Fark NotNewsletter: A fresh (free!) Fark feature, plus gettin' Lucky on Livestream

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1642108505-85019-53966 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 52901](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ Hey everyone, hope your week's been well. It's Jan= uary, which in the Digital Media industry is pretty much an advertising was= teland. I spent last fall getting up to speed on ad ops to see if I c= ould figure it out. Turns out I do kind of like swimming in vast pool= s of data. One interesting thing that came of this ad ops deep dive i= s learning how media buying works. First off, everyone blows their entire a= nnual budget in December. I had a theory that maybe spring and summer vacat= ion destinations might kick up ad spends during January, but either I'm dea= d wrong or COVID put an end to it because this ad spend is nowhere to be se= en. Along those same lines, I found a great ad ops forum filled with = super candid ad buyers who basically said they don't spend a dime until mid= March at the soonest. What I'm getting at here is now's the time to= [sign up for TotalFark](3D"). If it were up to me, we wouldn= 't run ads at all, but we have to pay the bills somehow. Just like sh= opping local keeps your local restaurants running, signing up for TotalFark= goes way further than ad revenue. Help us finance new features and k= eep Fark running. On that note, if anyone's got any good ideas for so= me fundraising stunts, let me know in the comments. I'm game for prett= y much anything. New Feature: Headline of the Month! We're lau= nching Headline of the Month voting. Part of the impetus behind this = was how difficult it was to narrow down Headline of the Year candidates - I= was barely able to get Main under 250, for example. However, if we d= o voting monthly, this helps us narrow down the final qualifiers. Dec= ember voting will be launching very soon, so keep an eye out. Also th= is will be the last year we tack December onto the end; going forward,= we plan to keep HotY to the previous calendar year. Today at 4 p.m.= it's the [Fark News Livestream](3D"=) with Christine, = Dill, Rebecca, and [Lucky Yates](3D"https://t=). Lucky, who = turns out is a longtime news junkie and avid Farker, crashed the party last= week at the last minute and totally killed it with his "you know what else= is a bridge to crabs" riff, so we're doing it again! Join us for ana= rchist clown pies, warhorse ponies, Zionist dolphins of doom, and Nyquil po= ached chicken recipes! And more! ________________________ End Drew transmission ___________________= _____ Top Comments= Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from th= e past week Funny: 8 inches had feelin= gs about [an article discussing "= AirPod-shaped women"](3D"=) gopher321 showed us [the coolest movie shot](3D") moothema= giccow proved that GMO prod= uce is a good thing Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen knew&nb= sp;[what an AirPod-shaped woman would actua= lly look like](3D") Derp Du Jour saw photos of [French twins Igor and Grichka Bogdanoff, who d= ied of COVID-19, and was reminded of an '80s band](3D") Martian_As= tronomer explained why a wi= nter storm in Montgomery County, KY led to a 75-car pileup R= agin' Asian [had something to r= age about](3D"https:=) Marcos P told us [why Billie Jean Dunn's former boyfriend wasn't charged wit= h her daughter's death until now](3D") Jeff5 figured out= [why Pabst Blue Ribbon tweeted that y= ou should eat butt if you're not drinking this month](3D") I Have = A Bo Burnham GIF For That showed us [a tech firm founder's explanation for sending an anti-Semitic grou= p email](3D" Smart: aimtastic discussed= [Pope Francis' assertion that not hav= ing children is selfish](3D") BakaDono pointed out that&= nbsp;[what a high school in Minnesota is do= ing to cover a janitor shortage is not new](3D") kudayta = theorized about [what could be infl= uencing Antonio Brown's behavior](3D"https:=) SpectroBoy advised us on building our fortunes = scalpod suggested [w= e not go renaming our space telescopes just yet](3D" houstondrago= n shared some [resources for= veterans who are struggling with their mental health](3D=) wademh= addressed [the