Fark NotNewsletter: COVID Whac-A-Mole Edition

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1652981143-74329-49937 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 54003](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ Hey everyone hope your week's been well. I play tr= ivia with some friends every Wednesday at a local pizza pub. This wee= k half of the regulars didn't show up - turns out four of them caught COVID= last week. The restaurant has one wall of garage doors, all were ope= n to the outside and fans were running. Two of them were sitting on e= ither side of me and one was across from me. I've tested negative twi= ce since then. Been keeping tabs on this mostly through Fark submiss= ions and through [Josh Marshall's exce= llent epidemiology twitter list](3D"=). Seems like they're worried. = ; Also here comes the monkeypox. Meanwhile, North Korea appears to be= in the middle of an epidemic, luckily Kim Jong-Un has told everyone they c= an cure it by gargling salt water, which I think is also the official natio= nal food there. Gonna chat a little about this and much much more on= the [Fark News Livestream](3D") today at 4 p.m. with = me, Lucky, Dill, and hopefully Christine who might be late due to a thing.&= nbsp; It was a banner week for weird news; I pulled the weirdest ones inclu= ding never take a nap at a morgue, it might now be legal to name your kid P= ikachu in Japan, and Lou Ferrigno comes out of retirement to play a canniba= listic pig farmer. And much, much, much more. Be careful out t= here folks. ________________________ End Drew = strong> transmission ________________________ Top Comments Some of the = top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week Funn= y: Combustion [com= plimented a fellow Farker](3D" JerseyTim shared [the plot of the new "Top Gun" movie](3D") Rapmaster2000 told us more about [a Minnesota stranger who helped two refugees 23 years ago](3D")capt.snicklefritz figured that [a certain Farker was definitely qualified to offer an opin= ion about "Top Gun"](3D") moothemagiccow shared [an original personal story about plagiarism= a> TelemonianAjax](3D")[def= ended the show "Shoresy"](3D" wildcardjack thought that= [John Deere could soon be inspiring a= rt](3D") Excelsior [canc= eled plans for the lunar eclipse](3D" Kalashinator reme= mbered [when McDonald's rued the day t= hey decided to sue an Irish restaurant chain](3D"=) Naido = found some [valuable information in a= n article about the capture of Casey White and Vicky White](3D"=) S= mart: Winterlight was [the hero the HOA needed](3D" Aussie_As want= ed to know [what's the deal with unfar= kable losers these days](3D".=) Merltech pointed out that&n= bsp;[you can get a good look at a T-bone by= sticking your head up a bull's ass, but it's better to just take a butcher= 's word for it](3D") spaceberry had plans [if working in the office becomes mandatory](3D") syrynxx explained [wh= at the Fairchild Republic A-10 Thunderbolt II is](3D" ryebread = strong> discussed [the evolution of w= orking from home](3D"https=) Speef talked about [the effects of the technical restrictions on John D= eere's farm equipment](3D") TWX shared a story about&nbs= p;[unwanted phone calls at dinnertime](3D")foo monkey called attention to [the people at work who'll never bother you about your TPS = reports](3D") CSB Sunday Morning theme: [Your most memorable dream](3D") Smart: The Third Man [lectures people in bed](3D" Funny: Hoy= tArcher45 [was here](3D"https://=) Politics Funny: Colour_out_of_Space recognized&= nbsp;[the racist rantings of the excrement = who went on a shooting spree in a Buffalo, NY supermarket](3D") Bo= otleg figured out what woul= d get the livestreaming murderer in trouble Mr. Coffee Nerve= s explained [why some "red" = counties had way higher "non-COVID" death rates than average](3D"h=) bloobeary guessed at [why 1= 0-year-old Logan would want a birthday cake that curses out Joe Biden](3D" explained [why Louisiana would claim their abortion ban is not subject to judicial = oversight](3D" Politics Smart: UberDave = addressed [a weird attempt to politic= ize the fact that Pizza Hut is not the same happening place it was in the '= 80s and '90s](3D".=) revrendjim looked at [Rep. Paul Gosar's complaints about helping Ukraine](3D")= > bloobeary considered [potential consequences of legislation Josh Hawley introduced to pun= ish Disney by limiting copyrights](3D" I want that sauce Morty! came up with a plan for [taki= ng advantage of Twitter's "free speech" policy if Elon Musk takes over](3D" wondered [if there will be another task added to doctors' jobs](3D" Top Contest Entries Some o= f the top-voted contest entries from last week Photoshops:Mojongo showed [a= tense game of "Jeopardy!"](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector = envisioned [a violent end to Putin's a= ttack on Ukraine](3D".=) RedZoneTuba gave us a look at&nbs= p;[Trump earning his first impeachment](3D")= Godscrack designed [a kickass hood ornament](3D" RedZoneTuba demonstrat= ed [the firepower of this fully armed = and operational battle stoat](3D"=) derfiticulum [gave Zelenskyy what he needs to win any fight](3D")Yammering_Splat_Vector proved that [weasels can fly](3D") Yammering_Splat_Vector = strong> learned that [it was too much = red meat that killed off the dinosaurs](3D"ht=) bugdozer [gave this president some pets](3D") RedZoneTuba [smooshed an unluck= y coyote](3D"https=) Farktography theme: [Happy Farktography Anniversary 17](3D")This Farktography contest ended in a tie between beerrun= rong>'s [floofy pale blue birb](3D"=) and= kittyhas1000legs' [moving Vietnam veterans memorial](3D" Fark Headlines of the Week A selection of so= me of the top headlines from last week [A reminder that= Russian tanks are simply following their migratory instincts](3D") [Lincoln College gets assassin= ated](3D") [Casey White, Vicky White captured. Snow, Vanna, still on the lo= ose](3D".