Fark NotNewsletter: Greetings from the year 3923

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1677089008-50500-28631 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 63324](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone, hope your week's been well. Noticed yesterday that we're about two months past winter solstice, = which is great progress but not enough for me. I spend a ton of time = outdoors so I'm just waiting for longer days and warmer weather. Hasn= 't been a bad winter here in Kentucky but I'm a little worried a mild winte= r means a gross summer. We'll see. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying the = extra daylight. Temps hiat record highs here today but I couldn't mov= e to my porch office because the winds were up over 40mph. So it goes= . A few folks wrote in saying that all of Fark's links = and comments jumped [1900 years into the future](3D"https://=) sometime on Monday afternoon. Just w= anted to let everyone know that you didn't see anything and no it didn't.&n= bsp; I deny all wrongdoing. Moving on. At 4 p.m. Thursday it'= s the [Fark News Livestream](3D") with the whole gang.&nb= sp; Finally there are no balloons in the news, however lots of Ukraine stuf= f plus for some reason a whole-ass gator onslaught. Still not sure ho= w to cover that last one, none of the stories are by themselves particularl= y funny but it's super weird to see more than five gator stories in the new= s cycle in the past 48 hours. Not sure what it means. Anyone ha= ve any guesses? ________________________ End Drew transmission ________________________ Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week Funny: Noticeably F.A.T. [liked having options](3D"), as bingethinker pointed out some_beer_drinker [corrected Jake Havechek's observation ab= out a punk-ass dolphin](3D") OdradekRex [extrapolated what dolphins' behavior would be in other sit= uations based on their actions in a paddleboarding video](3D") Ang= ry Drunk Bureaucrat thought [NuclearPenguins' travel plans needed some work](3D" Kalyco Jack shared [wh= at happens when a business blasts opera music in an attempt to keep unhouse= d people from loitering](3D" Devolving_Spud shared more= information about [when a garbage tru= ck has to dump its entire load because its contents are on fire](3D"http=) raerae1980 [regretted the dec= ision to read a certain article](3D"htt=) GardenWeasel had&n= bsp;[a message from an airline after a bump= y flight](3D") Elliot8654 reminded us about [the true purpose of the Super Bowl](3D") MythDragon explained [why i= t's wrong to make jokes about someone's death resulting from a catalytic co= nverter theft gone wrong](3D" Smart: Martian_Ast= ronomer pointed out that [Tw= itter made a wise move](3D" Psychopusher speculated on&= nbsp;[the outcome of suing a law school for= dropping your slave-owning great-great grandfather's name](3D") b= rax33 [redid the math on a plane = plunge panic](3D".=) Cheese on Cheerios figured [a man suing a law school for dropping a slave-o= wning ancestor's name favors consistency](3D") Somaticasual = ng> took a guess at [the cause of an a= irplane's sudden and unwelcome descent](3D"htt=) EZbaked fou= nd [proof that a dolphin planned its a= ttack on a paddleboarder](3D"=) sorceror discussed how AIs like ChatGPT work ed= mo pointed out that one com= mon suggestion to increase police accountability would not be an entirely n= ew practice claytonemery shared [how elementary school students reacted to the main less= on of a Dr. Seuss book](3D") CSB Sunday Morning theme: = [The best date you= ever went on](3D") Smart: Caelistis told = us about [a long, sweet date](3D"=) Funny: Gulper Eel had [the best seat in the house](3D") Politics Funny:= Angry Drunk Bureaucrat [got a political discussion started down the right path](3D" karl2025 [had complicated fe= elings](3D"https:=) Badmoodman asked [a question about handwriting discrepancies](3D") Impe= ndingCynic [made a wise choice](3D"https:/=)= > Squid_for_Brains had [a question about Chinese surveillance balloons being shot down](3D" Politics Smart: Driedsponge had = [a hunch about how recovery will go for the= damage from the train derailment in East Palestine, Ohio](3D") eu= rotrader argued that [there'= s no need to compromise Social Security](3D" BizarreMan = looked at [what would happen if Diann= e Feinstein resigned instead of finishing out her term](3D".