misconceptio= n that "real" vaccines are 100% effective, and explained why it's everyone'= s duty to be vaccinated if they're able](3D"ht=) Driedsponge = > discussed [the use of Apple AirTags = for criming](3D"=) CSB Sunday Morning: [Unusual pets](3D") Smart: Ote= ra told us about [Clarice th= e Starling](=3D" Funny: grchunt's housemate = ;[had a pet rat that was a little too fri= endly](3D") CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farke= rs to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If y= ou have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please [contac= t Farkback](3D" ahead of time, or just [submit it](3D" on Saturday aft= ernoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads hav= e a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will= be. Politics Funny: ThomasPaineTrain = helped out with [information about one= of the areas where protests are taking place in Kazakhstan](3D"https:/=) = buserror wrote [a poem abo= ut the death of a prominent QAnoner](=3D" with the help of the Fark [SwearJar](3D") fatassbastard = > thought that [life's been good for a= certain former Republican](3D"https://=) dionysusaur reacted to&= nbsp;[a photo of the mayor's office in Alma= ty, Kazakhstan that was set on fire by protesters](3D") EnzoTheCod= er revealed that [President = Biden took a page from Trump's playbook](=3D" Politics Smart:= snowblur wanted to [remind Attorney General Merrick Garland that January 6 isn't the only t= hing that needs investigating](3D" The Reverend Sam Hill = > looked at [how all the COVID-19 infe= ctions in the U.S. since inauguration day are Biden's fault](3D"=) = namegoeshere considered [wha= t to do about stressed-out parents](3D" Pocket Ninja di= scussed the attempt to [blame the Janu= ary 6 insurrection on Democrats](3D"=) tinderfitles talke= d about [what gives value to the dolla= r and cryptocurrency](3D"=) Top= Contest Entries Some of the top-voted contest entries fr= om last week Photoshops: A challenge to [redesign St. Francois County, MO= 's seal](3D") was very popular, and even [got Fark a mentio= n in a Riverfront Times article](3D"). The [highest-= voted entries for this contest](3D") were created by [fluffy_pope](3D"), [ThomasPaineTrain](3D"), [kolpanic](3D" [RedZoneTuba](3D" and [EnzoTheCoder](3D". TrollingForColumbine = showed us that [this hillside house is= actually a robot in disguise](3D"https://=) Yammering_Splat_Vector = g> found [another Trump photoshoot gon= e wrong](3D"=) RedZoneTuba gave us [a fight between notoriously overly-aggressive parties](3D")Yammering_Splat_Vector had [a creepy peeker](3D" Circusdog320 [gave Luke something cuter than a tauntaun to ride o= n Hoth](3D") Wrongo [jus= t wanted a New Coke](3D" kabloink showed us [another of Satsuki and Mei's neighbors](3D") Wrongo discovered [ano= ther way in which hares are similar to rabbits](3D" west.la.lawye= r revealed [the backup Batca= ve](3D"ht=) Fartist Friday: [Eye= rhymes about hopes for 2022](3D") whatsupchuck [wanted to see us all live long and prosper](3D")= > This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by = E-brake: Celebrate [National Rubber Ducky Day](3D") by showing us how a well-= placed rubber ducky could have changed world history. Tossing one in front = of Lincoln to deflect Booth's bullet? Totally plausible. Placing a hug= e rubber ducky on the iceberg that sunk the Titanic so they'd see it sooner= ? Great plan. All art programs and materials allowed such as Photoshop= , MS Paint/Draw, pencil & paper, etc. Farktography:&nbs= p;[Let's Get Technical](3D") orionid showed us [a F= arking "bad day in a nuclear power plant"](3D" Beyond Fark We're sad to have lost long= time Farker and avid Farktographer [Ciliar= ySpasm](3D" who passed away Christmas morning. Before his dea= th, he arranged for one of his sons to reach out to let us know how much Fa= rk and the Farktography community meant to him. He also had a special reque= st for his memorial Farktography theme, "Majestic Monochrome." [CiliarySpas= m's memorial Farktography thread](3D") is open now for entries and v= oting. Fark Headlines = of the Week A selection of some of the top headlines from= last week [Life isn't fare](3D"=) [Oh so sorry. Your blood test came back guilty on