Fark NotNewsletter: Does this water taste like snitch to you?

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1652300016-5227-50477 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 35844](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ Hey everyone, hope your week's been well. Last two= weeks in a row now, the weird news cycle has been pretty slow on Mondays b= ut has come roaring back as the weeks went on. One interesting phenom= enon to note has been all the fun at Lake Mead recently. We covered t= his a bit on the livestream last week, but as the water level at Lake Mead = continues to drop, bodies are starting to pop up. Last week [one was found in a barrel](3D"), with a fantastic follow-up by the local ne= ws I-Team who discovered [a second barrel with no bodies](3D"htt=) in it and = got an entire article out of it. Over the weekend, [another body turned up. At this rate, we should locate the](3D")[Titanic and the Loch Ness Monster](3D") in no time. At 4 = p.m. Eastern on Thursday, May 12th it's the [Fark Ne= ws Livestream](3D") with me, Christine, Dill, and Lucky. I'm gonna have= to pare down the candidate articles quite a bit, but stories may include C= aptain Blood and the Theft of the Crown Jewels, Russian Oligarch dead by to= ad, rescued Nintendogs, and from a metaphysical perspective what exactly is= a fart? And much much more. At the rate things are going, it could b= e full blown Mad Libs. ________________________ End Drew transmission ________________________ Top Comments S= ome of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week Funny: relaxitsjustme explained [why it was a bad idea for someone to drive 12-f= oot planks home by sticking them through the car's windows](3D") b= lastoh had [a feeling of dre= ad regarding that person driving with planks through the windows](3D"ht=) claytonemery penned [a = Nantucket limerick to reflect a recent development](3D" The Pope = of Manwich Village [celebrated th= e greenlighting of a "pope thread"](3D=) SpectroBoy want= ed to [employ neighbors of a house tha= t the owners are looking to rent to "a vaccine-free family of European heri= tage"](3D".=) InfoFreako knew [what could've made a man in his 70s think it was a good idea to= (allegedly) make lewd comments to a 16-year-old girl](3D" I Have= A Bo Burnham GIF For That demonstrated [why one might choose to wear a necktie](3D") Angry Dr= unk Bureaucrat explained why [this guy running a D&D campaign for 40 years isn't as impressive as i= t sounds](3D" amigafin had [a specific reason to be disappointed that a cafe shut down afte= r the basement was flooded with oil](3D" oldfarthenry w= rote [another limerick for Nantucket= a> Smart: Bruscar shared an example of=](3D"=)[how horrible people get around anti-= discrimination laws](3D") optikeye [found some church stuff to be a little confusing](3D" claytonemery penned [a Nant= ucket limerick to reflect a recent development](3D" hubiestubert = discussed [America's lead po= isoning legacy](3D"htt=) Rapmaster2000 shared a story about&= nbsp;[working with someone whose name took = on a bad association](3D") phalamir [explained NFTs](3D") CSB Sunday Morning theme:&n= bsp;[That one = time at the supermarket](3D") Smart: johndalek = had fond memories of [a small grocery = store where the workers knew the customers](3D"ht=) Funny: C= afe Threads [threatened everyon= e in the store](3D"https:=) Politics Funny: Mr. Coffee Ne= rves [spoiled the plot of Kirk Ca= meron's next movie](3D"=) Bootleg had plans to [start using Donald Trump's social media platfor= m](3D") Dr. DJ Duckhunt predicted [what might happen after a Russian major general was report= ed killed](3D" I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That remarke= d on [so many MAGA things being cramme= d into one headline](3D"=) born_yesterday might've figure= d out [why so many Russian generals ar= e being killed in action](3D".=) Politics Smart: mar= tiandooz brought up one way= in which the negative effects of further limiting abortion access could be= so much more visible khitsicker reminded us to&nb= sp;[be more understanding of one of Matt Ga= etz's errors](3D") NateAsbestos listed some [things Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has done to suppo= rt "women's access to health care"](3D") educated interp= reted [Louisiana's plan to grant perso= nhood "from the moment of fertilization"](3D".