=) Priva= te_Citizen pointed out [one = of the effects raising the Social Security retirement age to 70, as House R= epublicans want, would mean](3D" Pocket Ninja had a sug= gestion for [what the College Board sh= ould do about Ron DeSantis banning certain AP courses in Florida](3D"=) Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week Pho= toshops: Dodo David [put Homer in a quieter workplace](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector = created [the magnificent Hy= pnocat](3D"https=) samsquatch showed us that [Saturn's moon Enceladus has its own Atlas to hold it a= loft](3D") whatsupchuck [took a jog around the control room](3D" jaylight2003 = knew [what every cat really wants](3D"=)RedZoneTuba had an in= strument to show off samsquatch [helped make some space music](3D") Yammering_Spla= t_Vector cooked up a minera= l-rich dinner Godscrack discovered [the elusive seaharp](3D") Godscrack = g> showed when [Earth was the target o= f a run-by fruiting](3D"https://=) Farktography theme: [Motion Pictures](3D") beerrun= g> showed us [just how fast those runs= for beer can be](3D"=) Fark = Headlines of the Week A selection of some of the top hea= dlines from last week [Chile woman becomes fi= rst to swim over 1-1/2 miles in Antarctica, is now even chilear](=3D") [Sounds like a ewe problem](3D") [Kentucky Baby Drop Off Box t= urning out to be a success, replacing the questionable Take a Baby, Leave a= Baby tray](3D") [Carpenter= finds Treesus Christ](3D"https=) Lucky the cat is apparently misnamed, as after managing to make it 1= ,400 miles from Florida, someone dragged her back [Philippine Coast Guard accuses China of = directing "military-grade" laser at one of its ships, driving the cat bonke= rs](3D") [Montana once again tables bill t= o replace Columbus Day with Indigenous Peoples Day, electing to honor not t= hose who've lived here for millennia, but Italian-American culture and the = hapless seafarer for which land-locked Montana is primarily known](3D"=) [We're gonna need a bigger Ba= tman](3D") [Alec {NAME} t= o resume shooting](3D"=) [Ford to cut 1,300 jobs in the U.K. after it was discovered steering wheels= were being placed on the wrong side of the car](=3D") [Tuesday Morning never got t= he hang of Thursdays and has had enough of this Monday Friday business, fil= es for bankruptcy this Wednesday](3D") [Orange yo= u worried about this citrus virus? You'd better get juiced to it and not ge= t pithed, because this could be the best of limes and the worst of limes. S= o squeeze the day](3D") Fark= Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy= rong>) Another fun time on this week's Quiz, where we learned ChatG= PT isn't quite up to the task of writing trivia questions on this week's ne= ws. But it is as good as advertised when it comes to mimicking style. = On the Quiz itself, No Catchy Nickname with 1136, wildcardjack= ong> with 1034, and TheMothership with 1031 all made = it into the 1000 club, although No Catchy Nickname an= d wildcardjack had the advantage of receiving more qu= estions than anyone else. Last of the Hippies made se= cond with 991, George Santos' taint received 961 which is = the best score ever received on any Fark Quiz in the history of forever, WoolyManwich made fourth with 954, and coscaust= icevil came in fifth with 944. The hardest question on las= t weeks' Hard Quiz was a STEM tab question about another method scientists = are looking at to keep cows from giving off so much methane while they chew= their cud. Only 29% of quiztakers caught the article about how baby kangar= oos don't seem to poop out methane-containing chemicals, which is probably = a genetic evolution so mommy kangaroos aren't hopping around with a pouch f= ull of flammable gas. Scientists have found the bacteria from the joey poop= seem to displace the usual methane-producing bacteria in the artificial co= w stomachs in the lab for weeks and even months at a time, news which I'm s= ure fascinates the scientists' Tinder dates. The easiest question o= n last week's Hard Quiz was about what was stolen from the Oscar Mayer Wien= ermobile while parked in a Las Vegas hotel parking lot over the weeken= d. 93% of quiztakers knew that some vastly intelligent thieves reasoned tha= t since it has a motor and an emissions inspection sticker, it must have a = catalytic converter. So they relieved the giant wiener of said burden and n= ow have bragging rights when they get together with other catalytic convert= er thieves to tell tales of their experiences in the industry. The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about another Hollywood= remake, this one re-releasing on March 3. Only 32% of quiztakers knew that= "Children of the Corn" is one of the most prolific franchises in horror, w= ith eight sequels to the original and now a second remake. While "Halloween= " has thirteen films, only one was a remake (Rob Zombie's 2007 film), and t= he latest sequel ("Halloween Ends") was released October 14, 2022 and= is currently available on Amazon Prime. The easiest question= on last week's Easy Quiz was about which team won the Superb Owl. It turns= out 98% of quiztakers either watched the game or work with a Kansas City f= an, because they all got it right. If you missed out last wee= k, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird Ne= ws Quiz](=3D". Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing = it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. 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