Fark NotNewsletter: New business idea

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1678293418-94299-28085 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 79802](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 I don't know about you, but I have a backlog o= f services that I need to change over to different providers. I mean, I nee= d to change financial institutions, internet providers, health and car insu= rance companies, wireless carriers, pharmacies, and basically everything el= se to less evil companies. The problem is, it takes a buttload of time to r= esearch how evil the alternatives are, how much they cost, how reliable the= y are, and all the other things that factor into deciding where to keep spe= nding money. So what we need is a service where they'll do al= l this research for you, and then they'll switch things over for you and th= en update what needs updating (like changing the billing info on all your a= ccounts to the new financial institution). In fact, this business can offer= a subscription service that will keep an eye on everything for when one of= the places that's taking your money inevitably does something evil, then t= hey'll start the process all over again. The only problem is that eventuall= y this theoretical company will probably do something evil, and then you'll= need them to switch you over to an alternative to themselves. Ther= e's no special message from Drew Curtis this week, and no = [Fark News Livestream](3D") either. Drew must be off doin= g Drew stuff. Maybe he's busy drawing things, because you have to Draw befo= re you can Drew. XOXO, DisseminationMonkey= trong> Fark Fiction Anthol= ogy Accepting Submissions (A special message from= toraque) The 2023 Fark Fiction Antholo= gy is now accepting submissions! Once again, we've assembled a crack team o= f editors and readers to bring the world the best short fiction that Fark h= as to offer. For the eighth year in a row, we'll be assembling and publishi= ng the best of the best as Amazon trade paperback and Kindle e-book edition= s, and all proceeds will go to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, so ev= en if you don't want to bask in the glory of publishing your genius to the = world, you can still support a good cause! We're looking for origin= al, unpublished short fiction of less than 10,000 words in length in the fo= llowing genres: Fantasy! Science Fiction! Humor! H= orror! Suspense/mystery/thriller! (and Anything= Else, Really! Because if it's good, we'll make it work!) = This year we'd love to help support underrepresented voices and look forwar= d to hearing from all writers, so get your brilliance to us by [sending it in at our submissions page](3D")! If = you'd like to check out previous years' Fark Fiction Anthologies, here they= are: [Heart of Farkness: The 2016 Fark Fiction Anthology](3D"=) [Throu= gh a Scanner Farkly: The 2017 Fark Fiction Anthology](3D") [Everybody Panic: The 20= 18 Fark Fiction Anthology](3D") Oh, No, Not Again!: The 2019 Fark Fiction Anthology [Fark in the= Time of Covid: The 2020 Fark Fiction Anthology](3D") [Need Help Soonish: The 2= 021 Fark Fiction Anthology](3D") Doomscrolling: The 2022 Fark Fiction An= thology Top Comments= u> Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from= the past week Funny: puffy999 reacte= d to [news that Alex Murdaugh was foun= d guilty of murder](3D"=) Badmoodman told us [how Andrew Tate was able to tweet about the ghost= in his prison cell](3D") Juc was [confused by NewportBarGuy's comment about= which way toilet paper should hang](3D") ThomasPaineTrain = g> [justified spending an exorbitant amount= of money](3D") Sin'sHero had a use for [Irving Maimway's description of Elon= Musk's management style](3D") aerojockey [defended someone who chose to major in English](3D") Stile4aly showed us [t= he evidence against Alex Murdaugh](3D" Warthog knew&nbs= p;[what happens when you sell Girl Scout c= ookies outside of gay bars](3D") Super Chronic pointed o= ut [the stupidity of a Hungry Jack's e= mployee's question](3D"=) EvilEgg [wanted a specific type of floorplan](3D" Smart:= Cheron shared a story about [pitching in and working extra hard and long hours to help an e= mployer meet a deadline](3D") BizarreMan [shared a story about not sharing with the sheriff](3D") = raerae1980 showed us [an awesome gift from Jamie Lee Curtis](3D" Benevolent Misanthro= pe gave a partial explanation of [why the the murder trial of Alex Murdaugh got so much attention](3D" H31N0US reminded us [how much fun landlines are](3D" iheartscotch [played traffic hero](3D") Bob_Laublaw = posted [a law blog about a= venue taking 47% of a band's merchandise revenue](3D"https:=) Felgraf = strong> discussed [the importance of = studying the humanities as well as STEM](3D"https=) CSB Sunday Morning = theme: [Finding something when or where you least expected= it](3D"=) Smart: little big man's [little big dad found a murder weapon in the wa= ll](3D") Funny: west.la.lawyer spotted&nbs= p;[the elusive pink car](3D") Po= litics Funny: weddingsinger [found Scott Adams to be credible](3D" X-Geek = > [improved a "Cyanide and Happiness" take= on a "Dilbert" comic](3D") You'd turn it off when I was halfway a= cross revealed [how Donald= Trump Jr. prepares for his extemporaneous speeches](=3D" Petit_Me= rdeux described [how Rep. A= lexandria Ocasio-Cortez kills jobs](=3D" Karma Chameleon = noticed [the real problem with the Bi= dens' night out](3D"=) Politics Smart: keiverarrow= looked at [the argument tha= t companies have free speech rights to label sugary cereals as "healthy"](3D"ht=)= > BlousyBrown shared an example of [Marjorie Taylor Greene being the respectful type of pers= on she claims is gone now](3D"), and WrongTrousers [posted the follow-up](3D") Private_C= itizen discussed [the legacy= of the Branch Davidian