=) [How do you make recalcitrant Europeans get vaccinated? Subby suggest= s a group of men dressed in red cassocks who ambush the vaccine hesitant, s= ticking the needle in while shouting "No one expects the Spanish vaccinatio= n"](3D"=) [Carpet pythons invade Australian ho= me for breeding season, use performance enhancing rugs](3D"=) [Some good news on the baby formu= la shortage](3D") [Bob Lanier dies after being dragged up and down th= e court for 48 minutes](3D"https=) Tiffany redesigns the N= BA Championship and MVP trophies and Debbie Gibson never had a chance [You were= not brought upon this world to get it, Mr. Burton, but James Hong was put = on this world to get a star on the Walk of Fame](3D") [Famed German director Wim Wen= ders is making a film about high-end public restrooms in Japan. Yes, he is = literally going there](3D") New York Times editor aborts fetus [Stop: collaborate and listen / ICE is back with= a brand new invention / Data: gets collected widely / Warrantless surveill= ance daily and nightly / Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know / Why don't yo= u trust the cops, bro?](3D") What unprofessional things have you done at = work? This being Fark: apparently, being drunk at work is generally conside= red unprofessional [Duck duck duck duck duck duck duck = duck duck duck duck duck duck sewer](=3D") [Owl spots some wildlife photographers, gets in on the action while= also contemplating murder the entire time](3D") [Two Iow= a men found nearly 200 lbs. of morels. They must be fun guys to be with](3D")= ['NASA's InSight records monster quake on = Mars." This could only be cooler if it were literal](3D"=) [We can dance if we want to, we can l= eave this world behind. Strasbourg's the scene, in 1518, and the 'Dance Pla= gue' is undefined](3D") Fark W= eird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy= ng>) Another fun time on this week's Quiz, where we learned that you= don't have to be superstitious yourself to make money off of the people wh= o are. Having a lot of wealthy friends and a good recipe for pickled onions= doesn't hurt, either. On the Quiz itself, we have two folks in the 1000 cl= ub, where we'll be testing out new potato salad recipes that substitute bla= ck currants or grilled pineapple for the raisins. So congratulations t= o SoundOfOneHandWanking with your score of 1014 and&n= bsp;Dead Skin Mask with 1002, you're in for a treat. = Denjiro made third with 961, The Third Man= > made fourth with 945, and LizardOnAStick made it in= to the top five with 942. The hardest question on this week's Hard Q= uiz was about how to spot a fake toonie, Only 31% of quiztakers knew that t= he first step is to see if it has a bear on the back of the coin. For the r= ecord, if it has a beaver on the back it's a Canadian nickel, and a schoone= r is on the back of a Canadian dime. And on the front of all of them is som= e old foreign lady that spent 45 days touring the entire country back in 19= 59 and apparently left such an impression they put her on their money. = ; The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about which founding fat= her actually included a recipe for an abortifacient (and instructions on ad= ministering the dose) in a general handbook he published in the 18th Centur= y called "The Instructor". 89% of quiztakers went with the safe bet - the g= uy who owned his own print shop, Benjamin Franklin. And they were correct. = One might also surmise Franklin was the one who might want said recipe clos= e to hand, as his reputation as a ladies' man is well documented, whereas e= vidence of his discretion in choosing partners is rather lacking. Th= e hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about why actor James Cromw= ell glued himself to the counter at a Manhattan Starbucks. Only 57% of quiz= takers knew that it wasn't about labor disputes or fair trade coffee, it wa= s about having to pay more for nondairy milk-like substances to go in his c= offee. I hesitate to think how Starbucks corporate offices are taking this,= but I imagine they're working on plans for easily detachable countertops t= o make arrests quicker with spare counters in the back to keep the&nbs= p;overpriced coffee flowing. .The easiest question on the Easy= Quiz is about what generation-defining product Apple was discontinuing. 98= % of quiztakers knew that this is your last chance to grab the last remaini= ng model of iPod, the iPod Touch. Which is understandable, as now they are = basically an iPhone that can't make calls over the cellular network. I gues= s they felt the lack of cellular capabilities meant they couldn't track the= users as much, so they're making everyone upgrade. If you mis= sed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the F= ark Weird News Quiz](3D". Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'= ll be doing it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1652981143-74329-49937--