Fark NotNewsletter: You can't do Dry January when your house is flooded

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1672874394-22001-31814 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 04102](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone, hope your new year is well It's b= een the slowest news week I can remember in quite awhile. House Speaker she= nanigans appear to have sucked up what little media resources were availabl= e post-holidays. Either that or people stopped doing truly weird stuf= f other than that one Walrus in the UK - don't google that from work btw.&n= bsp; So we're gonna kick the [Fark News Livestream= a> until next week - we'll all be back January 12th. _________= _______________ End Drew transmission= m> ________________________ Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest a= nd funniest comments from the past week Funny: = gameshowhost welcomed us to [TikTok classes teaching Microsoft Excel](3D" Nick Nostril = ong> learned something alarming about [getting rid of old routers](3D" kmgenesis23 [defended Southwest Airlines amid a spate of cancele= d flights](3D") gameshowhost knew [how Southwest tracks their flights](3D") Kubo = trong> [refused to give in to fads](3D") Warthog told us [what= happens if your luggage rolls away from the plane before it can be loaded BizarreMan explained](3D" a professor who a tarot-reading TikToker claimed murdered four= University of Idaho students was not a suspect](3D" [Here's the TikTok tarot reader story](3D") gfbabbitt = ong> figured out [where Scientology = leader David Miscavige was hiding](3D"https:=) LordOfThePings t= ried to decipher [something that was= written on a wall in a house that's listed for sale](3D"https:=) beezelt= own was [ready to make an o= ffer on that house](3D"https=) Smart: tom baker's scarf= pointed out [just how great= a person Dolly Parton is](3D"=) 95629 discussed [the tracking system behind Southwest's breakd= own](3D") edmo envied k= ids today Three Crooked Squirrels gave [advice to anyone who's trying to get Social Secu= rity disability benefits approved](3D") Raymond Perjurytrap = ng> thought that [a police chief mig= ht have missed part of a man's heroic story](3D"https:=) NeoCortex42 = rong> had [praise for Nicolas Cage](3D"=)= EvilEgg explained why [losing fluorescent lightbulbs that contain mercury would break any = hearts](3D" CSB Sunday Morning theme: [What's made the world a smaller place for you?](3D") Smart: ace in your face met](3D=)[a sister from another mister](3D") Funny:&n= bsp;2dogsrunning didn't = want to be outed Politics Funny: Badmoodman= shared [two beautiful Chri= stmas scenes](3D"https=) NateAsbestos contemplated the prospec= t of [the U.S. sending Bradley Fightin= g Vehicles to Ukraine](3D"=) Stile4aly wasn't [ready for Kanye "Ye" West's latest endeavors](3D")= OldRod knew [how= the founder of the Florida Blockchain Business Association ended his Janua= ry 6 testimony](3D" Tr0mBoNe revealed [the best way to spot an alpha male](3D") Pol= itics Smart: gilgigamesh described [what made Greta Thunberg's reply to Andrew Tate so = effective](3D") fragMasterFlash considered [the huge spike in electricity prices and power out= ages as Texas was hat by a bomb cyclone](3D") hubiestubert = g> wondered [how Republican governors = are managing to pull off parts of their stunt to send asylum seekers to oth= er locations](3D"=) Chariset had [a heartfelt Christmas message for Donald Trump](3D") Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week Photosh= ops: samsquatch's [truck might get stuck in your head](3D" damat01 = [kept warm on a cold winter night](3D") retrophil [drove us to M= adness](3D=) Yammering_Splat_Vector thought [it might be too cold to sleep in the barn](3D") = damat01 [gave this gang a= new family crest](3D"ht=) RedZoneTuba [found self acceptance](3D") RedZoneTuba [busted out](3D") Vortex Dweller = rong> had [a cross to bear](3D"=) RedZoneTuba wanted to [s= hare some tomatoes](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector discover= ed [something Pootie-Poot can't ride= a> Farktography theme:](3D"=)[Around the House 2](3D") bobug [bombed the bath with pastel foam](3D") Fark Headlines of the Week A= selection of some of the top headlines from last week [Explosio= ns reported in Engels, Russia. No word if they left any Marx](3D") [Kickboxer Andrew Tate: Owner of 33 hig= h-end automobiles. Teenager Greta Thunberg: Owner of one kickboxer](3D") = [Man dies in Paisley crash after being unable to see the traffic pa= ttern](3D") [♫ Brave Sir Putin ran away. Bravely = ran away, away; when Ukraine reared its ugly head, he bravely to his bunker= fled. When launching submarines of doom, he bravely did it via Zoom. Yes, = brave Sir Putin turned about, and Sovietly chickened out ♫](3D"=) [Imagine if you will a = planeload of people for whom 2022 never ended. You are entering the Interna= tional Date Line Zone](3D") Ap= ple says Mac is terrible [Broncos fire Nathaniel Hackett. Guess he couldn't](3D")= [10 MLB umps retiring this year. ML= B asked Angel Hernandez to retire as well, but he missed the call](3D"=) [Nine for Mortal Men, Doome= d to Die](3D") [Cheesy pecan bites = and giant grilled cheeses. Stuffed pieces of tofu and cheeseballs in pieces= . Horseradish dressing that's worthy of kings. These are a few of Claire's = cheesiest things](3D"https:/=) [Good King Wenceslas looked out... On the Fe= ast of Stephen... As no snow lay round about... "How will resorts break eve= n?" Brightly shone the slopes with light... Making snow with tools... Water= use will not be slight... You clueless human fools](3D=) Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to y= ou by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on t= he Quiz last week, and it looks like most people got it before their New Ye= ar's Day hangovers. On the Quiz itself, SoundOfOneHandWanking= ng> comes out on top with 1015, sharing the 1000 club with Has= san Ben Sobr, who was just behind in second with 1014. Unfortunate= ly, all we have is some leftover hog jowl and blackeyed peas, but we do hav= e Glass Onion on the big screen. HighwayBill= rong> made third with 995, runwiz made fourth with 985, an= d Cndn Bacon made it into the top five with 982. = The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about a Corsi-Ro= senthal Box. Only 40% of quiztakers knew that it was a fancy name for a box= made of air filters with one side made from a box fan blowing outwards, na= med for the engineer who came up with the idea and the air filter CEO = who helped test it out. An updated version called the Comparetto Cube = replaces the side opposite the fan with plain cardboard so that i= t can sit on the floor with the fan blowing upwards. Of course, it's n= ot as friendly as the Companion Cube, nor as helpful in solving puzzles.&nb= sp; The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about Boxing Day and = why it's not a celebration of the Marquess of Queensbury. 81% of quiztakers= knew that even though it's not named for his sport, he very likely celebra= ted like his peers by bestowing upon his servants boxed leftovers from his = Christmas feast the day before. I mean, seriously, it started with them not= allowing servants to take leftovers the night of Christmas, so by the time= the servants got the food., it was often congealed and a bit manky, t= here being no refrigerators or Tupperware in those days. In practice, those= with servants who understood that those servants would be handling their&n= bsp;food for the next year would often have something prepared specially on= Boxing Day so it was nice and fresh. The hardest question on= the Easy Quiz was about which Olympic sport would be allowing men to parti= cipate beginning in Paris in 2024. Only 42% of quiztakers knew that men wou= ld be able to join women in the Artistic Swimming event, which you know bet= ter as being called "synchronized swimming" the last time you watched it ba= ck in 1988. (FINA officially changed the name in 2017, and the Tokyo Olympi= cs followed suit when they finally were able to be held in 2021). This mean= s that the only two remaining single-sex sports are rhythmic gymnastic= s (that's the floor routine with the ribbon) in the Summer Olympics, which = is open only to women, and the Nordic Combined (cross-country skiing and sk= i jumping) in the winter, which is open only to men. The= easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which artist was still= making donations to children's hospitals in Manchester, England, five= years after a bomb outside her concert killed 22 people and injured many o= thers. 90% of quiztakers knew that the yearly toy donations were Ariana Gra= nde's way of thanking the hospitals that had taken care of her fans followi= ng the horrific event. If you missed last week, now's a great= time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D"=) now that= you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, = and we'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. 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