cult](=3D" koder had [a suggestion for an appointee to Ron DeSantis' D= isney oversight board who thinks tap water is turning people gay](3D") Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week Pho= toshops: markie_farkie [carefully searched for pricing errors](3D" opalakea = ong> [took a trip to Hooterville](3D") GoodDoctorB [sent this preda= tor packing](3D"h=) Yammering_Splat_Vector [had a heavenly peacock](3D") Snubnose = showed off some [sexy new dancewear](3D"https:/=)= > Yammering_Splat_Vector [had the operator on the line](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector = rong> [found that these two lovebirds final= ly made it official](3D") Driver [gave us the Dik-dik Butt we never knew we needed](3D" jaylight2003 [put a pretty hair = accessory on Sally](3D"http=) RedZoneTuba [monarched a monarch](3D") Farktography theme:&= nbsp;[Power 2](3D") This Farktography contes= t ended in a self-tie with orionid's [smokin' hot tendrils](3D") and orionid= rong>'s [Three Mile Island snap](3D"=) Fark Headlines of the Week= u> A selection of some of the top headlines from last week [Six tourists injured when rhinos charge= their car in India. Next time they'll use electricity](3D") [160 years after the Battle of Chancellorsville, the U.S. Navy f= inally defeats the Confederates](3D") [The cops have eyes everywhere](3D") [AIPA=](3D" [Transportation minister resigns a= fter failing to handle Greece fire. Know your extinguishers](3D"=) [South Carolina lawy= er found guilty of Murdaugh](3D") [Pointy-haired boss expresses his support for = Dilbert](3D") [Colin Kaepernick is publish= ing a book of Black authors in response to attacks on African-American stud= ies. For NFL fans outraged by Kaepernick, a book is a means of transmitting= information via words printed on paper rectangles and bound together](3D"https://=) [Robert F Kennedy considers run for presiden= t, campaigns against receiving unwanted shots](3D") [Low calorie sweetener erythritol, an ingredi= ent in some low carb foods, linked to significantly higher risk of heart at= tacks and blood clots. This study brought to you by the makers of Sweet'N L= ow](3D") [Flo= rida man finds a bivalve as old as Abraham Lincoln. Rather than making chow= der, he decides NOT to keep clam, and carries on](3D"=) [Great Pyramid of Giza was built by people who were completely and literall= y blind](3D") [Dogs of Chernobyl have different genes, few tentacles](3D"https://=) [Elon, stu= ck on a problem that can't be solved by throwing unlimited amounts of money= at it, resorts to manual labor. And it works](3D") [What's worse than owning a= Chevette? Owning 27 of them](3D") [White Dungeness crab na= med Sour Cream steals our hearts, rotting leftovers](3D") Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to y= ou by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Qu= iz last week, where we learned that sometimes ebay sellers will try to make= it right when you don't get exactly what you paid for. On the Quiz itself,= Captain Orr came in first with 1010 and is joined in the = 1000 club by spudbeach, who scored 1006. Unfortunatel= y we ordered refreshments from an ebay seller in Norway and they're being h= eld up in customs. Denjiro came in third with 993, Xanadone made fourth with 929, and runwiz= ng> and ThePuceGuardian tied for fifth with 924. = The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about where you can p= ick up some Krispy Kreme donuts in Kentucky. Only 26% of quiztakers knew th= at 160 McDonald's locations in the state were reselling the donuts to = dunk in their coffee. Which does lead me to wonder that this bodes for= the future, especially with fast food items that have long shelf lives lik= e donuts. Panera Bread bread bowls filled with Wendy's chili? Domino's brea= dsticks covered in Chipotle's shredded chicken and pico de gallo? The = future is a confusing and frightening place. The easiest question o= n last week's Hard Quiz was about Mexico's President Manuel Lóp= ez Obrador and the picture he posted last weekend that he said was an "Alex= e." 70% of quiztakers knew that an Alexe was a mischievous woodland spirit = from the culture of the Mayans. Some might view it as concerning when their= president is posting pictures of mythical creatures, but personally, I fin= d it refreshingly traditionalist that he's posting locally sourced mytholog= y and not blurry pictures of aliens like other world leaders seem to have m= oved on to. The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about= the UK's final stamp bearing the silhouette of Queen Elizabeth II, which w= ill honor The Flying Scotsman. Only 47% of quiztakers knew that The Flying = Scotsman is the LNER Class A3 4472 steam locomotive named for the express r= oute between Edinburgh and London. The locomotive set two notable records, = being the first steam locomotive to reach 100 mph in 1934, and making the l= ongest non-stop run by a steam locomotive when it did 422 miles on a route = in Australia back in 1989. And you can see it occasionally pop up in movies= and new episodes of "Thomas and Friends" voiced by British actor Rufus Jon= es. The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which b= and has finally announced the end to their "End of the Road" tour that's be= en going on since 2019. 83% of quiztakers knew that KISS would be finally c= alling it quits as a band in their home of New York City later this year. O= zzy should probably take note - instead of just coming up with new tours af= ter announcing your retirement, you can just never end your retirement tour= . If you missed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D") now that you know a few o= f the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doin= g it all again this week. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1678293418-94299-28085--