=) enry resp= onded to the weird ["the Constitution = doesn't mention abortion" argument](3D"http=) Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted cont= est entries from last week Photoshops: samsquatc= h [kept the sheep safe](3D"=) RedZoneTuba remembered [President Trump's greatest work](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector = trong> made [a variation on the world'= s greatest sweater](3D"=) bugdozer [insulted our parents](3D" Terrapin Bound [recognized a trap](3D") Yammering_S= plat_Vector [woke up to a bad v= iew out the window](3D"https:=) kabloink [played with the winged cat](3D" markie_farkie = g> [made enough to feed the whole house](3D")= Yammering_Splat_Vector's [parrot looked like it wasn't feeling well](3D" noazark [set up a really messy fight at th= e park](3D"=) Farktography theme: [Street Cred](3D") This week's Farktography contest ended in a = tie with Nuclear Monk's [road less traveled](3D" and FuLinHyu's foggy road in rural Pennsylvania Final Fartist Friday theme: [Show & Tell Vol. 18: Our Final Weekly C= ontest](3D") BigKaboom shared [an impressive drawing](3D" Fark Headlines of the Week A selection of some = of the top headlines from last week [Plastered party pilot pushes peda= l-pub past peril point, passengers petrified. Police probing predicament po= nder potential PUI proceedings](3D") [The price hasn't been slashed...yet](3D") [Man survives after being shot 15= times in Minneapolis. You'd think after the fourth or fifth time he'd stop= going to Minneapolis](3D") Tomorrow= land floods as extreme weather hits central Florida. This is what's known a= s foreshadowing [$5,000 reward to any divers that discover more bod= ies submerged in Lake Mead. Though at the rate the lake level is falling, h= ikers will do too](3D"h=) [It's been= a long time since I used the Wheaton tag, almost as long as it's been sinc= e I was Wesley Crusher](3D=) Levi Strauss tells workers they don't h= ave to pass on their genes [Wisconsin relying on 1849 law to ban abortion. No wor= d on how soon slavery will be legal or when they'll start deporting the Iri= sh](3D") [Great time to ban abor= tion](3D"=) [I used e= yelash glue to give her fuller lips, and accidentally glued my wife's lips = together. Now she's not speaking to me](3D".=) Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on this week's Quiz, wher= e we discussed the socially acceptable way to return a mama cat that has de= cided to have kittens on your porch back to her owner. On the Quiz itself, = we had three people make it into the 1000 club, so it's a good thing we got= in plenty of potato salad from the canceled Little Rock Juneteenth festiva= l. spudbeach came out on top with 1022, followed by&n= bsp;Xanadone in second with 1010 and grimlock= 1972 in third with 1002. I hope you all like raisins and chickpeas= . zeronewbury made fourth with 992, and Data made it into the top five with 954. The hardest = question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which actor was working on brin= ging 12 locations of the British vegan chain Neat Food Co. to this side of = the pond. Only 37% of quiztakers knew that before he made it big, Leonardo = DiCaprio took some less-than-memorable roles as Josh in "Critters 3" and Gu= y in "Poison Ivy." Being that DiCaprio lives in California, I have to quest= ion the vegan selection available there if he thinks it would be even moder= ately improved by the introduction of British cuisine. T= he easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about how to get a free ye= ar's worth of Devil's Backbone IPA. 80% of quiztakers knew that you could g= o get a tattoo (at your own expense) of their logo and share a pic on socia= l media to receive a gift card worth a whopping $480, which would buy you a= pproximately a six-pack a week. Apparently no one told the promotion organi= zers there are actually seven days in a week. or that tattoos (especially t= heir multicolored design) can be rather expensive. The hardest= question on last week's Easy Quiz was about science fiction novels. Only 4= 6% of quiztakers knew that Alan Dean Foster wrote the novelization for Star= Wars for George Lucas, and was asked to come up with a new novel to act as= a sequel that could be "cheaply filmed" in case Lucas didn't get a good bu= dget for a sequel. Unfortunately for Foster, "Star Wars" was a resounding s= uccess and Lucas was given a far bigger budget, so "Splinter of the Mind's = Eye" was never filmed. Also, Stephen Spielberg, who wrote and directed "Clo= se Encounters of the Third Kind," actually wrote the novelization himself, = "Night Skies," his intended sequel, was never filmed or novelized. T= he easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which actor caused t= he filming of "Being Mortal" to be suspended due to accusations of inapprop= riate behavior. 91% of quiztakers knew that it was Bill Murray who was star= ring in the movie. I don't know about you, but I'm starting to think there = might be some kind of problem in Hollywood with how A-list actors are treat= ing their co-workers. If you missed out last week, now's a gre= at time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D".=). = Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again = on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1652300016-5227-50477--