four counts of fraud= a>](3D")[This is WAY too clo= se for comfort](3D"=) [Metal asteroid could be worth 10 quintillion dollars, say NASA folks= who got entirely the wrong takeaways from "Don't Look Up"](3D"ht=) [Miss a few car payments? That's a dog mauling. Get pulled over by polic= e? Dog mauling. Drive your dog to the mall? Oh, you better believe that's a= dog malling](3D") [Scientists name tree after L= eonardo DiCaprio, presumably because its wood doesn't float](3D"http=) [Jon Stewart calls= out JK for her Magic Jews that run the banks, not to be confused with Star= Trek's Space Jews that run Ferenginar](3D") [Tarantino is determined to s= ell NFTs and will not accept defeet](3D") [Prime Minister resigns Sudanly](3D") [Welcome back, Qatar](3D") [Trumpy and Lumpy had a big br= awl Trumpy said Lumpy made a bad call All of the news hosts and all the yes= men Couldn't put Trumpy and Lumpy back together again](3D") [COVID killed the QAnon star](3D") [Hasbro whips out Cocks for he= ad position](3D") [The worst technology of 2021. Next year, Fark Swea= rJar. Next year](3D"https=) Fark Wei= rd News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy= >) Another fun time on last week's Quiz, although through an error o= n my part, some people got more questions than others. So I'm giving you th= e whole top 10 this time: Ivo Shandor - 1234 bingethinker - 1204 TheMothership - 1190SumoJeb - 1153 wildcardjack - 1146bobbelieu - 1142 Megateuthis - 1113= maddog2030 - 1109 spudbeach - 1108= Xanadone - 1104 The hardest question on this we= ek's Hard Quiz was about those wacky Canadians and their ideas for animal c= ontrol. Only 31% of quiztakers caught the story about the City of Edmonton = and a research project there asking for volunteers to scare off coyotes by = charging at them, running and screaming and lobbing sand-filled tennis= balls at them and presumably yelling "Sorry!" if one of the balls makes co= ntact. Honestly, I think they'd do better passing out buckets of the tennis= balls at local bars and giving the bartender a bell to ring when coyotes a= re sighted in the vicinity. I'm curious about what happens when the coyotes= start chasing the tennis balls and bringing them back to the people throwi= ng them. The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about whi= ch former British politician ordered the shelling of a historic 8-BR Jacobe= an mansion in Flintshire, England back in 1654 that is now up for sale, com= plete with the original front door that was damaged by the cannon fire. 90%= of quiztakers identified Oliver Cromwell as the leader of the Roundheads. = Benjamin Disraeli was the "British exceptionalism" imperialist Prime Minist= er in the 1800s who was known for buying up Egypt's share in the Suez Canal= , and Neville Chamberlain was the Nazi appeasing Prime Minister of the 1930= s. The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Big= Ben's new color scheme. No, Roethlisberger hasn't announced he's moving to= a new team, but the clock tower on the north face of Westimenter got a new= paint job to match the original scheme from 1859. Although it was painted = black in the 1930s to disguise the air pollution inherent to the Industrial= Revolution, 63% of quiztakers knew that the hands and markings on the face= were once again a proud Prussian Blue. Personally, I think that since it w= as built approaching the height of the British Empire, the UK should have j= ust stolen the color and called it "Big Ben Blue" and dared anyone to say a= nything. The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about Mall of Ame= rica, where two people were shot last week and this being America, it barel= y made the local news. 98% of quiztakers knew that you could find Mall of A= merica in Bloomington, MN - a suburb of Minneapolis/St, Paul. While there, = be sure to visit all 520 stores and 50 restaurants - three(!) of which are = Starbucks. Also, it's probably not a good idea to talk to the guy selling p= illows and ranting about voting machines and the Supreme Court. If you missed out last week, be sure to [catch up on the = Fark Weird News Quiz](3D" now that you know a few of the answers. Congratula= tions to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1642108505-85019-53966--