Fark NotNewsletter: Fun with Sri Lankan shipping companies, & Fark Headline of the Year Livestream coming out

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1640204905-82924-54038 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 03726](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ Hey everyone, hope your week's been well. Tuesday = morning, FriarReb98 sent in a [Farkback](3D" asking why w= e hadn't posted the 12 millionth link. I'm glad he wrote in because I= had no idea we were so close. As luck would have it, a spammer submi= tted [= the 12 millionth link](3D") early that morning - for some shipping company in= Sri Lanka named after Jar Jar Binks' catchphrase. Hopefully everyone= enjoyed mocking them as much as I did. Plus I guess if I need anythi= ng moved in Sri Lanka, I have someone to call. Headline of the Year = voting closed yesterday. Thanks to everyone who voted! Because.= .. Thursday at 4 p.m. Eastern it's [the Fark = News Headline of the Year Livestrea= m](3D")! I'll be presenting for the first time anywhere the runner ups and wi= nners of Fark's 2021 Headline of the Year contests. Several qualifyin= g submitters already hang out in the stream chat most weeks, so you'll be a= ble to tell them yourself how much you loved their winning submissions.&nbs= p; We'll also be presenting the weirder stories in the news this week. = ; Lots of Christmas stuff - including the 1922 story of a bunch of kids fro= m one small Florida town who for some reason that year sent Santa Claus a s= urprisingly large quantity of hate mail. We'll have more Christ= mas weirdness, and Science! ________________________ End = ;Drew transmission ________________________ = Top Comments = Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week= Funny: DoBeDoBeDo discovered that&nbs= p;[if you search long enough, you can find= a solution to any problem](3D") EvilEgg was [ready to take over hubiestubert= 's restaurant](3D") JessieL explained [why you should buy a brass knuckle Jesus dual taco hold= er butt plug](3D") Ragin' Asian agreed that [a clothing brand made a poor choice when naming a= child's dress](3D") thealgorerhythm's [idea for renaming the dress was really no better](3D")Subtonic [once won a= major award](=3D" EvilEgg [made a huge mistake](3D" physt proved that [every generation thinks the next one is spoil= ed](3D") JerseyTim knew [who should've been named Person of the Year](3D" I Have A= Bo Burnham GIF For That demonstrated [what you should do when neckties go out of style](3D" Smart: Martian_Astronomer was [unsurprised by a recent development on this planet](3D")hebrides was interviewed by Washington Post about the = financial devastation caused long COVID, and shared with us [the ongoing struggles of living with the effect= s of the disease](3D") Unobtanium noted that [passengers take a whole lot of orders from fligh= t attendants](3D") Ragin' Asian [made a lot of Farkers suddenly wish Anne Rice had been their aunt Subtonic](3D" won= a major award Harlee [stays away from fresh fruit and vegetables](3D" CSB Sunday M= orning: [Strangest Christmas presents](3D"=) Smart: Lunakki = rong> got [enough marbles to win Squid= Game](3D"=) Smart (honorable mention because this story won last = year): kokomo61 gave [the sweetest Christmas present](3D" Funny: MIApp= ologia had [reason enough ri= ght here to divorce this douchewaffle](3D"ht=) CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sund= ay Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own liv= es based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morni= ng thread, please [contact Farkback](3D"https=) ahead of time, or just = [submit it](3D" on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted = CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there = is no guarantee they will be. Politics Funny: Shostie proved that [the = War on Christmas is real](3D" Notabunny explained = [why people have mixed feelings about Kentu= cky](3D") special20 [too= k a guess at how to complete a photo of Marjorie Taylor Greene](3D" Sin'sHero told us [why Ch= ris Wallace finally left Fox News after 18 years](3D" EvilEgg = trong> figured out [how to finally bri= ng peace to the Middle East](3D"http=) Politics Smart: = mrshowrules pointed out that [kids might already be learning things concerned citizens claim Tennessee = schools will teach them](3D" Psychopusher explained&nbs= p;[why the governor of Colorado is wrong t= o rule out a mask mandate](3D"), and why we all should keep wearing them rickythepenguin discussed [the history of Native American voting rights](3D" Cyberlu= ddite had a good explanation of [why people who are following health guidelines can't just say "eh, scr= ew 'em" about those who refuse to be responsible](3D" Nadie_AZ = strong> brought up [a reason certain s= enators might not be eager to pass the Build Back Better Act](3D"http=) Top Contest Entries = Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week Photoshops:= RedZoneTuba did [the distracted boyfriend meme, sci-fi style](3D" kabloink= [made more trouble for Al Franke= n](3D".=) Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us [how talented amphibians are made](3D") kabl= oink [really surprised Darth Vade= r](3D"=) Yammering_Splat_Vector [wrote a romance novel](3D" RedZoneTuba showed&n= bsp;[where stereotypes come from](3D") Nojimbo [gave misery some c= ompany](3D"https=) Herb Utsmelz made [a playful update to the iconic Rolling Stones logo](3D") fluffy_pope had help for [worried and frightened dog owners](3D" dlarsen222 [brought some excitement to fishing](3D") Fartist Friday: [To celebrate "Monk= ey Day," create a poem about our primate pals](=3D") RedZoneTuba = strong> wrote [a limerick about a surl= y primate](3D"https://w=) This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to = you by E-brake: Our theme is Show & Tel= l Vol. 14: Winter Wonderland. SHOW us your favorite artwork you've created,= or create something new, featuring the winter season and TELL us about it.= Farktography: [Do= wn to Earth](3D") common sense is an oxymoron [ducked down to get a good photo](3D") Fark Headlines of the Week A selection of some of the top headlines from last week [Happy birthday to Bob Barker, who is 98 today. He can'= t get much closer to 100 without going over](3D") [World's largest vegan= burger weighs over 358 pounds - of sadness](3D") [It is 11,000 years old. Pick it, a= nd it has an 8 year shelf life. It is hyper-resistant to disease. It is the= Uberspud, the Top Tater, the Godtato](3D") [Bread lines grow in Turkey as inflation soars. See, that's why= you cook the dressing outside of the bird, people](3D") [Heal hydra](3D") Demolition company will have to charge a flat fee [Butt slapped](3D") [Perhaps the su= rviving managers can apply at the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory](3D") [With a location description as vague as that, it's a wonder = they found her at all](3D") Two key organiz= ers of the TrumpCoup have seen the writing on the wall. Not the shiat that = was literally written on the wall during the riot, but metaphorical writing= to save their real asses [Ant queen's genes determi= ne the sex of entire colonies. No word on louse's blouses](3D") [Stressed out front-line health care work= ers who are doom-and-gloomin' may soon see help courtesy of shroomin'](3D") [If takin= g ivermectin isn't risky enough, COVID deniers must now confront counterfei= t ivermectin. How will they be able to tell?](3D") [Photographer tracks down subjects he photographed = over 40 years later to recreate the scenes. Story developing](3D") [Military tests Solid State La= ser weapon, misses a golden opportunity by failing to fill house with popco= rn first](3D") ['The Book of = Boba Fett' trailers have been boring because producers only wanted to inclu= de footage from the first half of the first episode. Presumably after that = is when Baby Jabba shows up](3D"https://=) [You can now mail order an = abortion. Just be careful packaging any returns](3D") Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by= ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz thi= s week, and I think I might try a tornado omelet over the Christmas break. = I'd like to get it perfected before I go trying to impress my nieces and ne= phews. Unfortunately, no one made the 1000 club, so I'll just have to eat m= y first attempts by my lonesome. On the Quiz itself, Evildog= g> came out on top with 934, followed by Glockenspiel Hero= rong> in second with 921 and bud jones in third with = 914. a far candle made fourth with 910, and kabloink made it into the top five with 893. The hardes= t question on last week's Hard Quiz was about where to find the world's cli= mate change data, in case you borrow Drew's time machine and go forward a c= ouple of hundred years and everyone is demanding to know what happened and = just how nice of a guy Keanu Reeves actually was and why we didn't put him = in charge of solving the crisis. Only 36% of quiztakers knew that the Power= s That Be thought they'd make future people work for it by sticking it in A= ustralia surrounded by things trying to kill the survivors of the climate a= pocalypse. I don't know what to tell them about not putting Keanu in charge= of this, it seems like it's worth a shot. The easiest question on t= he Hard Quiz was about the CEO of [better.com](3D") and how he = wasn't being better last week. 93% of quiztakers knew that he had fired 900= employees during a mass Zoom call, which seems to be a holdover pandemic t= radition that hopefully won't stick around too long. I mean, it could have = been worse, he could have called everyone into the office to do it. The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about what Pete Dav= idson and his buddy Machine Gun Kelly have been up to when they're not spen= ding time with women who everyone thinks are out of their league. Only 38% = of quiztakers knew that the two had been modeling Calvin Klein underwear on= the company's official Instagram page. I think we can agree that "CK under= wear models" should move them up a few notches on which women are "out of t= heir league". The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about = how a few entrants to a Saudi Arabian camel beauty contest got busted for c= heating. 93% of quiztakes knew that dozens of camels were banned for the us= e of Botox injections to plump up their... um... whatever things the judges= decide should be "plump" on a camel. I'm thinking I'm just fine without fu= rther details, so I'm not looking for any more. If you missed = out on last week's Quiz, you can [catch up on the Fark Weir= d News Quiz](3D" now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to = the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. 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