzy on social media = for daring to pay for an ad by a trans influencer. 82% of quiztakers knew t= hat Kid Rock, who for some reason has aged two decades in the last couple o= f years, decided to shoot several cases of Bud Light to show.... I dunno, t= hat he just bought several cases of the product he's mad at? Maybe no one s= hould tell him that Happy Dad, the seltzer brand he endorses, previously co= llaborated with Caitlyn Jenner and featured her on their social media. = ; If you missed out last week, it's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D") now that you know a few of the a= nswers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all agai= n on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1681325054-97122-26459--