Fark NotNewsletter: Watch out for Storm on the roads

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1668624663-94171-34487 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 43944](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ___________________= _____ Hey everyone, hope your week's been well. Thanksgiving sure blew in out of nowhere. My family is prepari= ng for a trek to my sister's place in extreme northern Chicago. Storm= finally learned how to drive so as a reward/punishment I'm going to make h= im drive across Indiana. It would be the worst part of the drive exce= pt that we're going to stop halfway across and visit Dill over at Strange B= rew Coffee, possibly on both passes through Indianapolis depending on what = time of day we head out. That will be determined by what day we leave= . I'm waiting on the other two kids to tell me if anything of value i= s going on in school Monday or Tuesday or if it's going to be a 16-hour fil= m festival Speaking of Thanksgiving, this week we had the first sig= hting of the AAA "There will be traffic on Thanksgiving" article. Tur= ns out, there will be traffic. Thanks for that news flash, AAA, this = year and every other year except 2020. Also of note for holiday trave= lers - betting markets are betting on which airline will have the most canc= ellations, and so far Alaska and Frontier lead the pack. Good luck if= you're flying on either of those airlines. But I'm sure all the othe= r airlines will have a seamless, cancellation-free weekend. On a rela= ted note, I also hope no one was planning to fly to Buffalo this weekend...= . Speaking of the [Fark News Livestream](3D"ht=) = - it's me Dill and Christine this week; Lucky's running amok up in Michigan= buying a church for some new religion he's starting. That last sente= nce is entirely true, by the way. Anyhow, it's been a great week for = weird. We'll be covering the Case of the Stolen Ukrainian Racoon, the= latest on the Twitter debacle, and somehow the Teletubbies appear to have = had babies - we'll speculate on how this might have happened. I'm gue= ssing something to do with those things on their heads. 4 p.m. Easter= n Thursday. ________________________ End D= rew transmission ________________________ = Top Comments Som= e of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week Funny: SpectroBoy [gave Elon Musk one heck of a compliment](3D" fragMasterFl= ash [promoted a new show](3D"=) Anderson's Pooper got rea= dy for comedian Gallagher's funeral stoli n coke c= ame up with [more ideas for KFC's Kris= tallnacht promotion in Germany](3D"=) Too-Tall [did the math that really matters for the Powerball j= ackpot](3D") AmbassadorBooze described [Twitter at its best](3D") WickerNipple = ng> spotted [a huge problem with Chuck= Tingle's new novel about "Twiddor"](3D"=) Yaw String had= [an urgent legal question for Slate= a> X-Geek](3D")[saw no pro= blem with a long-sleeved coat](=3D" schubie expressed&nb= sp;[condolences for a man who ate 10 Caroli= na Reaper peppers in 33.15 seconds](3D") Smart: X= ythero pointed out the most= depressing aspect of watching Elon Musk's farkery with Twitter Driedsponge considered [how awesome it must be to work for Musk](3D" puffy999 = showed [what it looks like inside the= cockpit of the type of WWII fighter plane that appeared to fly into a= WWII bomber at a Dallas air show](3D"=) scottydoesntknow = [spoke about Gallagher's death](3D") Creepy Lurker Guy told us about [taking a ride in a B-17](3D" toraque discus= sed [the value of Twitter](3D"=) Smurfnazi420 shared a story a= bout meeting Gordon Lightfoot Someone Else's Alt = ng> told us about [being pulled over = while moving from New Jersey to North Carolina](3D"https=) CSB Sunday M= orning theme: [That time being unselfish paid off](3D"http=) Smart:&nb= sp;The Why Not Guy shared [a story about change](3D" Funny: Cafe Threa= ds [went from babysitting to baby= daddy](3D"=) Politics Funny: SpectroBoy = shared a story about [the great break= room TV news channel brouhaha](3D"h=) I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For T= hat looked at [other things = you're no longer allowed to make fun of on Twitter](3D=) WrongTrou= sers figured out [where one = of the January 6 defendants posts adult content for a subscription fee](=3D" was [an a= ctive participant on Election Day](3D" Sub Human invest= igated [Trump's claim that "they stole= the Electron from Blake Masters"](3D"=) Politics Smart: SpectroBoy shared a story about [the great break room TV news channel brouhaha](3D" ko= der figured out [how to sol= ve problems with voting machines Trump claims are happening in Republican d= istricts](=3D" Megathuma used [this one weird trick to encourage college students to vote](3D" [discussed = Generation Z voters](=3D" Uchiha_Cycliste shared a theor= y about [why Republicans are so hung u= p on Hunter Biden](3D"=) Top = Contest Entries Some of the top-voted contest entries fr= om last week Photoshops: Stephen_Falken = g> had us make [a really tough decisio= n](3D"https://=) Yammering_Splat_Vector [gave Donald Trump a new wardrobe](3D" RedZoneTuba = g> [got help from Johnny with this pterodac= tyl feather brooch](3D") Yammering_Splat_Vector [did not see why Fox News shouldn't get a new build= ing](3D") Yammering_Splat_Vector decided that [swans aren't fancy enough](3D") Stephe= n_Falken revealed North Kor= ea's unbeatable strategy RedZoneTuba [hopped the train](3D") RedZoneTuba put the "ass" in "glass" Yam= mering_Splat_Vector [gave this = figure a reason to scream](=3D" whatsupchuck [caught these guys playing around on the job](3D") Farktography theme: [Open= Mic 2](3D") Elsinore [m= ade an umbrella out of water](3D" Fark Headlines of the Week A selection of some of= the top headlines from last week [What's the sixth most valuable crop in = the US? 'Taint corn, it's dope](3D") [Shots fired into York house. Police should be on the lookout for those= wearing the the Red Rose of Lancaster](3D") [Connecticut couple holds up 30 gas stations/min= i marts over 5 week period. And they say nobody wants to work anymore](3D") [JFC, KFC](3D") [Walmart has such sights to show your kids](3D") [Henry Winkler could've had J= ohn Travolta's role in Grease, and now he says turning it down was wro.... = wr... wrr... wr](3D"=) [Do= n Jr. makes a campaign donation](3D"=) [You have not died of fascism](3D") [Astronaut defeats asswipe](3D") [Elon M= usk verification scandal continues; Elongate is getting really drawn out](3D")= > [Pigeons on the wi= ng, that is what we are](3D"=) [When you die, you can now have your remains scattered by = drone across the UK. It helps if you're cremated, but it's not as funny](3D")= [IceCube detects high-e= nergy neutrinos from an active galactic nucleus. Dr. Dre closing in on cure= for cancer](3D"=) Fark Weird= News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)= Another fun time on the Quiz this week, and I still say Ding Dongs= are better than King Dons no matter what Hostess says. On the Quiz itself,= SoundOfOneHandWanking came out on top with a score of 101= 4 and a ticket to the 1000 club, where I'm sad to say that after all the ta= ste testing, we're out of both Ding Dongs and King Dons and only have Big W= heels left, which are like the Go-Bots of Hostess cream-filled chocolate-co= vered chocolate cake discs. Blackstone made second wi= th 938, Recoil Therapy made third with 930, urethr= a_franklin came in fourth with 928, and HFK = rounds out the top five with 925. The hardest question on last week= 's Hard Quiz was about which fast food joint had created a ridiculous gamin= g chair to celebrate the launch of their new chicken sandwich in the UK, wh= ich I understand is similar to the American chicken sandwich except it driv= es on the wrong side of the road. Only 45% of quiztakers caught the article= about the chair with built in drink and fry holders, dipping sauce co= ntainer divots, a sandwich warmer, and greaseproof leather that came only i= n McDonald's yellow. See, UK Farkers? Brexit's working out great, since the= contest to win one isn't open to EU member nations, just UK residents.&nbs= p; The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the defi= nition of the word "bilious", which, it turns out, does not mean a gatherin= g of people among whom are a statistically improbable number of guys named = "William". 91% of quiztakers knew it meant "angry or bad-tempered". Which i= n defense of my definition is how I imagine one of the non-Williams would b= egin to feel at the aforementioned gathering when trying to find their frie= nd Bill who has their car keys. The hardest question on last = week's Easy Quiz was about the artist formerly known as Aaron Sturtevant. O= nly 55% of quiztakers knew that the "Breaking Bad" star has now legally cha= nged his name to the name he chose to work under, Aaron Paul. He's also cha= nged his son's name to match, and his wife is in the process of changing he= rs as well. Unfortunately, following the canceling of Westworld he has no p= rojects announced, but I imagine he'll be out there on PSN or Xbox Live mak= ing random cameos as Gamer691. The easiest question on last week's = Easy Quiz was also a word definition. "Abandon", when used as a noun, does = not describe a method of easily securing loose cargo for transport. 91% of = quiztakers knew it meant a feeling of wild freedom, like when you finally f= ind your friend Bill at the gathering and he's pulled the car around and is= as ready to go as you are, meaning you can abandon (as a verb) the gatheri= ng before something else statistically unlikely happens, giving you a feeli= ng of reckless abandon before the party's host, Bill Wiliamson, discovers y= ou've made off with a bottle of his good Scotch and becomes rather bilious.= If you missed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D"). Congratulations once agai= n to the winners, and we'll do it all again this Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1668624663-94171-34487--